"Foxes"
Lucy ran through the barrier, she kept on running down the rocks and not even knowing how, she stopped at the very spot where she previosly had breakfast with Sylvester. Until then, she didn't really feel tired, her heart was bumping fast and loud, but the movement and the rush were hardly the reasons. She sat on the stone for a quick rest and tried to get together with her thoughts. The White Witch alive. Jadis. Alive. In a secret, hidden place. Was it a dream? Would she now wake up in the camp and tell Peter how strange, ridiculous dream she had? And he would tell her not to worry and he would assure her how he, and Edmund, and Susan, also had nightmares about the past. Edmund especially. He would frown and admit he had another one, about the White Witch turning them all into a stone. He would remind his war injuries and his guilt. And then, he would go silent or change the subject.
'I promised her I won't tell.' She reminded herself. Was she going to keep that promise? And if the White Wi... if Jadis was playing with her like she had done with Edmund before? Lucy felt however that somehow things were different now. She didn't feel in danger. Still, her mind refused to believe it. What she was supposed to tell the others now? How could she hide her adventure? 'I cannot lie.' She was whispering inaudibly. 'I cannot lie.'
Lucy needed time to calm down and think, but most of all, to find someone to talk to. But who? And then she smiled. The foxes! She reminded the family of foxes she had met in the woods the other day. She was sure that their "party" was in the very place she just left. 'They will tell me more.' This thought brought a great relief to her confused mind. Yes. Above all, she needed to know more. About the White... about Jadis. Lucy corrected herself.
This time she didn't spend the night in the mountains, neither she met anybody on the way. The excitement gave her so much speed that the sky was still bright when she reached the woods. The villagers kept their word and provided food, blankets and the other kinds of help to their neighbours. Now they welcomed her sincerely, amazed by her quick return. She told them that the animals had apparently escaped to the far North and, according to a Talking Fox she had met, they found their ways to avoid the giants. It was all truth after all.
That night, after she went to bed, she found herself staring at the ceiling for hours and seeing another room in her mind. With the pure, white, icy yet not cold walls. And she seemed to smell a gentle, flowery aroma from the bathtube. A similar perfume-like scent to the one coming from Jadis herself. She took a deep breath and shuddered, realising it must have been another trick of her mind. Yet, no matter how much she tried, whenever she closed her eyes, she could only see Jadis. Jadis sleeping peacefully with two, white bunnies snuggling to her. Jadis carresing the white fox surrounding her neck. "Not the tail! Always fluffing the tail." Lucy couldn't refrain a wide smile at that particular memory. Jadis smiling, or waking her up with a gentle voice. Finally, Lucy feel asleep. This time there was no wall in her dream. The only thing she could remember in the morning was the feeling of softness coming of lying in a white, shining snow.
She woke up well rested and refreshed. Her horse that had previously returned from the mountains by itself (it wasn't one of the Talking Horses, Lucy seldom rode on those) now awaited her and without any problems she hurried back to Peter's camp.
"It's good to see you, my queen," her brother greeted her formally, but after a moment he grinned and hugged her. "I trust your journey was fruitful? You look bright as a beam of sunshine."
"We could definitely use one of those." Lucy smiled back, gazing at the clouded sky. They sat together and talked about the last few days. It appeared, Peter's troops hunted the giant for the entire day and night, until the creature fled towards Ettinsmoor. Nobody saw it anymore and now they wondered how can they secure the border in order to prevent such events from happening again.
"We shall stay here and you ought to come back to the castle," he concluded.
"Shall I return alone? Leaving all the fighters with you? Is that safe?"
Peter rose his eybrow in a surprise. "Are you afraid of any other danger crossing our borders?"
To her frustration, Lucy felt her cheeks blush, realising who must have put these thoughts to her mind. She took a deep breath. "Danger can always come. We should be aware of that. And now, when you are here, Edmund and Susan are visiting Archenland, I want to have my own troops and train with them. Isn't it one of my duties as the queen after all?"
Peter shook his head and refrained a smile. Lucy was so unlike Susan! "Very well," he replied. "You have my allowance. Do as you please."
"Thank you, brother!" She hugged him again.
On the way back she turned to the meadow with a beautiful willow tree she remembered from her last trip. This time she went directly to the familiar hole in the ground and leaned over.
"Hello? Is anybody there? Please, I very much need to speak with you!"
Lucy heard some ruffling inside and a red nose, followed by the rest of the Fox Mother's head sticked out. "Who, what, oh... Queen Lucy! What a surprise!"
"Forgive me this intrusion," she apologised seeing the anxiety she had apparently caused.
"Not at all, Your Majesty, not at all," she tucked two curious, little noses back inside.
"Now, finish your dinner first, than you can play outside," she ordered and stepped before the door, closing them thoroughly behind. Well, the door actually was a big piece of a fallen tree, but it fitted perfectly.
"I was in the mountains," Lucy started. She didn't know how to make sure that she was right about them, so she decided the safest way to find that out would be to ask them if they knew a silver fox named Sylvester. Soon, her question was answered. The Mother Fox looked around carefully, as if she wanted to double check if they are not heard by anyone and looked in Lucy's eyes very long and intensely. And then, she opened the door and showed her to go inside. The hole was a little bit too low for a human, so Lucy had to crawl in. But it was all fine and comfortable when she sat on the floor. The Foxes' house was cozy like the Beavers' home, just smaller. Lucy saw pieces of dry meat and delicious looking, various kinds of cheese on little wooden shelves. Dirty plates were still on the table as the little ones just had finished their eating and big, soft pillows lay on the floor by the fire place - she thought it was definitely a happy house.
"Of course we know Sylvester!" Fox Mother finally said. "But you musn't talk about it out loud. The trees are listening."
Strangely, that warning reminded her another scene, from long ago. Who said that to her? Mr Tumnus! Yes, it was Mr Tumnus. He used to warn her about the trees. But in those times he meant the other trees. Now it was all opposite. She shivered. It all was so strange.
"I know you have found the snow. I can see it in your eyes," she added.
"Please, tell me more," Lucy asked eagerly.
"Well, see, Sylvester is the cater cousing of my husband's brother. His mother lived in the neighbourhood during the Winter Times. She had a truly silver fur, it looked amazing!"
"The queen doesn't want to hear about our aunt, dear. She wants to know about the other queen."
Lucy jumped on her pillow. Fox Father was sitting in the corner and she didn't notice him until now.
"Yes, the queen, of course." The Fox Mother poured a hot water to the tea cup and handled it to Lucy. Who almost dropped it on the floor, holding her breath in waiting.
"Well, we don't know much," she added simply. "She is good now, that's all what matters. We are not holding a grudge you know? Everybody can change."
"But what happened that she did? If she did." Lucy couldn't hide her disappointment.
"You have every right to doubt. But I think you already know the answer. In your heart." Lucy felt the soft touch of the Fox Mother's pawn on her chest. She told them about her time in the Sanctuary and they seemed very excited when she got to the part about staying in Jadis' home for the night.
"Oh, you met the old Tom? He is truly obsessed with his tail, I tell you. A few weeks before, as we were on his Birthday party, he..."
Mother Fox told her about their own trip, how their had a picnic in the middle of the frozen lake and performed a dance that drew even the queen's attention. And how one of her children threw a snow ball directly at Jadis and how she laughed and got persuaded to join them for supper.
"Do you know where is this place exactly?"
"Far North. The farthest you can imagine. Or rather, no one can. She likes the snow."
'There is no doubt in that,' thought Lucy.
But the Foxes didn't tell her much more than sharing stories of their time in the Sanctuary. They were trustful, easygoing and faithful. A little bit like Beavers, or Hedgehogs. They didn't worry about magic or possible danger, taking the world as it was, not thinking about the past or the future. And now, clearly, they were happy and enjoying themselves. She wondered how they got to Jadis's realm. It must have meant they indeed didn't feel any hatred towards the former Narnia queen. Which led to another question. How come Lucy felt this way?
'Why me?' She kept asking herself. Now when she was forced to think about it, she realised that indeed, she never hated Jadis. To be honest, she didn't put a lot of thought to it, either. She met her only briefly, as a little child, was afraid of her, yes, but it was Edmund in danger that time. She simply didn't know enough to hate the White Witch, as you don't really hate the monsters of your childhood nightmares, although you're scared of them. And when you grow up, sometimes you read the fairy tales again and start to wonder, why the monsters were so scary. Or so bad. Or maybe they have not always been bad. Or maybe they can change? In those old times they were all scared of the battle. And then, there were dead bodies all around and she had to run between them with her healing cordial. At that time Lucy didn't have much time to think at all. She was too busy controlling her shaking hands and too scared of the lion telling her to hurry up. But was that enough to lure her to the hidden land? Lucy felt there was more mystery behind it, a mystery that no one could explain to her, but Jadis herself. But she even didn't know how to get there again. Would the gate in the mountains open for her alone, if she would come back there? She couldn't go now and check. And wasn't really sure if she wanted to. She thanked the foxes for their hospitality and decided to give herself more time for any decisions. Not stopping anymore, she rode straight to Cair Paravel.
