Twenty years prior...

"Stop movin' around! I can't move th'latch if you're wobblin'!"

"It's not m'fault that yer butt weighs like 500 stones, fatty!"

"Shut up! I'm almost there, just a bit more—"

"Why'm I the one on the bottom 'nyways? Shouldn't I be standin' on yer shoulders, since yer bigger than me?"

"Well, I'm the only one that knows how to unlock the damn thing!"

If anyone were paying attention, the humorous sight of two eight-year-old boys in patchwork Crimson Blade uniforms (a scrawny one with haphazardly chopped tufts of brown hair and amber eyes, while the other was rotund with excess baby fat and had an awful bowl cut that could've only been done by an angry woman's hands) struggling to unlatch the small window above the back door into the women's mercenary barracks would've been a sight to see.

As it was, the scrawnier one was holding up the bigger boy on his shoulders and was clearly straining underneath the weight.

"Almost…. almost…"

"Hurry up! I can't–"

"AND WHAT DO YOU BOYS THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

The scrawnier boy jumped at the shout and sent both of them crashing back to the ground. The bigger boy was unlucky enough to slam his face into the door handle on the way down, losing one of his front baby teeth in the process.

Behind them, a twenty-something and newly-promoted Captain Aodhan stood with his arms crossed against his chest and an exasperated glare that he saved for only these two particularly troublesome imps.

"Uhm…"

"We were just…"

The two boys got to their feet and shuffled a bit to look slightly guilty. The bigger kid glanced at the other one for a brief second before turning tail and taking off at a speed that probably shouldn't have been possible for a child who was that fat.

The scrawnier kid followed right on the other boy's heels, laughing as they almost tripped and crashed into some inattentive mercenaries that were just leaving the Inn. The curious heads of four other children – one with black hair slicked back into a remarkably mature style, another with long and soft blonde locks, one more with groomed maroon strands tied back into a ponytail, and the last with flaming red hair crammed underneath a hat – popped out from behind an open window of the Inn to watch the two boys run straight for the general store.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!"

"NEVERRR!"


Captain Aodhan ran his hand across his face, thanked the Goddess that he and his wife had been blessed with two young daughters, and then followed after the screaming boys at a leisurely pace. This marked the third time he'd found Gallagher and Kain trying to sneak into the women's barracks, and he had yet to find an appropriate punishment to give to two obstinate eight-year-old orphans that would make the lesson stick.

More weapons training? Those kids were already almost too swing-happy with their ridiculous wooden swords.

Kitchen duty? They'd just squirrel food away for later, those little shits.

In the distance, Captain Aodhan saw two mercenaries on patrol around the edge of town haul up the wriggling boys over their shoulders as if they were little more than bags of flour. With the volume of the goblin-like shrieking the two were emitting, it was a miracle that everyone in town hadn't gone deaf yet.

"Sir!" The two mercenaries jogged over to where he was standing, and both had wicked grins on their faces as tiny fists and feet beat ineffectively against their chestplates. "We have the culprits of the peeping attempts in custody. What should we do with them?"

Captain Aodhan had an idea suddenly bloom in his mind – the one task that every mercenary absolutely hated, but it was a necessary evil.

"Send them out to the Perilous Ruins, I'm having them dig field latrines for a week or so. If I feel they've learnt their lesson, I'll let them come back." Captain Aodhan frowned seriously at the two wide-eyed and gaping boys. "You two want to be Crimson Blades that badly? Well, here's your first assignment and punishment, all rolled into one neat package."

The boys looked at each other for a moment before turning back to Captain Aodhan and opening their mouths in unison.

"It's all his fault—"

"Nuh uh, it's all Gally's idea—"

"He made me d—"

"I didn't want t—"

Captain Aodhan waved at the two smirking mercenaries in casual dismissal and headed for the Inn, since he felt that could use a drink right about now. The two mercs saluted the best they could while holding two wriggling kids and marched off, deaf to their wailing shouts.