Hey everyone! I'm back again!
I... guess I'm doing a weekly update schedule now. That'll definitely change in the future, just giving you a heads-up.
Especially when school starts again. I'm also going on a trip to my brother's house up in Washington, then to my sister's down in Texas, so I might not be able to update for the entirety of August.
But, hey! The actual storyline starts here! Get psyched!
The next two chapters should cover Nisekoi Chapters 1-16 (or Episodes 1-8), with just a bit extra.
And anybody who catches the Deadpool and My Little Monster references gets a virtual brownie.
Now, without further ado... Here's Chapter 2!
Japan
BeeHive HQ
Common
April 28, 2014
8:13 A.M.
"Ittekimasu!"
The blonde girl rushed off in a hurry, a piece of buttered toast clamped between her teeth. Her red ribbon was messily tied, holding her hair in place, and it streaked behind her in a blur of gold, pink, and crimson.
"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!"
The girl dashed down the street with surprising speed, rounding the corner with a sharp turn that would've left most men stumbling.
And as soon as she was almost out of sight…
"Ikuzo!"
"Yokai!"
Two figures shot out of the shadows and into the air, their bodies eclipsing the sun. The two landed in perfect sync, before darting down the street in hot pursuit, making sure not to lose track of their target.
Said target moved at a swift pace (though nothing our two protagonists couldn't match), before she finally approached her destination.
As the girl began her impromptu scaling of a 6-foot wall, the duo settled in a nearby tree, prepared to step in if anything were to-
"Huh?"
"Geh!?"
(*WHAM*)
The blond sweatdropped, as he watched his fellow blonde's knee connect with the face of some schmuck.
"Poor kid," he muttered.
His companion nodded in silent agreement, as the girl peeled herself of the boy's fallen form.
"Sorry about that!" she said, with a casual wave, "But I'm in a hurry!"
She continued her mad dash to the classroom, leaving the guy in a daze as he tried to regain his bearings.
Rubbing his sleeve against it in a futile attempt to stem the flow of blood, the teen continued his trek, unwittingly leaving behind something rather important…
The two in the trees finally emerged, allowing us to take in their appearance.
The first had midnight blue hair and piercing crimson eyes. A cobalt blazer was closed over a simple white dress shirt and vermillion tie, said blazer likely loaded with all kinds of lethal firearms.
This was the BeeHive's infamous 'Black Tiger', Tsugumi Seishirou.
The other was blond with three whisker-like marks on either cheek. The open jacket of his orange and black jumpsuit flapped in the wind as he walked.
This was the BeeHive's newest addition to their already impressive lineup of agents; one Uzumaki Naruto.
The sapphire, hexagonal crystal he used to replace the First Hokage's destroyed necklace swung back and forth in the breeze. His blue eyes radiated the deadly calm of an ocean just before a storm, but his usually wide grin was twisted into a frown of confusion as he approached the glinting piece of metal in the overgrown grass.
"What's wrong?"
He knelt and pulled the object from the grass.
It was an odd, circular object with a keyhole at the center. Below it was an intricate metal design, sharp enough to stab someone with (sounds unnecessary to mention, but over the past few years, he'd been learning the various ways of ending someone's life), and the whole contraption hung, suspended on a (rather weak) metal chain.
"...The kid dropped this," he muttered, loud enough for his partner to hear.
She gave him a look, "What are you gonna' do, return it? We're only supposed to be observing right now; interacting with any of her classmates was strictly forbidden by both her father and Claude-sama unless it was an absolute emergency!"
He returned the look, "I understand that. I was just gonna' pass it off to Chitoge when I got the chance."
She quirked a thin eyebrow, "And what do you expect her to do? Return it to him?"
His expression didn't change, "...Yes."
She sighed, before turning back to the direction in which they'd both gone.
"Whatever. We should get moving; their class is about to start."
He nodded, storing the pendant in the seal within his pocket.
Bonyari High School
Trees
April 28, 2014
8:25 A.M.
(Naruto)
We'd arrived just in time to see the same boy from earlier open the door and walk in, blood still flowing from his nose.
"Yo, Rak- Whoa!"
I watched as the boy with glasses and dirty blond hair recoil in surprise at his (presumable) friend's injuries.
"Eh? Ichijou-kun, what happened!?"
This time, it was a girl with chestnut hair, eyes like amber, and the smile of an angel; a look that practically screamed girl-next-door. By her side was a much shorter girl with hair a slightly darker shade, glasses, and a rather bored expression.
"Those," said Tsugumi at my side, "are Shuu Maiko, Kosaki Onodera, and Ruri Miyamoto."
I raised a brow, "So they're friends of Cross?"
It was her turn to raise an eyebrow, "Cross?"
"The first guy. I don't know his name, but he's got that cross-shaped hairpin…"
He turned to her, "Wait, how do you know their names?"
She tapped her index finger to her temple, "Claude ran background checks on everyone in the school. I made sure to memorize them."
I blanched, "So you're still doing that then?"
She smiled, before narrating almost robotically, "Kosaki Onodera: Age 15. Runs a Japanese Sweet Shop with her mother and younger sister. Blood Type B, born on June 15, 1999. Favorite food is candied sweet potatoes; least favorite being Konnyaku. Currently 157 cm tall; her measurements are-"
"Alright, I get it, I get it."
"Dammit brat!" shouted the demon in my mind, "You could've at least let her finish the thought!"
'Shut the hell up, Ero Kitsune,' I shot back, 'And where the hell've you been? You haven't said a thing since I fought Tsugumi six months ago!'
And what a wonderful six months it was. Without the constant grumbling of one of the most powerful demons in existence, I was free to do as I wished without all the snarky commentary!
Of course, that silence wasn't without cost.
Up until about a week ago, Claude had sent Tsugumi and I on mission after mission; we rarely got a break! He said it was to improve teamwork and chemistry; something that, while I'd understood, still kinda' left me feeling a bit miffed.
In other news, Tsugumi and I were sharing an apartment now, at the younger Hatake's instruction. So I guess I couldn't be too mad at the guy.
"I was sleeping," grumbled the Kitsune, continuing his statement, "I didn't miss much, did I?"
'Well, as far as training goes, Claude's made sure to keep my nose to the fucking grindstone. The four-eyed bastard's been sending me on all kinds of 'mission's. Infiltration, retrieval, assassination, you know. The easy stuff.'
"So nothing important? Kami, just wake me up when we head back home."
'Oh, I'm living with Seishirou right now, if you consider that important.'
…
…
"WHAT!?"
"-ruto... Naruto!"
I was pulled out of my daze by a set of snapping fingers right in front of my nose.
"You spaced out on me… what the hell were you thinking about?"
"Umm… Nothing. What were you saying?"
Yeah... I hadn't exactly told her about Kurama yet.
…
...
...What?
What did you expect? Back home, I was straight up ostracized from the minute I was born! And even the kids knew enough to stay away from me; it was a burden I'd been forced to bear my entire life, and it really wasn't something to be happy about.
Sure, it seems really out of character for someone like me (and a tad hypocritical too, considering I was trying to get her to tell Claude her secret), but I'd rather build up someone's trust first before dropping a bombshell on them like that.
Unaware of the conflict turning in my mind, she continued, "I was just listing more of Ojou-sama's classmates… The one you refer to as 'Cross' is Ichijou Raku. He's the heir to the clan of Yakuza we hired you to protect the Mistress from."
I quirked a brow, "Is he dangerous?"
She shook her head, her hair trailing the movement in a whip-like effect, "Reports have stated him to have lost in any and every form of physical confrontation. His composition appears to be rather weak for a male his age…"
I gave her a flat look, "So, he's a wimp?"
"Pretty much."
I watched as Ms. Girl-Next-Door (Kosaki, was it?) apply a bandage to Cross' nose. His friend (Shoe, I think) leaned over the desk, laughing at Raku's situation, as the teen's ears turned scarlet.
I saw Shu (as Tsugumi corrected) and Lily-
"Ruri!"
-Ruri both grinned a bit at the reaction.
'So Cross has a crush on Kosaki, while Shu and Ruri are aware, and support it,' I thought, 'And Kosaki must at least somewhat return those feelings… Or maybe just enough of it to stick things on his face.'
"Never mind that!" Kurama roared, "You're living with that girl!?"
I frowned in confusion, appearing in my mindscape for the conversation.
"...Yeah. I thought we'd established this?"
"AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME THIS, WHY!?"
I was actually blown back by the sheer volume of the demon's enraged shouts, as I landed flat on my back, into the disgusting water of the sewer. Fortunately, it wasn't actual water, so my clothes weren't wet.
"I didn't think it'd be important to the most powerful being in existence," I grumbled, sitting up.
"Hey, the 'most powerful being in existence' just so happens to reside within your stomach. And I'll be damned if the most powerful Jinchuuriki 'in existence' dies a virgin."
The comment left me sputtering, as the beast chuckled.
"-ey! Hey! Naruto!"
"What?"
I was pulled from my mindscape for the second time today, this time with a the back of her soft hand against my forehead.
I saw Tsugumi's brow knitted with concern, "Are you alright? You've been spacing out, and you're all flushed; do you have a fever?"
"Huh? Oh no, I'm fine! And look! Chitoge's walking in!"
The girl's timely appearance saved me from explaining the situation to my partner. We sat in silence as the blonde introduced herself to the class.
This is what I got from lip-reading and my enhanced hearing.
"Hi there! I'm Kirisaki Chitoge from the U.S.! My Mom's Japanese, and my dad's American, so I'm half-and-half! As you can see, I speak Japanese just fine! So don't be shy! I look forward to getting to know you!"
With a smile and a light giggle, the class erupted into cries of joy and happiness at the new transfer student.
"Well, go ahead and pick a seat," said their Sensei, "You can sit next to Ichijo-kun in the back."
She nodded, "Got it!"
Everything was going fine...
"Huh?"
"Hm?"
...Until she came face to face with her new neighbor.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
The new girl and… Riku? Reiki? (...Fuck it, I'll just call him Cross.) had noticed each other, and were currently engaged in a contest of who had the higher vocal range.
...Cross was winning.
"Y-You're-"
"You're the psychopath who nearly killed me!" he shouted.
Gasps and whispers echoed throughout the room at Cross' declaration.
"Huh!? Who're you calling a psychopath!?" she shouted, stepping up to him, hands on her hips.
"You nailed me with your knee in the courtyard, didn't you?!"
The whispers only grew louder in volume, as the duo's voices began to rise even further.
"I apologized, didn't I?" she said casually, trying to brush off the matter, "What's your problem!? It was just a bump, you hysterical drama queen!"
But the Yakuza heir wouldn't let that happen, "You call that an apology!? And 'just a bump'!? I nearly lost consciousness!"
The girl scoffed, "Yeah? Well maybe you should get your blood pressure checked. Look, I said I was sorry, can't you let it go? Quit being a wuss!"
"Oh yeah!? You seem really sorry, you… you…"
I could almost feel the fibers in the boy's body snap as he leaned forward and shouted.
"YOU DAMNED GORILLA!"
The girl didn't take too kindly to that, winding up for a punch.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GORILLA?!"
The fist slammed into the boy's jaw, sending him flying. He spun through the air like a football before crashing into the desks.
"Ha!" said my partner, "Serves him right for insulting Ojou!"
I shrugged, "To be fair, Cross kinda' had a point. She does owe him a proper apology for that."
I felt the soft skin of Tsugumi's fist lightly pressing against my jaw, much like a golfer would do with his club to a ball, as if she were lining me up with some invisible target.
"Would you care to repeat that statement?"
I gave her a look, "You can't hurt me and you know it."
Bonyari High School
Class 1-C
April 28, 2014
8:33 A.M.
(Raku)
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a blond man fly out of the treeline, hit a building, and fall down into the street.
'Huh. That punch must've hit me harder than I thought...'
"Well," started Kyoko-sensei as I peeled myself off the floor, "Since you're already so well-acquainted…"
"Ichijou, I'm counting on you to help Kirisaki-san with whatever she may need!"
"...Huh?"
The newly-titled 'Gorilla' took the seat beside me, as Kyoko-sensei began her lesson.
"Listen!" the girl whispered harshly, "Don't you dare come near me, alright! Your girliness will rub off on me."
I gave her a look, "I don't know. Maybe you could pick up a thing or two, dude."
A simple, outstretched fist was enough to shut me up.
"I said nothing."
Bonyari High School
Trees
April 28, 2014
8:37 A.M.
(Naruto)
"Back so soon?"
I glared at the smirking assassin as I made my way up the tree, back to my earlier perch.
"Ha ha. Next time, put your weight into it, like Chitoge did. Sends 'em flying farther, and straighter."
She gave me an incredulous look, "Are you actually trying to get me to improve the manner in which I punch you in the face? And if you know how to do that, do I even want to know how many times this has happened before?"
I shrugged, sitting on the branch and leaning against the trunk, "Let's just say that it's happened enough for me to know the proper technique. Her record was 387 meters."
She sighed, "Well, I guess I'm not surprised that it's happened more than once or twice, given that mouth of yours."
I nodded in agreement, "Yeah. This mouth can do some amazing things."
She turned to me, sputtering. Her face was slightly tinged pink, and her fist cocked back for another strike.
I leaned against the tree before continuing, "I can shout loud enough for an entire nation to hear my words, I've converted over half my continent to ally themselves with my home country, and I can talk S-Ranked criminals out of destroying the world with impromptu therapy sessions. It's really quite amazing."
The girl's eyes widened before she flushed again, this time in embarrassment.
I smirked.
"I can also triple-knot a cherry stem with my tongue, if that's what you wanted to hear."
(*BLAM*)
The record was broken that day, as I was sent flying a good 450 meters down the street.
Bonyari High School
Class 1-C
April 28, 2014
8:42 A.M.
(Raku)
(*BLAM*)
I really hoped my eyes were deceiving me, as I watched the blond fly out of the tree for the second time.
To my bewilderment, nobody else in class seemed to pay it any attention. And all the temporary distraction did was make my mind lose track of the teacher's lesson.
"And so to solve the equation, we must first substitute a value for the variable…"
Unable to concentrate on Sensei's lecture any longer, my thoughts drifted to the monster sitting beside me.
'Dammit, what the hell is this girl's problem? I've never met someone so vicious and annoying! Compared to Onodera or the Promised Girl, she's on the complete opposite end of the spectrum!'
I sighed dreamily, 'Aw, man… but wouldn't it be crazy if Onodera turned out to be the girl with the key!? Sure, the odds are tremendously low, but their personalities match up so well! They could totally be the same person!'
'...I wonder what that girl's doing now...' I thought, grasping for my pendant.
…
…
…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
Bonyari High School
Trees
April 28, 2014
8:46 A.M.
(Naruto)
"Looks like Cross finally noticed his necklace was missing…" I muttered.
The girl looked back to me, as if she didn't just slug me across the face,"And when do you plan to return it to him?"
I shrugged, "Whenever Chitoge finally works up enough courage to apologize. It'll be perfect; alongside the pendant, he'll have no choice to accept both!"
"But… if Ojou returned the pendant, wouldn't that mean she'd been holding it this whole time? And wouldn't that just make him more mad?"
I shook my head.
"From what I've seen, Cross is pretty stubborn; even when it's bound to land him in trouble," I said, referring to when he confronted Chitoge and ended up with a rather nasty bruise, "He'll probably guilt Chitoge into helping him look for it, and when they don't find anything, she'll probably give up."
The girl narrowed her eyes, "Just what are you trying to say about the Mistress?"
"I'm not done," I assured her, "Anyway…"
"Once that happens, she'll throw a huge tantrum that'll likely end in a screaming match. But after that, she'll probably feel too guilty to let it go, and search for the thing on her own."
My partner nodded, continuing the train of thought, "I see… So all we need to do is make it easy for her to find, they make up, and the problem's solved!"
I nodded back, "That's the gist of it."
Bonyari High School
Class 1-C
April 28, 2014
1:35 P.M.
(Raku)
"Wha? Why the hell should help you!?"
"It was your fault I lost it in the first place!" I shouted, unknowingly proving someone's point, "No matter how hard I try, I can't remember where else I could've dropped it, and I can't find it myself!"
"What's wrong Ichijou-kun?"
"Oh! Onodera!"
As soon as the angel had introduced herself to the monkey-girl, I continued.
"Well… I lost something pretty important…"
"Really?" she asked, "Mind if I help?"
After a brief explanation, she'd agreed (with a strange reaction to the pendant's shape, might I add).
"Fine. I'll help you," muttered the blonde, "But you have to promise that once we find this thing, you'll never talk to me again, alright!"
"Huh!?"
"I can't stand guys like you. Always bitching about what's done and over with. I'd hate for anyone to think I was friends with such a prissy pushover!"
"Hey, Ichijou!"
Before I could retort, I was interrupted by our teacher calling out to me.
"I want you to teach Kirisaki all about this place. So that's why you two…"
"...will be the caretakers of the school pets for the next two weeks!"
"HUH!?"
Bonyari High School
April 29, 2014
3:56 P.M.
(Naruto)
(*FSSH*)
"AGH! What are you doing!?"
I watched idly, senbon in my mouth in a Genma-like fashion, as the duo continued their bickering whilst they "took care of the school farm".
"What's wrong now!?" Chitoge cried indignantly.
"You used too much water! You'll rot the roots like that!"
"Hey, they'll be fine! …Probably."
"The planter is overflowing!"
I sighed to myself.
"Those two seem to be getting along swimmingly," I muttered, words slightly distorted by the bit of metal between my teeth.
Seishirou quirked a thin eyebrow, "Pun intended?"
"Of course," I said, finally spitting out the chewed-up piece of metal. The thing flew, lodging itself in a nearby tree with a (*PING*).
My partner wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Why do you do that? It's gross."
I gave her an incredulous look, "Just last week you stabbed a man in the throat with a screwdriver."
The girl scoffed, "That 'man' was a druglord, and was in charge of one of the world's largest human-trafficking rings. Not like he didn't deserve it."
"Plus, that was business related. Any unpleasant habits you have off-duty are capable being called into question."
"Sure, whatever," I grunted, "But it helps keep me busy. I can't stand sitting around doing nothing."
She gave a flat expression, "Pun intended?"
"...No. Happy accident."
I silently unsealed a can of honey-roasted peanuts, taking off the lid and popping a few in my mouth.
I tilted the container's opening to my partner, "Want some?"
She declined, shaking her head.
"Suit yourself. Hey look, they're leaving."
The two had parted ways, storming off in opposite directions.
I resealed the can, as I stood up.
"Guess we should get moving too then," I said, stretching out my back.
The girl nodded, as we leapt off the branch, ready to escort the girl back home.
Bonyari High School
School Yard
April 30, 2014
11:32 A.M.
(Naruto)
(*KNCH KNCH KNCH*)
Several sunflower seeds crunched within my mouth, as I carried out the mind-numbingly boring task I'd been assigned.
Tsugumi and I were sitting in the branches of yet another tree. The tree which just so happened to the one Cross and his buddy were sitting against, as they discussed Raku's relationship between him and the new transfer student.
"What do you mean, 'we look like a couple'?" I heard him say, "All we do is fight! And there's nothing good about her, lest you count the monkeyness."
Unfortunately for him, as he said that, Tsugumi was cleaning the barrel of her gun. She twitched, and prepared to fire a round into the boy, but 'fortunately for him', I managed to stop her before she could.
"Look, Kirisaki-san is freakin' gorgeous man," Shuu said, as the blonde did some tricks on the pull-up bars, "There are a ton of guys who'd wanna' be with her."
Maiko leaned further back against the wooden surface, "But a lot of 'em are wondering things. Like, why she even goes to this school. Or why she transferred at such a weird time. Stuff like that."
"Gorgeous? You mean her?"
My partner twitched again, but I took the pistol before she could start pumping lead into the poor kid.
"She's just a classmate that sits beside me," he said, "We just happen to be together a lot. And it's clear that we don't get along!"
He stared at the girl, as she received a round of applause for her rather impressive display.
The teen audibly exhaled, "More like a monkey everyday."
(*KABAAM*)
His remark was interrupted by the flying dumbbell that'd just connected with his jaw.
I sighed to myself, 'Now you're just askin' for it, Cross.'
Tsugumi's expression was one of annoyance, "How could anyone possibly think that weakling of a man could ever be right for Ojou!?"
I shrugged, "I dunno'. They say that hate and love are two sides of the same coin."
"Hah! There's no way that Ojou'd ever fall for a wimp like that!"
I raised an eyebrow, "Oh really?"
I turned to her, "Tsugumi, I'm willing to bet you a year's supply of ramen, that those two will start dating within the month."
She turned to me as well, "I don't bet, Uzumaki. Betting's for suckers."
I smiled, "Why not? You afraid to lose?"
She growled, "...Fine. But let's up the ante a bit."
My smile faltered a bit, "What did you have in mind?"
She smirked, reaching into her pocket, "You have to tell me the story behind this."
And she pulled out something I was hoping I'd never have to see again.
I gulped, upon seeing the ring, with its pinkish diamond glinting in the sun.
"You tried to throw it away a few months ago, right? But it doesn't seem like the type of thing to just get rid of."
I made a grab for it, but the girl slipped it back into her pocket, out of my reach.
She extended her hand, "So do we have a deal?"
I shook my head, "No way. That kind of thing's off the table."
She smirked again.
"Why not? Afraid to lose?" she said, repeating my words.
I gave her a half-hearted glare.
"...Fine. But let me raise the stakes as well…"
I whispered my condition into her ear, the action making her flush a bit, and the condition making her blush even harder.
I extended my hand, "Now, do we have a deal?"
With a (rather firm) handshake, the bet was on.
Bonyari High School
Fence
May 8, 2014
3:47 P.M.
(Naruto)
"Geez! There's no sign of it anywhere!"
"Shut your trap. And I thought you hated people who moan and complain?"
It was Chitoge's 6th day at Bonyari High. And since she arrived, all she'd done was spend time with Cross.
"Hmph," I grinned, "At this rate, I'm definitely gonna' win that bet."
My partner said nothing, only shaking her head in amusement at my confidence.
Bonyari High School
Fence
May 13, 2014
3:51 P.M.
(Naruto)
"AAAAAGH! I can't take it anymore!"
"Huh!?"
Tsugumi leaned forward in interest, "Well, would you look at that. That bet's mine, Whiskers."
I grunted, as I tried listening in on the conversation.
"How the hell does it look like we're a couple!? The only reason we're working together is because I'm being kind and helping an idiot search for something he dropped!"
"H-Hey!" was his indignant reply.
Meanwhile, Kosaki arrived on the scene, bearing witness to the tail end of their conversation (read: argument)
"Don't fuck with me! It's because of your negligence that you lost in the first place, stupid beansprout!"
"God, it's been a week already! Just give it up! Somebody probably picked it up, thought it was garbage, and threw it away!"
His expression changed, "You don't know that. And besides, that thing's really important to me!"
"Pfft! What's losing a necklace to a man? Are you the kind of guy who can't sleep without a night-light!?"
"It's probably something you got from a girl you liked a long time ago! Stop living in the past, you pansy!"
He was getting angry now, Onodera looking between the two in an attempt to diffuse the situation.
"I bet she's even forgotten that she'd given it to you! How lame! You're such a moron!"
That struck a nerve.
"SHUT THE HELL UP! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK FOR IT, THEN JUST LEAVE!"
Surprised by his outburst, the trio stood in silence, even as the rain started to pour.
He only stood there, fists clenched at his sides, eyes glued to the ground, as the blonde walked off.
…
…
The girl at my side nudged my shoulder.
"Looks like it's over, Whiskers. Pay up."
I grinned, staring down at the pendant in my hand.
"...Not yet."
Bonyari High School
Fence
May 14, 2014
5:23 P.M.
(Raku)
"Ichijou-kun!"
I turned back to see Onodera approaching, looking slightly winded.
"K-Kirisaki-san wants to see you…"
"Huh?"
"Man, what's her deal!? Asking me to come all the way out here…"
Onodera tugged at my sleeve, "Ichijou-kun, over there!"
"Wha-"
That was all I got out before something hurtled through the air and slammed into my face.
"GYAAAGH!"
"I-Ichijou-kun!? Are you okay?"
"Ngh," I grunted, as I sat up, "What the hell was...huh?"
Sitting at my side was…
"My pendant!"
"Oh! So, that's what that is?"
The girl smiled, "You know… After you exploded a few days ago…"
Bonyari High School
Trees
May 14, 2014
5:29 P.M.
(Naruto)
I leaned back, admiring the fruits of my work.
"See? Problem solved."
Tsugumi looked at me, "Whatever. Ojou's still not talking to him."
I shrugged, "So what? I have a feeling it's not over yet…"
Naruto and Tsugumi's Apartment
May 14, 2014
6:31 P.M.
(Naruto)
"Going somewhere?"
Tsugumi had walked into the kitchen, fully decked out in her battle gear: bullet proof vest, Kevlar pants, and a belt lined with grenades, smoke bombs, and at least 7 clips of ammo.
She nodded, "Claude's sending me on a remote op, on rather short notice, I might add. I should be back in a week or so."
"Wha? You're going on a mission without me?" I asked, pushing aside the bowl of ramen I'd been eating, "But what about teamwork and stuff?"
"Claude wants someone guarding the mistress at all times, now that she's in school. So you'll be going solo for the next few days."
"So I'm gonna' have to sit there and watch those two bicker all by myself? Joy."
She raised an eyebrow, "Would you rather have Claude join you?"
I blanched, "Oh, god no."
She smirked, "That's what I thought."
I put the empty bowl in the sink, "So, where you headed?"
"Korea," she said, pulling at the cuffs of her gloves, "One of Johnson's contacts bit off more than he could chew. He's being held in a torture chamber half a mile below Pyongyang."
"And you plan to infiltrate and retrieve him within a week?" I asked, turning to her, "That's a rather tall order, even for you."
She shrugged, "Maybe. But it's a mission. And that's not something I can refuse."
She opened the door and walked out. But before she closed it…
"Hey."
"Hm?"
Her face was one of sincerity, as she turned and said:
"Keep Chitoge safe, alright?"
I grinned, "Definitely. And you better not die out there."
She smiled back, "Don't plan on it."
Naruto and Tsugumi's Apartment
May 14, 2014
10:42 P.M.
(Naruto)
(*BRIIING…BRIIIIING…BRIIII-*)
I picked up the phone, silencing the shrill ringing that had disturbed my slumber.
"Hello?" I slurred.
"Naruto!" Claude's voice barked on the other end, "Are you awake?"
"Well, I am now," I muttered, "What's up?"
"Lady Chitoge's been captured!" he shouted angrily, "And those damned Yakuza bastards got her! We're en route to their base to get her back!"
I sat up, "I'll be there in five. Don't wait up."
I set the handheld down before throwing off my pajamas, sleeping cap and all, leaving me naked aside from my boxers. A quick hand sign had unsealed ANBU gear all over my body, appearing over my skin in a small puff of smoke.
I adjusted the mask, and the waistband of my pants (which felt weird for some reason). Not bothering to even turn off the lights, I leapt out the open window.
Shuei-gumi Base
Outside
May 14, 2014
11:03 P.M.
(Naruto)
"Claude!"
The man nodded as I approached, "Naruto, good to see you."
The younger Hatake, along with about 500 other men had gathered outside the Yakuza Base, and were in the middle of setting explosives all along the wall.
"I understand your concern for Chitoge, Claude," I said, looking over the men, "...But was it really necessary to bring half the gang with you?"
He shook his head, "They all came voluntarily once they heard what the bastards had done."
Some of the men had starting snickering at me. Though, the fox mask was probably the cause of their laughter.
I frowned when I glanced at the explosives they were using.
"Hey guys, you shouldn't need more than 20 ounces of C4. You're using way too much."
One of the men (Klein, was it?) turned to me, "Twenty what? Fuck the Japanese and their stupid metric system; how much in American?"
The guy next to him started muttering, "Well, let's see. Um...carry the seven, and…"
Klein grunted.
"Dude, fuck math. Just use all of it."
And with that, about 20 pounds of C4 went off almost simultaneously, blowing down the wall, and probably scaring the shit out of some poor civilians.
Fortunately, the majority of the gang had the common sense to duck for cover at that. And that day, a new rule was put into effect.
Never. Put. Klein. In charge of the explosives.
"OJOUUU!"
The gang charged in, ready for anything.
"I've finally found you! Ojou!" Claude said, "Apparently it's true that these Shuei-gumi bastards kidnapped you!"
I looked at him incredulously, "Wait, you didn't have confirmation? What the hell, man!? For all we knew, we could've just started a war!"
He ignored me as he continued, "Never fear, Ojou. As an Executive of the BeeHive, it is my job to protect you!"
"Therefore, I, Claude, have come to retrieve you personally-"
"Naruto?" she called, ignoring the man, "What's going on? And what are you wearing?"
I lifted the mask, "Hey Chitoge. Heard that Cross' buddies had you kidnapped. Is that true?"
She frowned, "Cross?"
"The Yakuza kid."
Her expression turned sour, "Oh, him? No, this is all just a misundersta-"
(*PHMM*)
The doors slid open, revealing a couple of scar-faced men; clearly Yakuza.
"Well, well," he muttered, walking over, "If it isn't the BeeHive's top dog…"
He then looked at me and did a double-take.
"Who the hell are you, and what are you wearing?"
"What is it!?" I growled, getting irritated, "It's traditional ANBU combat gear!"
Chitoge gave me a look, "Are you sure? I might not know what 'traditional AMPU combat gear' looks like, but I think you're supposed to put on the pants over your underwear."
"What?"
I looked down to see my orange, ramen bowl-patterned boxers on top of my pants.
"...Well, fuck."
Both the Yakuza, and the gangsters behind me started laughing.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY, DAMN YOU!" I shouted.
Cross frowned, and leaned over to Chitoge, "You know that guy?"
"He's...one of my bodyguards," she murmured, "He joined a few months ago, and he's already one of the top agents."
"Hah!" the Yakuza laughed, "If your strongest agent can't even put his pants on properly, then we've got this one in the bag! Get 'em boys!"
Swords were drawn and guns were loaded, as I fiddled with my pants, using Kawamiri to put them on right.
"Hey, listen buddy," said the leader of the Yakuza, "I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding."
"Wh-What the? Boss, what are you doing here?"
"Nobody kidnapped anybody, Claude," said Adelt, "Because…"
Chitoge and Raku were pushed together by their respective guardians who spoke in unison:
"These two are actually a head-over-heels, lovey-dovey couple!"
…
…
…
"NAAAAANIIIIIII!?"
While the others flipped out, I rubbed my hands together evilly.
'Oh, Tsugumi's in for a real surprise when she gets back.'
And, we're done!
Yeah, the plots may have connected in this one, but not much has really happened as of now. Things'll definitely pick up by the next chapter; that's when Naruto and Tsugumi will transfer into Bonyari High.
Also, something regarding Kawamiri will come up in the next chapter, so make a note of that.
Oh, one more thing. I've auditioned for the role of Shuu in Josh S.'s Nisekoi fandub. We still have positions open, so check it out on YouTube!
And if I didn't mention this already, I made an English version of 'Recover Decoration', Nisekoi's second Ending theme. Check it out on my YouTube channel!
Well, that's it! Hopefully, I'll see you all again next week!
'Til then!
- Objection234 (Akane Sasu Sora on YouTube)
