Ch 3

"John" her words, softly as she shook her head, his face, tortured, mean looking.

John was silent for a few minutes as he walked into the room more, closer to her, looked her in the eyes, his shining fury, hers painful.

"It didn't take you long... did it?" he said out of jealousy, although not wanting to admit it, or believe it. He was jealous; beyond jealous, hurt, pained to think she may have spent the night with this man, a total stranger... that she had spent the night having sex with any man... other than him. he pushed it away, far away... the part of him that wanted to care, instead he reverted to anger, his anger over the whole situation. Him, her, this... and what they had become.

"John… its not what you think?" her words still weak sounding she noticed the darkness in his eyes, darkest she had ever seen and he walked closer to her.

"You... just couldn't' wait... could you? To get into bed with someone... that's what leaving was really all about wasn't it?"

"NO!!! She said more forceful

" You're wrong" she said softly this time as she was having a hard time staying strong right now, she noticed Miles walk closer to the two of them, put himself in-between the hurtful, hatred glares of the situation.

"Lieutenant Mcbain... this isn't wh—"

'What I think? Hey buddy… this is exactly what I think.… but you know what... you want her... fucking have her.… let her manipulate and screw over your mind, she's good at it" he told him and he started to walk from the room in a fit of rage, he had to get out of there, this place before he exploded... did something, said more that he'd regret.

John was almost at the door when she found enough of herself to run after him, her anger... it was taking over her body now, no more weakling... no more being timid, things couldn't get worse, much worse than this.

"Fucking run John... take the easy way out ... you've been looking for a reason .… trying to find reasons in me to go... leave, end this.… not ask me to freaking Marry you for months now!!! Get the fuck out!!!!!" she screamed at him and he turned at her words, grabbed her arms roughly and shook her some.

"You were the one to leave ... REMEMBER!!!!!!!" he screamed in her face as miles approached

"Let go of her" not as forceful a sound as most men but enough to get john out of his current state of anger, just momentarily.

"No.… You left us along time ago... you were just too freaking weak to admit it!!! Instead you put it all on me.… try and break me down... make me feel like I can't do anything right.… like I'm useless... worthless.…. all so I'll be the one to leave… Get the fuck out John and Don't you ever" she shook his hold on her off " Don't you ever put you hands on me... NOT EVER AGAIN!!!" she walked away from him and towards the bathroom quickly before she broke down, before he could say anything else, before she couldn't hold it together in front of him..

John stood almost in shock of the situation, his anger; it was changing to something else... to reality? Reality hit him and hard as he yet again watched her walk from him, away from him.… again... the light in her eyes for him gone, he destroyed it... and he couldn't do anything about it... he squeezed his fists tight for a moment as he looked to see Miles open the door for him.

"Not sure why you came here... but... she told you to get out" Miles told john as he looked at him, the shock on his face, his body language showing what miles figured to be realization. He might be realizing how much... just how much his anger has cost him.

John closed his eyes before starting to walk from the room, out thru the door that now stood opened by miles. He walked like a coward almost completely out of it and then suddenly turned himself and ran to the bathroom door he knew she was behind.

"Natalie…NATALIE!!!!!!" he screamed into it, his heart in pieces… his head a mess.

Natalie heard him screaming her name as she stood in the shower, hot steamy water running over her body as she try to cleanse herself...clean herself of what happened again… him.… there anger.… she wouldn't answer him... she wouldn't, she couldn't.

"I'm Sorry… I'm so.…" John spoke softly when she never responded to him calling her, he felt defeated, alone, at fault and he wondered if this was how he had been making her feel lately.

John made his way towards the door and out of it, completely gone... away... far away from her and the life he thought he was ready for. A few minutes later he stepped out of the Palace hotel, the front doors and he closed his eyes tight... extremely tight... as if blocking out what he just saw... the conclusions... the wrong conclusion he had just jumped too... he blocked them out... that and the awful look in her eyes when he lost his temper.

Natalie let the water continue to wash her, she cried in silence as it did.

" He's gone" she heard as she turned the water off, as she got out of the shower carefully not to slip, as she wiped the mist off the mirror and looked at herself yet once more. Looked at the wet mess she was once more and then heard his kind gentle words thru the door.

"Take all the time you need, I'll order us breakfast and you can tell me all about the AC girl I read about.… that is if you think it will help" he told her and she threw on a robe, walked out and into the room to him. She looked into his eyes.

"Maybe another time... I need to go"

'Where?"

'Not sure... to get my car first... then... then I'll figure out... I'll figure it out"

"I'll take you for your car... I'll help you figure things out..."

'No... I need to do this alone…all alone" she told him as a tear came to her eye, as there was a knock on the door. Her face went white for a moment... stunned thinking it possibility might be him but... deep down inside... she knew it wasn't. Natalie watched on as he answered the door, She closed her eyes briefly as she heard him speak with someone from the hotel, she reopened them and saw him holding her clothes they sent out for cleaning early this morning.

Without words she took the clothes from his hands and smiled weakly at him. " Thank you," she told him and he returned the weak smile, pushed her wet hair from her eyes.

"No problem... never a problem... something tells me... you're a good person to have in my corner if needed... if ever" he told her and she smiled.

"I used to be," she laughed weakly now as her eyes gather tears.

"You will be again," he told her and her smile got a tad bit bigger, brighter.

"You're nothing like your brother... absolutely nothing," she told him and he smiled bigger this time.