A/N:
Warning, contains many random references, random occurrences, suspicious stuff, and honey. Also, there is some sudden harsh language, so enjoy.
Up over the clouds of Gensokyo, two large ships float beside each other, while a third, black, gray and red ship circles around them, seemingly peacefully.
On the deck of the unnamed ghostly ship belonging to Captain Yuyuko Saigyouji, are Youmu, Marisa, and Rika Onkamikami, who wears a blue t-shirt under a black cross-laced vest, both which have a hole on the back for her wings to come out of, a dirty white skirt that only covers down to her knees, held up by a light-brown belt with a matching buckle, where she sheathes her family sword, a pair of black thigh high boots, her treasured sapphire yin-yang around her neck, along with her red scarf with the fire motif and the kanji for "Will of Fire" on the end, and a cute light blue bandana over her wavy brown hair that reaches just above her lower back.
Around them are the spirit crew, all raising two sticks for hands, while Cirno, Rumia, Mystia, Shou's little red-haired fairy, and Reimu, hold their fingers, swords, and Reimu her charms, threateningly up to their faces.
Rika, looking a bit nervous, looks to Reimu and slowly flaps her wings as she says "but I only came here to ask for the soy sauce, just like you asked me to~!"
Reimu places her left hand on her hip and bends slightly back as she laughs, then straightens up and stares at Rika with vicious eyes and says "you filthy bilge rats have no right enjoying soy sauce! Yar, har, har!"
Rika gasps and looks as though she's ready to cry, so Marisa taps her shoulder and whispers "oi, don't go taking it so serious now. Just play along!"
Rika looks back at Marisa with disbelief and surprise, then says "but not two hours ago you two said you were done with the ships! You even said they crashed! How are they even flying, and all in one piece?"
Reimu gets out of character as she chuckles and says "look, the important thing is that we're having fun, so just enjoy and... well, have fun."
Rika stares at Reimu in a bit of confusion, then slowly, her confusion vanishes, and a very happy smile fills the shrine maid's face, and all of a sudden, with a quick twist of her facial expression, she looks like a raging pirate and says "you slack-basted codfish best enjoy your victory, for now! Once I get my chance, I'll have ye clean the floor on the brig with yer tongue, ga, ha ,har!"
All around Rika, including the spirits, silently stare at the maid with surprise, none of them expecting such a sweet and innocent-looking lady to be able to play pirate so well, but Reimu breaks the silence by replying "yar! Big words from such a small scallywag!"
Rika breaks from the group, unsheathes her sword, points it at Reimu, then says "let's see what'cher made of!"
Reimu wants nothing more than to start giggling, but she keeps in character, unsheathes her silver gohei, points it at Rika, then says "I'll have you walk the plank, you scurvy dog!"
Inside the captain's quarters of the Palanquin, Minamitsu and Yuyuko stands on opposite ends of the room, simply glaring at each other without doing much of anything... just glaring.
For some time, they simply continue to glare at each other, then, just like that, Yuyuko smiles and flicks her head.
Minamitsu raises her left eyebrow and start walking to the left, to which Yuyuko walks to the right, opening her fan and covering her face, although, in her pirate outfit, she looks a little more silly than elegant while doing so.
Once each girl stands where the other was just moments ago, they stop and start glaring again, then Byakuren, who wears her pink eye-patch on her right eye, enters with a smile on her face and a tray with teacups, snacks, and a pirate magazine that also happens to contain a make-shift script, then says "we need to move the story along, so drink these, read your lines, and move on."
Yuyuko and Minamitsu both blush with embarrassment until their faces turn tomato red, then Minamitsu accepts the tray and says "thank you so much lady Hijiri."
Yuyuko waves the fan and says "you're a diamond, matey! thanks."
After the scene zips to the next, Yuyuko points the close fan at Minamitsu and says "so if you ever want fresh honey on your morning bread again, you best strike the deal now, while I'm still in the mood."
Minamitsu pulls her ladle from behind her pants, points it threateningly at Yuyuko while smiling almost too naturally, and says "but if cut out the middle-ghost, I can have all the honey I want from you own stores!"
Yuyuko shrugs as she bends slightly back and says "you could do that...", then she slowly starts zigzagging toward Minamitsu, saying "but then, when you find all the jars being possessed by the rowdy spirits, you'll be saying to yourself 'oh, if I hadn't killed their princess so she could make them leave'."
Minamitsu smirks and pockets her ladle, then Yuyuko tosses her fan at the sea-ghost and asks "so, do we have a death? Er, I mean, a deal?"
Before Minamitsu can answer, there is a loud boom coming from outside, then the Palanquin rattles violently, making both girls tumble, allowing Yuyuko to get close enough to Minamitsu, shaker her hand, and say "wow, you have a very soft hand."
Minamitsu smiles, then says "thanks. Now let me properly kill you."
Yuyuko pushes herself away from Minamitsu, then opens the doors to the room, uses said doors on Nazrin and Shou to knock them away as they simply try to walk in, then runs through the small corridor that leads to freedom.
On the S.S. In Your Face Murasa, Chiyuri is shouting as loudly as she can "take that Minamitsu~! You and your damned RPG playing auto-pilot that cost me my crew and stuff~! WA-HA-HA-HA-HA~!"
She looks to the deck, then loudly shouts "FIRE ALL~!"
On the deck of Chiyuri's ship are Tewi, Lily White, Mima, Maribel and Renko.
Tewi wears a dirty white muscle shirt with a pair of large dark-green pants held up by a dark brown belt with a golden buckle, a pair of black army boots with a golden ring on the left boot, her usual carrot necklace, and a pirate bandana with green and red stripes that covers her left rabbit ear.
Lily wears her usual white dress with red waves on the borders of the sleeves and bottom of the dress, her usual white hat with red waves around the brim over her long blonde hair, but, when her dress lifts a bit, it is revealed that, somehow, instead of her legs, she has a pair of pegs, which aren't very good for walking... or standing... or kicking.
Mima wears a provocative sleeveless white shirt under a sleeveless light-brown open vest, showing off her cleavage, a pair of long brown pants, a pair of stylish brown slippers, a painted scar on her left cheek, and a vicious and mischievous jagged-toothed grin along with her excited eyes.
Maribel, who has her cat's ears exposed, wears a white bandana around her head, a long sleeved dirty red shirt, a pair of jungle-cammo army pants, a pair of ankle-high brown boots, and carries a large scimitar she 'sheathes' on a piece of rope she's using as a belt.
Finally, Renko wears her normal black hat with a green pirate bandana underneath, a black shirt under a stylish sleeveless open brown vest with green borders that has a wave motif, a black skirt that reaches just above her knees, which is held up by a cute white belt with a matching white buckle, a simple old sword sheathed to her right, a pair of black slippers, and a pair of light-brown thigh-high socks that make it look like she's bare-legged.
The girls scatter, Mima, Maribel and Renko taking the room below the deck and manning a cannon each, while Lily and Tewi take a cannon on the deck each and start shooting at the Palanquin immediately, Lily shouting "it's spring, you sockless pack of ingrates!"
Yumemi approaches Chiyuri on the poop deck, and with an annoyed look on her face, she says "you do realize they are going to get royally pissed at you for ruining their little game, right?"
Chiyuri looks back at Yumemi with a rage filled face and shouts "this is a damned war! Man a cannon and FIRE ALREADY, dammit!"
Yumemi is now standing right behind Chiyuri, a dark and ominous shadow covering her eyes as she glares dangerously at the blonde sailor, and has her fingers wrapped around the back of Chiyuri's panties.
In a soft, but dangerously ominous tone of voice, she says "that shadow girl ate all my honey, and I'm in a really bad mood right now, so try to keep your tone at a more respectful tone, or I'm raising you all the way up the mizzen mast by these silky whiteys for all to see, making sure to stretch the band at least a good five centimeters."
Chiyuri's face turns blue as she starts sweating vigorously, and with a wriggled and nervous smile, she nods, and softly and nervously says "sorry ma'am... Please, continue as you were."
Recovering her usual friendly aspect, Yumemi stands back, salutes Chiyuri, then says "right away, captain!", then hums as she merrily skips toward the nearest cannon.
Chiyuri stands in place, so frightened, her entire body fails to respond to anything she tries to do, and while still shivering so violently, she manages to say to herself "i-it's alright Chiyuri, she's gone now... calm down... calm down~!"
At The Palanquin, while Chiyuri's crew continues to shower them with cannon-fire, Yuyuko runs past Byakuren, who runs around, shooting magic spells at the S.S. In Your Face Murasa, while smiling and shouting "FIRE~! Sink these scurvy dogs to the depths!"
Yuyuko ignores the magician and rushes to the helm, ignoring Unzan, who has a cannonball fly right through his head, which in turn lands next to Ichirin and sends her flying away after it explodes.
Yuyuko ducks to avoid the youkai's leg, then continues on her way.
Meanwhile, back at the ghostly ship, Reimu and Rika sweat as they continue their somewhat friendly swordfight.
Reimu pushes Rika back by trying to stab her gohei, and Rika manages to sway the tip away with her family sword while backing away, and all while the other girls and the spirits continue to cheer on, ignoring Yuyuko, who shouts from the Palanquin "Youmu~, Marisa~, anyone~! I need to get out of here, now~!"
Rika finds herself pinned against the entrance door of the Hakugyokurou replica, causing Reimu to smile and wind her gohei while saying "and now, your continues end here!"
Just as Reimu is about to swing her gohei at the glaring pirate Rika, Kurumi, who wears her regular white shirt, blood-red long skirt with suspenders, and white ribbon around her head, adorning her long blond hair, flies just above and behind Reimu.
She points at Marisa, then cries "there she is, miss Maid! She's the one saying you wear pads!"
Marisa looks around very nervously while shouting "hey, wait a minute! I only said that once! ...to FLAN~!"
Reimu and Rika both look deathly frightened at Marisa and slowly lift their trembling hands to point behind the witch.
Marisa turns around and screams when she sees Yumeko, who wears her regular red maid's outfit, which seems to be accenting her breasts by having her apron tightened just below them, her wavy blonde hair swaying with the wind as she grins and stares dangerously at pirate Marisa while holding on to three short swords between the fingers of each crossed arm.
She stares at Marisa and says "so, you claim THESE are pads? Sorry to disappoint you, but my filling comes by naturally. Now DIE~!"
Marisa can only lift her arms; as if that's going to protect her from Yumeko's assault; and screams out of pure fear.
Meanwhile, back at the Palanquin, Yuyuko holds on to a thick rope that is tied to a cannon, and passes over a familiar pink cloud that seems to be playing the role of a make-shift mast, then aims the cannon to the front of the ship.
Minamitsu reaches Yuyuko just as she's about to pull on the string that fires the cannon, squints her eyes to take notice of a small doll of herself inside the cannon's opening, then looks at Yuyuko and exclaims "you're mad!"
Yuyuko giggles while covering her mouth with her left hand, then says "no I'm not, silly. If I was, I'd probably want to sink your ship again."
Right after saying that, she holds on tight to the thick rope, pulls the string on the cannon, then gets flung to the air after the cannon recoils, screaming all the way over her own ship.
Everyone in the ghostly ship, including Yumeko, watch as Yuyuko flies by, screaming, then rush to the starboard side (the right, folks) in hope of catching the ghost princess before she falls overboard, and completely ignoring poor Marisa, who lies trembling on the floor with three of Yumeko's swords on her back.
The rope Yuyuko was holding on to slips right through Youmu's fingers, then she curses loudly as she rushes to the edge and looks down, thinking her mistress is hanging somewhere on the ship.
The whole crew suddenly turn to the right when they hear Yuyuko's voice.
She stands on the roof of the ghostly shrine with her back against the wall, while smiling and saying "and all of that without having had brunch yet."
She jumps down to the deck, causing her breasts to jiggle, which cause Youmu's face to turn red, then Mystia and Cirno hold on to Rika, while Yuyuko stares angrily at her and says "take this feculent pestilence yeasted piece of flatulent codfish to the brig!"
Rika realizes she's trapped and panics, and while she's being dragged away, she asks "wait, what? But why? What did I do? My lady, HELP!"
Reimu rubs her forehead and says "better head back to my ship. See you guys later."
The maiden lifts off to the air, along with the little red haired fairy, waving back at Rumia, Youmu, Yuyuko, Yumeko, and to the spirits, and all wave back at them as if it's alright for the enemy to just leave like that.
Youmu sighs, then says "such nice girls."
Yuyuko giggles, then says "a credit to Gensokyo for sure."
Yumeko sighs and slightly bends over to dust her skirt, then says "well, I restored my honor so..."
Yumeko's face, suddenly twists, her mouth stretches open, leaving her clenched teeth bare, her eyes seem to pop out of their socket while her pupils shrink to the size of marbles, then she jumps up to the sky, holding her bottom while screaming out as loud as her lungs will allow.
Standing just behind where Yumeko was, a bloodied, panting, and furious pirate Marisa, holds on to a short sword on her right hand as she looks around at the crew, then says "payback's a BITCH!"
On the S.S. In Your Face Murasa, Chiyuri has recovered from the fright she got from Yumemi's threat, and is looking around her ship with a self-important look on her face.
She approaches Tewi, who is sitting on a cannon while looking away, as though flying through one of her most precious dreams, where carrots are plentiful, and there are five Reisens to play pranks on, and all fall victims of all her traps.
Finding this a little offensive, Chiyuri swings her arm, smacks Tewi on the back of her head, then says "I won't have lollygaggers on my ship! Now lift that skin and fire at the Palanquin!"
Tewi pushes herself up from the floor with her arms with such strength, she manages to fly over Chiyuri's head, and that's what she actually does, ...fly, so no real effort was made, lands on Chiyuri's shoulders and grabs her cheeks, stretching them as far as she can take them.
While Chiyuri mumbles incoherently, Tewi calmly says "you shouldn't strike a rabbit on the back of the head when she be sleeping. Bad luck to be hitting a rabbit on the back of the head while she be sleeping."
Tewi loosens her grip on Chiyuri's cheeks, giving the so-called captain the chance to say "I got beer!"
Seconds later, Tewi stands to the left of Chiyuri, holding on to two mugs of beer with a VERY content look on her face, and says "yes, the counter-curse is gladly accepted."
Chiyuri growls, then asks "and why the hell were you sleeping on the job anyway?"
Tewi drinks from the mug on her left hand, sighs with great satisfaction, then says "the contract specified I am to follow orders ONLY when the ship is airborne."
Tewi starts drinking form the mug on her right hand, even places her left hand, which is mysteriously empty, on her hip while she drinks, then Chiyuri stomps her right foot hard on the floor and shouts "but we ARE AIRBORNE!"
Tewi points with her right hand thumb, which is now also mysteriously empty, towards the bow, and says "we crashed half an hour ago, usa. You must have been drunker than I thought."
Chiyuri looks toward the destroyed bow, which is stuck inside the Palanquin's bow, then rubs her chin and narrows her eyes while she thinks.
Inside the world in her mind, she has breasts so large, she has to wear a white bikini under her shirt in order to cover herself up properly, even though just imagining a larger shirt should suffice, and as she moves, they jiggle and bounce as though defying gravity.
Around her is her crew, all bowing to her and begging her to save them, Yumemi, who looks like a flat-chested nerdy girl with freckled cheeks and wearing large glasses, says "please, oh so mighty one, save us! The Palanquin has a large hole and is coming straight at us."
True enough, and the actual true image in Chiyuri's twisted imagination, the Palanquin has a hole on the deck and on the bow, from the cannonball Yuyuko shot toward the deck, and it's now on a crash course with the S.S. In Your Face Murasa.
The big-breasted Chiyuri stares on as the ships are mere inches away from colliding, then suddenly shrugs, making her breasts bounce around, then, after a sudden close-up to her chest, the pulls the view on to her face as she heroically says "ladies... we... are screwed!"
The ships crash, Chiyuri's ship gets inside the hole on the Palanquin's bow, Minamitsu screams out unintelligible curses, then Renko says "our captain is so awesome!"
Back in reality, Mima, who has a vein pulsing on her fist, has knocked Chiyuri out with one punch, angrily saying "that's for running around in circles while crying for your mommy instead of taking action, you slightly breasted bilge rat!"
Tewi flips her thumb up and says "nice shot."
Mima just sighs, then asks "and where's everyone else?"
Tewi smiles and says " Maribel and the spring fairy are over the Palanquin. They say they want to get something for Yumemi. As for Renko and Yumemi herself... they said they were going to get some more 'man-power'."
Mima stares at Tewi with suspicion after she says that last word.
Over at the Human Village, Yumemi and Renko suspiciously enter a suspicious dark building, which is suppose to be a school, suspiciously placed in a suspicious spot at the center of the village... suspiciously.
Even though it's so suspicious, the villagers walk around as though there's nothing really suspicious about it, but trust me, it IS suspicious.
Inside, a woman wrapped in a dirty brown hooded cloak, stands behind a large counter, where a large cash-register rests on it, ever so suspiciously.
The woman sighs contently at the sight of her customers, and with a strange accent, she says "welcome to my store. How may I be of service? If you are looking for ship upgrades, you have come to the right place, as we have JUST received a brand new cannon that should suit your needs. Or perhaps, you came in today for... THAT!"
Yumemi blushes, then shudders at the sound of that last word, then nervously says "err, no, not today. Today I want that new cannon you just happen to mention so suspiciously and coincidentally."
A grin can be seen from underneath the woman's hood, frightening Renko and Yumemi into a sudden fright-hug, then the woman loudly says "GIRL! Bring the new stuff!"
From the back of the store, a little girl replies "sure thing Keine-san!"
The hood on Keine falls right off after the surprise of that revelation, revealing her silver hair with blue highlights, then, with tears in her eyes and a whiny voice, Keine says "I told you to call me Mysteria! Now my cover is blown!"
The girl reveals herself from the back, and along with a small doll with equal clothing, they struggle as they pull on a very large sack.
The girl has short blonde hair she adorns with a dark-red ribbon, wears a dark-purple shirt with red strings that make a suspicious red cross on her chest, a red skirt that reaches to her knees, and wears a pair of red shoes with pink socks.
Somehow, Medicine and Su-San manage to place the large sack on the counter, and after swiping the sweat off her forehead, Medicine says "yeah, yeah, just make sure Kotohime doesn't catch us again."
Keine smiles nervously, but simply presses a few buttons on her cash register, then says "that will be fourteen thousand, please."
Yumemi smiles widely as she takes out the money, while Renko goes for the large sack, accidentally dropping it on the ground, revealing a rather large cannon, a scroll..., and Kyo, bound with rope from his legs, up to his neck.
It looks as though he was sleeping while in the sack, and after getting 'somewhat' free, he opens his eyes, looks around, then a powerful aura emanates from his body, causing the entire village to rumble as he says "when I get my hands on you, I'm going to-"
Before he can finish, Keine jumps over the counter, grabs the scroll on the ground, then opens it in front of Kyo's eyes, revealing a sewn image of Luna Rivers, Kyo's woman, with her long silver hair with red highlights swaying in the wind, revealing her tight red frilly underwear.
She seems ignorant of this fact as she stares ever so peacefully at the sewn moon on the starry night sky.
When Kyo lays eyes on the deliciously suspicious and sexy picture, his rage subsides, and he slowly falls into a blissful state of sleep.
Keine covers him up again, then Yumemi angrily asks "what the HELL was THAT?"
Keine takes a deep breath, stands up, turns around to look at the girls with a grin on her face, then says "it's a time bomb cannon. This bomb it fires is capable of taking down two ships with one shot."
Yumemi stares at Keine in shock, but suddenly starts to grin mischievously, then joins Keine in a suspicious evil laugh.
As they laugh, Renko stares at the rolled up scroll, then at the large sack, then says "Luna is so going to kill us for this."
Meanwhile, back at Chiyuri's ship, Mima has finally finished nailing the last board on the bow, painted it black, played poker with Unzan, gossiped with Ichirin, bro-fist with Shou, and finally, ate lunch with Minamitsu herself.
She is now heading to the sleeping quarters for her nap, then come across Chiyuri, who is angrily tapping her left foot, while glaring at Mima and crossing her arms under her suddenly larger breasts.
Mima points at Chiyuri's chest and says "so it was you who took the pads."
Chiyuri raises her arms to cover her chest while blushing beet red, then says "n-never mind that! Tell me if there is a particular reason for you to be 'hanging out' with the enemy."
Mima shrugs and smiles naturally as she says "someone has to keep them busy while Maribel and Lily raid their stores."
Deep inside the surprisingly huge ship that is the Palanquin, Maribel and Lily White make their way right out of the ship's stores hauling a small red wagon that's filled to the top with honey in jars, pots, and surprisingly enough, inside chocolate clumps.
While Maribel is the one doing the actual hauling; and without much effort either; Lily sits on the top of the spoils, drinking away the honey as though it's water, though leaving the chocolate clumps alone, claiming they taste salty to her.
Maribel raises her left eyebrow to look back at Lily, then says "miss While, please leave some for miss Yumemi. I mean, the whole reason we are doing this is to cheer her up."
Lily finishes a whole pot in one chug, sighs as though she's just drunk a whole mug of beer, raises the pot as though cheering, then says "but honey is the essence of spring! I am spring, so I must drink!"
Maribel sighs as she rubs her forehead, then says "look, we're coming to the surface now, so at least stay alert. I'm sure the girls will be mad at us for stealing... er, I mean, 'salvaging', their honey."
Lily waves her pegged legs twice, pulls out a large buster sword that's three times her own size from under her cute little white dress, smiles at Maribel, then says "I will not fail!"
Outside, on the Palanquin's deck, the sudden ambush by angry youkai girls the cat-human and the fairy were expecting doesn't happen at all, making them feel both disappointed and relieved, but mostly disappointed.
After looking around in disbelief for a while, Maribel turns around to look at Lily on top of the honey wagon, who just shrugs.
Maribel decides to just head on over to the S.S. In your Face Murasa, which looks like it's just about ready to take off.
Over at the back of the Palanquin, all the girls, save for Nazrin and Minamitsu, are sunbathing in their bikinis, while the poor Unzan is blindfolded with a pair of black eye-patches, and being the shy Nyuudo that he is, her doesn't even TRY to take them off, no matter how badly he may want to peek at the girls.
The girls have been rejoined by those who were just serving over at Yuyuko's ship, like nothing ever happened.
For those of us lucky enough to see; Ichirin wears a white bikini top with a dark blue bottom, Byakuren wears a white with black polka-dotted bikini, Shou wears a burgundy top with an un-matching tiger-striped bottom bikini, the little red-haired fairy wears a plain white bikini, Kogasa wears a light-blue bikini with white raindrops, Nue wears a black micro-bikini, Cirno wears a light-blue and white bikini, Daiyousei wears a plain blue bikini, Rumia wears a pink bikini (were you expecting black?), Mystia wears a brown top with a white bottom bikini, and Agava wears a bright-red bikini.
Finally, most surprising of all, is Wriggle, who wears a teal bikini, which reveals she actually has a more defined girly figure than expected.
Fan-Service aside, we return to Chiyuri's ship, where, somehow, Maribel and Lily have just stored the salvaged honey, and honey-filled chocolate clumps, inside the storage of the ship, and Lily only had two more shots of honey, so there is plenty left.
Meanwhile, on the ship's deck, Yumemi and Renko finish installing the new canon, keeping the 'cannonball' inside its sack.
Once set, Yumemi looks at Tewi, Mima, and another girl hidden in shadows, then says "now remember, this thing is VERY volatile, so if you activate it by mistake, make sure to open the scroll so that it's facing 'it', and everything should be fine."
Chiyuri approaches Yumemi, then asks "oi, don't you think it's dangerous having that thing on board?"
Yumemi stares angrily at Chiyuri, obviously blaming her for the loss of her honey, then points at the mysteriously shadowed stowaway, then says "it's no more dangerous than HER!"
Chiyuri stares at the mysterious shadow girl, then asks "and who the HECK are you?"
The sun coincidentally reveals itself from behind some clouds, then the mysteriously shadowed girl turns out to be Chen, wearing her cute pirate outfit, grinning widely, showing off that jagged-tooth smile while swaying her tails rapidly.
Chiyuri just stands where she is, staring curiously at the nekomata, but Yumemi suddenly realizes what she is seeing, fear takes over her, evident when her face loses colors and her eyes start to tremble, then very suddenly, she takes a deep breath and shouts as loudly as she can "ABANDON SHIP! It's the CHENSAW~!"
Without thinking much about it, Yumemi takes the sack with the 'cannonball' and jumps off the ship, while Renko and Tewi run to the starboard (right) side, and jump head-first, making a loud splashing sound.
Chiyuri and Chen both look confused, so they rush straight to the edge, and move their heads along with the sound of water being splashed around by two pair of hands.
Chiyuri and Chen look at each other, sweat nervously, then Chiyuri chuckles and asks "how is that even possible?"
Mima suddenly flies straight out of the sleeping quarters, screaming "run~! It's Chensaw~!", then Chen recovers from her surprise, unsheathes her saw-sword, yanks the bottom part to start the loudly buzzing motor, then a glint escapes her right eye as she stares at Chiyuri.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Gensokyo, where bamboo shoots tower like skyscrapers and create mazes where people get lost in, Minamitsu and Nazrin use the mouse's dowsing rods to find something.
Nazrin seems to be focusing on leading the way, and seems to get a bit irritated when Minamitsu suddenly says "jeez, this stupid forest. Should be called 'The Bamboo Forest of the Lost'."
A vein pulsates on Nazrin's forehead as she narrows her eyes to an almost close, then says "that IS the name of this forest. Now shut it, I'm trying to focus here."
Just as she finishes saying her sentence, she bumps against a wall, so Minamitsu whistles with admiration, then says "well, we found it. The grey market. They were right when they said it's well hidden."
Nazrin rubs her nose, sighs and replies "just get inside.", then enters after Minamitsu, sarcastically saying "really... very well hidden. ...Retards."
The building is a small bamboo house with a huge neon sign on top that reads "Grey Market. Get your goods here. (No Cops, and this means you, Kotohime)."
Inside the dark building, behind an old, but sturdy-looking counter, is Reisen, who wears a plaid yellow and orange scarf that covers her mouth, and a pair of sunglasses over her red eyes.
She wears her usual beige skirt and long-sleeved business vest with a name tag that reads "My name is Tia, not Reisen".
As if with just that scarf and sunglasses will keep her identity hidden, I mean, she even has her lilac hair all lose, like always, and her rumpled rabbit ears with the buttons on the bottom plainly visible.
Minamitsu looks at Reisen, then says "you, whoever you are. Word is you have an actual 'Summon Cannon', is this correct?"
Reisen nods, then says "it's not cheap, as you'd expect."
Nazrin steps forward, then asks "how much, mysterious bunny-lady?"
Reisen lowers her head slightly, then says "fifty-thousand. No haggling."
Minamitsu pulls out a large bag filled with coins from her pocket, somehow, and says "I showed you mine, you show me yours."
Reisen's left eye glints under her sunglasses, then bends down, rummages around the lower part of the counter, then effortlessly pulls out a large silver cannon with chrome finish and places it on the counter, a small bottle with pink liquid inside, then pulls out Ail, who seems to be sedated at the moment, and places him on the counter next to the cannon.
He's wearing a white, worn and dirty muscle shirt that is just too big for him, a pair of long black broken and worn pants, and a pair of brown boots... which are actually his regular ones.
While Minamitsu 'inspects' Ail, Nazrin inspects the cannon, and the moment she places her face in front of the opening, Reisen pushes her away, shouting "no! NEVER look inside the opening."
She grabs the bottle with the pink liquid, then says "this aphrodisiac is so powerful, it will drive you insane, even by just sniffing it's perfume. The inside of the cannon is already filled with this stuff, so never look inside."
Minamitsu raises an eyebrow, then asks "hey, fifty-thousand for this..? How exactly does it work?"
Reisen smiles very naturally under her scarf, pulls out a small gas mask, a pair of rubber gloves, hands them over to Minamitsu, then says "you'll need to wears these while you apply the aphrodisiac on to the 'cannonball'. After that, just load it into the cannon, aim, fire, then watch as your enemies are brought down by a powerful summon."
Both Minamitsu and Nazrin let out and expression of amazement, then Minamitsu hands Reisen the money, and says "sold! Now let's take this baby back to the ship!"
From behind the building, a woman calls "Udonge~! I need your help over here." Reisen calls back "coming Master~!", then looks at the girls and says "thanks for your purchase. Please consider us for any of your cannon, or ship upgrade needs. Bye~!"
As the girls leave through the front door, Minamitsu carrying the cannon, mask and gloves, and Nazrin carrying Ail like a sack of potatoes, Minamitsu whispers at the mouse youkai "seriously, who the heck is that girl?"
Nazrin shrugs and shakes her head, then says "she seems familiar, but I just can't put my finger on it. Oh well, let's take this back."
At the S.S. In Your Face Murasa, a raging storm threatens to destroy the ship, as Chen and Lily fight with all their might.
High above the grounded ship, on the mizzen mast, Chen and Lily clash swords with such ferocity, even Mima needs to wear sunglasses to watch, seeing as the cheer awesomeness is just too damned bright.
Chen back-flips to avoid Lily's buster sword, then jumps forward while swinging her saw-sword down, forcing Lily to move her left pegged-leg and avoid being hit.
Lily swings from the left to recover balance, but Chen blocks the side attack with ease and quickly tries a thrust, but Lily moves her buster sword with such eases and agility, it's as if it didn't even weigh an ounce, veering Chen's sword away and punching the nekomata on the nose.
Chen backs away and growls, to which Lily replies by raising her buster sword until it covers her mouth and nose, then ominously says "it's spring, kitty-cat.", then raises her left hand and gestures Chen to get closer.
Down on the deck, Tewi, staring up with awe and admiration, says "those two are pretty even."
Mima squints her eyes behind her sunglasses as she says "well, it's not over yet. Look!"
The entire scene changes to that of the insides of a futuristic sci-fi movie spaceship, and instead of being on the mizzen mast, Chen and Lily are on what looks like a ridiculously well polished metal bride.
When the girls down on what SHOULD be the ship's deck notice the suddenly change, they hurdle up into a hug, all with pale and blue faces, Yumemi asking "where the hell are we?"
Instead of the clanging of swords, the girls now hear electric buzzing noises, then Maribel points up at the fighting girls and says "look, they... they changed!"
Chen wears a black hooded cloak with the hood down, and underneath the cloak, she wears what looks like a futuristic black vest with buttons and a mobile phone to the left of a small terminal, a pair of tight black pants, shiny brown boots, and her regular green hat over her head.
Her jagged-toothed grin is still there.
Lily wears a light-brown cloak over a padded brown vest, which is over a long-sleeved white shirt, a pair of dirty ivory pants, shiny black boots, and her normal hat over her head.
Both their swords' hilts look the very same, but the blades themselves have become beams of light that retain the exact appearance of their normal blades, except Chen's is blue, and Lily's is yellow.
The girls clash their swords with such skill, if you blink once, you missed out on all the action.
Chen swings to the left, and Lily raises her sword's hilt, placing the beam blade in front of Chen's, then swings right, making Chen move her deflected sword to her right to deflect Lily's, then she suddenly flips, and kicks Lily on the abdomen, sending her flying three feet back.
Lily yelps and holds her abdomen, but quickly recovers and flies straight back at Chen, raising her beam buster sword above her head.
Chen swings her beam saw-sword from above her head to deflect Lily's, then jumps and twirls around the air like a crazed acrobat, swinging that sword around like a maniac, forcing Lily to defend while the nekomata lands, then Lily twirls left while swinging her sword, gets deflected, recovers and swings from below, gets deflected, and finally, both girls swing from above their heads and entangle their beam swords above their heads, making a disturbing electric buzzing sound as they press their faces against each other, both grinning wickedly at each other, then finally break apart once again.
Chen hisses at Lily, who smiles and sexily says "meow~", and flickers her eyelashes.
Chen's eyes turn almost demonic, her face turns beastly, then she launches at Lily with a loud "MREEEOOOWWW~!", as though trying to roar like a large cat.
Lily raises her beam blade above her head, just as Chen swings her beam blade down with all her might, defending herself from the airborne nekomata.
After landing, Chen swings left, Lily deflects and thrusts, Chen bends her abdomen and swings to the right from down low, Lily twirls right and swings after stopping, causing both beam blades to lock while pointing diagonally downward.
On what is supposed to be the S.S. In Your Face Murasa's deck, which actually has returned to normal, Renko and Chiyuri seem to be dazed by the intense battle, while the rest squint their eyes so as not to miss a second of the battle, all of them moving their bodies as though they are trying to mimic the fighting girls' movements.
While moving her boyd left and right, Yumemi says "those two are at a level of their own!"
Tewi chuckles and says "yeah! Just look at 'em go!"
Maribel quickly adds "oh my, Lily ate a family-sized pepperoni pizza in just one minute!"
Yumemi gasps, then says "shit, they're eating the honey!", then rushes toward the fighting girls.
Instead of being on the mizzen mast, and now wearing their pirate outfits yet again, Lily and Chen are sitting on a picnic table that happens to be conveniently placed there for them to have an eating contest.
Having already eaten thirty hamburgers, fifteen family-sized pizzas, and sixty-five sweet dumplings, the girls are on their last strands as they are now drinking away the honey.
Though Chen looks tired, and about ready to give up, Lily looks sick, tired, and just about ready to throw up.
Yumemi manages to grab three jars of honey, then tip-toes away from the girls, then Chen grabs one more mug filled with honey, stares at it with grimace, then chugs it down without thinking about it, bending her ears back as she does.
Her entire arm trembles as she pushes the mug against her face, then finally, after the honey is gone, she drops the mug hard on the wooden table, then wipes her mouth with her left arm.
Lily starts to shiver violently, but ignoring this, she reaches for the next mug of honey and shakily draws it closer to herself.
She stares with grimace at the contents of the mug, but goes for the win, however, the second she readies herself to lift that mug, she stops completely, stares at Chen, and finally drops to the ground, where her buster sword somehow comes flying from nowhere and stabs itself to her right, breaking a hole on the ship, surprising everyone when they realize that sword must weigh more than three cannonballs combined.
Minutes later, after the two grounded ships join Yuyuko's in the sky, Lily starts to wake up to the smell of something burning.
She starts to sniff around, making a rather rude noise with her nose, then suddenly opens her eyes wide, springs up on her seat, then the horrible sight greets her.
Yumemi sits with a depressed look on her face, sniffling while looking at the floor between her knees, and behind HER is a pile of empty honey jars and pots being burned for no apparent reason.
Lily suddenly gets up on her feet, shouting "NO~! Not good! Stop! Not good!"
She rushes to Tewi, who throws the last pot of honey into the fire, gets close to the youkai rabbit while holding on to the side of her long blonde hair, and sounding desperate, she says "what the hell do you think you are doing? You burned the jars, the pots, the sails, ...the honey!"
Tewi smiles and casually says "yes, the honey is gone."
Almost ripping off her own hair, Lily stiffly moves her hand in front of herself, and furiously shakes them in the air and shouts "WHY IS THE HONEY GONE?"
Tewi closes her eyes and counts with her fingers as she looks up and counts "one, after Chen beat you, she took off with most of the honey from the storage. Two, Yumemi got desperate and ate the last two pots, and now has a stomach ache that threatens to 'take her life', or so she says. And three... well, we thought we should honor the souls of the brave jars and pots by burning their bodies honorably."
Lily now looks as though she's ready to cry while staring at Tewi, shakes her stiff arms in the air again, and softly asks "but why is the honey gone?"
Tewi rubs her chin as she thinks a little harder, then says "hmm, lucky this ship doesn't actually use the sails to move, or we'd be neck-deep in trouble."
She turns around and decides to roast some marshmallows she conveniently pulls from under her dress, then says "oh well. Don't worry about it Lily. Once we make port, we'll head to the village to buy some more."
Lily's entire body shivers with rage, even her wings seem to be stiff from the stress, then she raises her hands and shouts out loud "SPRIIIIIING!", releasing a shit-load of danmaku, blasting Tewi, Mima, Yumemi, Renko, Maribel, and even Chiyuri, who exits her quarters, asking "hey, what's with all the, WAUGH!", only to get showered by petal bullets.
The next morning, all three ships are going at it.
Cannon-fire, clinging swords, curses, whimsical laughter, and pleas for honey echo for miles away.
At the S.S. In Your Face Murasa, poor Yumemi's face is pale as a ghost's, and Lily kneels beside her, unable to move, and all because neither had their morning honey, or honeyed toasts.
Chiyuri impatiently taps her foot, standing behind them while holding on to her exposed hips, glaring at the fairy and her supposedly-boss.
She finally loses her patience, face palms with a loud groan, then loudly says "seriously? You two are still moping over that? Jeez, get it together! The sooner we beat one of them, the sooner we can raid their honey stores, so what do you say to lending a hand already!"
Both girls suddenly fill up with life, their bodies react on their own as they stand up and face their 'captain', then Yumemi energetically says "then what are we waiting for? Renko, ready the new cannon!"
After Yumemi runs toward the front of the ship, Lily salutes Chiyuri, captains the cannon right behind them, fires a shot, then shouts "SPRING HAS COMETH, YOU FLAT-CHESTED SEA WENCHES! MUAHAHAHA~!"
Chiyuri starts regretting what she just did, seeing Lily become a monster with that cannon, firing so many times, the opening is starting to glow red.
The so-called captain starts to tremble, and slowly backs away, shielding herself from Lily's crazy aura with her arms while nervously saying "umm... I'll be over here if you... umm.. right."
Chiyuri rushes over to Yumemi and Renko, who have just unwrapped the large cannon they bought at Keine's suspicious store, then they slowly unwrap Kyo from inside a second sack.
Chiyuri lets out a quick whistle of admiration, then says "that's one ugly cannonba-"
Before she can finish, Renko rushes to her and covers her mouth, whispering "careful, you idiot! That thing is VERY volatile!"
Yumemi approaches the girls and whispers "it's a time-bomb cannon. Once we unleash it, the opposing ships WILL sink. It was a guarantee from the suspicious Keine."
Chiyuri suddenly smiles wide, then gleefully says "if the suspicious Keine said so, then it's a fact! Load it up, and fire... at HER~!"
Renko looks at Chiyuri with confusion in her eyes and asks "her, captain?"
Chiyuri's eyes narrow sinisterly as she looks at the two girls, who after a few moments, suddenly get her meaning.
Meanwhile, at the unnamed ghostly ship, Yuyuko lies on her side on the deck, wearing her undersized yellow bikini while reading the very same magazine from the boat race... you know, from the first Boat Race down at Nitori's resort.
Lunasa, Lyrica and Merlin, all wearing their pirate outfits, approach Yuyuko, salute her, then Lunasa says "captain, we are back with the report!"
Yuyuko suddenly stands up, stretches her arms above her head, making her breasts jiggle around, which get Merlin's full attention, then says "good. You may go on with the report."
Lunasa and Lyrica salute Yuyuko, and Merlin is nowhere to be seen, then Lunasa say "their honey stores were raided already, but they somehow restocked. They must have a secret, but we couldn't find what it was."
By now, the two Prismriver sisters know where their blue-haired sister is.
Merlin floats to Yuyuko's left, wearing a white micro-bikini and is comparing breast sizes.
Lyrica sighs, but decides to go on with the report, and says "umm, well, miss Byakuren gave us tea, and it wasn't poisoned, AND, more importantly, she wishes to know how was the melon bread she made for you. Um, I mean, the MEAT bread. ...Yeah, meat bread."
As she says this, she looks at Yuyuko's and Merlin's chests, then starts looking at her own, same as Lunasa, whose face has turned blue, and her eyes have become teary.
Yuyuko, on the other hand, smiles as she places her right hand on her chest as she giggles, then says "that Byakuren is so thoughtful."
Merlin starts floating above Yuyuko's head, and with a mischievous smile on her face, she says "and that Captain Murasa girl insists you are a middle-aged woman."
A red aura bursts from within Yuyuko, ripping her bikini to shreds and instantly replacing it with her pirate clothing, her eyes start to glow blood-red, her whimsical smile is nowhere in sight, and is replaced with a fearful stern look that even Merlin feels, even though she's actually behind the ghost princess.
Lunasa and Lyrica hold each other as they shiver away, then Lunasa asks "um... a-a-a-are you a-alright l-lady Yuyuko?"
Yuyuko sinisterly smiles, brushes her teeth, grins with a sparkle at the two girls in front of her, then sinisterly says "that leather-tailed mollusk wants war, I'll give her HELLISH war! Konpaku!"
Youmu appears in front of Yuyuko so suddenly, she looks like a beam of light for a few seconds.
She salutes Yuyuko, gasps when she notices her mistress' state, then asks "sh-she insulted you again, Yuyuko-sama?"
Yuyuko simply grins, her eyes completely covered in a dark shadow, showing only a reddish-white dot instead of her eyes, and in that evil and sinister tone of voice, she says "captain the summon cannon. That little excuse for a ghost-bitch is going DOWN!"
Youmu gulps, nods, then rushes toward a lone cannon that just happens to be over the ships portside (left side, man) now, even though it wasn't there just minutes ago.
Merlin, still wearing her bikini, approaches Youmu as she preps the cannon, then asks "what's a summon cannon?"
Youmu turns her head to look at Merlin, stares at the poltergeist's chest, looks down at her own, sighs, then says "just watch and be amazed."
At the Palanquin, showers of cannonballs and magic bullets rain down on the ship, accompanying the deafening sound of deafening cannon detonations.
A cannonball breaks off the starboard (right) rails, then Minamitsu, who has just fired a shot from her ladle, shouts "Naz~! Get the new cannon ready and take down that fake captain's ship! The rest of you, concentrate fire on the ghost ship! And someone fix that rail before Hijiri-"
Byakuren walks next to the broken rail, minding her own business while ignoring the incoming fire and picking up small white flowers on the deck.
As to how the HELL she's actually doing that is anybody's guess.
She hums after picking a few more flowers and adds it to the impressive collection she holds against her chest, looks at Minamitsu and waves, the captain waves back, then gasps after Byakuren falls over the ship while screaming "whoop, I fell over again~!"
Daiyousei quickly jumps overboard, shouting "ACK! There's a shark in the water! I'll save her!", then Minamitsu face palms, groans, then says "I don't care about the situation, these damned random occurrences are giving me a headache!"
A silver washtub falls on the captain's head, knocking her down after a loud CLUNK, knocking her hat off as well, then rolls away from sight.
Minamitsu slowly pushes herself up, ignoring how Daiyousei is giving CPR to Byakuren, who suddenly starts spitting water and coughing violently, and picks up her captain's hat while trying to recover herself from the dizziness.
After recovering herself, and Byakuren is hugging Daiyousei for saving her on the background, even though this is making Shou jealous, Nazrin, whose voice sounds muffled, loudly says "summon cannon is ready, captain!"
Ignoring how Byakuren grabs Shou and Daiyousei and give them both a hug, just to get blasted by an exploding blue bullet, Minamitsu smiles at Nazrin and says "great! Let's get it ready!"
She approaches Nazrin, who removes a pair of rubber gloves, a disturbing mask, and says "awaiting your command, captain."
Minamitsu closes her eyes as she smiles, and images of past events that never happened cross her mind.
The images are very vivid, and reenact events like that time she did not save Nue from the raging sea-currents, or that time she didn't sale through a hurricane in search of treasure, or who could forget that time she didn't fight a whole armada while using a maelstrom to speed up her own ship.
She opens her newly determined eyes, points forward, then shouts "FIRE SUMMON CANNON~!"
At the same time, Chiyuri shouts "FIRE TIME-BOMB CANNON~!", and Yuyuko shouts "FIRE ALL~!"
Minamitsu fires a screaming Ail at Chiyuri, Chiyuri fires an angry Kyo at Yuyuko, and Yuyuko fires a sigh-in-defeat Rinnosuke, whose silver hair pulls back as he is propelled through the air, at Minamitsu.
As Ail, Kyo and Rinnosuke fly through the sky, all tied up so they can't escape, a purple swirling vortex opens up right in front of Ail's path.
That vortex leads to Damien's newly remade Makai; more precisely, straight into a large coliseum that rests under a seemingly peaceful sky, where Damien and an army of demons of all shapes, sizes, appearances and colors await for Ail.
Damien snickers, then says "remember my servants, I get the first shot! You may beat him to death AFTER I am done."
The creatures nod in consent, then Damien eagerly says "here he comes!"
A large blue ceramic bathtub enters through the void, making it close afterward, surprises Damien into a strange state of shock, with bulging eyes, stiffened-straight hair, and a stiff body, then crashes no to his head, bouncing off him, then landing neatly on the stands.
Damien starts to walk around in a circle, then falls to the ground, then all of a sudden, one of the demon shouts "SAVE THE MASTER!", then all the demons scream as they all jump on Damien, trying to save him from... not sure what exactly, but they are trying to save him.
Damien screams out in pain as his slaves beat him with clubs, iron-knuckles, and teddy bears, all shouting "save him!"
"Don't let Ail escape!"
"Get Damien out!"
"Someone get a lawyer!"
Amongst the screaming, thuds and muttering, Damien's voice comes out clearly as he starts to groan first, then his groan becomes a thunderous scream of rage.
The sky turns blood-red, wailing winds howl loudly, then Damien pushes all his slaves away after just standing up and raising his arms.
The ground beneath them trembles, and after finishing his rage-burst, Damien looks around at his servants with his uncovered right eye.
He takes a few breaths, calms down, straightens up, smiles, the world seems to turn back to its seemingly peaceful state, then he says "you tried, my not-so-loyal servants, but no matter what you do..."
Damien raises his left hand, and from it, a black fireball appears floating just above his hand, a sudden storm hits, the skies turn dark again, then he smiles and says "I AM ALWAYS ABOVE YOU ALL~!"
The ground shakes as Damien screams these words, then he starts attacking all the demons with vicious bursts of black fire.
Meanwhile, Ail, Rinnosuke and Kyo fly by each other, Ail saying "what's up?", Rinnosuke saying "good day to you.", and Kyo saying "hey guys.", then zip on their way.
First to land is Kyo, then Ail, then Rinnosuke, who falls with an audio-tape player to his left.
On Chiyuri's ship, the girls get closer to Ail, all wondering what is the slowly-untying boy is doing on their ship.
Ail slowly gets up on his knees, and rubs his head with his right hand as he looks around at Tewi, Lily, Mima, Renko, Maribel, Chiyuri and Yumemi.
He smiles, pushes the rest of the rope off, then says "um, girls, you better keep away. They showered me with some weird aphrodisiac, and-"
Before he can finish, all the girls jump on top of him, and quickly start fighting over him.
Lily bites Chiyuri's arm, who kicks Yumemi's abdomen, who claws Mima's chest, who pulls on Maribel's cat ears, who has Renko on a figure-4 leg-lock, who is grabbing hold of Ail's left leg, who is trying to run away.
Ail tires to pull away from Renko's grip as he cries "c-come on, let me go! You guys, I'm serious, if you don't let me go now, you'll be very sorry!"
Suddenly, silence takes the ship after Mima asks "hey, what's that sound?"
There is a faint whooshing sound, along with a very faint scream that is becoming louder and louder as the seconds goes by.
Chiyuri looks at Lily and asks "is that you, Lily?"
Lily shakes her head left and right, then Mima says "whatever it is, it's getting closer."
Ail face palms while shaking his head, then says "I warned you."
The girls gasp when the clouds in the sky suddenly split apart, revealing a raging Sanae, her long green hair flailing with the wind, her white vest and long blue skirt seemingly ready to rip off due to the friction of the wind because of the speed she's moving at, and her gohei seems to be shining on her right hand.
The girls stop attacking each other and try to run their separate ways, but it's too late.
Just before crashing gohei-first on to the ship, Sanae shouts "Spell Card! Jealous Girlfriend Saves her MAN~!", then a blinding flash of light-blue light covers the entire ship in just seconds.
At Yuyuko's ship, the girls stare at the unconscious Kyo, who wears a green muscle shirt, a pair of black pants, a pair of wooden sandals, and his hair looks combed because of the wind pushing back on it as he flew through the sky.
Youmu cautiously approaches him, pokes his shoulder, then Lunasa whimpers and says "wait, you'll wake it!"
Youmu replies "but I have to make sure he's alive! And what if he's hurt? He's still human after all!"
Lyrica looks at Merlin, who is wearing her pirate outfit again, then asks "why the heck would they send him to our ship like that?"
Merlin shrugs while saying "beats me. He looks so weak and pathetic. Look at him, he's not even a threat."
Youmu suddenly yelps, then excitedly asks "what are you doing?"
Yuyuko has grabbed Kyo, and is spinning him by his left rib on her finger, like spinning a basketball, except he's not a ball, but a whole human, and looks as though she's not even putting any effort at all.
She looks curiously at Youmu, then says "oh, relax Youmu. Look, I'll put him down if you're that concerned. Oops..."
Yuyuko accidentally drops Kyo on the floor, but bends down quickly and picks him up again, this time standing him up as straight as she can, though his feet are up, instead of the head.
Merlin giggles, then says "a face only a mother would love."
Youmu face palms and sighs, then says "Yuyu-sama, you placed him the wrong way."
Yuyuko looks at Kyo's feet for a moment, flips him, then reveals Kyo is wide awake, growling softly while clenching his teeth tight, trembling as he balls both hands into fists, and slowly, his face starts turning red.
Youmu, Lunasa and Lyrica gulp loudly, while Yuyuko stares casually at Kyo and says "ohh, look Youmu, he's turning red."
Youmu grabs Yuyuko by her hand and shouts "TIME BOOOOOOMB!"
Kyo's growls turn to a raging scream, his red aura expands too fast for even Youmu to escape in time, then the entire ship flashes red.
Over at the Palanquin, Rinnosuke slowly gets up until his sitting upright and crossing his legs.
He wears his usual blue and black kimono-like shirt, blue pants, his belt-bag, which rests on his abdomen, a pair of white shoes, and a pair of glasses over his yellow eyes.
How the hell did his glasses survive the fall is a mystery to all.
Minamitsu, Kogasa, Nazrin, Shou, Byakuren and Daiyousei surround the half youkai all wondering what is his purpose, if any.
Minamitsu looks at Byakuren with cute, confused eyes, then asks "lady Hijiri, why would they send this guy over here?"
Shou takes a step forward and says "kick him off before he recovers!"
Byakuren lifts her left finger at Shou and says "now Show, that's not the correct thing to do, sweetie. Clearly, he is a youkai in need of assistance."
Daiyousei giggles and hugs Byakuren's arm, saying "you're an angel!", which makes Shou exceedingly jealous, evident in her longing, yet angry stare.
Kogasa gets closer to Rinnosuke, bends her knees to stare into his eyes, then smiles and says "he looks like a little lost lamb. Can I keep it?"
Nazrin seems to be the only one who remains suspicious of the man, then all of a sudden, she opens her eyes wide and exclaims "you IDIOTS, that's a summon-"
Before she can say more, Rinnosuke opens his mouth to speak, but the audio tape player activates, and his voice comes out of it instead.
The girls silently stare at the strange, magical device as Rinnosuke's voice loudly says "Aya ...Yukari ...Marisa.", then the tone of voice becomes flirty as it continues "I am willing to give you a sponge bath if you save me from these rum-soaked pirates."
The tape clicks off, then the real Rinnosuke sighs and says "this is the last time I listen to that ghost princess."
Nazrin panics and shouts "QUICK! Throw him! Throw him overboard, before it's too late!"
Rinnosuke sighs, then says "it's already too late. Real sorry about all this, ladies."
Completely unexpected, after Rinnosuke apologizes, Nazrin's cheeks turn pink as she gulps and stares unblinking at the silver-haired man, as though wanting to jump on him and do things that I just cannot mention now.
From the portside (left), a playful-sounding woman screams "darling Rinnosuke~! I'm coming for you! You can use your bare hands on me, dear!"
From above, Marisa, who wears her regular outfit, flies straight to the ship with her Hakkero already on hand, shouting "keep away from my Kourin, you yeast-ridden cuttlefish!"
From the starboard side (right), an annoying nasally girl's voice loudly shouts "ayayayayayaya! I've been waiting for this all my LIFE!"
Nazrin jumps on Rinnosuke, wraps her arms and legs around his torso and over his arms, and shouts "this kind gentleman belongs to ME NOW! Defense Sign, Pendulum Guard!"
Yukari, who wears her purple dress, her pink mop hat over her long blonde hair, and a pair of elbow gloves, shouts "keep away from him! Boundary, Charming Quadruple Barrier!"
Marisa shouts "you bilge rat, how dare you lay a hand on my Kourin! Star Sign, Dragon Meteor!"
Aya, who wears her usual ivory-white button shirt with the last button open, black mini-skirt, red sandals, and red tokin over her long brownish-black long hair, shouts "You'll never defeat the fastest reporter in the world! Illusionary Dominance!"
All four spells collide at once, creating a massive yellow orb of light, so blinding, that even you would go blind if you looked at it with sunglasses on, no matter HOW cool they may be.
Minamitsu raises her hands as she smiles with a narrow-eyes scowl, then shouts "to hell with EVERYTHING!"
Then the ship gets completely engulfed by the yellow orb of light.
All three ships explode at the very same time, the explosion being so darned massive, it wakes the blue-wavy-haired Remilia up from her deep morning slumber in such a violent manner, that she literally falls off her bed while desperately flapping her bat wings with all her might under her sheets.
Reimu, who wears her usual outfit, exposing her armpits as always, stares at the explosion from the Hakurei Shrine, awes at the sight, then gasps and exclaims "oh no! I left Rika at the brig!"
At the Human Village, in front of Keine's suspicious school, which obviously works as a suspicious shop when needed be, Keine and Reisen squint their eyes to look at the explosion, and after the lights-show ends, Keine turns to Reisen, then both slap their hands together, then they actually bro-fist.
With a grin on her face, Keine says "oh yeah, we make some NASTY cannonballs!"
Reisen, with a wicked smirk on her face, says "we're going pro, sister!"
At the blast sight, one would think the explosion would have disintegrated the ships, but instead, all three ships merged at the bow, making one nasty-looking flying object with questionable navigation, and horrible choice of grayish-black paint finish.
All the girls and boys on the ships look terrible, with burned clothes, burned and dirty patches of skin, and exposed underwear.
At the portside (left) of what should be Chiyuri's ship, Sanae has one very frightened and confused Ail held tightly around her left arm, while she fends off the hungry-looking Maribel, Lily and Mima with her gohei.
At the back of what should be Yuyuko's ship, Lunasa, Merlin and Lyrica, along with five other spirits, cower over a corner while Kyo prepares to jump off, holding a very disturbing and frightening look of pure rage on his face.
On the helm of what should be the Palanquin, Marisa, Aya, Yukari, and Nazrin, hold one of Rinnosuke's limb each, and even though he screams and groans in agony, each girl keep pulling him to her side, Marisa saying "that sponge bath is MINE!"
On the strangely merged center of the odd flying object are Minamitsu, Chiyuri and Youmu fighting inside a cloud, throwing punches, screaming in pain, groaning, biting, kicking, and throwing very offensive insults at each other, and they are of the highest of quality, and so, I cannot repeat them to you.
Yuyuko, Byakuren and Yumemi stand beside the fight cloud, staring on with a whimsical smile on their faces, but not one of them even tries to stop the fight.
The girls suddenly stop fighting, Minamitsu holding a straight hand aimed at Chiyuri's neck, Chiyuri biting down on Youmu's left calf, and Youmu pulling up hard on Minamitsu's pants, then all three girls ask at the same time "do you feel that rumbling?"
From beneath the deck of what should be Yuyuko's ship, Rika bursts right through, bearing her six pair of wings, her Soraogan mode fully activated, her family sword glowing with righteous fury, and Rika herself repeats "part of the crew, part of the ship! Part of the crew, part of the ship! Part of the crew, part of the ship!"
She suddenly raises a double-sided spell card and shouts "part of the crew, part of the... What am I saying? I'm loyal ONLY to miss Reimu and the Hakurei Shrine! TAKE THIS! Quicksilver, Ten'i nai Campeci Souhazan!"
The two bright extra pair of light wings on Rika's back spread around and engulf the strange flying object, Rika seems to disappear, and for the girls, only three seconds pass when Rika reappears just slightly to the left from where she initially was.
She sheathes her family sword, nods her head with a "humph!", then casually flies away back to the shrine.
Mima sighs with relief, then says "good. She wasn't as mad as I- ...though."
The creepy flying object suddenly has beams of silver light appearing all over it, all perfectly straight horizontal and vertical lines, and once it becomes narrow-squared grid, the ships becomes a raining heap of wood and sawdust.
On the ground, all the girls and boys, save for Sanae and Ail, who are eating each other away with kisses over on some conveniently flat rock, moan and groan in pain as they slowly get back up.
Chiyuri, Minamitsu and Youmu manage to lift their heads, then Minamitsu looks at Chiyuri and weakly says "s... see what you have caused, you stupid blonde..."
Chiyuri looks at Minamitsu and weakly says "thi... this isn't over. I-I'll die before I accept defeat."
Both girls look at Youmu, who rests her head on her left hand, and says "bah, don't look at me. Yuyuko is just having fun, and I have to follow orders. End of story."
Over on the sky, Kurumi flies toward the girls, points at Chiyuri, Minamitsu and Youmu, then cries "waah~! There they are, officer! Those are the girls that touched my wings!"
The girls lift their heads in surprise, then a strange woman flies next to Kurumi, patting the blond vampire's head and saying "don't worry little child. These fiends will never touch you again."
The woman has long red hair she ties into a small ponytail with a yellow ribbon, which, by now, is already reaching her lower back, and a set of ridiculously long sideburns.
She wears a purple kimono with red flower markings on the bottom of the sleeves and dress, and has red, intense eyes.
Kurumi sobs, looks up at the woman, then says "thank you, officer Kotohime."
Chiyuri manages to get on her knees, then angrily says "HEY! We've been blasting our asses off on your ships the WHOLE DAY! How can we have possibly molested her while we were doing just that?"
The other two girls sit on their knees, nod in consent, then glare back at Kurumi.
Kotohime gets in front of the vampire and extends her arms, to protect her, then smiles and shouts "You horrible being just added a few extra years in prison for that! Justice, Maniacal Girl!"
Red stars start shaping a large flower formation in the air, then rapidly head straight at the weakened girls, whom can only laugh at their own misfortunes as they wait for their inevitable meeting with pain.
Meanwhile, amidst the piles of wood and snowing sawdust, Agava and Nue free themselves from underneath a woody grave.
Both gasp for breath, then Agava says "free! F-finally free!"
Nue coughs, then says "my plan for getting rid of that Nazrin is RUINED!"
A beating heart rolls over to the girls, then Agava looks at Nue and asks "izzat yours?"
Nue looks back at Agava and rapidly shake shakes her nervous head, then asks "is it yours?"
Agava promptly stands up, pulls her own head off, sticks her hand inside herself, then pulls her hand away, places her head back on, then says "mine's still there."
Nue stares at Agava with a disgusted green face, and says "you are incredibly disgusting, you know that."
Before Agava answers, Mima floats by with a smile, stops and looks down at the beating heart, grabs it, stares at it, smiles again, swallows it, looks at the girls with a friendly smile, then says "I was wondering where that thing went. Thanks for finding it for me, girls. I tell you, last time it almost got stabbed."
Mima floats away, giggling as she says "can you believe that? Something about a 'Flying Dutchman', sailing the seas forever, and some other noise like that."
Both Agava and Nue stare at each other with fright, then Nue jump-hugs Agava to wait for the violent shivering to stop, then the shadow youkai says "I could go for some honey right about now."
To Be Continued...
Characters, Spell Cards and Scenarios belong to ZUN -Team Shanghai Alice-
Ail, Kyo, Luna Rivers and Agava were created by Willie G.R.
Rika Onkamikami was created by Snapshot 2010
Rika's Spell card:
Quicksilver, Ten'i nai Campeci Souhazan ((Complete Space Embrace Lunge)) by Snapshot 2010
Damien was created by Hydroviper
Other references belong to their respective owners. Credit where it's due.
DEC 25 2010
Written by
Willie G.R.
A/N:
Took some time, but I updated this. How did you like the references? Did I go too far? Nah! That's the whole point. To be random and hard to explain. But damn, too many characters, and there are still more to come! Still, that's the whole point, to cause a mess with as many characters as I can. Hmm... I wonder who else will jump ships next time? Oh well, expect more random references, random things happening at random, AND, more importantly, more suspicious dealings of the suspicious kind... suspiciously even.
By the way, the "boat race in Nitori's resort" is found on the Extra Chapter of Dear Friend from Sukima.
