A/N:

Sorry for the epic delay! Jeez, I actually got distracted by the holidays things and parties, got a damned writer's block at the middle of the chapter, and started lazing around as well, and an odd thing happened on my Fanfic account, and all my alerts had been disabled, as well as my PMs, so I took my time fixing that and making sure it was ok. But I did it, and I finished it! Know there are LOTS and LOTS of references here; so many, that I lost count! Oh, hope you can spot, and identify the one reference used in the Scarlet Devil Mansion scene *wink*.


Inside a dark and gloomy building, where screams of tortured bastards... er, I mean, tortured men, echoes through the dimly lit gray-stone-walled corridors, Minamitsu, Chiyuri, and Youmu, walk through with their heads down while being led by Kotohime, with their ankles and wrists shackled with heavy irons, and their outfits dirty, as though they've been in there for ages, when in reality, it's only been two minutes.

They finally reach their cell, where Kotohime takes off their shackles, one-by-one, and pushes them in, closes the iron barred doors, and says "molesting young and cute vampires is against the law. Perhaps some time to think about what you have done will enlighten you."

As she steps away, Youmu rushes to the gate and cries "but I'm a little girl too~! Besides, I'm younger than that vampire!"

Minamitsu face palms, then adds "you stupid human, how many times do we have to tell you?"

Chiyuri stands up and stomps her right foot, then says "we were blasting each other with cannons all day, so we never even got NEAR that vampire!"

Kotohime stops walking, slightly turns her neck left, so that her vicious left red eye is seen clearly, then sinisterly whispers "oh, I know. I paid her with a jar of my blood to get you into custody."

Youmu opens her eyes wide, then furiously rattles the prison cage gate while shouting "you sick psycho-bitch, when I get my hands on you, I'll-"

Kotohime turns around and rapidly walks toward Youmu, and when they are face-to-face, glaring at each other, and breathing heavily while doing so, Kotohime says "one of your damned stupid cannonballs crashed RIGHT on to these prison walls, and thanks to you, I'm going to have to remodel, so I might as well punish you hard, and I swear, I will not stop until you start LIKING the pain!"

After analyzing Kotohime's words, the three jailed girls look at each other, then at the back wall, then realize it's just about ready to crumble, so Chiyuri smiles confidently, pokes the weak-looking wall, then the gray bricks drop and turn to dust on the floor.

There is a strange, and very familiar chime from a certain world, of a certain green-clothed hero, that echoes all through the prison, and now, after the smoke clears, there is a hole there the size of a palace door on the wall.

Kotohime's face turns blue when she realizes her blunder, then starts looking around her person for the keys.

While she does, with wicked grins on their faces, Youmu, Chiyuri and Minamitsu wave at Kotohime as they walk right out of the prison, and into the suddenly heavily packed village's market area.

As they walk out, Kotohime shouts "wait! I order you to stop right there until I get my keys, so I can put you in the other cell! I'm not done with you yet!"

After the first two girls leave, Minamitsu stays behind to grin at Kotohime, and says "this shall be the day you shall always remember as they day that you ALMOST imprisoned Captain Minamitsu Murasa!"

With those words, she salutes Kotohime, who is going through each key to open the cell, then runs straight out the wide opening.

Finally, Kotohime opens the gate, then runs to the hole on the wall, but stops when she realizes they have gotten lost between the human mob, failing to look up at the sky, where Minamitsu and Chiyuri are mooning her as they fly away.

The princess sighs, then says "dammit Kotohime, you really need to start thinking things throu- hey~, what's this?"

On the ground just outside, right next to the prison's wall, Kotohime finds a cute little glass figure of a small fairy in a tutu, raisins her hands above her head while balancing on one foot, glued on to a round mirror platform.

She now smiles and giggles as she inspects her newly acquired useless treasure, then says "so cute. I better get this inside!"

As she exits toward the front of the building, she shuts off an old record player, stopping the screams and moans of the tortured men, pulls on a curtain string, and reveals a VERY clean, white-walled prison behind the dimly-lit one, then takes her new item to a room full of junk she has collected over the years, and she seems to be doing a great job of rivaling Marisa's collection already.

Mountains of junk, knickknacks and books, as well as items from the outside world, pile up all over the room, some piles threatening to fall over at any given moment.


Fifteen minutes later, Youmu reaches the miraculously airborne ghostly ship, which is actually in perfect condition, which is surprising when you consider the damage Rika Onkamikami had caused after her sudden outburst.

The moment the half ghost places her foot on the deck, her ghost half rushes to her and twirls around her, like an excited pup, then Lunasa, Merlin, Lyrica, and the jagged-toothed grinned Chen, with her two swaying cat tails, approach her with odd looks on their smiles.

Merlin pats Youmu's back and says "welcome back, Youmu-san! So glad to see you back so soon!"

Lyrica grabs Youmu by her shirt over her shoulders, then says "we can't find captain Yuyuko anywhere!"

Lunasa pulls Lyrica and throws her away, making various unnecessarily loud crashing, glass breaking, and squealing gargoyle sounds, then calmly says "she said she wanted to go look for some way to free you, but-"

Before she finishes her explanation, the large clock tower over at the Scarlet Devil Mansion starts to play its bells, its morbid chime echoing all the way to the Bamboo Forest of the Lost.

Over at said mansion, which rests in the middle of a small island, which is full of many beautiful trees of many shapes and sized, which is at the back-center of the Misty Lake, which is a really good vacation spot, which should be great for attracting tourists, the usual peace and quiet is disturbed by the sounds of explosions, crashes, screaming girls, disturbing crunching and munching, and the sound of the clock tower bells playing their song.

Form inside the mansion, a loud and angry young girl's voice is heard shouting "Sakuya, get that damned ghost OUT OF MY MANSION!"

An elegant, calm, yet strong young woman's voice is heard shouting "Meiling, cover her escape!"

A proud, yet somewhat childish-happy and strong woman's voice is heard replying "I'm sorry, Sakuya-san! She went right through me."

Sakuya's voice is heard shouting "Patchouli-sama, above you!"

A peaceful, soft, yet cold young woman's voice says "Koakuma, prepare the trap, just like in that book!"

A happy, and mischievous young girl's voice replies "will do, Patchouli-sama! Just need to roll it underneath her and..."

There is a loud buzzing sound, followed by another, more subtle buzzing sound, then a screeching electrical noise, then Patchouli shouts "wait! Don't cross the beams!"

There is a loud explosion, then a loud, happy, peppy and hyper girl's voice loudly says "kaboooommm! This is fun! More! Do more!"

A whimsical, happy, and peaceful woman's voice replies "I'm sorry dear, but it's time I went back to my ship. See you all later~!"

Silence returns to the island, and for a few seconds, it seems everything is returning to normal, so Remilia sighs and calmly says "finally. What was her problem? Anyway, Sakuya, make sure to clean the-"

There is a sudden rumble, accompanied by a thunderous roar, then Yuyuko's voice echoes along as she asks "mind if we make a little side-trip?"

There is a second roar, then a voice equal to Meiling's, only fiercer and colder, replies "get off my damned BACK, you slimy old hag!"

There is a sudden bang, Kimi's mighty thunderous roar, then Yuyuko's voice, sounding sinister, says "call me a hag again, and you'll be swabbing the deck with your tail. ...Now move, or you'll get another! And take that creepy shadow with you!"

A raspy, unfriendly, and rather irritant girl's voice suddenly shouts "hey, what the hell? Let me go you... WAUGH!"

Kimi's large snake-like dark-green dragon body slithers away through the air from the back of the Scarlet Mansion, carrying one smiling Yuyuko on her neck, who is wrapping a very tight arm around Kali's neck, chocking the poor shadow of a shadow youkai.


Moments later, at the unnamed ghostly ship, Youmu is already extending her hand to help Yuyuko up to the deck, but instead, Yuyuko tosses the shadow girl at her, making Youmu tumble backward with the girl on her hands, then climbs up the ship on her own, promptly followed by one annoyed, yet somewhat frightened Kimi Hong.

The long light-orange haired dragon wears a brown caribbean pirate's hat, a closed sleeveless light-brown vest closed by crossed strings just under her breasts, a short-sleeved white turtleneck shirt with slightly puffed sleeves, a pair of tight black pants, a brown belt with a golden buckle and sheathed sword, a pair of brown ankle-high boots, and wears a strange high-tech eye-patch over her left eye, which is actually black with a red pupil that seems to be surrounded by white flames.

When Kimi takes a look at herself, her look of disgust is replaced by a surprised, and thankfully enough, amazed expression, then says "huh~ I'm not sure when exactly did I change, but this isn't half bad. I LIKE it!"

After looking at herself, she realizes she just zoomed in on her own shoes, and the words "kickass boots" appears written in red right in front of her.

She gasps and looks at Yuyuko, who smiles and says "work for me, and you'll get to keep that for good."

Kimi smiles in such a vile and disturbing manner, she looks like a super-villain, and while she salutes Yuyuko, she says "I decided not to eat you; not only because of these awesome clothes, and the fact that you are Hakurei's friend, but because I am actually starting to like you a little, ma'am."

Kali and Youmu groan as they get up on their seat, and when Kali looks at Kimi's new attire, and especially the new accessory, she gasps, her face twists with immeasurable amounts of fear, and thinks "I'm so damned screwed!"

Kali has her white hair made into buns, and wears a worn, long brown shirt that covers down to her ghostly bottom quite well, and tied around her waist is a black belt with a silver buckle, which has a hand-guarded hilt sword sheathed to the left, her usual golden necklace, and a pair of large golden earrings.

Kimi stares at Kali, smirks, then says "what a pathetic attire..."

Kali starts to shy away, doing her best to keep her red eyes away from Kimi, then the pirate dragon scoffs and says "so that's your bust size. Good. Keep it that way and we should be fine."

Tears hang just underneath Kali's eyes as she crosses her arms over her chest and cries "stop staring at me with that thing!"

Kimi grins, then turns around to look at Yuyuko, who is now surrounded by the Prismriver sister, and Chen.


Yuyuko seems worried about her crew giving her such angry and disappointed looks, but inside her mind the images of sweets and tea float by, completely disregarding the fact that she may be in trouble.

Yuyuko sighs, then asks "is something wrong darlings?"

Youmu approaches Yuyuko and says "captain, the crew, and that includes me as well, were expecting something a little bit more... sweet."

The other girls nod in assent, then Youmu continues "what with Marisa's house going all red-hot, reclaimed by the witch!"

Down at the Forest of Magic, in front of Marisa's house, Marisa summersaults forward, then kicks a spirit on what should be the face while screaming "hya~!", abruptly lift her right fist and strikes another spirit that was right behind her after screaming "hwa~!", then twirls her broom on her left hand with amazing skill, moves the twirling broom around, knocks several spirits that were around her all over the place while screaming "whoooriaa~!", then stops the broom with the brush side on the bottom, and leans against it.

She takes a few breaths, stands up straight, lifts her broom from the ground, then twirls it and bends her knees as she stabs the top of the broom behind herself while screaming "ayiyiyiyi-TA~!", striking one last spirit hard on what should be its abdomen.

After she's done, she stands up straight, looks around at the mess of beaten spirits sprawled all over her front yard, then sighs and says "my honey! Go find your own."

Back at Yuyuko's ship, Yuyuko covers her face with a light-brown fan, then says "alright, if it's honey you want, take a look at THIS!"

The ghostly princess unwraps a small cloth with a double-ended key drawing, then asks "ladies, what should we do next?"

Lunasa, Youmu, Chen, Lyrica, Merlin, and now Kali, all look at each other, before Merlin asks "we should search for the chest this key unlocks?"

Yuyuko smiles, then says "hey, that's a great idea! Anybody have any idea how to get this chest?"

Kimi face palms hard, making a loud slapping sound, and while holding her face, she says "you idiots, why should we even go looking for a chest we don't have the key for?"

Youmu smiles at Kimi, then whispers "finally, someone with common sense", then says "right. First thing to do would be to find this key. I highly doubt a drawing of a key will do much."

Yuyuko lifts the cloth from her hand, revealing the double-ended key on her hand, then asks "you mean this key?"

Both Kimi and Youmu stare at the key with shocked eyes, but before Kimi can burst with rage, Youmu sighs and says "l-let's just go find the chest."


Meanwhile, Chiyuri compacts her special deluxe model monocular with high frequency noise-reducing microphone, capable of taking 3-D HD picture with a mere thought, and has a wicked portable gaming console installed, then places it in her pocked.

She then snickers and says "so, a chest, huh? Well, might as well... Miss Reimu, set sail after that ghostly ship! We are taking that treasure for ourselves!"

From behind her, Reimu replies "you know, as much as I'd love to, there's one problem... captain."

Chiyuri turns around with a smug smile and asks "and what would that problem be?"

Chiyuri gasps when she remembers she and her crew were just storming the Palanquin, and were failing miserably.

While Cirno, Rumia, Shou, Nue and Nazrin point their swords and fingers at Reimu, Rika, and Yumemi, surrounding them perfectly, the maiden says "we are STILL on the Palanquin, and they are kicking our asses."

Chiyuri blinks twice, then realizes Minamitsu is right behind her, poking the back of her neck with her ladle, and with a mischievous tone of voice, the captain says "treasure, eh? Better leave this to a REAL captain. Now, bye-bye... Raging Storm, Blowing the Bitches off MY SHIP!"

Minamitsu's eyes glow aquamarine for a moment, then her body becomes translucent, her eyes turn red, then a powerful gust of wind, accompanied by a shower of green, blue, red and yellow droplet bullets, sweep the intruding girls off their feet and blows them all the way back to the S.S. In Your Face Murasa, all while the bullets explode on the girls and the winds tear their clothes off, leaving them in just their underwear by the time they reach the ship.

Both Reimu and Rika wear a sarashi and a pair of white bloomers, while Chiyuri and Yumemi wear modern brassieres and panties; Chiyuri's are of smiling yellow fishes in a blue sea, while Yumemi's are of strawberry designs.

On the Palanquin, Minamitsu smiles with pride, then says "alright girls, we have treasure to hunt, so let's get- Huh?"

Her smile turns to a confused stare when she realizes the girls are all growling while glaring at her, and all because she accidentally ripped their clothes off with her spell, revealing their underwear.

Cirno and Nazrin both wear a white dress-like undergarment and a pair of short bloomers, Rumia wears a short string-sleeved undershirt and a pair of white bloomers, Shou wears a badly-wrapped sarashi, and a pair of tiger-striped panties, and Nue covers her bare chest with her arms, and wears a simple white panty with a cute little pink bow on the front.

Minamitsu blushes at the sight, smiles, then says "so, I'll be over at the helm if you need m-"

Before she can finish her sentence, she is bombarded by a most beautiful concentration of assorted danmaku she has ever seen..., but as you may have guessed, the beauty is equaled by the amount of pain she feels when those things start exploding on her face.


And so, they are off.

All three ships start heading toward one spot, with Yuyuko's ship on the lead, and Chiyuri's not far behind, while the Palanquin lags farthest, thanks to Captain Minamitsu Murasa's underwear problem.

As they sail along, over at Yuyuko's ship, Kimi rests her bored self over at the portside (left) rails, then thinks "even with this super-eye-patch thingy, I still think this is not WORTH IT! I need to get out of here and... wait... Wait, what's this?"

With that special eye-patch, she can see Meiling Hong, her original self, sleeping while standing in front of the SDM's gate.

She wears her usual green beret with a star that reads 'Dragon' over her long scarlet hair, which reaches all the way down to her lower back, her closed, sleeveless green vest over a white short-sleeved shirt, her long, green skirt over her long white pants, and her black slippers, which seem to look a lot more uncomfortable than they really are.

Kimi smiles brightly after sighting such a moment of weakness from the dragon youkai, then loudly says "enemy sighted!"

Merlin mysteriously appears to Kimi's right and says "that's not the enemy. She's not even on a ship."

Not expecting Merlin, Kimi twitches at the sound of her voice, grabs her by the neck, then says "don't do that, you creepy little poltergeist!"

Merlin simply smiles back, then asks "so, you just want to mess with that girl, don't you?"

Kimi's smile returns to her almost instinctively, then she nods rapidly while excitement fills her right eye.

Merlin grins with wicked malice, then sinisterly says "let's get her!"

Both girls rush over to the portside (lifts side, kiddies), and while Merlin takes the cannon, Kimi, who stands to the right of Merlin, closes her right eye to make better use of the zoom feature on her hi-tech eye-patch.

The dragon gasps with excitement when the little machine writes out the exact coordinates of Meiling, the wind trajectory and speed, and, coincidentally, the angle the cannon needs to be at so that it may reach the intended target.

Kimi's grin widens, then she says "this thing is so worth all of this! Aim that cannon at a fifteen degree angle up, twenty-eight degree angle left."

Merlin's grin turns jagged-toothed as she aims the cannon, and once she's set, she says "read and willing!"

Kimi raises her left hand, points up at the sky to signal Merlin to wait, then suddenly shouts "FIRE!"

The cannon goes BOOM, Kimi and Merlin smile widely, then wait as the cannonball whistles in the air as it flies straight to the unsuspecting gate guard.

Expectancy claims the dragon and ghost's faces, Yuyuko is having tea and dumplings, Youmu is serving the dumplings, Lunasa is playing her violin, Lyrica is polishing her nails, Kali is playing DDR in front of a randomly placed television on the ship's deck, and doing very well for someone without actual legs, and finally, the cannonball lands on Meiling, making the poor gate guard scream out loud along with a loud ka-boom.

Kimi and Merlin laugh hard while rolling around on the floor, holding their sides and shedding tears of joy after causing pain to another, and after calming themselves down, they take a few breaths, they look at each other, then they start laughing again.

Moments later, the girls stand up, then Merlin manages to stop laughing long enough to ask "s-so, how does she look now?"

Kimi manages to hold herself on to the rails to get a look at Meiling, then starts laughing hard as she says "oh my Gods! She sprawled around the floor like an old vegetable bag, HAHAHA! Oh, oh, and her pants burned off!"

The girls laugh some more, then Kimi starts to blush as her laugh slowly stops, then she gulps and says "and she's wearing... smiling-chibi-Sakuya-print panties, and..."

Kimi gulps again, a drop of blood rushes down her left nostril, then says "and... I've seen something good!"

She takes off the eye-patch, hands it over to Merlin, breathes heavily, says "I need air!", then rushes away from the rails, and into the ghostly shrine replica.

Merlin stares curiously at the seemingly useless eye-patch, places it on, looks at where Kimi was looking at, then blushes, smiles, drools, then says "oh, this is good. Her panties burned off."


Meanwhile, on the S.S. In Your Face Murasa's deck, the hot pirate Marisa uses her broom to sweep the deck, when suddenly... Iku!

The oarfish lands right in front of Marisa, wearing a black bandanna with a pink ribbon around it that looks like antennas over her short blue hair, a long-sleeved crimson shirt over a short-sleeved light-brown buttoned vest, a long brown skirt that covers all the way down to her feet, and a pair of black sandals.

Yumemi suddenly stands next to Marisa, and looking curiously at Iku, she asks "miss Nagae, what seems to be the matter?"

Marisa leans closer to Yumemi and whispers "hey, don't be talking to her, or she'll never leave."

Iku ignores Marisa's comment, takes a deep breath, exhales, then says "I come for one reason, and one reason only..."

There is silence.

Iku stares at the girls with s straight face, while Marisa and Yumemi stare back at her with wonderment and confusion.

Iku suddenly twirls in place, claps her hands twice while stomping on her left foot on the floor twice at the same time, and while taking a few elegant dance steps, she says "I've come... to FEVEEER!"

She spins in place, stops abruptly while facing the girls, places her left hand on her hip, raises her right hand in the air, then all the way over the Youkai Mountain, the Moriya Shrine explodes.

Marisa and Yumemi flinch after they hear the sudden explosion, recover, and look over the starboard (right) side, then watch as smoke rises from the rubble that once was a shrine just a second ago.

Iku stares at her risen hand, then frowns as she sadly says "oh no... Wh-where's the fever at?"

Chiyuri rushes over to the girls, stops beside Marisa and Yumemi in front of Iku, then excitedly asks "what the hell was that? Are we under attack?"

Marisa points at Iku, and unable to fully understand what just happened, she and says "somehow, she just made a shrine go boom."

From the crew's quarters, Reimu loudly asks "did something happen to my shrine?"

Marisa shouts back "no... No, it was the Moriya Shrine."

As if nothing important happened, Reimu casually replies "oh, then it's ok."

Marisa stares in disbelief toward Reimu's voice, thinking "that's so cold."

Chiyuri approaches Iku, points at the oarfish, then a silver washtub falls on her head, knocking her down instantly, then rolls away and jumps over the portside rails.

Yumemi smiles afterwards, then asks "do you want some tea, miss Iku?"

The dragon nods, then she, Yumemi and Marisa head straight toward the dining room with smiles on their faces, completely ignoring the unconscious Chiyuri twitching on the deck.


Over at the Palanquin, Minamitsu compacts her monocular, stares at the blue sky to her left, then says "I am following two idiots who are searching for treasure without knowing their own heading. Either I'm more stupid then they are... or my captain instincts are kicking in because we'll eventually arrive at the correct destination."

She lets out a quick breath of air, then look to the ship's deck, where Wriggle, Rumia and Daiyousei are going about their business, keeping the ship clean, making sure the ropes properly tied, and sliding on the newly-installed red slip and slide mat, now with a rubber-duck pool at the end of said slide.

Minamitsu smiles as the girls continually switch positions, somehow changing into swimsuits when playing on the slide, then change back to their pirate outfits, just after exiting the little pool.

The captain sighs, looks up at the sky, then says "yes... this is the essence of bliss. I shall follow them, and I just know that, somehow, we will reach out goals. So for now, play, my children, ...because once we make port, we'll be kicking asses and taking names."

She closes her eyes just as they pass through a large raincloud, and smiles as the wind and stinging-cold water smacks her on the face.

Meanwhile, below the deck, Nue hides behind three stacks of barrels, all tied to a pillar so they don't fall off, and peeks her head over the left of said barrels, then points her red eyes at a sole cannon that stands in the middle of the room, tied to a small piece of string that probably starts a trap that's overly complicated, and takes about five minutes to actually work.

Nue rubs her hands together and says "this will make that mouse stay far away from Kogasa! Jeez, I'm not done corrupting her, and she's already all over the girl! Well not on my watch! Ha! Here she comes."

Nazrin walks down the steps to the cannon room, talking to herself loud enough for Nue to hear, saying "mmm~, that pineapple salad was delicious!"

A little red flag pops on Nazrin's head as she continues "really put me in enough of a good mood to tell master how special she is to me..."

Another little red flag appears on Nazrin's head, then she continues "ah, and now I suddenly feel very nostalgic. So many awesome things I did back then in the day..."

Another little red flag pops on Nazrin's head, then a mouse runs to her with a broken paper airplane, crawls up her leg, hands the broken paper airplane, then jumps off the mouse youkai and scurries away.

Another little red flag pops on Nazrin's head as she angrily shakes her fist in the air and shouts "Andrew, you little twerp! That's the paper airplane lady Hijiri and I made this morning! Stupid!"

Nue chortles when she sees the four little death flags on Nazrin's head, then thinks "how fortunate! She's going to die for SURE!"

Nazrin finally notices the misplaced cannon, and after laying eyes on it, she stomps her right foot, groans angrily, then asks "who the hell put this cannon here?"

She looks around, groans when she notices there is nobody around, then growls and mutters to herself "seriously, I have to everything around here. Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

The moment she touches that cannon, Nue's tension rises and her mischievous red eyes and grin expand as eight more death flags rise on Nazrin's head, and then, right after the string snaps, she jumps out of hiding while pointing her right hand at Nazrin, then shouts "HA! GOT YOU!"

Outside the ship, Hina, wearing her long green hair tied in front of her chest with a frilly red ribbon, a large frilly red bow on her head, and a red dress with an unfortunate swirly green symbol on the bottom of the skirt, is flying in the sky with a smile on her face, humming a song to herself, and just as she opens her mouth to sing, she crashes against the Palanquin's bow, yelps upon impact, then falls to the ground below, crying "so unfortunaaaate!"

Inside the cannon's room, Nazrin stares at a pile of heavy barrels and steel beams with a completely unamused expression on her face, then says "really, all of that unnecessary machinery just to get owned yourself? You've been watching way too many cartoons, girl."

In a daze, with broken ribs, arms, legs, and ego, Nue lies underneath the heavy pile of deadly items with all twelve of Nazrin's death flags on her own head, but even as broken as she is, she manages to pull her right hand free, flip the middle finger at Nazrin, then she expires.

Nazrin shrugs, then turns around while saying "whatever. When you wake up, you better pick those up, or I'm punishing you again."


Over at Yuyuko's unnamed ghostly ship, Kali is mopping the roof of the shrine while on her shadow form, when she realizes she is being observed by the police princess, Kotohime.

After the shadow and the princess stare at each other for about five more seconds, Kali loudly says "Yuyuko~! There's a bitchy princess whose age is a mystery here to see you~!"

Kotohime stiffens her body as she shouts back "hey, I'm not bitchy, you black... skinned... um, thing!"

Kali snaps back "nice comeback, princess redhead."

Kotohime places her right hand on her chest and bows with a smile, politely saying "thank you.", then elegantly flies down to meet with Yuyuko.

Kali glares at the princess, then says to herself "that wasn't a compliment, you little virgin."

From the shrine replica, Kotohime shouts "that's none of your business!"

Inside the shrine, Kotohime sits on a cushion next to a small table, where some tea and cookies on a plate have been set for her, while Yuyuko sits at the other end of the table on a green cushion, with three cups of tea, five pates of cookies, and six plates with three dumplings on each.

Kotohime leans over to Yuyuko, then says "from one princess to another, you have to understand, your precious Youmu has a debt to pay, and if she can't pay with money, she'll have to spend a few days in prison!"

Yuyuko leans back, holding her chin while chewing on a dumpling and staring at the ceiling, as though lost in thought, then she gulps, drinks a bit of tea, gulps it too, looks at Kotohime with a whimsical smile, then says "there might be a way..."

Yuyuko leans closer to Kotohime until the two princesses are face to face, then Yuyuko whispers "we are currently hunting for a treasure chest of unknown size or origin, but we guess it's full of gold. Help us get the treasure, you get your money, fix your little prison, and everything is all good and happy again, savvy?"

Kotohime seems to be lost in thought, ignoring the tea she spilled on her lap is seeping through her kimono now, while Yuyuko straightens up and asks "how could you pass that up?"

Kotohime, ignoring the sizzling of the burning tea on her lap, straightens up, stares at Yuyuko with disinterest, then says "by remembering I serve others, miss Saigyouji."

Yuyuko giggles, then replies "oh my, it's not miss Saigyouji anymore. It's MISSIS Konpaku now."

Youmu enters the room with a tray of rice balls as that very moment Yuyuko says those words, and loses all her strength, drops the tray with the food, which Yuyuko catches with a whimsical smile, then asks "WHAT? M-m-m-missis K-K-Konpaku?"

Kotohime stares at the ghostly princess with surprise, then smiles and asks "wait, what? Are you telling me you mo-?"

Before Kotohime can finish, Yuyuko opens her fan to cover her blushing, smiling face, then says "oh my, no. Youmu came to me last night and... oh-ho-ho~, it's so embarrassing. I wasn't ready for her."

Youmu has now turned to stone, but that doesn't stop Yuyuko from grabbing her arm and pulling her on to her lap, and say "we are now one!"

Kotohime excitedly says "oh my, congratulations! May I attend the wedding?"

Yuyuko giggles and says "oh my, of course!", then looks at the stoned Youmu and asks "is that alright with you, honey?"

Youmu breaks free from her stoned state with a face so bright red and hot, she looks like she could fry an egg on it, and after stammering and flailing her arms around, she finally manages to say "n-no, wait! It's not like that at all! I... I just wanted someone to come with me to the bathroom!"

Kotohime blushes beet red, then looks away to the exit of the shrine to the left, and says "oh dear, what a shameless thing to say! Who knew such a sweet-looking girl like you was into that stuff."

Yuyuko has grabbed hold of Youmu again and has forced her to sit on her lap, yet Youmu is too distressed over the misunderstanding from Kotohime to take notice.

The half human gasps, then says "no, wait! It's not like that! You... you have to believe me!"

Yuyuko finishes Youmu off by opening her big mouth to say "oh, and I was just a pure maiden. Now, I belong to Youmu only."

Kotohime opens a fan and starts flapping it in front of her face, saying "goodness, such lewd girls."

The poor half human is left with one last course of action to save her reputation.

She starts to cry and rub her eyes, then shouts "Yuyuko-sama, you big jerk! Waaah~!"


At the Garden of the Sun, a well-known green-haired youkai woman with deceiving friendly-looking red eyes, who wears a red plaid vest over a long sleeved white shirt, a matching long red plaid skirt, and carries a pink parasol, which is actually a flower that never wilts, enjoys a very peaceful moment with her many colorful flowers by just staring at them with a very peaceful smile.

The warmth and light from the sun is suddenly cut off from reaching her and her flowers, and with a rather confused look on her face, Yuka Kazami looks up at the sky, curious as to what might be foolish enough to cover her sun, then spots three massive ships parked right on top of her field, one of them, painted black and gray, floats over her own house, and two of them, the black and gray, and largest of the three ships, are exchanging noisy blasts and colorful bullets, threatening to take her house down.

The left side of Yuka's lip stretches all the way back to produce one of the most disturbing smiles she can produce, and as her lip twitches, she closes her eyes, and as an ominous shadow covers said eyes, she says "my, my, my, my."

Immediately, Kurumi, the seemingly young blonde vampire, and Elly, a rather useless scythe-carrying gate guard appears right before Yuka, both standing in attention before the mighty youkai.

Elly wears a long dark-red dress with a pink capelet over her shoulders, a pair of pink shoes, and a light-pink hat with a red ribbon.

Before they can ask what is wrong, Yuka points up at the ships, so Elly and Kurumi wisely turn around to look immediately, then Kurumi's face turns blue at the sight, while Elly angrily sighs.

The girls turn around to face Yuka, then, with an ominous smile on her face, the flower youkai says "we have guests. Girls, make sure they are... well-cared for, ...you understand?"

Elly, and the disturbed Kurumi salute Yuka, Elly loudly saying "understood! Make them pay for taking away my dear Yukarin's sun before my boyfriend arrives! GOT IT!"

Yuka face palms and groans with a clearly visible frown, then says "him again. Keep the damned kisses to yourselves, or I'm going to ram this umbrella up your-"


On the unnamed ghostly ship, Kimi, Kali, Youmu, Chen and Lunasa stand in attention, as Yuyuko paces around them with her hands behind her back, the odd key hanging around her neck and stuffing itself in her cleavage, and holding on to a stick of sweet dumplings, which keep getting eaten, even though they are all the way on her back.

As the ghostly princess paces around, the girls follow her with their heads, waiting to hear her instructions.

Yuyuko walks to the left, then to the right, then to the left again, then stop, looks at the girls, opens her mouth, then walks to the right.

The ghost princess stops again, opens her mouth, then the extremely annoyed pirate dragon, Kimi Hong, loudly asks "so we SOMEHOW arrived at the right place, and now are waiting for orders! What the HELL are you damned orders?"

After shouting, Kimi looks to her left and mumbles "jeez, stupid middle-aged ghost woman."

Youmu, Kali, Chen and Lunasa now cower on the floor, hurdle together in a shivering embrace, where fear is the main course, and terror is the dessert.

Kimi looks at the girls with disgust, then very suddenly looks away from them with surprise and fright evident in her usually proud face.

The powerful and ominous presence of one pissed-off Yuyuko looms behind the dragon with glowing red eyes, open jagged-toothed mouth with glowing insides, her entire body has become a black shadow, and Kimi, being sensitive to looming presences, knows the moment she turns around, she is going to regret it.

The dragon doesn't need to turn around for the action to begin, and the four cowering girls whimper when the sounds of crunching bones, gushing blood, and the horrible screams of pain from Kimi fill the air.

Now there is just silence, and the girls, one by one, slowly open their eyes to greet one whimsically-smiling Yuyuko, who holds a brand new brown briefcase with a woven light-orange hair handle.

Tossing the dragon-skin briefcase at Youmu's feet, Yuyuko speaks in a stern, yet kind tone "take that with you.", then recovers her whimsical and playful tone of voice as she says "now, the treasure is probably guarded by someone, or something very fierce. It's a rule, so be on your guard."

Youmu grabs the briefcase, opens it up just slightly so that she and Lunasa can peek inside, and from inside, the sound of death metal, along with many flashing lights and explosions, surprises the girls to no ends.

Kimi peeks her head from inside, and as she glares at the Youmu, she angrily says "hey, close the door! You're letting out the awesome!"

With her eyes blown to twice the size of her own head, and with her silver haired, now standing on its ends, Youmu slowly closes the briefcase and whispers "no ...It's just impossible to explain."

Ignoring the shocked girls, Kali asks "so captain, what do you propose we do?"

Yuyuko unsheathes a well polished sword with a gold hand guard hilt, raises it to the air, then says "we spring the trap, of course!"

Chen recovers her wide jagged-toothed grin, unsheathes her saw-sword, then screams "shred their bloomin' faces off, MUAHAHAHAR~!"


On the S.S. In Your Face Murasa, while Maribel, Marisa, Mima, Rika and Yumemi fire cannonballs, magic bullets, and deadly, yet tasty spinning pizza slices at the Palanquin, Chiyuri has Renko, Lily, Reimu and Tewi standing in attention before her.

A trail of blue droplet bullets whiz past the left side of Chiyuri's head, and by tilting it right, she avoids being hit, and she does so while saying "...and so, we go down there, grab the damned treasure, stuff our hands between those two massive marshmallows, grab the key, then return here! Did I make myself clear?"

Before the girls can answer with a smile, a purple swirly portal opens behind Chiyuri, and immediately, Damien jumps out, raises his staff at Chiyuri, reveals the blood-red veined blades on said weapon, then says "alright, mister captain, I know you have Ail here! Give him to me, NOW! And don't you girls dare move, or I'll RIP his damned neck off!"

After saying that, Damien presses the blade on to Chiyuri's neck, then, looking infinitely confused, Reimu asks "what? Don't you mean her neck?"

Damien narrows his revealed right red eye, then points at Chiyuri with his left hand and says "no, I mean him! The one standing right in front of me."

Chiyuri's eyes are immediately covered up by a sickening blue colored shadow, small drops of sweat roll down her face, and strands of her hair start springing all over her head.

Renko scowls, sighs, then says "look, I don't know what your problem is, but, number one, Ail is not here. He's with his girlfriend somewhere! And number two, Chiyuri IS a girl, you stupid jerk! Just because we are flat-chested, doesn't give you the right to insult us in such a manner!"

Damien twitches, turns a violently-trembling head to Chiyuri, looks at her from her feet up, and the only thing he notices is her exposed hips, yet he still can't call her a girl just yet.

He gulps loudly, fills himself up with courage, then decides to look at her chest.

Horror fills his entire being when he looks further up, but when he fails to see much difference or filling, he sight with great relief.

He suddenly realizes Chiyuri's twintails, then fear starts taking him again.

The girls are right, and this flat-chested person is actually a girl, seeing as no man would actually wear twintailed hair.

Trembling, he slowly removes his weapon, takes three steps away, then asks "y-y-you really are a... g-g-g-girl?"

Chiyuri drops on her knees and starts to sob, and with a cracking voice, she manages to say "y-you stupid jerk *sob*! I am a cute girl! I am CUTE, dammit!"

All the girls kneel beside their captain and try to comfort her as best as they can, rubbing her back and speaking softly.

Reimu says "shh, it's ok. He's just an ass. You are cute, so don't cry."

Renko pats Chiyuri's head and says "it's ok, let it out. We can kill this bastard later if you want."

Lily leans her head on Chiyuri's left shoulder, pats the back of her neck, then says "there, there, your spring will come."

Tewi sighs and looks away, and trying to sound as friendly and tenderly as possible, she says "come on captain. Y-you don't have to get like that. Umm... I mean... I understand your pain, but..."

Damien stands just one step away from his vortex back home with a frightened look on his already pale face, and trying to sound villainous, but at the same time, understanding, he says "j-jeez, gimmie' a break. Don't go crying like that. I mean, j-just wear pads if you're so damned concerned!"

A knife flies straight and true, and stabs itself right on Damien's forehead, sending him tumbling backwards into his vortex, which closes off as soon as he enters it.

Reimu is the first to turn her head, and only manages to see the silhouette of a short-hair woman with dual braids for sideburns, wearing what looks like a maid's dress, and a cool-looking scarf around her neck.

The mysterious woman disappears from sight long before the other girls turn their heads, then Reimu whispers to herself "who ...who was that?"


Over at the Palanquin, Cirno, Daiyousei, Nazrin, the revived Nue, the little red-haired fairy, and Wriggle, each man a cannon, and along with many cannonballs, and magical bullets, they also prepare to fire Kyo, Rinnosuke, and Aya, whom are all tied up while inside the basket of a brand new, conveniently positioned catapult.

Shou pays the suspicious Keine with a large sack of money, and after she looks inside the bag, the suspicious Keine smiles and says "don't worry. As long as the rope holds up, you can shot them over there as many times as you want."

Shou sighs while rubbing her forehead, then replies "thanks. The last cannon you sold us was only good for one shot."

The suspicious Keine grins, then says "no it's not. You can always load Kyo, Yuka or even Remilia, and you should get similar results."

Shou stares back at Keine... um, I mean, the suspicious Keine, then turns her torso to look at the lonely cannon over at the portside, then turns around again to address to the suspicious woman, but instead, she finds she now holds a folded yellow piece of paper on her hand.

As she opens the paper, she ignores the suspicious Keine in the sky, who shouts "you'll never catch me, princess copper!", who is being followed by Kotohime, who replies "that's OFFICER Kotohime to you! And when I get my hands on you, I'll close off your suspicious shop!"

Both girls fly back toward the village, while Shou reads the letter left behind.

"Dear customer, I am sorry I had to leave so soon, but duty calls. Remember that for all your ship upgrades and needs, come visit the suspicious Keine's store in the center of the village. Bring money, and just one friend. Don't want that cop sniffing around."

Shou finishes reading the letter, crumples it up, tosses is behind her, it explodes violently, sending Byakuren screaming while flying forcefully in the air, then says to herself "lady Hijiri, if you'd just stop Murasa already... *sigh* ,but whatever. You are still... Hijiri."

A gigantic translucent image of Byakuren appears on the sky, smiling back at Shou with a shining face, then a cannonball flies through the image's forehead and breaks it apart at the same time as the real Byakuren crashes against the door to the sleeping quarters and groans out in pain.


Meanwhile, down on the darkened shores, er, I mean, lands of the Garden of the Sun, Minamitsu, Ichirin, Unzan, Mystia and Rumia, walk toward Yuka's house in search of that unknown treasure chest... and what's more, without a compass, or anything to seemingly guide them.

As they approach the seemingly small house with light-blue roof, light-red walls, and full of vines that have small white flowers with red centers, Ichirin starts to get cold feet and says "m-maybe we should turn back... while we're still alive."

Minamitsu turns her eyes left to try and look at Ichirin while saying "don't chicken out on me now, sailor! My instincts say there's treasure over there, and we're not leaving until we get it!"

A small black treasure chest flies straight out of the right window if the small house, and lands right on Ichirin's head, then bounces on to Rumia's hands, who catches it and asks "is that convenient?"

While Ichirin lies curled on the ground, holding her head with both hands to suppress the pain that throbs ever so sharply on the massive bump on her head, Unzan and the other girls get their ears closer to the chest, and quickly enough, the sound of a beating heart surprises them all, and even Rumia yelps, drops the chest, and jumps away from it.

From inside the chest, the thump-thump gets faster and louder, and comes accompanied by the muffle sound of a little girl's voice, who says "hey, what's the big idea? Stop tossing me around and get me out of here, dammit! I really need to use the bathroom!"

Ignoring the little girl's cries, Minamitsu exclaims "what the hell? A heart? That's the treasure?"

Ichirin grunts as she gets up from the ground and says "I told you we should have gone back."

Rumia and Mystia hug each other tightly, and while trembling, Mystia says "w-w-we sh-sh-sh-should leave that here."

Rumia nods a trembling head and adds "severed hearts don't beat on their own! I-i-it's just not natural!"

Unzan approaches the chest, gently picks it up, opens his mouth, then Minamitsu angrily says "no way! I'm not letting that ancient ghost, or that captain wannabe touch this thing! No, we are taking this back to the ship, and that is FINAL!"

KABOOOOOMMMM~!

There is a loud explosion up in the air that startles all the girls on the ground, and when they look up, Chiyuri's ship is on fire, and the numbers in white '24780' appear above it.

Minamitsu smiles, salutes the burning ship, grins with malice, then says "I knew buying that catapult cannon was a good idea."

Very suddenly, Kurumi appears flying behind Mystia and Rumia, then startles said girls when she shouts "got you! Stealing from miss Yuka's house! I'll have your heads!"

Flowers of all varieties start springing up from the ground, between flower stems, and even from the ivy on the walls of Yuka's house, then all grow stems and leaves that makes them look like humanoid creatures.

Minamitsu gets so nervous at the sight of Kurumi, she loses all her nerve as she points at the vampire and shouts "RUN! Molested vampire is going to get me arrested~!"

The girls immediately run toward Yuka's house, while Kurumi shouts "HEY! Don't run away from me like that! At least TRY to touch me! Get them!"

The flowers suddenly spring swords out of nowhere, then chase after the Palanquin girls.

After the flowers leave, Kurumi remains where she, holding her chin as though lost in thought, remembers what she just shouted out, then says to herself "wow, now that I think about it, that came out completely wrong in so many ways."


The sky has become dark and greenish, the flowers sway as violent gusts of winds start blowing out of nowhere, and now, thunder and lightning strike hard on the usually peaceful Garden of the Sun.

In the center of this sudden storm, standing firmly on the ground with their weapons drawn and held tightly, Chen and Lily stare at each other from across the only empty field in the whole garden.

Lily rests her large buster sword on her right shoulder as if it's made of cardboard, while Chen swings her saw-sword around, stabs it on the ground, flosses her fangs, then picks up her sword again.

The girls point at each other with their left hands, then Lily says "猫又" (you over there! Ready for round two?)

Chen reads the subtitles, grins widely, then replies "あなたはそのパイありがとう!これは美味しかったです!" (I'll beat you again, fairy!)

Lily reads the subtitles, then snarls and holds her sword in front of herself, and says "ウーッ!私はパンツを食い込ませることを得た。" (we'll see about that, CAT! Get ready!)

Chen reads the subtitles, hisses, revs up her saw-sword, then shouts "私の5セント貸して下さい!" (oh, you asked for it! Hya~!)

The girls lunge at each other, their weapons high above their own heads, then clash in the middle of the empty field.

On the sidelines, far away from the action, Chiyuri's, Minamitsu's and Yuyuko's hunting parties, along with Yuka, Kurumi and Elly, all sit on a set of stands made by Yuka and her flowers, and all cheer on the girls, edging them to eviscerate each other.

Even though they can clearly hear the bloody cheers, Chen and Lily continue to snarl at each other as they push back on each other's weapons, ignoring the cheering girls, and focusing on their fight.


Chen and Lily push each other away, then rush forth for another attack!

Lily swings left, Chen deflects and thrusts.

Lily sways left and punches Chen on the face, making her flinch and rub her nose.

Chen feigns dizziness, giving Lily a false sense of security, so the fairy jumps high in the air, raising her sword high above her head, and as she lands, she swings down as hard as she can, but Chen is waiting for her, and as soon as she's close, the nekomata swings upward with all her might, sending Lily spinning in the air, following after her, then kicking the fairy on the back, sending her spinning farther than she should.

The second Lily feels the ground on her back, she stabs her sword on the ground after her, stops abruptly, then uses the rebound momentum to lunge after Chen, taking her sword with her.

Chen stares at Lily with surprise, but prepares her defense while Lily flies toward her with her sword pointing at her face.

Both weapons clash so hard, the clanging sound from their weapons overpowers the sound of thunder that strikes just as they collide, then it starts to rain.

Although the drops of rain slowly intensify along with the vicious gusts of wind, the nekomata and the fairy continue their battle, striking at each other as fiercely as ever.

Chen swings left, Lily parries the attack and thrusts, but Chen rolls on the ground and threatens to cut Lily's legs off with her buzzing saw, forcing the fairy to jump and stab her sword on the ground beneath her, which causes sparks to fly when Chen's weapon collides with it, causing the young cat girl to screech in fright.

Lily takes her sword and summersaults in the air with it, hoping to take Chen out, but the nekomata is quick on her recovery, hops left just before Lily's sword strikes, then swings left to try and take Lily's head.

Lily manages to lift her sword in time to deflect Chen's attack, then raises her sword above her head, and swings with all her might.

Chen swings diagonally-up, and when both weapons meet, another loud clang causes a sound wave that makes even Yuka shiver, then the fighting girls push against each other with all their strength, and just like that, their weapons fly right out of their hands, spin in the air several feet away from their reach, then fall stabbed on the ground, crossing each other to form an 'X' shadow.

Chen and Lily back away, then stare at each other again.

Chen now wears a black karate suit with a black belt, and Lily wears a pink karate suit with a black belt as well.

Above their heads, Lunasa, Merlin and Lyrica, all wearing black shirts and pants, play an end-of-the-world theme, while Mystia, who wears a white shirt, black pants, and black brassiere, sings a loud choir that sends chills down the spectator's spines.

The Lunasa and Mystia that sit at the stands, stare at themselves in the air, then Lunasa says "I look good in black... but, white? Mystia, I can see your underwear!"

Mystia sighs, then says "that's the idea! The female vocalist must always look hot."

Lunasa gasps in surprise, then rubs her chin as she ponders on this thought.


As the girls play the epic song above, completely disregarding the rain and strong winds, Chen and Lily start taking steps around each other, not taking their eyes off one-another, then Lily points and says "time for a spring beat down!"

Chen hisses, then sinisterly replies "your wings will be my new cat teaser!"

Both girls scream and rush at each other with their fists raised, and when those two tiny fists impact, an invisible wave pushes the raindrops around them away from them, creating an invisible dome, then the strange force field disappears, and the rain flows normally again.

Chen and Lily continue to match punches, kicks, knees, elbows, and game cards, then suddenly jump to their right, landing on top of a large bed of sunflowers, yet walking on them as though they don't weigh an ounce.

Yuka gasps as she leans forward on her seat, then says "they better not mess my precious darlings, or I'm going to have to spank those adorable epic butts."

Lily and Chen run at each other while on top of the sunflowers, not bending a single leaf or petal on them, and right when they are in reach of each other, Chen joins her wrists together and pushes her open hands forward, sending a blue fireball at Lily.

The fairy bends back, and she and Chen start moving in slow-motion, while everything else moves at a normal speed.

The fireball flies slowly over Lily's body, and after a minute passes, and the fireball is out of reach, the two girls resume normal speed, and Lily springs back up straight with a righteous fist of fury flying straight at Chen's face.

Chen crosses her arms in front of her face, but even when so perfectly defended, Lily's punch sends her skidding backward, yet no sunflower is harmed.

As she starts to slow down, Chen raises her left knee, both her arms, then suddenly stops; a closer look reveals she has stopped by placing a toe on the very tip of a single sunflower petal.

Chen takes a deep breath, lowers her right hand to chest-height, then motions her fingers to taunt Lily into getting closer.

The fairy rushes forth, and when in reach, she and Chen resume their fight, matching punches, knees, elbows, more punches, and even flying kicks.

Finally, Chen clicks her tongue, then flies away to the sky, followed promptly by Lily.

The girls resume their fight in the air, throwing punches, pushing those away, kicking and jumping in mid-air to avoid those, throwing furious knees at each other and using their bare hands to push those knees away, then finally, Lily scores a hit on Chen's abdomen.

The nekomata can't help but hold her stomach after that sky-rattling impact, which is so strong, it causes another invisible force field to push the raindrops around them away, forming another giant dome, which lasts even longer when the girls start moving in slow-motion again, then resuming their fall as soon as the force field is gone and the girls move at normal speeds again.

While Chen holds her stomach, Lily holds both her hands above her one head, then viciously punches Chen down to the ground, making her fall for what feels like an entire minute, and finally, she crashes on to the ground, creating a massive crater in the very middle of the empty field.

The battle is over, Lily has won, yet she feels this isn't over, and stares at her fist with a worried, longing look in her eyes.

The storm stops, the epic concert girls disappear, and everything seems to return to normal, however, a strange silhouette looms behind the sunflowers bed, glaring with white furious eyes toward the crater in the center.


On the stands, Yuka leans back with a sigh, then looks at the blocked-by-ships sky and says "alright, now that the fight is over, it is time to punish you all for blocking out my sun and trespassing in my home."

She takes her parasol on her left hand, points to her left, and shout "now get read-", but quickly realizes all the girls have left the stands, leaving her to herself.

Yuka frowns, a tear escapes her left eye, then she sniffles and says "they didn't even stay for a snuggle."

She walks over to the crater left by Chen, and to her surprise, the little nekomata is still lying there, wearing her pirate outfit again, and snoring softly while sucking on her own thumb.

The flower youkai finds this adorable, and quite curious, so she decides to get closer and slides down toward Chen.

She stares at the cute, sleeping little cat girl, then giggles and says "that's so cute. Maybe I should keep her as a pet."

Yuka reaches for Chen, thinking of the so-many pranks she will play on her new pet, but when her hand is an inch away from the nekomata, something slaps it away, and with a surprised look on her face, Yuka looks forward and says "oh my, another adorable beast youkai."

Ran Yakumo, the nine-tailed kitsune shikigami, who wears a pink hat with seals all over that covers her fox ears as well, has short, but bushy golden hair, a long white robe-like dress with an indigo-colored sash on top, and white socks with indigo borders, glares at Yuka with those intense golden eyes of hers.

Yuka chuckles, then asks "does this little cat belong to you?"

Sternly, Ran replies "yes, she's my shikigami. Now, if you would be so kind as to get away and allow me to take her..."

Yuka chuckles again, and in a dangerously friendly tone, she says "oh dear, no, no, no. You trespassed into my territory and dare make demands? I'm going to have to punish you, little fox."

Ran glares at Yuka without moving an inch, then suddenly grabs her clothes from the middle, then rips them off with a furious roar.

A pair of black gaps with ribbons on the edges, and ever-staring violet eyes from within them, cover Ran's chest and groin, as the now naked kitsune stares furiously at the flower youkai.

On the ground, Chen suddenly moans, stretches, scratches the ground with her cute little claws twice, then starts to purr as she says "mm- Ran-shama... hehe, soft... warm tails... milk."

Both Yuka and Ran stare at Chen with intense eyes, as though ready to destroy the little, defenseless, sleeping nekomata with furious blasts, then their cheeks turn pink, blood gushes out their noses, then both fall over on their backs with smiles on their faces.

Lily, who wears her peg-legs again, flies over the girls as she crosses her hands over her chest, then exclaims "double k.o.! Flawless victory! You may go to the next level, Chen!"

The nekomata moans again, giggles, the smacks her lips and continues to sleep, knocking Lily out as well with blood on her upper lips, and a smile on her pink-cheeked face.


Somewhere over the Garden of the Sun, Minamitsu holds the beating chest with the little girl screaming from inside, and along with her, Mystia, Ichirin, Unzan and Rumia run as though their lives were in stake... because they are.

Behind them, Chiyuri's and Yuyuko's crew chase after the girls with weapons and fingers raised, yet forgetting to actually shoot their magical bullets at the running girls.

Minamitsu throws the chest at Ichirin and shouts "head toward the ship! We'll take care of these girls!"

Ichirin tries to grab the chest, but it slips right through her fingers, falls on her left foot, making her trip and fall face-first on the dirt, then the chest itself rolls twice before finally stopping.

From inside, the little girls shouts "HEEEEYYYY! What the hell do you think you are doing? What's going on out there?"

Minamitsu, Rumia and Mystia turn around to shoot at their pursuers, unaware of Ichirin's blunder, then fire at the girls with all they got, realizing too late that Ichirin is on the way and getting up from the ground, rubbing her head while on her knees.

Rumia stares at Ichirin, then shouts "ah, idiot, get out of the way!"

Too late! The magical bullets violently explode, stopping the chasing girls, and sending the chest flying sky-high, while the girl inside shouts "kyaaaah~! Stop it, please! I'm going to hurl!"

The chest falls upside-down hard, bounces once, then stops when it falls with the lock facing the ground.

Elly grabs the chest with a triumphant smile, holds it around her right arm, then says "ha! Nice try, but what belong to miss Yuka STAYS with miss Yuka!", then snaps her fingers three times in the air, annoying Mystia and Minamitsu.

The night sparrow rushes forward, grabs Ichirin, raises her above her own head, then throws her straight at Elly.

The useless gate/door guard places the chest close to her left ear, unaware of the sexy projectile flying her way, then asks "hey, where's the thump-thump?"

The second Ichirin's head makes contact with Elly's chest, a powerful reaction takes place, a whistle deafens all that are close by for a moment, then a massive explosion sends everyone flying scattered all over the garden, the sky, and even thrusts Youmu, Tewi, Renko and Ichirin herself, back to their own ships, forcing them to go through their ships bows, making large holes and taking 31 health points each.

Maybe not be much... but it's still annoying.


Back on the ground, Reimu, the only girl left standing, finds the treasure chest upside-down on the ground, gently picks it up, looks around with curiosity, then spots Yuyuko lying unconscious on the ground, and the key to the chest lodged between her breasts.

Reimu smiles, casually walks over Yuyuko, makes sure the to place a sleeping charm on the ghost's head, then stuffs her right hand in the ghost princess' cleavage.

Reimu looks up at the sky as though thinking while saying "hmm, let's see... Kind of cold in here. Now, a kitchen sink, pack of cookies, Youmu's panties, what the-, the Excalibur? A-ha! They key!"

After much searching through useless junk, Reimu smiles when she finally finds the key, then pulls it free from its soft, tight prison, raising it above her head as it magically spins just over her hand, and a familiar green-tunic-hero's treasure-GET fanfare plays ever so loudly.

Reimu takes a few steps away from Yuyuko, then kneels on the ground and gently sets the treasure chest in front of her knees.

From inside the chest, the little girl groans, smacks her lips, then asks "hey... is somebody out there? Please, get me out of here."

Reimu giggles, then says "don't worry, I'll get you out before one of these idiots wakes up."

Exclaiming with great relief in her voice, the little girl says "oh, thank you, thank you! Please, hurry! I don't know how long I can hold it in!"

Reimu sticks the key into the dual-keyhole, and from her right, Yuyuko shouts "Kimi, I choose YOU!", then the briefcase that is Kimi Hong flies straight on to Reimu's head, making her yelp loudly as she is flung away from the chest with a heavy briefcase on the head.

From inside the chest, the little girl shouts "wait, WAIT, just turn the key! NOOOOO~!"

Reimu springs back up on her feet and glares furiously at Yuyuko while shouting "hey, what the hell was that for, you large-breasted spectral fiend!"

Kneeling on the ground, bowing until she is literally kissing the ground, the restored Kimi exclaims "Hakurei maiden, I apologize for the disrespectful attack!"

Reimu bends down and pat's Kimi on the head twice, though keeps glaring at Yuyuko, and says "don't worry, those charges are all wet!", then straightens back up.

Yuyuko giggles, then points at Reimu and says "sorry miss maiden, but that treasure is mine. If you want treasure of your own, go to your donation box. There's a surprise waiting for you there."

Kimi stands up, staring angrily at Yuyuko, and says "hey, don't start lying to her now, or I swear I'm going to have to punish you. Right miss maiden?"

When Kimi looks to her right, she realizes Reimu is no longer there, and is already disappearing over the sky, followed by Rika, who shouts "my lady, what's wrong? Wait for me, please!"

Kimi looks back at Yuyuko in disbelief, then says "she actually fell for it... I'm so very disappointed."

Yuyuko pulls a massive red piko-hammer from her right pocket, then smiles and walks toward Kimi while saying "but I didn't lie. There is something waiting for her over there. Something very, very good. Now, you've been a very bad mutinous little dragon, so I'm going to have to punish you, sweetie."

Kimi only has time to open her eyes wide and scream "wait a min-", before Yuyuko smacks her hard on the head with the colossal piko-hammer and knocks her out with a triple bump on her head.


Yuyuko smiles as she kneels next to the chest, and says "finally, I get to open the treasure chest.", then slowly reaches for the key in order to turn it and claim its contents.

A blur on a thick rope swings from the right, and takes the chest away from Yuyuko, who pouts while looking to the left.

Agava now has the chest, and while holding it with her left hand, and holding on to the rope with her right, she spreads her legs up and shouts in celebration "ye-hea~! The treasure is mine, bitches! Ha, ha, ha!"

From inside the chest, the little girl growls and furiously shouts "dammit all to the ***** hell, and all you stupid **** idiots! Get me the ********* HELL out of here already!"

Agava stares at the treasure chest with surprise, laughs hard, then says "AWESOME! Just like Flandre when she gets pissed!"

Elly flies up to intercept Agava and take the chest while saying "ha! The chest is mine, sexy shadow!"

Agava doesn't notice Elly until it's too late, and accidentally smacks the left side of the chest right on the door guard's face.

The chest slowly slides off Elly's surprised and red face, then falls straight down to the ground.

Minamitsu gets up from the ground, and rubs her head while saying "boy, that was totally unexpected."

The chest falls right on top of her head, then bounces off, knocking the captain back down to the unforgiving ground.

Chiyuri sits on her knees, and when captain Murasa falls again to the ground, she points and mockingly says "ha-ha~! What a stupid captain you are! HAHAHA GUK!"

In the middle of her taunt, the treasure chest falls on its right side, right on top of Chiyuri's head, knocking her out with a pretty stupid look on her face, with her tongue sticking out and everything, then bounces off.

Kali floats above the ground, looking around suspiciously, then sniffs the air and says "I smell stupid sea-rats!"

The chest falls upside-down on her head, bounces and turns to the left and falls hard on the shadow a second time, then bounces again, spins rapidly, then strikes Kimi on the right temple, sending her flying through the air, then it bounces away with the poor little girl screaming from within.

Finally, the chest lands right in front of Yuyuko's knees again, then the ghostly princess squeals whimsically, and says "my, my, my, my, my! If this isn't destiny, I just don't know what is. Fu, fu, fu, never mind that now and let's already open this screaming chest."

She reaches for the key, turns it, then steam puffs form inside the chest, and a clanking noise signals the chest is open.


With a satisfied sigh and a smile on her face, Yuyuko pushes open the top of the chest, places her hands inside, then raises her hands above her head, and with a smile on her face, she exclaims "I got the treasure~ eh?"

Her victorious face turns to shock and confusion when, instead of some sort of treasure, like honey or gold, floating just above her raised hands, is a cute little girl.

She wears a cute red ribbon on her long blonde hair, a cute blue dress with an adorable little apron, a pair of cute little brown shoes, and wearing the most adorable pout on her face, which only gets cuter when you look at her scowling little blue eyes, and now Shanghai spins slowly and helplessly above Yuyuko's head.

Although she is finally free from the chest, she is now trapped in an invisible barrier that has her spinning very slowly.

Yuyuko's round white dots for eyes blink twice, and feeling more and more confused, Yuyuko asks "eh? Shanghai? You are the treasure?"

Shanghai can't take it anymore! Her face starts turning red as she remembers being inside that chest for who knows how long, being tossed, bumped, knocked out, thrown around, all while holding her need to pee, and now she's held against her will by some invisible barrier.

Her temper rises more and more, and Yuyuko realizes this will not end well, so as soon as Kali gets back up, she rushes to her, hands Shanghai over, then says "congratulations. You get the prize!", then runs away, leaving Kali to stare at the slowly spinning Shanghai.

The shadow girl asks "what am I supposed to do with this? Eat it?"

Something explodes inside Shanghai's head.

She wants to grab a sword and start chopping heads off; she wants to pee on the faces of all those present; she wants to shoot so much danmaku, she hopes she creates a massive crater because of it.

She takes a deep breath, holds it in, then all of a sudden, she breaks down and bawls "MAAAMAAAAAAAAA~!"

She rubs her teary eyes and kicks her feet while screaming out loud "MAMA! I want my MAMAAA~! WAAAAAAAH~!"

Kali panics, as she knows that when something this cute cries, usually the one nearest to the source becomes a mound of bloody organs, and that's when a light-blue and yellow blur flies near Kali and takes Shanghai away from her hands.

Kali blinks in order to properly analyze what just happened, and when she looks in front, there is a blond woman with short hair, wearing a red headband on her head, a white capelet over a light-blue dress, a white short-sleeved shirt under said dress, and wears a pink ribbon around her neck and around her waist like a belt, and comes accompanied by a little girl that looks exactly like Shanghai, save for her dark-red dress, and wears a tiny red flower on her hair, instead of a ribbon.

With tears in her eyes, Alice Margatroid and Hourai, the second small girl, hug the little crying Shanghai, while Alice cries and desperately exclaims "Shanghai, we've been looking everywhere for you! Where have you been? Oh, you poor thing, what happened? Shh, shh, there, there, mama's here! It's ok, I'm here."

Hourai sniffles and sobs, then says "sis, we were so worried! Thank goodness you are safe!"

Shanghai buries her little face in Alice's chest, crying so much, she can barely speak at all, and simply hugs Alice tighter and sobs away.

Even with her voice cracking so much, Alice understands when Shanghai says "was just ...my own business ...stuffed in ...chest! ...Thrown around ...it hurt ...they threw me ...and bathroom! ...Mean ghost lady!"

Alice gently rubs the tiny girl's head and manages to calm her down enough to stop her from crying so much, then sets her sight straight at Kali, a hundred ominously-glaring dolls spring all around the puppeteer magician, then she asks "where is Yuyuko?"

Kali's face turns blue and starts to tremble so violently, that it takes amazing effort from her to just point behind Alice, where all the girls, Unzan, and the spirits know why, but Kyo too, all hurdle up in a shivering ball of fear.

Alice tosses a doll at Kali, the doll explodes violently the moment the shadow touches it, but Kali finds herself virtually unharmed.

Alice slowly turns around, her ominous face with glinting eyes turning toward her new target, and in a dark and ominous voice, she says "that's your reward for not hiding that ghost bitch from me."

From the shivering mass of girls, Lunasa shouts "Kali, you traitor!", and Kyo adds "why am I here? Let me go, dammit! I had nothing to do with this! LET ME GO!"

Kali looks on as Alice gathers energy around her, then winces when the puppeteer unleashes such a powerful and insane curtain of bullets, Subterranean Animism's Lunatic Mode becomes EASY Mode in comparison.

The girls, Unzan and Kyo all scream in agony as the bullets continue to shower on and on and on, and while Kali covers her eyes, Agava walks beside her and says "well, this was bound to happen. I mean, the moment this story turned to a treasure hunt, I knew it was just gonna end badly."

Kali sighs, relaxes, then smiles after she hears Yuyuko groan with pain, then says "well, that ghost princess was right. I did get the prize."

Agava give Kali a small white cup filled with sake, then asks "and what prize is that?"

Kali gulps down the warm sake, smile, looks at Agava, gets a quick refill, then says "I get to watch her burn in flames of pain, while I drink sake in peace."

Agava fills her own small cup, gulps it down, then sighs and says "yeah, I guess that's a good prize."


Three hours have passed, and Kali and Agava are both dead-drunk on the ground, sitting with their backs against each other, hiccupping and laughing at nothing.

Several feet in front of them is a massive pile of bloody meat in censoring squiggles, steaming with heat from Alice's raging bullets.

Kali manages to point a the meat mountain, then says "eye new iz! d... diz ich whas hahens wh-when ute igs chry!" (I knew it! This is what happens when cute things cry!)

The pile of meat starts to rumble, and with a thunderous roar, Kimi, who is in her dragon form, breaks free from the steaming mass with all the others, except Kyo, on her back.

Minamitsu, Unzan, Mystia and Rumia are the first to jump off Kimi's back, then Minamitsu groans and says "that really hurt, dammit."

Chiyuri, Lily and Tewi are next to jump off, then Tewi says "what the hell was her problem? We didn't stuff her girl in there. It was those flower idiots!"

Kurumi and Elly are next to jump off, then Kurumi walks to Tewi, pokes her chest, then says "can it, rabbit girl! We bought that thing off the ghost princess fair and square!"

Yuyuko and Lunasa are the last to jump off, then Kimi turns back to normal, rushes to Yuyuko, grabs her by the vest, pulls her closer, then shouts "you annoying ghost form hell, why did you do that?"

Yuyuko giggles, and pokes her closed fan on Kimi's nose, making the dragon let go, then whimsically says "but I didn't know what was inside. I just saw something flying around and stuffed it inside, that's all. Then I sold it to miss Yuka for 100 coins."

Chiyuri is just about ready to rush to Yuyuko and strangle the damned ghost princess, but when she turns to do so, she notices a large metallic dome where Chen's crater was, then raises her left eyebrow and asks "hey, what the heck is that?"

The dome starts opening up, and the voice of Ran can be heard very clearly as she says "opening hatch! Take aim! Ready? MoonStone Cannon... FIRE!"

A massive yellow beam flies from the ground and goes straight at the three flying ships, which are still covering the sun, and after doing a damage of one-hundred thousand to each, The Palanquin and Yuyuko's ship quickly go down, the Palanquin heading toward the valleys behind the Forest of Magic, and the ghostly ship heading straight at the Moriya shrine, which is under reconstruction at the moment.

From the dome, a loud smack echoes toward the girls' ears, then they hear Yuka saying "it's called Original Master Spark, you mutt!"

Ran can be heard replying "yeah, yeah, the important thing is that it worked, so give me Chen back!"

Minamitsu stares at her ship and shouts "WAAAH~! What the hell is the meaning of this?"

Yuyuko stares whimsically at her ship, then says "on my, this is going to take a while to fix."

Lunasa stares at Yuyuko, frowns, then says "sure! You expect that me and Youmu will fix the ship on our own, AGAIN!"

Yuyuko giggles, then says "well, you can't expect a princess to do the dirty work, right?"

Mystia points at the S.S. In Your Face Murasa, then shouts "hey, why is her ship still airborne?"

Minamitsu looks up with a rage-filled face, then shouts "what the hell? That 'dingy' withstood a blast my precious Palanquin couldn't? HOW?"

Chiyuri pulls a wicked grin, then says "Captain's Stripes. Bought off some from that strange shop over the Bamboo Forest, and increased my ship's resistance. Oh, and always have a Complete Kit or two for quick repairs. Works wonders... 'captain'"

Minamitsu's face is now red with rage when she realizes Chiyuri just out-captained her, then Unzan approaches the ship ghost and says "I told you we should have used them before we set out."

Minamitsu gulps to subdue her desire to shout back, then says "just shut up... I don't want to hear it!"

Meanwhile, over at the Hakurei Shrine, Reimu sits on the shrine's porch with a gloomy face, while form inside, Rika says "aww, come on, my lady, it's not that bad. At least we have enough food to last us the week."

Reimu doesn't reply, and simply mutters to herself "meat buns, dango, dumplings, rice, peaches... Those aren't donations, dammit."


At the garden of the Sun, Iku Nagae flies down toward the girls, excitedly calling "I got it back! Look, I got my fever back!"

She lands right between the girls, and ignores Mystia, who says "look, we have a lot of work to do now, so just hurry up."

Iku approaches Chiyuri, then says "now, have some FEVEEER!"

The oarfish twirls, stops, places her left hand on her waist, raises her right hand above her head in an angle, then points her finger up.

Over at the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Remilia Scarlet, who only has a wrapped white towel to cover herself up, runs around the mansion's dark corridors with an annoyed and desperate look on her face.

Her short blue hair is all wet and frizzy, her wings are drenched, so she can't fly, and as she runs with tears under her expanded scowling white eyes while she screams "SAKUYAAAAA~!"

Behind her is a large water monster in the shape of a giant dog, and it playfully wags its tail as it chases after the terrorized vampire.

Remilia keeps running for dear life, holding on to her towel for the sake of her pride, and shouts "Sakuya, Jumy has gotten large! HEEEEELP~!"

Over at the Garden of the Sun, Iku has curled up into a ball and is scratching the ground with her left-hand fingernail while saying "*sniffle* still no fever."

Chiyuri wears an understanding smile as she rubs the oarfish's back, and says "it's alright, just let it all out."


To be continued...

Characters, Spell Cards and Scenario belong to ZUN -Team Shanghai Alice-

Kimi, Kali, Kyo, Ail and Agava (as well as those random spell cards) were created by Willie G.R.

Rika Onkamikami was created by Snapshot 2010

Damien was created by Hydroviper

All other credits where they are due!

WHAT WAS REALLY SAID BY LILY AND CHEN DURING THEIR DIALOGUE:

1) 猫又 = nekomata

2) あなたはそのパイありがとう!これは美味しかったです! = thank you so much for the pie! It was delicious!

3) ウーッ!私はパンツを食い込ませることを得た。 = ugh! I got a wedgie.

4) 私の5セント貸して下さい! = Please lend me 5 cents!

JAN 3 2011

Written by

Willie G.R.


A/N:

And so, another insanely random chapter finished. Lately, I've been having strange dreams... and I think it's good. They've been inspiring me a lot. Aside from that, I think I overdid it again with this chapter a bit. I LOVED doing this, but man, now I'm wondering how to top this. Still, the answer will come. Also, for those of you who know Japanese and happen to find mistakes with what I wrote there, know I DO NOT know Japanese, sadly, and used Google translate in order to make up that dialogue. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and would like you to know I might take even longer posting the next chapter, so pray to the spirits, or whatever you pray to, as long as it's from light and love, that I can post the next chapter sometime soon. Ah well, take care *smiles*.