Ch 13

John listened as Michael spoke.… told him what Natalie did for Jessica... how the procedure was going well... how the Dr' said she and the baby too would be alright... should fair alright when Natalie developed a complication, an infection and they had been trying to fight it with mild medication for the past day.

John.. His body… now feeling the fear along with heart as Michael went on to explain how her body.. it was shutting down some… how it wasn't responding to any mild treatment.. any Mild medicines and how she needed more… strong stuff at this point to save her.

"Johnny... if they give her the other meds... the baby...it will cause permanent damage... or... it could just... abort itself" John held his hands in his face... this was a nightmare... his worse damn nightmare. He looked over to Michael as he heard words he knew she must have said… words she must have told Michael.

"She… she knew John… she asked to do everything possible... to save the baby... and too still try and save her sister... but… at this point… if she doesn't… if we're not able to fight the infection… she... and the baby... they'll… well…they'll" John looked to his brother… he knew what he was trying to say… he did... she would… could die… her.. his life… his love... and the child... the baby... neither of them knew about... they could both be gone... to this world... to him... forever.

John gathered himself quickly... he took a deep breath and walked from his brother... then... he ran as he went running thru the halls... to find her... them. Not thinking about anything else but the fear... the loss that was close to being upon him... the helplessness he hated to feel.

Finally stopping he came upon a door surrounded by her family. He walked over towards the door, didn't speak to anyone as he started to approach the door, open it but...Clint... he stepped in front of him and blocked his entrance... causing John to move back from the door.

"Sorry Son... only immediate family" Clint told him harsh and John just looked at him.

"You're not stopping me from seeing her... and I want her to have the damn stronger meds... she can't die" he told him and the man backed up some from his face... he moved out of his way and let him enter her room.

John nodded his head as he saw him allow him entrance... he walked in and held his breath as he saw her... as beautiful as she was... she was drained, her face, her body... machines monitoring her... She wasn't awake; he walked closer and grabbed a chair.

"Natalie" he said and he touched her hand, he started to caress it. " I've mess us up... so much... I have...you and I... I.… I... I can't survive in a world without you... a life without you in it.… without you"" he told her and he held on to her hand tight now... grabbing her palm and not releasing it... he sat... for a few more minutes... closing his eyes remembering … the images in his head the night of his car crash.

The visions of them, together... two kids. A smart mouthed boy that looked a lot like him, a beautiful little girl… long red hair… to match Natalie's.

He opened his eyes..."you can't die on me... you can't leave me... you're my world... and I know... I never said it... or say it... but... you can't" his eyes watering at the thoughts that now ran wild in his head. He stood for a moment, leaned down kissed her hand.

"We'll still have time... to have them Natalie... a whole bunch... as many as you want... but... right now... right now... you need to get better... you need the Meds" John turned away from her and looked right into Vicky's eyes.

"John..."

"Ms Davidson... please... tell them... to give her the other stuff... and now...please" he pleaded with her and she motioned for him to come into the hall.

'John... I can't," she told him and he looked at her... stunned.

"Natalie can't die... we can have other children...I won't let her die" John told her and Vicky looked at him.

"John... this isn't your call"

'I wish everyone would stop saying that... all right... yes... I'm nothing to Natalie ... right now... okay... nothing but the man that loves her beyond anything else... the ass that made her unhappy... okay... but... she can't be out of this world... out of my life...damn it... I need a second chance... she needs one too.… we need it and ... and " john started to lose it some as Vicky walked closer to him " if she dies... I'll never get the chance... to tell her... all I saw for us... to show her... to ask her to spend my life with me..." he told her somber and his eyes... they started to shed tears... a few ran down his cheeks.

"Please... allow them to give her the other stuff right away… so it has time to work…please." he again pleaded with her.

"John... Natalie had me promise... that I would save the baby at all costs" John closed his eyes.

"At the cost of her? Mrs. Davidson.… as upsetting as this is...with finding out about her carrying our child...its worse thinking of raising a child without her... a child not having her ... me not having her... and I know... I do... that it's selfish but... I can't help it... I can't...and... and ... if we wait... there's a chance of losing both of them"

"There's also a chance of saving both of them...Lets not underestimate my daughters strength... you and I... we've both seen it first hand" John fell silent for a few minutes... Vicky as upset as she was held things together. She watched him closely for another moment and then spoke again.

"John..." Vicky walked over and hugged him. " The doctor says... if Natalie can fight this. On her own... her body... we can save the baby from being hurt... we've only got a few more hours to try... alright...I'll make you a deal... we'll try and get my girl to bring her strength... to fight like we both know she can over the next few hours and if... If it doesn't work... I'll go against her wishes... I'll order them to give her the stronger medication"

John pulled from Vicky's motherly arms, looked at her. He shook his head and wiped the water from his cheeks.

John walked back into Natalie's room, sat again in the chair next to her.

'I'm here Natalie... I'm not going anywhere... I love you... and ... I know you love me... So fight... for your life... for us... for our child"

To be continued...