Eskel stood in the snow, staring up at the door for entirely longer than was reasonable.

Yennefer and Geralt's return was as inevitable as the changing seasons, but it was one thing to know it and another to accept it. He wasn't good at this. Feelings, decisions...those weren't things Witchers were supposed to need to do. As wrong as the propaganda usually was about them, there was some truth to it like in all the best lies. The mutations and the training did it's best to stamp out their individuality.

Vesemir had helped them hang on to some of what made them men, but he could only do so much. But it felt like an excuse as he stood there, his toes turning to ice in his boots, the damp wind making his scars sting. He'd never made choices on his own before because he didn't have to. He was the reliable one; the rational one, the rule follower.

Geralt was the rule breaker. Lambert was the one who pushed against the grain. He was steady, stable, stick-up-his-ass Eskel who did what he was told and never took chances.

He shifted his feet, hearing the crunch of the slushy snow under his feet. He rubbed his fingers together, the sticky residue of blood balling up and flaking off his skin.

What the fuck was he going to do?

The door and the bare stone walls didn't have any answers.

Sighing, he made his way up the slope and pushed his way through the door, the warm air hitting him with the cloying scent of perfume. No one seemed to notice him come in, attention focused on Yennefer. Her voice wasn't loud, but it carried.

"Certainly, it won't change everyone's opinions immediately, but are you surprised that she would offer?" Yennefer's back was to him. She flipped the length of her black curls over her shoulder. "It seems foolish not to consider it."

Lambert grunted. "It sounds like a trap."

Eskel could practically hear Yennefer roll her eyes at him. Keira didn't comment, her elbows on the table, looking up at Yennefer passively. She did glance up at Lambert but without expression. Usually he found Maya with Keira but she was conspicuously absent.

"Don't be idiotic," Yennefer retorted, still either not noticing or not acknowledging him. Keira looked up, as well as Lambert, who gave him an irritated look. "I'm not suggesting you relocate to Redania." Yennefer continued.

"At least Radovid was up front about wanting to exterminate us," Lambert groused.

Yennefer threw up her hands. "You're impossible as always. I'll let Geralt discuss it with you. He should be here tomorrow morning at the latest, unless he gets distracted by something shiny."

"Or tits," Lambert muttered under his breath. Yennefer didn't dignify him with a reply. She knew how Geralt was. She also knew he always came back to her in the end. It didn't seem to matter to her in the big scheme of things, but that didn't mean she wasn't jealous. Her annoyance was more potent than the scent of lilacs and gooseberries. With a swirl of black and white skirts she turned and practically floated out into the hallway towards Geralt's room at the top of the tower.

Eskel moved woodenly towards the table as Yennefer disappeared. It was better that way. He didn't trust her. Was pretty sure he never would.

Where the hell was Maya?

Lambert leaned over, slapping his palms on the rough surface of the table. He grunted at Eskel as he got closer. "You missed the fun." His expression was the exact opposite of amused.

Eskel raised his eyebrows. "Apparently. What was that about?" He jerked his thumb in the direction Yennefer went. Lambert made a face but didn't reply.

Keira sighed musically. "Let's just wait for Geralt shall we? Before either you have a fit and make a rash decision?" She put her hand on Lambert's forearm and he relaxed just slightly. Someone without a Witcher's senses probably wouldn't have noticed. Keira probably couldn't even tell, but Eskel saw it. It was sweet.

He mentally slapped himself.

Lambert nodded, his head hanging. He looked over at Keira. "Right. He's an idiot, but I trust him more than Yennefer anyway."

Keira carefully didn't reply. Eskel knew she was as treacherous as Yennefer but Lambert seemed to have forgotten that. But Eskel really wasn't in a position to judge.

"Where's Maya?"

"In the lab," Keira said, her fingers still flexing on Lambert's arm. "She thought it best to stay out of sight for a bit. Yennefer can be rash. Unlikely she'd realize what Maya was unless we told her of course, but better safe than sorry."

Eskel swallowed. It was always going to be like that, wasn't it? Those who knew and those who didn't; those who understood and those ready with a silver blade for her throat or a spell to do the same.

"Yeah, thanks." He knew he didn't sound very thankful. He sounded like shit. He left without another word, but he had a feeling they wouldn't notice. Keira's hand had captured all of Lambert's attention.

The lab was through the kitchen and down the stairs; where Vesemir taught them to make potions, where they brewed the foul crap that made them scream and mutated them into what they were. Eskel knew enough to make his own potions, but he hated the fucking lab. It made his mouth taste like the memory of his Trials. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake it.

It was coppery. Bitter. Foul.

Gods, he needed a drink.

His footsteps echoed off the stone walls. It was a lonely, eerie sound. He felt spooked and it wasn't like him. He charged in after all sorts of things that would send normal people to the asylum but his heart was beating too fast inside his ribs at the sound of his own feet. He swallowed hard.

The light from the lab shone into the darkened hallway, a flickering glow of orange and yellow light. The soft sound of glasses tickling against each other was barely audible over the thudding of his blood in his ears.

He leaned against the doorframe with his best impression of being casual he could muster. Maya heard his footsteps and turned towards him as he rounded the corner. His posture felt ridiculously fake but Maya's smile was real when she saw him, a little flush of pink appearing in the apples of her cheeks. He still didn't know how she could look at him like that, but it made him feel too warm.

"I was waiting for you," she said, setting down the vials she was holding into their wooden rack. She took a step towards him but then stopped and cocked her head. The smile on her face faded. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Eskel shook his head. Nothing had happened, nothing he could point to. Clearly Yennefer had some scheme, some offer, but what did it really matter? Winter was ending. Time was drawing close to when he'd have to figure out what the hell this was.

It was making him nauseous.

"You aren't hurt, are you?" Maya took a hesitant step closer. He tried not to react, but that sick part of him that wanted to protect himself, some sort of broken self preservation instinct kicked in and he flinched away from her.

Her lips parted and he heard her sharp intake of breath. He heard her heart thump in her chest. She folded her arms across her middle and took a half step back. She didn't say anything else, just looked at him. He could hear her question, even if she didn't say it.

He looked at the floor.

That morning, he'd made love to her before he left. It was a slow, sensual thing, something born of the comfort they'd developed between them. He could still feel how it was; the firm, confident touch of her hands, the taste of her breath. He wanted that, but it felt like it was being snatched away by the melting snow.

He thought heartbreak, of Dierdre. He remembered feeling like broken glass, damaged goods, failure and just cold nothing for so long. He couldn't bear the idea of feeling like that again, but what could he do? Was there any way for them to make this work? Wasn't it better to just let it go now before it got any worse?

Eskel turned his eyes back up to find her still watching him, waiting silent and patient and he realized it was entirely too late for that. Maybe, maybe if he'd left when he realized what she was, maybe he'd have stood a chance at riding out his anger instead of falling apart. But it was way past that now.

This was a fight he couldn't win. If he won, he'd still lose. Might as well surrender now.

He was bollocks for words to express how he felt, so instead he just moved, just reached out and grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. As fast as he could move, he knew she was faster, but she didn't stop him and just let him pull her tight, resting her face against him. His set his chin on the top of her head.

"I don't know what's going to happen now," he said. "Winter's over. I thought this would be over then too." He shook his head; the strands of her hair felt silky against his neck. "But I don't want it to be."

Her grip on his waist tightened. "Me neither."

It was hard to breathe. Eskel closed his eyes and just drank it in. The choice was already made for him. It had been made from the minute he fell into her door and she caught him; from all those months after, from the crunch on bloody snow under his knees when he dropped his silver sword and loved the monster instead of killing her.

Winter was over. How he felt, didn't change.


"Damn it!" Maya swore, slapping her hand down on the workbench. His earlier stupidity past, he'd found a chair and stayed to watch her work. He was sitting in the corner, leaning back in the chair, his long legs swung up on the table, careful not to disturb the piles of notes and papers stacked there.

The vial she had over the heat smoked and sputtered, the viscous liquid inside quickly turning black. He was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to do that. Keira had her running experiments with her own blood - it was a compromise they'd made. Maya was willing to provide her blood, now that it was finally clean of the silver but she was going to be more than just a test subject.

"What happened?" Maybe alchemy and potions weren't his forte, but he knew enough to be dangerous.

"I can't keep it stable, no matter what I do." she groused, blowing out the flame under the vial. "Before we even consider using my blood for this, we have to find a way to keep it from breaking down once it's out of me. It doesn't make any sense. All the other samples? The blood just sits there." She waved a hand at the table. "Drowners and neckers and griffons, every disgusting thing you've found and saved a piece of, they all just stay the way they are with either magic or physical preservation. But my blood turns to this black whatever-the-hell this is after only a few hours." She grunted. "Only difference between me and the other monsters is I'm not dead."

"Let's not test that." Eskel's voice sounded a little thready to his own ears.

Maya chuckled darkly. "I'm slightly more useful when I'm alive." She shook her head. "But we probably do need to test it. Either we need a bruxa or a high vampire gone rogue enough to get someone's attention. And I need you or Lambert to kill it and bring us some samples. I need to figures out if this is a vampire blood thing or living blood thing." She shrugged. "I'm not giving up on it either way, but right now I don't know where to go next."

Eskel grimaced. It was one thing to hunt a Fleder or a Ekimma. They were hardly more than animals. Hell, even a Katakan would be okay, ugly as they were, but a bruxa was never his favorite to hunt, even when they went really bad. They were good at manipulation. They'd put on a sweet face and cry and beg for their lives. He killed them anyway when they deserved it, but that didn't make it easier to do.

How could he face one now and not think of Maya? How could he not think that maybe if someone crashed into them at the right time, maybe they could be something more? He must had started scowling, staring off into space. He didn't realize until he felt Maya's warm hand under the ridge his chin. He lifted his eyes up to look at her. The corner of her mouth was turned up just a little, a knowing look on her face. "You don't have to, you know. Lambert is more than happy to do whatever Keira wants. If it's...too weird."

"Fuck," he muttered. "If it's weird she says. Are you kidding?"

She smiled. "It's all weird, I know." She shrugged again. "I guess it might not matter. Probably depends on whatever happens tomorrow. Lambert looked pretty pissed off when he came down here to get Keira after Yennefer showed up. I wasn't sad to stay away, other issues notwithstanding.".

"Lambert always looks pissed off. How could you tell?"

Maya shook her head at him. "No he doesn't. At least, not when he's with Keira and he thinks no one else is looking."

"I'm not sure whether to be surprised or disgusted," Eskel snarked, rolling his eyes probably a bit more dramatically than necessary. He was usually pretty stiff, he knew that. But Maya seemed to bring out several parts of him he didn't even realize he had. Even now when he was worried about what was going to happen tomorrow, his guard was down when it was just the two of them.

It bothered him less than it should have that he apparently had that in common with Lambert.

"Anyway," she continued, not letting him divert the subject, "What do you think it's about? I mean, clearly something is up."

He shook his head. "I don't know. I overheard a little, something Lambert apparently thinks is a terrible idea and from the look on her face, Keira doesn't agree with him. But Yennefer didn't say anything to me and I didn't ask. She scares the shit out me."

"Huh," Maya said. She made a face. "Is she really as beautiful as the stories make her out to be?"

"Yeah," Eskel had to admit. He wasn't blind. "But it's not real. She's a Sorceress; it's all glamour and make up. Who knows what she really looks like. Not that I think it would matter to Geralt in the end."

"Do you really think so? Even if she was old and ugly?"

He shrugged. "She probably is old at least. I mean, she's been around as long as we have and Sorceresses do live longer, sure, but they age just like everyone else does." He didn't want to talk about Yennefer, but the entire idea made him wonder. They'd never talked about the future. It seemed to shadowy and ephemeral to even consider. "Will you age?" he asked. "I mean, eventually? I know you've been around a long time, but?"

Maya made a face. "No," she said. "One we're adults, that's pretty much it for the duration. However long we end up kicking around, we pretty much stay the same."

"I will," he said, his voice quiet. "Vesemir was...fuck...he'd never admit it, but he was at least 300 years old. But he looked old as long as I've known him. And I will too, eventually, if I don't get killed by something first, that is."

"Don't get killed," Maya said quickly. "Because I think you'd look dashing with grey hair." She didn't wait for him to reply. She leaned in and kissed him, her fingers still on his chin. It was just a quick kiss, but her eyes twinkled when she pulled away.

He opened his mouth to comment but she moved her hand from his chin to his lips, shushing him before he could begin.

"Hush you," she said. Her voice was so warm it made his fingers tingle. "I know what you think but you are handsome whether you believe it or not." She pressed another short kiss to the junction of scars at the corner of his mouth before she stood back up again. She rolled her shoulders and stretched her arms up over her head.

"So," she said, stretching her neck and rolling her shoulders again. "Geralt's supposed to show up tomorrow and then we'll talk about whatever and …." She trailed off.

"And something," he ineptly finished for her.

"Right, well." Maya put her hands on her hips and grinned as sudden and unexpected and as devilish an expression as he'd ever seen on her face. "Let's go get really drunk and have loud sex until Lambert pounds on the door to tell us to shut up."

Eskel barked a laugh. "That's a hell of a plan."

Maya shrugged. "Whatever happens, let's make sure the only regret we have is the hangover."

Eskel got to his feet, smiling foolishly against his better judgement. He wondered if she'd ever stop surprising him. He certainly hoped not.

"What's your poison?" he asked. She drank rarely and sparingly thus far. From what he knew, it was blood that made vampires drunk. Wait… "Or," he begin before his brain stopped him. "Or I'll drink the vodka and you can drink from me."

Her expression changed like storm clouds rolling in on a windy sky. "You're joking, right?"

He shook his head, not sure if he'd lost his mind or not. He remembered what happened. There was a connection between them when she drank from him and now that he knew what to expect? That might be one hell of a ride. "No, entirely serious."

Maya took a deep, shaky breath. "Let's start with the vodka." She swallowed, ran the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip. "We'll see where we go from there."