Reclamation, n.: claim, conversion, improvement, rescue, redemption, recovery. The recovery of useful substances from waste products.

Chapter One

Spilled milk. I mean, it wasn't spilled milk. Unless you counted a sugarier, more frozen version commonly known as ice cream as spilled milk, then sure, it was spilled milk. The thing you shouldn't cry over. And I couldn't get it out of my head. I'm sure I'm wearing actual rivets into the linoleum flooring, but Sandy has given up trying to make me sit down and wait like everyone else in the waiting room. I'm sure my mascara-smeared tear tracks aren't doing me any favors. I just can't believe I was so stupid as to forget today. After counting down all year, I forgot. Lissa didn't. Obviously. But I did. And now all I can think about is stupid, fucking spilled milk. Or ice cream. Whatever. I know for a fact it is currently melting all over our living room floor. And then it's going to stick and it'll be impossible to clean and I swear Liss, if you don't make it out of this I refuse to clean it up. Hardwood floors be damned.

So yes, spilled milk. Because fixating on sticky ice cream I most likely will never clean is better than thinking about my actual situation. The one where I left my best friend alone because she said she wanted ice cream only to come home and find her passed out on the bathroom floor. Blood everywhere. Plus empty pill bottles. Don't ask me how it's possible. But it's Lissa, so I know it is.

The hairs on the back of my neck prickle and instinct takes over as I duck and spin to meet…a death glare from Sandy, the night nurse on duty. I sag into the chair she's been wanting me to occupy for the better part of three hours, more out of relief than obedience, though I refuse to acknowledge said relief. For personal reasons. Denial being one of them. Also, I need to focus on Lissa rather than my own demons.

Damn it. I glance at the clock again, wondering not for the first time if it was broken, and stare at the double doors Dr. Mercer took Lissa through earlier, simultaneously willing them to open and praying that they won't. I wasn't allowed back there. I've never been allowed back there.

This has all happened before, so you'd think I'd have the routine down by now. Know what to expect and all that. But I don't. I think I'd start to worry if I did. I don't know, if today weren't that day, the day we never talk about but is always present – the freaking planet in the room – then maybe I wouldn't be as worried. But it is and I am. How could I be so fucking stupid? How could I forget?

Oh Liss, I am so so sorry.

I resume pacing. Sitting sucks and my legs won't stop bouncing up and down and I swear that the hospital clock is broken. It's never taken them this long before. She needs blood and her stomach pumped. That's it. Then we can go home. I found her in time.

Right?

Right. Everything is going to be okay.

I keep this up for hours, feeling like Monk in the episode when he found out his psychologist was retiring. Going through all the stages of grief every five minutes. It's exhausting and yet I can't sleep. Won't. Can't.

Eventually Sandy leaves for home as Cheryl comes in for her shift. Sandy runs her hand down my arm and I do my best not to flinch. Cheryl nods her hello and hides her sympathy well. I can still see it, but at least the coffee she offers me is out of understanding instead of pity. I've always liked Cheryl best of all the night shift nurses.

God. I should not be able to say that.

"When?" Is all she asks.

"Nine thirty." I answer. It comes out as more of a croak and I clear my throat. After hours of silence and hardly any fluids, it's no wonder I'm hoarse. I run my fingers through my messy bun and more brown tendrils fall around my face. I'm sure it's shining with grease by now but I don't care.

Why won't those doors open?

Cheryl's neutral façade cracks and I can tell she's asking herself the same question. "It's almost six," she murmurs, I think to herself but I nod anyway. "They haven't come out at all?"

"No." I refuse to elaborate, to give credence to my fears, and Cheryl takes the hint and walks back to her reception desk. The hospital will be opening soon.

Another day is about to dawn in Storybrooke, Maine.

Maybe Lissa was right all those months ago. Maybe we should never have come here.

"Kahlan." Cheryl's voice reaches me through the fog and I bolt upright in my chair. Afternoon light spills through the hospital windows. I take it in as I look around, remembering where I am, and shudder, shaking off the beginnings of that dream. Hands reaching for me in the dark, his hands, are not what I need to be thinking about right now.

Dr. Mercer was walking through the doors.

"Dr. Mercer!" I scramble to my feet, still wondering how I wound up curled up in my seat to begin with, and rush over to him. "How's Lissa?"

"We're still working on her," he tells me, face giving nothing away. Damn doctors and their poker faces. Seeing my protest, he holds up a hand. "Trust me, Kahlan, this is the first chance I've gotten to come see you. Lissa's body is very weak and it's given out on us several times. We haven't given up and we're doing all that we can do. I promise. I'll give you an update just as soon as I am able."

"She's still alive?" The question is out of my mouth before I can pull it back. I hate the way my voice wavers.

"Yes, Kahlie, she's still alive. She's holding on for you, just like you asked as we rushed her back last night. Okay?"

I nod and take a deep breath. The doctor reaches out to squeeze my shoulder, but I jerk back, the dream and its memories still too close. Dr. Mercer's eyebrows constrict in worry, but he knows better by now than to push with questions.

"I'll be back out as soon as I can," he says instead. Those damn double doors swing shut behind him and I sigh, resigned at last.

Leg one of the wait game is over. Now all they have to do is wake Lissa up and we can go home.

Please oh please wake up, Liss. I can't do this without you.

I find myself wondering whether True Love's Kiss could do more than just wake Lissa up, and then snort at the thought. I've been spending too much time with—

"Hi Kahlie, what's so funny?"

Speak of the precious little devil.

I plaster a smile on my face and turn to the boy suddenly appeared beside me. "Hi Henry. Oh nothing, I was just thinking about your book. What're you doing in the hospital? Is everything okay?"

A big grin darts across Henry Mills' face. "Oh yeah! Emma and I were on an Operation Cobra mission. She wanted to call it Operation Pumpkin because it had to do with Cinderella. Well, she's Ashley here, but she's really Cinderella. Anyway we were finding her for Mr. Gold when she went into labor! Emma brought her here and now's she's having her baby and wants to keep it! So Emma's talking to Mr. Gold now so Ashley can keep her baby."

Leave it to Henry Mills to brighten dark days. "That's fabulous news, Henry." But the smile that escaped my lips suddenly turns down. "But didn't Ashley have a deal with Mr. Gold? I heard you couldn't back out of a deal with him once you signed a contract." Lissa and I have kept as low a profile as possible since moving to Storybrooke. We learned early on that Mr. Gold was the one person in town you wanted to avoid. It's been eight months since we moved here and neither of us have had one confrontation with the man. I hope we never do. I've had enough frightening men in my life to last me a couple lifetimes.

"But Emma's the savior. If anyone can change his mind, it's gonna be her."

I smile ruefully at the blind faith the boy has in his birth mother. "You're right, kid. If anyone can do it, Emma can."

"Is Lissa okay?" Henry asks.

I cock my head as I look into his eyes, considering what to say. Both Lissa and I babysat Henry for months before Regina fired first Lissa then me a few months later. But Henry and I have remained close. Probably because I was the first one to take him seriously about his Fairy Tale theories. Not that I believe them, but I know what it's like to feel absolutely convinced of something and have no one believe you. So I believe him. And now, because of our shared viewpoint, so does Emma. And because of all of that, I know I can't lie to Henry. Not about this.

But I don't have to give him all the gory details either. "No, she's not okay, Henry. She had a really hard night last night."

Henry wraps his arms around my neck and squeezes tight. "She'll be okay," he whispers with absolute certainty.

I hold Henry closer and rein in the wave of emotions threatening to crash. Three and a half words from one precious boy and I can't function.

"Thank you, Henry," I whisper back as I release him. I just don't tell him what I fear is true.

"Kahlan?" Emma's voice is gentle as she crouches down beside Henry. "Have you seen her yet?"

I give my friend a lop-sided smile, unsure of whether to be grateful that Emma never seems to need to ask what happened or to fall apart in tears because Emma never seems to need to ask what happened. "Not yet," I say instead. "I brought her in last night around nine thirty. They've been working on her ever since."

"You'll survive this, Kahlan. Whatever the outcome."

"Yeah, and we'll help!" Henry chimes in.

I can't help the grin that flits across my face. But I'm so tired of surviving. Is that really all there is? And surviving my nightmares without Liss? Not even Emma can help me with those. And she's the only one in this crazy town, besides my best friend, with a truly troubled past who has any hope of understanding mine. But chasing away the things I can't escape? Of that I'm not so sure.

"Thanks, guys," I say. Because regardless of the outcome, regardless of what they can or can't do, they're here and they're trying and it's more than what most people will do.

Henry smiles broadly, looking back and forth between us and launches into a more detailed description of Operation Pumpkin. He still refuses to reveal his own name for this latest Cobra mission on the grounds that Emma is still not ready to hear it, but I have a pretty good idea of what it might be. From his standpoint, this mission was all about convincing a mom to keep her child. He had no doubt Emma would find Ashley, so his objective would have been to convince Emma to convince Ashley to keep her family together. I highly doubt Emma would have taken too well to something like Operation Mom. But Henry's always been smart like that.

"Do you think Sean will come see Ashley and the baby?" Henry asks Emma as he finishes his story.

"Who knows, kid. If he can get out from under his father's thumb, then maybe."

"It'll be a real happy ending! Cinderella and Prince Thomas finally being reunited!"

"Henry—" Emma begins, wariness in her voice.

"You're absolutely right," I finish for her, ignoring the glare my friend sends my way. "And this town deserves one, doesn't it?"

Henry nods and opens his mouth to continue when his eyes flit to something behind me. I turn and see Dr. Mercer walking through the doors again. His gait is slow and his eyes weary. My head starts to shake back and forth as my stomach plummets. I'm not ready for this.

I'll never be ready.

"She's alive," Dr. Mercer tells me as he gets closer. My sigh of relief nearly puts me back in my seat and I wipe at the stray tear on my cheek. "And she seems to be stabilizing."

"When can I see her?"

"Now. It's why I'm here. I came to get you."

I'm up and gathering my things when I hear his beeper sound.

"Shit." The curse slips out as he looks up at me. "I'm sorry, Kahlan, that's Lissa. I'll be back as soon as I can." Dr. Mercer gives me one last look, his vizier finally cracking enough for me to grasp the seriousness of my friend's situation.

"Let me come back with you, please," I beg, my legs starting to tremble.

Dr. Mercer carefully places one hand on my shoulder, slow enough that instincts don't kick in. "You don't want to see this part, Kahlie. If I can save her, I'll come get you."

"But it'll be to say goodbye." It's not a question, hardly a statement. Just one girl recognizing she won't be going home with the girl she's always considered her sister.

Shit is right.

"Just wait right here." And then he's gone.

Three pairs of arms wrap around me as my legs give way and they guide me back to my chair.

I look up to see Emma pull Mr. Gold away from me with a warning in her eyes, giving me room. Henry just hugs me as tight as he can, doing the only thing he knows to do to help me through. I hold on tight and fight the tears. She's not gone yet. She's not gone yet. Please don't be gone yet.

Emma crouches down in front of me with a sad smile. "She'll hold on for you, Kahlan. You'll get back there and talk to her and—"

"I don't want to hear it, Emma," I snap. "She's not coming out of this."

Henry stiffens at the tone of my voice and I feel him look up at me, can practically sense the confusion and fear on his face. But what's the point in sugar-coating things anymore? Lissa lost the will to live. She couldn't take the guilt anymore, the reality of her life. Henry should know that, needs to understand that life isn't a fairy tale. That good doesn't always win. That people don't always find each other. That family doesn't always get to stay together. That sometimes, the family you're given becomes your worst nightmare. That—

"…perhaps this isn't the best environment for the boy?" His quiet, soft lilt reaches through my spiraling thoughts and snaps my eyes to his face. How do I know that voice? He and I have never interacted. How do I know you?

Emma nods and reaches for Henry. "Come on, Henry. I've got to get you home."

"What? No! I have to stay here with Kahlan. For Lissa."

I plaster a comforting smile on my face and turn to face the boy, consciously softening my voice for his benefit. "I'll be here for Lissa. And I'll be going back soon and I'll tell her that you're waiting for her to get better, too. I promise."

Henry relaxes at my promise, but still asks, "But I thought you said she wasn't getting better?"

"I know. I'm sorry I scared you. I got scared and lashed out and that was unfair of me." I look towards Emma and she's already smiling, giving me the nod that tells me all is well. I put my brave face on and look back down at Henry. "I don't know what's going to happen, but I promise you everything will be okay. Alright? So go home with Emma before your mom suspects anything and I'll see you tomorrow."

I gently push Henry to his feet and Emma takes his hand. "Come on kid, let's go." She sends one final glance my way, a silent question and I smile back. It's small and entirely fake on my end because of course I'm not okay on my own, but there's nothing I can do. Henry is the only thing keeping Emma here and I've decided to be selfish and refuse to jeopardize that fragile stability. Basically, if it keeps Emma here, I'll do it.

I studiously ignore Mr. Gold and watch Emma and Henry walk down the corridor and begin to wonder what that sight would have looked like a few years down the road with Lissa had she not gotten the abortion. The telltale creak of the chair next to me notifies me that Mr. Gold didn't leave.

One deep breath in and I'm under control. He can't make me do anything I don't want to.

And for some reason, deep down, I know he wouldn't even consider it.

Which goes against everything I've ever heard about this guy.

The beast in a suit and tie.

I face him. And am struck by his eyes. Caramel eyes that burn and question, so deep I'm sure he doesn't even know how much he's buried, and there's an openness about them I feel certain he doesn't mean to show. It's like in this moment he's vulnerable and I can't help but respond. Because somehow, some way, I know those eyes and the soul within them.

No.

No.

No.

Pull yourself together and shut it off. You know what happens next. He taught you well. You think this man is any different? He's known as the devil of this town. Don't hang around to find out differently, or worse to be proven right. You finally got free. Don't lose that by falling into some deal with him. He can't save you. And he can't save Lissa.

My little pep talk has me squaring my shoulders and steeling my gaze as I sweep over the rest of him. He's not an impressive male specimen to say the least, and I staunchly ignore that traitorous thought that swoons over his hair, his mouth, his damn eyes, his hands, and fuck alright fine. He's attractive and I think if I weren't so damaged I would consider— no. Damn it. Stop.

I face away from Mr. Gold and watch the double doors instead, waiting for Dr. Mercer to appear. There's a thing about monkeys, right? Out of sight, out of mind? Oh. No, it's monkey see, monkey do. Okay, so staying clear of monkeys then. Maybe it's dogs. That saying. I've always wanted a dog. They're loyal and protective and love you no matter what. Maybe I can ask Lissa if we should get a dog.

And then I remember I'm probably going home alone.

"Is there a cure for this?"

I don't realize I've voiced the question until Mr. Gold responds. "I'm sorry?"

I glance over at him sheepishly, barely allowing myself to meet his gaze. "Nothing. You're Mr. Gold, right? I'm Kahlan. Kahlan Pierce."

Gold offers me a slight smile. "It's nice to meet you, Kahlan. I'd like to—that is, is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Turn back time?" I ask as I run my hands through my messy bun again. I blow my bangs out of my eyes, and quite honestly I'm surprised there is hair still tied back.

"A little beyond my powers nowadays, my dear, I'm sorry."

A chuckle escapes my lips. "Well thanks for trying.

"Kahlan," he begins, but I'm cutting him off before I know it, needing an answer this time.

"Is there a remedy to this, Mr. Gold?" And this time, my eyes latch onto his, searching for something I don't even know, but begging for the answer.

"A remedy to what?" He breathes out.

"For life. For all of this. Is there a cure to make it stop? Some sort of magical remedy?" Please oh please oh please.

Regret enters those caramel eyes. "I'm afraid I'm all out of magic, my dear."

I shake my head, smiling slightly to hide disappointment I shouldn't be feeling. I steel myself once again. "I'm sorry. You don't need to be party to this, to be burdened with my life. Or my friend's."

Mr. Gold begins to reach out to be and pauses in midair when I stiffen. I keep my body still, but let my eyes travel to meet his again. Mr. Gold let's his hand drop, but says. "It is no burden, truly. And if it's all the same to you, I'd like to stay until your friend is alright."

Mary Margaret, Emma, even the Mayor have told me tales of the infamous Mr. Gold. There's a reason everyone in town fears him. He's all about power and doesn't care who he hurts so long as he gets his way. He makes deals that seem to go in your favor until he extracts his price. He's smart, insincere, and damn near vengeful if you fight him.

But this moment, here, between the two of us, I would swear on my life he's never meant anything more than what he just told me. Which is why I respond the way I do instead of the way I should. With the truth.

"You'll be waiting a long time, then, Mr. Gold."

"And why is that?"

"Because she's not getting better this time." I look back down at my hands, suddenly second guessing my choice vulnerability. Mr. Gold's silence only serves to stir the nerves in my stomach. Why won't the damn man speak? And why do I want him to speak? He's dangerous, remember?

See this is why I steer clear of the male species.

"May I ask why?" Mr. Gold's quiet voice breaks through my spiraling thoughts.

Surprised, I glance up at him, studying his eyes. "You seriously don't know?" He shakes his head and his eyes remain clear. "I thought being Mr. Gold meant you knew everything." And I should want to keep it that way.

"You'll have to forgive my ignorance, Ms. Pierce, but I assure you it's genuine."

I keep my voice quiet, hoping it won't shake as I ask, "And is your sudden interest so sincere?" I'm terrified to learn the answer. Only, I can't decide if I'm more terrified to find he wants to use me, because been there, done that, or to find that he truly cares. Because that's something I've only found once before and I'm still not sure what to think.

Gold leans back in his chair and studies me, the space allowing me to breathe a little easier. I didn't realize we'd moved closer together. Not sure what to make about that either. I've always been aware of my space bubble.

"I gather you and your friend are more used to assumption than questions. Allow me to assure you, Ms. Pierce, that prior to today I did not know you lived. I was simply trying to make polite conversation."

I search his eyes and find them clear and steady, filled with a quiet strength and hope. It's that last one that makes me sigh. "I'm sorry, Mr. Gold. We may not be related by blood, but Lissa is the only family I've got now. We—she hasn't had an easy life and people in this small town don't understand us."

His eyes have shifted and I really should look away, but to me they're mesmerizing. Caramel eyes, liquefied into a dark brown, now peer down at me with remorse. Which irks me to no end because I don't need anyone's pity, and I open my mouth to tell him such which the remorse is pushed back and fear enters them instead.

That one I'm familiar with. Only it's not fear of me, but fear for me.

And he's facing the doors.

"Kahlan?" Dread settles in my stomach as I stand and turn to meet Dr. Mercer. The thought flits across my mind that perhaps standing isn't the best decision when I read Dr. Mercer's face and my knees buckle. His green eyes are filled with such sorrow. Sorrow that hopes to understand mine since he's been there for us since we moved to Storybrooke. He was the one who performed the operation and he's been the one who's saved her ever since.

Strong hands steady my hips and I flinch away from the contact before I realize it. I ignore Mr. Gold's worried gaze and wrap my arms around myself. It's the best shield I can come up with at the moment. I can hear my heart thudding in my ears and I can't decide if I need to run or not. Tears well up as I push the panic back and I open my mouth. But I can't find the words. Well I can, but I can't find the strength to say them.

I try again. "Please, don't…don't tell me she's…" The tears spill over, cutting off my voice. Life without Lissa?

"I'm sorry, Kahlan, I'm so sorry, but you need to come say goodbye." His voice is soft, gentle.

"She's alive?" I croak.

"Only just. Her heart can't handle the drugs she took and she's taking longer and longer to respond to CPR. We can't keep shocking her like this, Kahlie."

I nod, resigned. "So goodbye really means…"

"Just on your end," Dr. Mercer nods. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I manage to say. My voice sounds dead even to me. Good, I don't need to feel for this next part. "Thank you for not giving up on her."

Dr. Mercer motions towards those double doors I've hated for the last several hours. I move to follow him but instead find myself turning to face Mr. Gold. I don't know what I'm looking for, but my heart tells me what my head fears. That I'll find it in him.

Slowly, so that I have time to relax my body, Mr. Gold reaches out and tilts my head up with a finger underneath my chin. "Look at me," he says softly, "You can do this."

"How do you know?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

"Because you already are."

Those four words and his slight smile are all I need and I press my chin into in finger as a silent thanks.

"Let me know if you need anything, my dear, if it is not to presumptuous of me to offer. I won't keep you." Mr. Gold turns to leave, but I grab his sleeve. All I know is he can't leave.

"Wait. I was…actually, if you don't mind…" I sigh, trying to find the words while simultaneously trying to swallow them. I peer back into his eyes and decide to throw caution to the wind. Past be damned, I know my instincts and the one good gift my father gave me was the ability to read people. And I know I can trust him. Even if I'm the only one who can. "I don't want to be alone for this."

A thousand emotions run across his face. Surprise, hope, fear, determination, and something I haven't seen before. He's silent for a few more moments and then, "You don't have to be. Lead the way."