Hiccup decided to go for a ride on Toothless. Nothing sounded more wonderful than a ride through the clouds,
wind in his hair and troubles far away...
"HICCUP, NO DAYDREAMING! I REPEAT, WHAT DID YOU WANT FOR DINNER?" Yelled Stoick across the town.
Anything but mutton and mustard sandwiches...
"I'M WAITING!" Yelled Stoick, much louder now-if that were even possible.
"Um, mutton stew?" Called Hiccup.
"WHAT ABOUT ROAST EEL?" Called Stoick.
Hiccup's stomach turned over, and Toothless's head whipped around and he gagged the way dragons do.
Why in the name of Thor did Stoick like roast eel?
"Dad, please make mutton stew." Said Hiccup, walking up to his dad.
"What about spaghetti and muttonballs? Invite your girlfriend over. I like her. She said she liked my cooking."
Said Stoick, proudly.
"Thanks, Dad!" Said Hiccup, a plan forming in his mind...a late night dinner, a ride on Toothless with Astrid.
Great way to crush a girl's plans, if any... although Hiccup really wished he didn't have to throw the bomb on
Astrid like that.
Hiccup gave his father a manly slap on the back, which Stoick returned...knocking poor Hiccup flat on the ground.
"Good job! I couldn't be more proud to call you my son." Said Stoick.
"Why, because a talking fishbone like me caught a beauty like her?" Joked Hiccup.
"Son, because you brought us dragons and brought peace. You have made me proud." Said Stoick.
"Dad, I have a problem." Hiccup said, momentarily thinking he could pull off a little father-son guidance
conversation.
"Yes, Hiccup?" Said Stoick, turning to Hiccup.
"I have a problem telling Astrid something." Said Hiccup.
What came next was unspeakable.
"YOU'RE BREAKING UP?!" Roared Stoick, blasting Hiccup with eel breath.
Hiccup felt he was submerged in eel, eel, eel...nothing but reeking eel breath...
Hiccup choked, gagged, and croaked, "No."
Meanwhile Toothless looked rather green and was gagging mercilessly.
"Dad, you'll kill my dragon!" Said Hiccup, choking his words out.
The very air looked rather hazy.
Toothless shook his head to clear it and flew off away from the fumes.
"Way to go, Toothless. Leave me behind with Mr. Eel breath." Grumbled Hiccup, struggling to keep from puking.
"What is it, son?" Said Stoick.
"I can't dance with my leg." Said Hiccup.
Suddenly Hiccup saw Astrid walking arm-in-arm with Ruffnut and...Heather?!
They all carried shopping bags from the Viking Mall.
"Hiccup! Look who's here!" Called Astrid.
"Heather! Astrid! Ruffnut! Uh...want to come to dinner?" Offered Hiccup, his dinner plans sinking.
"Nah, sorry Hiccup. I have to get Snotlout and Ruffnut color-coordinated for the dance," Said Heather, "But
thanks, Hiccup, you're so sweet. It's great to see you!"
Heather gave Hiccup a bone-crushing hug, and then walked after Ruffnut, who was loudly complaining, "Why
color-coordinate? There is only one popular Viking color: brown."
"Ruffnut, haven't you heard of Party Pink?" Said Heather.
Ruffnut groaned, "No pink!"
Astrid looked at Hiccup, clutching her shopping bags, and said, "I'll come!"
"Save me some muttonballs!" Called Ruffnut.
"Eel, anyone?" Said Stoick, grinning broadly.
==At the dinner table at Hiccup's house==
Stoick was munching on a whole loaf of bread, and Astrid was savoring her muttonloaf and mutton stew. Hiccup
wasn't really all that hungry. His father's dead obvious hints weren't helping, either.
"Gee, Hiccup, you guys should really take a walk after dinner HINT HINT maybe you might need to tell her
something?!" Said Stoick, oblivious to the fact that he just wasn't helping.
Hiccup jabbed his father under the table as hard as he could with his foot.
"OW. SAY, THAT HURT!" Said Stoick, stomping one massive foot on Hiccup's metal leg.
"The benefits, of a metal leg, I suppose." Said Hiccup, thinking of a time when Stoick's very large foot had
nearly obliterated Hiccup's very small foot.
"There are the non-benefits of a metal leg HINT HINT WINK WINK." Said Stoick.
Astrid looked up from her meal.
"Not helping!" Hissed Hiccup.
Could his father be any more obvious?