Hello lovelys! How have you all been? I have a super super short chapter for you that I'm not entirely proud of but, here it is anyways! I had a hard time thinking of stuff to do with this chapter, and it either was gonna be super super long, or really really short. I decided to choose short, and then the next chapter will hopefully be normal length. Anyways! Here ya go :)

Chapter 6- Sherlocks POV

I laid back, watching with half closed eyelids as John's familiar figure turned and left, closing the door quietly behind him.

'he's back. He's really back,' I thought to myself, unsure whether I wanted to embrace him and possibly never let him go, or whether I wanted him to go back to wherever the hell he's been this past year.

At first, it was just weariness I felt seeing him again. But once I realized he was real, it was elation, followed shortly by anger. Burning anger. It all came crashing down when I realized Mycroft did it, though. At least had a hand in all of this, like he usually does.

'I should have known,' I thought to myself bitterly, betrayal, anger, elation, and relief swirling around like a endless vortex in my head as I stared almost blankly at the gray, tiled ceiling, weariness seeping in again as I closed my eyes, only making everything more vivid.

"'I've always cared, Sherlock.' 'I'm on the rooftop' 'keep your eye's fixed on me.' 'Your loss would break my heart.'" I started shaking my head, eyes scrunching up more.

"No. No no, stop it!" I shouted, eyes flying open, forcing myself to take deep breaths, trying to calm my suddenly pounding heart.

"Hypocrite," I muttered under my breathe, thinking back to all that Mycroft had said to me since the fall. 'he could have told me. He should have. I can take care of myself,' I thought, thinking on what John had said about 'keeping me safe'.

John. Now there was a whole new set of feelings. 'should I forgive him?' I wondered, staring idly at the IV drip. "I shouldn't," I muttered aloud to myself, almost startling at how loud it sounded after such a long time of silence in the room.

I shouldn't. Logically I knew I shouldn't.'Isn't that what you do? Everything must go by logic?' My mind sneered at me. I fell silent at that, for once not having a response.

**** **** **** **** ~several days later~ **** **** **** ****

John didn't leave the hospital, but he kept his distance, only coming in for a few minutes every now and then, almost always alone and mostly when he thought I was sleeping. It was mildly irritating, even as it was a blessing. He seemed to sense that neither one of us were quite ready to come head to head with all of this.

Finally, finally the doctors released me with firm warnings and the such that I'm sure they realized I had no intention of following, and as I left I noticed John standing by the doors, shifting almost nervously as he scanned the area, stopping once he saw me.

Neither of us spoke as I approached, except for when I paused to hold the door open. He looked at me curiously, a unspoken question in his eye.

"Well come on then. We don't have all day," I said impatiently, quickly turning before I could see the barely concealed hope in his expression and went to hail a cab, knowing he'd follow.

The ride to Baker Street felt long, an uncomfortable silence filling the air as John stared vacantly out the window, me staring at him every once in awhile, still getting used to the idea that he's real this time.

I thought that the whole cab ride would go in silence for the duritation, but apparently I thought wrong. A few long minutes into the ride, John, without turning, spoke.

"Are you going to have me leave?" he questioned.

I raised an eyebrow, even though he couldn't see it. "Does it look like I'm making you leave?" I shot back.

I could tell from his partial reflection in the window that a wry smile spread across his face. "I suppose not," he admitted.

I sighed. "I should," I agreed, and now he turned to look at me, carefully trying to school his features into a neutral look, but I noticed the tenseness to his shoulders and the brief flash of resignation in his eyes. "I should, but I won't"

"You... Won't?" he questioned, doubt and confusion evident in his voice as his head tilted just the slightest to the side.

"No, I won't. Because now that you're back, I don't think I could handle you going a second time. Now that you're back, I don't plan on letting you go a second time," I admitted, deciding to be completely truthful.

John seemed to relax just the slightest bit, and my eyes narrowed slightly, no doubt looking hardened. "However, this does not mean that nothing has changed. It doesn't mean it's going to be like before. Because what you did, I may accept. But I will never forgive, or forget." I said, watching his reactions carefully.

He slouched just the slightest bit, eyes taking on a raw, pained look before it was carefully masked, like curtains being firmly closed, and he nodded.

"Of course. I didn't, I don't, expect you to. This is already more than I was expecting," he replied, and I nodded once before turning to look out the window myself, resolutely ignoring the feeling of his gaze on me before he himself turned.

It didn't take too much longer to reach 221B, and as soon as we got there I quickly exited and headed in, missing John's small, fond smile at the familiarity of this before the door closed.

"Mrs. Hudson!" I called. "We have a guest."

whew! I'm actually kinda glad that's over. Like, that was hard. Seriously, legitly, hard and fought me the whole time. And probably Sucks. But hey, at least I got it done! I hope it doesn't suck too bad for you guys, but if it really really does, go ahead and leave me some tips on places for improvement and I will gladly work on it. Lord knows I need help sometimes lol. I'm thinking I'll probably get another chapter done this week, since its a) gonna be in John's POV and b) its already mostly written up, so. Fingers crossed!

Anyways, hope you guys had a great weekend and have a good rest of your week!

cunning bird~