Kaer Morhen was home and had been forever, but this is what he'd always wanted it to feel like.
Usually it was familiar but chaffing. The castle was enormous, but it often felt too small and Eskel really only felt normal when he was out on the path; hunting monsters, killing things. He still needed that, and a temporary lull in the weather that had Keira sending the two of them out to see if they could find a forktail was exhilarating. Strange thing was that it wasn't just the hunt he was looking forward to when they headed out at dawn.
It was coming home that excited him too. Usually, that was the worst part.
There was this weird thing - once the adrenaline wore off; the thrill of the chase was over and whatever he'd hunted was lying dead at his feet? He'd feel satisfied for a few minutes, sometimes an hour or two, but after that it would all fade into this grey bullshit that just made him want to get drunk as hell. It felt like a hangover without getting the pleasure of drinking first. He hated that feeling; that disappointed apathy that inevitably followed.
Somehow, he didn't think that would happen now.
It helped having a reason other than saving ungrateful strangers for a pouch of coin that would usually be gone even before that shitty feeling wore off again. He was hunting the Forktail for Maya. Lambert reminded him it was for Keira, so she could study the Forktail's parts. But Maya had been working with her, and he loved how happy it was making her. He didn't even completely understand what they were doing, but that didn't matter. He could already imagine coming back to her smiling face and it was worth it. It was worth the fact that it was really still too wet and cold to be out here and his boots were totally soaked through. It was worth it even though Lambert was bitching like a wet cat and smelled just as bad. It was worth it though they weren't going to make a coin unless the Forktail had swallowed one and they found it in the thing's belly.
Coin was nice, but it didn't make him happy.
Took all day to get the damn thing's attention. They had the goat staked out but the cold ozone smell of the melting snow seemed to mute the way the scent travelled. By the time the Forktail finally appeared on the horizon, Eskel swore that if Lambert didn't stop bitching about his wet feet and his cold ass he was going to feed him to a rock troll. But the familiar shape backlit by the orange glow of the evening sun shut him up quick.
"Fucking finally," Lambert bitched one last time before shifting his focus. Lambert might be a jackass, but he was good at what he did. Eskel heard the sound of Lambert's sword easing out of the sheath before he even bothered to move. Forktail was a ways off yet.
Eskel looked back at Lambert over his shoulder. He resisted the urge to make some sarcastic comment about getting his weapon out too quickly. Maybe they were both finally getting laid on the regular, but it had been a while since either of them had a shot at a monster. His palm was itching to have his sword in it too.
Winter was hard, even when it was the best winter in forever.
The beast drew closer, enticed by the bleating of the goat and hungry enough to not see the Witchers half concealed in the brush nearby. The only leaves were brown and dead but the twigs were thick enough to mostly hide them. A smarter creature wouldn't have been fooled, but thankfully Forktails were as stupid as drowners, only bigger and a lot harder to kill.
Eskel pulled his silver sword. The hilt fit comfortably into his hand, even as his brain unhelpfully supplied the memory of the last time he held it.
To Maya's throat, before dropping it into the bloody snow.
He shook his head. Later.
Branches broke, spray of soggy snow flipped up into the air as the Forktail ungracefully landed a few paces away from the goat. Lambert tugged a cord and set the goat free and insinuated himself in between the fleeing bleater and the Forktail's hunger. It growled at him. Bared his teeth. Eskel advanced on it until he was level with Lambert, their swords both reflecting the orange pink light of the sunset reflecting off the clouds.
"Come and get it you fucker," Lambert taunted, not that a Forktail was smart enough to be offended. It did not like the sound of his voice apparently and it lashed out with it's talons. Eskel's sword moved without even thinking about it, two toes and long claws tumbling down into the snow as the silver blade sliced into the Forktail as easy as feet sunk into the snow.
The Forktail screamed in agony.
The fight washed everything else away.
He felt Lambert's sign brush past him, heard the sizzle as a flame of Igni distracted the Forktail from the goat and it's missing toes and turned its attention back to them. Eskel rolled out of the way, flanking it. Forktails were dumber than dog shit, but that didn't make them not dangerous.
Eskel wrapped a shield of Quen around himself before charging in. His boots crunched on the damp snow, tufts of dead grass and mud flipping over in his footprints. With the Forktail distracted by Lambert's fire and cursing, Eskel was able to slip in close. His silver pierced the softer skin under the creature's wing before it realized he was even there. The blade sunk deep, carefully aimed between the ribs. Eskel jerked his arm and the silver sword tore down, scales flipping off and sticking to him, wet with blood. The Forktail jolted, shrieking in pain and he twisted the blade free, springing back just as it's forked tail whipped around and narrowly missed hitting him. It's keening wail cut off abruptly and it's head turned to him, teeth snapping instead and bubbles of pink froth gurgling up out of it's throat.
"Lambert, I hit the lung!" he shouted as Lambert circled into place. "It shouldn't be able to fly."
That was good and bad. Wild with panic, the beast wouldn't bother to protect itself. It would act erratically, exposing itself to anything but there was no telling what the hell it would do. They had to finish it quick before it got in an accidental lucky shot.
Lambert's face reminded him that he knew as well as Eskel did how dangerous a mortally wounded monster was, after countless lectures from Vesemir. Eskel was thankful the excitement of battle had blunted his feelings out of habit as the old man's face flashed through his head. That was the first time he'd thought about him without a pang of pain in his chest since it happened. It distracted him still, just long enough for blood from the thing's mouth to splatter on him when Lambert's sword sliced into the side of it's neck and it reared wildly.
Eskel dodged back, narrowly avoid getting scrapped by teeth. He flipped his sword in his hand and brought it down just as the head whipped passed him, the silver blade hitting the crook of its neck. The blade shuddered as it scrapped bone before finding the sweet spot between the base of it's skull and the top if its spinal cord, severing it neatly. With an uncoordinated twitch, the Forktail collapsed in a heap.
Lambert looked mildly disappointed. "That wasn't a fight," he groused. "Hardly got the blood pumping."
"Save your pumping for Keira," Eskel snarked back.
Lambert gave him a snide look, raising an eyebrow. "I like to keep all my weapons sharp."
Eskel couldn't even manage a smart reply. He was tired of talking about Lambert's dick. He'd been talking about it all day. The man could not shut up about Keira, but since he was as useless with this sort of thing as the rest of them, the best Lambert could do was talk about all the places he'd fucked her. Eskel wasn't going to encourage him to start up that litany again.
"Well, use one of your sharp weapons to get the heart and blood samples your Sorceress asked for so we can be done."
Lambert pulled his dagger from his belt without complaining, which was almost out of character already but then he paused, looking up with an utterly serious expression. That was eerie. Lambert took a breath and then with his foot, flipped the bulk on the Forktail on it's side. He hacked into the cartilage in the center of its ribcage without ceremony. He glanced up at Eskel again.
"When the snow melts," Lambert started, knife sawing. "What're you gonna do?"
It wasn't ever a question before. Eskel could only shake his head.
"Yeah," Lambert said, looking back down as he thrust his hand inside the Forktail. "I don't know either."
Eskel sheathed his sword, walking around the corpse just as Lambert yanked the heart out. He took the heart from Lambert and shoved it in a leather pouch, wiping blood off on his pants. Lambert stood after scooping some blood into a vial and tucking it into his belt. He looked at Eskel out of the corner of his eye.
"I don't know," Lambert said again, half muttering under his breath. "It shouldn't be a decision at all. Never thought I'd have to think about it. But I never wanted to be here in the first place. And now, maybe I don't have to be."
Eskel hadn't expected that. He knew Lambert's story; how his father was shit and how he was bitter about the whole thing. He got it. Becoming a Witcher was fucking unpleasant to say the least. But all his bitching aside, he never imagined Lambert would just walk away.
"Are you really just gonna stop being a Witcher?" Eskel was incredulous.
"Why the fuck not? I mean, I can get samples for Keira, I can kill stuff in my way, but if she does what she's after, I won't need to be a Witcher. There'll be enough coin." Lambert smirked. "And a lot more time for my other weapon."
Eskel grunted. His voice came out more harshly than he'd intended. "You really think she'll keep you around after you aren't useful anymore?"
"Sure." Lambert shrugged like he was blowing it off.. "Probably." He frowned and there was a dark look in his eyes. "Maybe. I mean, I love her. She says she loves me." He looked away, uncomfortable. He cleared his throat. "Yen keeps Geralt around."
"For now." Eskel gave Lambert a sideways look. "Besides, you aren't telling me you trust Yennefer, are you?"
"No." He shrugged again. "But I trust Keira, though it's probably completely stupid." He tried to laugh but it was forced at best. "Besides, I ain't the one fucking a vampire."
"And there it is." Eskel grimaced. He'd been waiting for it.
"There's what?"
"The part when you convince me to slice her up, right?"
Lambert frowned. "Are you always this paranoid?. I don't care who you screw or whatever. Just don't...don't fuck yourself up okay?"
"Aw Lambert, I didn't know you cared." Eskel sneered. He did not want to talk about this with Lambert. Hell, he didn't want to talk about it at all.
"Fuck you Eskel."
"Sorry, don't want any." Eskel looked pleased with himself and also with entirely avoiding the conversation. It was so easy to forget what Maya was when assholes weren't constantly reminding him. He just wanted to go back and bury his face in her hair and not think about it some more. In fact, he'd like to not think about anything permanently.
He wondered if there was a spell to make it Winter indefinitely.
Lambert rolled his shoulders. "Fine, let's go." He slipped his knife back into the scabbard on his belt as he turned back toward the path. Eskel followed without a word. Only the creak of his leather jacket and the crunch of their feet in the snow broke the silence. Instead of dealing with it, Eskel thought about how Maya smelled. He thought about how she made delicious bread and how she made potions and ointments that smelled terrible too. It made him smile. He thought about how incredible it felt waking up all these mornings with her curled up in the bed next to him.
As they reached the smooth rut of the path, Lambert looked back at Eskel over his shoulder abruptly pulling him out of the cozy memory and back into his sodden boots.. "You're still gonna to have to decide," he said. "It won't stay winter forever."
"I know." Eskel didn't say it even loud enough for Lambert to hear him.
How the hell could he possibly choose?
What is a Witcher if he's not a Witcher anymore? And what's more important; killing monsters or being happy? They didn't kill monsters because it was the right thing to do but they did it because they could. That was reason enough for a long time.
How long were they supposed to fight battles they could never win?
Eskel's boots dragged through the snow. The sunlight faded. A gust of breeze whistled through the bare branches. He shivered against the encroaching darkness, the cold taking grip. It might not be winter forever, but maybe it would still be winter tonight.
He was tired of thinking about things. He was tired of Lambert. He just wanted to get in bed with a bottle of vodka and her and to hell with everything else.
They slogged in through the portcullis, though at this point they could have walked in through any of ten points in the shattered wall. Eskel refused to think about that either. He grabbed the pouch from his belt and was going to give the Forktail heart to Lambert so he didn't even have to look at Keira when he heard the distinctive sound of a portal opening, the gold glow of Sorceress magic opening in the middle of the courtyard.
"Shit."
Instinctively, they both pulled their swords. Eskel dropped the pouch into the snow at his feet. With a shimmer of light, a hooded figure sauntered out of the portal and it closed behind her. The woman lifted her head and pushed back her hood, eying the naked swords with a sardonic smile. Her long black curls tumbled down over her back. Even in the darkness, her violet eyes were brilliant.
"Eskel. Lambert," Yennefer's voice was controlled and soft. She smiled faintly again. "You can put those away." She tucked her hair behind her ear and stretched. "Geralt will be along shortly. You know how he feels about portals." Without another word she turned and headed for the door.
"Good to see you too Yennefer," Lambert shouted at her back. Then under his breath he muttered, "Bitch."
"I heard that Lambert," she said, stopping on the stairs. Yennefer turned back, her face still cool and neutral. "Speak your mind as you wish. It doesn't suit you to whisper."
Lambert opened his mouth and closed it again like a fish. Yennefer disappeared through the door.
"Fuck me like a pretty goat," Lambert groused.
Eskel swallowed hard. He sheathed his sword and plucked the pouch out of the snow. Blood had seeped through the leather and there was a round stain of blood where it lay. He kicked muddy snow over it. He handed the pouch to Lambert.
"Take it. At least Keira will be happy." Lambert took it, nodding absently and not really looking at him.
He looked up at the towers of Kaer Morhen, jutting up into the dark blue of the sky. There were dozens of windows but almost all of them were dark. There was one with a light in it flickering brightly in the growing darkness. It was the stairway that led to the room he shared with Maya. A lantern burned in the window to light the stairs.
Eskel looked down and his hand was stained with Forktail blood.
Winter was over.
