ch 10
"Its never too soon huh?" Natalie asked as his hands... went to the hem of her blouse, pulling it up and over her head... throwing it anxiously to the floor.
John didn't comment on the last bit of flirting, he was too taken with his task at hand,, his task of taking her clothes off... enjoying the pleasure of her... them... this way again... his hands moved to the back of her .. her pulling up off the bed some so he could unclasp her bra... removing that in no time flat he threw it to the floor along with her blouse... his hands now traveling down towards her jeans... the button... he opened it with ease and pulled at her pants, pulling them down and off her legs... discarding them also quickly as she already had her hands on her panties... pushing them down also…discarding them.
John smiled as he looked at her, she was naked and beyond beautiful to him... she was everything, he watched a few minutes too long as he heard her comment.
"Okay... you gonna join the party?" she asked joking and he knew she wanted his clothes off as she tugged at his shirt, pulling it out from where it was tucked into his pants... yanking on It urgently she started on the buttons as well as he.
One by one they almost frantically crashed fingers now undressing him... over and over till his shirt was wipe open... till she moved up and pushed it off his shoulders touching his warn muscular chest in the process.
"John" she said and smiled as she ran her hand down to his pants... stopping on his fly... over his erection to rub him thru the material as she then grabbed at the button,... Opening it quickly and unzipping fast before he even had a chance to lose the rubing sensation, the shock waves she sent his body thru his pants... aiding to push his pants down his legs... his boxers now too he regained himself quickly... moved himself up on top of her body and let his mouth., his tongue take its turn.
Natalie arched up her back as his mouth made its way down to her breasts... as his tongue licked at her nipple causing her insides to dampen... to crave him even more and quick. Her legs fell open wider as she felt his mouth yet again start to glide down her body... down past her belly button and straight down her middle to her core... leaving her no time to object he took a hold of her... her clit with his mouth... suckling and tasting as Natalie started her low moan in ecstasy...over and over for a few minutes as he knew... just the right spot to make moan deeper, hardly... just the right thing to do to change her moans to screams... as he knew just what to do to cause such a reaction that she felt her whole body quivering... tightening and releasing.
John watched her pulling herself together as he traveled up her body this time towards her face ... he took a close look at it, the pleasure he gave her in her hazed over eyes... written all over her warm, sweaty face.
John started to regain himself... he tried but it was so hard too... he wanted to be in her... he needed to be in her and right away... he positioned his body above her... looked deep into her eyes... saw the desire, passion still in them and started to move himself closer to her core... to be one with her when he felt her bring her hands to his ass... grab him... guide him more anxiously inside her... touching his warmth... running her hands... her fingers back and forth over his backside as he thrust into her center.
John felt her bring her mouth up to his... kissing him...over and over, urgently... deeply ... with her tongue and he moved his actions faster... deeper and he heard her scream his name... over and over…as the smile.. it formed at watching her.. Hearing her.. Loving her.
"John…John…John.…." she was milking him for all he had inside... all he had stored up for her and he felt his body jerk... his release upon him and he felt her body... give in again...to him... jointly.
"Natalie " he spoke out... the only word he could get out as he came along side of her on the bed... as he pulled her close and held on to her... tight.
Slowly Natalie turned in his arms, awake as he still seemed to be sleeping, she touched his face gently, lightly not to wake him and she closed her eyes… wondering if this was a mistake... them making love again... and so fast... them being together, spending time together... was it going to make things harder for her... to pull away some... and not get sucked in... Sucked in completely by him and the dreams of a family… a life with him.
She opened her eyes and looked at his still very much asleep state and she hoped she found the strength still inside, the strength to still want to find her... for herself... and not give so much to him...she hoped, almost prayed that all of this wouldn't have her revert back to being all about him, taking care of him.
John slowly opened his eyes and saw her staring at him, her eyes a bit worried looking, a bit teary even. He reached his hand out to her face and caressed it lightly.
"hey... what's going on?" he asked and she smiled weakly " nothing" she spoke softly but he knew she wasn't being truthful. He just looked at her deeper.
"Just thinking, wondering if this... all of this is going to weaken me.… hurt me" she told him and he attempted to sit up but she stopped him with her hands.
'No...Its not like that, I mean ... .me... This has been nice... good... really good but...
I"
"But what?" john took offense for a moment, he shouldn't have but he did, they had just made love again, they were acting like old times, getting along great, things were feeling so good, really good.
"Don't get mad now John... you knew the deal this time... you know... I've been honest with you…I come first this time... who I am... the old me I'm trying to find... what makes me happy... what things I want in my life...I'm trying to find those things and then maybe find a nice balance in them"
John looked at her, he knew he couldn't be mad, he had no place to be, she was being honest with him this time around, they were communicating some on a different level but... he loved her... and he knew she loved him.
"Have you figured out what it is you want Natalie?" he asked her and she got out of bed, he too got up and followed her. She walked near the window of the room looking out.
"Not all of it, but some... some different... some very much the same" she told him and he asked again.
"What?" she turned and looked at him, maybe it was a bit premature for saying this , for bringing it up but... it might be the best time for it, to see if he had changed back to that person he once was, or was at least really willing to change back, find that person.
"I want to have a career, something that makes me happy doing, that challenges me some, a nice home, a... a... a man to spend it with... a life with someone... a family someday... with someone that wants that too... that isn't afraid or unclear of wanting that." She looked at him, deep into his eye as hers became watery with the few minutes it took him to speak.
"Not going to say anything john" she got a bit snide at his non silence, now was the time for him to reassure her that he wanted to have things with her... in life, a family.
"Natalie..." Natalie walked from the window quickly, she picked up his clothes from the floor. Threw them at him.
'Get out john" she said softly " don't come back... this won't be happening again... "
'Natalie... no"
"Yes... I have to be strong enough to see what has been in front of me this whole time... you... you just don't want those things in life...the same as me... the same dreams... and... I can't go thru all of this knowing yet again... that I'll put myself in a position to not have one of the things I want most in life… something.. . I deserve in life."
'You don't understand" he told her as she walked towards the bathroom.
"I don't understand... then say it... say when all is said and done, when we've found ourselves, and each other again... that you want to get married, marry me... have a family" John looked at her challenging face, and he didn't know why but he couldn't tell her, he just couldn't.
"I guess I have my answer…don't come by... don't bother calling ... don't anything... I will not do this... with you.,. any part of it again.…I deserve more and by God... I'm going to get it"
