Ch 2
"What the hell are you doing? Where the hell are you going? And why didn't he come after you?" she sat and asked herself out loud. She was in her car now and she started it, put it into drive and drove from him, from here, no known destination since she hadn't a clue where to go. Where she fit. She kept driving, and in circles, her phone in her purse rang, a few times in the beginning, then a few more but then... as hours seemed to pass... it stopped...finally almost out of gas.… she stopped her car in front of the police station... it was late, cold and she was extremely tired and she knew... knew she couldn't avoid the thoughts, the emotions, feelings, pain inside any longer tonight...
Putting the seat of the car back as far as it could she made herself comfortable as she stared at the building in front of her.… her eyes yet again glaring her vision by the water being released.… again she started to cry, the pain, the unknowing... much too much for her at this moment, way too much she let it all go, the tears and the heartbreak of not only leaving him tonight but ... the not knowing who she was, what she had become.
Minutes later the rain came, it was raining outside the same as her heart and she pulled her hands to her face, held it and shook her head, not being able to form anymore words and feeling numbness all thru her body she just got out of her car, and stepped into the rain, The pouring rain.
It was almost one am and John couldn't sleep, he just couldn't. she had left tonight... well technically it was yesterday but she had left, she felt humiliated, embarrassed, upset, and it was his fault. It was. And ... it was her fault…wasn't it? It was there fault; both of them were to blame for this.
John tossed and turned in the bed and couldn't get comfortable, it had been awhile since he slept in this bed alone, a real long time since he felt completely alone... and he sat up and looked to her side of the bed. Touched her pillow and closed his eyes. He saw it in his head, her face, the look on it when she left this time... the look in her eyes.… it wasn't like the last times... not the others... this time... the look in her eyes told him... she wouldn't be back...she wouldn't...and he would have to get used to living without her, being.… completely without her.
Natalie was soaked in just a matter of minutes and she didn't care, she walked into the station, over to her desk, saw the place almost deserted and she walked to her desk. Grabbed a piece of paper and wrote it... step one of what she would hope helped... help to put her on her way to finding herself, who she once was.
Placing the almost soggy paper on Bo's desk she grabbed a few things on her desk as she passed.… taking the picture of them.… her and john from her desk along with her name plaque and throwing it in the nearest trash can. Shaking her head as the tears that just recently subsided started to fall again she walked out of yet... again... another part of her life.
Attempting to run for her car.…thru the cold rain yet again she ran a bit off balance , a bit clumsily and slipped, fell... onto the cold, wet concrete and she once again felt numb as she heard his words.
"Natalie... are you alright?" Miles Lawrence asked as he watched her fall in front of him. He was leaving the station the same as her, late at night and he had actually seen her, the mess she was when he was inside.
Reaching his hand out to help her up, her eyes blood shot, her face stained, her body... looking defeated she reached her hand out and he heard her words.
"no... I'm not... but... I hope to be... someday... again... soon" she said almost a whisper as she let this man... almost a stranger help her up. She looked into his eyes, she let him see her... cry... the tears and she didn't look away... she was already humiliated too much to worry about it now... now she looked at this man, his gentleness in his words.
"I'm new to being around people... to reading them... but... I can tell something is very wrong with you... can I help?" she bite her tongue the first time she went to speak, to talk to him... my God he was Mitch's brother... his flesh and blood but... she didn't care at this moment... bottom was upon her and well... what the hell.
"I.…I... I'm not sure where to go…who… I ... Am" she told him and he shook his head understanding.
"I know something about that... come with me... its cold... and you're soaked"
"Thank you" she said softly as her head hit the pillow in his bed. He touched her hair and smoothed it back gently.
"No need to thank me... I'm just sorry you have to be going thru something... something that has you... this upset..." he told her and she sat up... wearing his shirt, that he had given her when they got to his room in the palace.
"Yeah well.…" was all she could find to say as he looked at her.
"You and I" he started to say as she brought her body down to his bed, as he grabbed the pillow next to her." You and I...I guess are sort of in the same boat... you... need to find that feisty girl I read about... the one that took on my evil brother... and me… I need to figure out who I am outside the prison I lived my entire life" he saw her shake her head and he did too... as she closed her eyes... as he watched her close for a moment.
Miles jumped up off the couch as he heard the banging on the door...
"Coming" he said, as he was shirtless... as he opened the door to see John McBain standing there. As never inviting him in. Just then Natalie walked out of the bedroom of the suite. Wearing one of Miles' shirts, a pair of his pajama pants..
"Miles... would it be okay if I us—" her words stopped as soon as she saw his face... John's... his expression... stone. She waited... waited for the blow up... and... Well... it came... oh boy... did it come.
