Momswapped Meet your New Mommy

Note: This is a parody of reality tv not a story about Peridot, Lapis or Jasper raising Steven.

Hello and welcome to Momswapped where we take 2 families and switch mothers for two weeks. In Brookfield, Minnesota we have Marianne Richler(35), a housewife and active member of her church and PTA with her husband Jeff(39) and their 3 children Suzy(11), Becca(14) and Bobby(8). Jeff is a bank manager for the local bank and is a scout leader. The family lives in a nice 4-bedroom house. (Family waves outside their lovely white picket fence with immaculately kept garden.

Marianne: I tend to run a tight ship with family values. We are active members in our community and go to church every Sunday. We also believe in traditional roles. Moms stay at home and Dad is the boss and breadwinner. I am proud to say that I am teaching my daughters to be proper young ladies.

Now in Beach City Delaware we have Pearl and her partner Garnet. Together they are raising their 4 adopted children, Steven(14), Peridot(36), Amethyst(4500) ad Lapis Lazuli(10000). The family waves in front of their Beach house, with a ruined temple in the background. Frequent visitor to the house is Greg Universe breadwinner and father to Steven. Greg lives in a van outside the carwash business he owns.

Pearl: To say this household is unconventional is an understatement. We spend our time fighting the forces of evil like monsters or the Diamond Authority. Just last week we drilled to the center of the Earth to destroy a monster that had been growing there for thousands of years.

Next up the Richler's meet the Crystal Gems.

The two families face off at a large table. On one side are the Richler's blond and blue eyed, Jeff is in a suit and tie, Marianne is in a blouse and capris, the girls are in nice dresses and Bobby wears jeans and T-shirt. On the other side are Pearl and Garnet with their 4 children, Steven Universe, Lapis Lazuli, Amethyst and Peridot.

Marianne: My what a colorful family you have.

Garnet (Smiles mysteriously) Thanks we're working on acquiring orange and yellow.

Host: Okay you know the rules. Moms you switch places for two weeks for the first week you follow house rules for the second week you set the rules which the family must obey. I am clear?

Pearl Nods

Marianne Nods

Week 1 Marianne

Marianne smiles into the camera. The camera pans around the beach house. Marianne's luggage is in Steven's cubby.

Marianne: To start with the sleeping arrangements are unusual. They just don't sleep or so I thought.

It is late at night and Marianne walks into the bathroom. Peridot screeches in fright causing Marianne to flee the bathroom.

Marianne: Let's just say after that experience I didn't need to use the bathroom that night. On the plus side they gave me Steven's bedroom to sleep in while Steven sleeps in his dead mother's bedroom. Mornings are start out normal I make breakfast then it all goes downhill from there.

Marianne is working away on the stove. She looks in pride at the wonderful breakfast she has made.

Marianne(shouts out): Steven, Amethyst, Lapis and Peridot time for breakfast.

Peridot wearily comes out of the bathroom. Followed by Amethyst and Lapis from the temple. Last comes a sleepy Steven in a large white ball gown. Marianne stares wide eyed.

Steven(indignant): What? My clothes are in the loft and I forgot to bring pajamas.

Marianne: You're bringing your pajamas in tonight as well as a change of clothes.

Marianne: Lapis and Peridot go off to school leaving Steven and Amethyst behind. Turns out today is laundry day.

In his ball gown Steven takes a basket of laundry outside only to be stopped by Marianne. Once outside Marianne inspects Steven's clothes. There are stains of every color imaginable, as well as dirt and some scorching.

Inside the house Garnet and Amethyst are laughing and drinking coffee. The house is in shambles bright green splotches are on the walls and there is broken furniture. Marianne comes inside and gasps.

Marianne: What in the name of god have you been doing?

Garnet (hands Marianne a mop) Our job, fighting monsters, now go do yours.

Marianne: Turns out Steven is a sweet considerate boy if a little strange.

Marianne is busy scrubbing the walls while Steven still in his ball gown is mopping the floor.

Marianne: You know the laundry is done now.

Steven: I know but this makes me feel closer to my mother.

Marianne: All is quiet until after school. Then I get to meet Connie.

Marianne is enjoying a cup of tea with Lapis while Steven has changed back into his normal clothes. The door knocks and Marianne answers it. There waiting outside is Connie (13) with a large sword strapped to her back. Marianne screeches and steps back.

Connie (With a weird smile on her face): Hi I'm here for sword fighting practice with Steven.

The two children spar outside as Marianne looks on wide eyed. It is later in the evening and Marianne has prepared a nice dinner of chicken casserole and green beans. Steven stares at the casserole while Peridot plays with it. Amethyst has already eaten hers and Lapis' Plates and all.

Steven: What is this? It looks weird, usually we eat microwave pizza.

Marianne: That is a real dinner, a chicken casserole. Peridot why aren't you eating yours?

Peridot: I don't like eating. The food gets stuck on your teeth on one end and on the other end(shudders). Besides I get my energy from harvesting light.

Peridot (to the camera): Sometimes I think that humans don't like eating either. Until Mrs. Richler told me that was a chicken casserole I had no idea what the components of that casserole was.

Marianne: The rest of the evening and the next two days are relatively quiet then it all hits the fan.

Pearl

Pearl: First off I do a lot of this at already at home. Though only Steven needs laundry and he does that himself now. Here on the other hand.

Pearl looks wide eyed at a huge pile of laundry. Then she reads the cleaning instructions and her eyes open wider. Grumbles to herself how this was going to take all day.

Pearl: Dinner times are a more elaborate affair. Honestly I don't believe they do this, every night.

Pearl sets up an elaborate dining table there are candles burning. She calls out to her new family before forming an evening gown. The Richlers all come in wearing suits and fancy dresses. Pearl serves them each their dinner which is pie.

Bobby:(Makes a face) Meat in pie I never heard of that. I'm not eating that.

Pearl: (Reads the cue card Marianne gave her.) You will eat it and you will like it. Think of the starving children in China.

The family talks about their day. Pearl forces herself to smile nodding politely. Pearl serves dessert which is unsurprisingly pie. The girls leave the table.

Pearl: Where are you going I made this pie for all of you.

Suzy: We have to watch our figures no man will want us if we look like fat pigs.

Pearl: Is this what your mother tells you?

Becca: (looks uncomfortable) No.

Pearl: Well then eat your pie. I have studied nutrition and I can tell you that you are not going to get fat eating your dessert. Besides at your stage of development you should not be-

Jeff: Okay enough with the Einstein talk. Let's not fill their heads with useless information.

Pearl glares at Jeff. The girls scurry off.

Later in the master bedroom. Jeff is stroking the bed looking up at Pearl.

Jeff: It's getting late don't you feel sleepy?

Pearl: No. I am an alien I don't need to sleep.

Jeff: Aw c'mon aren't you interested in experiencing a real marriage?

Pearl: The show is called Momswapped not Wifeswapped. I'm going to fix the furnace and then do laundry.

Pearl: (to the camera) Well on the first night I got a lot done. I prepared lunches for the children pies of course. Finished the laundry, prepared dinner and fixed the furnace. Also I didn't like the sound the car was making so I gave it a tune up.

Next morning Pearl the family gets up and ready for the day. The girls don't have breakfast while Bobby and Jeff eat a pile of pancakes. Pearl looks on in disgust.

Jeff: So what did you do last night instead of sleeping Pearl?

Pearl: I caught up on laundry, packed lunches and repaired your car and furnace.

Jeff: Well don't do too much you're making me look bad. While we're out can you mow the lawn, weed the garden and make something for the church bake sale?

Pearl: (to the camera) I can't wait for this week to be over. Then it will be my turn.

Marianne

Marianne: I am at my limit. First off there's the smell coming from Amethyst's room. I somehow managed to get in there and it was horrible.

Marianne's eyes widened at the trash heap that is Amethyst's room. There are strange unidentifiable creatures running around the piles of garbage. Then the slinker enters and attacks Marianne. The housewife beats it off surprisingly effectively with a broom.

Marianne: Then after school Connie came in.

Marianne watches as the two teenagers run into Steven's room. She puts her head to the door and hears giggling

Marianne: Steven's a growing boy. There's no way he should be in his room with a girl with the door closed so I decided to put a stop to it.

Somehow Marianne manages to open the door to Steven's room. A huge T rex head bursts out snarling. Marianne quickly closes the door again.

Marianne: I needed a clean pair of pants after that. Then it is late at night I am cleaning up after Lapis when Peridot comes in followed by Amethyst.

Marianne: What are you doing out all night young lady?

Peridot: (Rolls her eyes) Working, I have a job at Funland you know.

Marianne: and you Amethyst.

Amethyst: hey I'm over 4 thousand years old I don't have to answer to you.

Marianne: Then act like it. And you Lapis stop treating me like a maid.

Later on Marianne is trying to get some sleep while Amethyst and Lapis watch TV. Peridot peers her head out the bathroom.

Peridot: Keep it down will ya? I'm trying to finish my history report.

Marianne: If I thought last night was bad today was even worse.

Morning and Peridot and Lapis are squabbling over something. Peridot pushes Lapis and in response Lapis forms a water hand and slaps Peridot.

Marianne: That's it you're grounded young lady and no TV.

Lapis narrows her eyes.

Peridot and Lapis leave for school while Garnet meditates in her room. Amethyst is with Steven they are fiddling with an old car.

Marianne: Amethyst what are you doing?

Amethyst: (Shouts out) Teaching Steven some life skills. Right now we're hotwiring a car and then we're going driving.

Marianne: That really isn't appropriate shouldn't you like be teaching him school courses or something?

Amethyst: Well that's Pearl's job and I don't know how to read.

Later on in the day school ends. Connie appears and they at Marianne's insistence spar outside. All seems well until Peridot comes home. Marianne is enjoying a cup of coffee when she hears screaming. Outside Connie is chasing Peridot with a big pink sword. Steven looks on with a sweet looking grey kitten in his arms.

Marianne rushes outside and grabs the two.

Marianne: Ladies what is going on?

Peridot: I don't know I was just thanking Steven for all the help he's given me when Connie went crazy.

Connie: You said he could have your pussy.

The kitten meows sweetly. Steven smiles and strokes the kitten. In the background Lion snarls.

Peridot: That's right Lars in the Big Donut said this would be the best gift I could give Steven, a pussycat.

Marianne: That's it Connie I'm calling your mother, then I'm calling on Lars right now and get to the bottom of this.

Marianne:(Speaking on the cell) Hello Mrs. Maheswaran your daughter is nothing more than a sword fighting hooligan. No this is not Pearl. My name is Marianne Richler. Look It doesn't matter, your daughter tried to run through Peridot with her sword. Doesn't matter not serious? Well I can see where she gets her callous attitude. Don't let your daughter come here again. Goodbye.

Marianne marches right down with Steven and Peridot in tow. She knocks on Lars' house inside she hers meowing. A tall lanky teenager holding a cat answers the door. Two other cats race out the front.

Lars: Hello can I help you? Oh Steven did you like the kitten I helped Peridot pick out?

Marianne: turns out Lars' mom is a crazy cat lady. (Looks down at the kitten and strokes it) Though I can see where's she's coming from.

Next morning the temple door is open. Marianne with mop and cleaning supplies lets herself in.

Marianne (To camera) Part of my job is to clean and maintain the home. So I tried again today. First there was Lapis's room.

Marianne sees the flowing water towers looks round and then dumps chlorine tablets into the water.

Marianne: Next I tackled something called the burning room

Marianne is in the bubble dungeon with a feather duster. Dusting the bubbled gems. A flustered Amethyst rushes over and shoos Marianne away.

Marianne: After that they said I should home school Steven for a while.

Marianne is sitting on the kitchen table with Steven as he does his schoolwork. The boy gets bored and reaches for his ukulele which Marianne snatches away.

Marianne: Things ended up being rather quiet and then it was bedtime for me that is.

Amethyst and Lapis are watching TV at full blast laughing away. Marianne in her pajamas asks them to stop but they just ignore her. After a few minutes Peridot very angry and cranky walks over and smashes the TV. Off camera the crew claps.

Peridot: Now will you go into your rooms for the night?

Amethyst: I'm reporting this.

Pearl

Jeff: (To the camera) I know I wanted to try something new and I know Pearl has been obeying all our house rules but I am at my limit. Every day it is the same thing pie, pie for dinner, pie for lunch and pie for dessert. I asked her to please make something different this is what I got.

The family all sat at the dinner table looking apprehensive. Pearl walks in with a pizza carton.

Pearl: Well people I took your requests to heart and decided to do something different. Tonight I have ordered us some pizza.

Bobby: Alright Pizza pie!

Jeff face palms.

Pearl: (To the camera) Well since I do most of the housework at night, my job during the day is to act as chauffer. I take the kids to school, Jeff to work and after school I run the kids to their various after school activities. Bobby to soccer and scouting. The girls both go to ballet and Becca trains for an upcoming beauty contest and goes to modelling school. Suzy goes to an afterschool art program.

Jeff: (grins manically) I at the end of my rope. If I see another piece of pie, I'm going to scream but I have a plan. Yes, I do. (laughs wildly)

They family is outside of the house. Jeff and Bobby are dressed in hunting gear standing in front of the car.

Jeff: Me and Bobby are going on a hunting trip with a friend of mine. We'll be away for the entire weekend.

The pair drive off leaving Pearl with the two girls.

Pearl: So what do you do during the weekend?

Later in the house the girls are having a huge pajama party with 20 of their closest friends. The music is blaring, the pop is flowing and chips are being eaten with abandon. Off to the side Pearl slumps down on the table.

Pearl: I really doubt they do this, every weekend but these girls deserve some fun.

Meanwhile in the forest round the campfire Jeff, Bobby and his friend Mitch are seated skinning rabbits.

Mitch: Well that was quite a big haul of rabbits. How about we try a recipe my wife got for me?

Jeff and Bobby nod enthusiastically. Later Mitch presents then with a large pie.

Mitch: Ta da it's rabbit pie. Just like what the pioneers used to eat.

Jeff beats his head against a tree trunk.

Marianne

Marianne: (To the camera) It is Friday night and we are at Greg's carwash. The man is living in a van and he has a perfectly good apartment in the carwash. He doesn't use it because he says its haunted so we are here tonight on a stake out. I knew this family was nuts I just didn't expect the human to be crazy too.

Garnet: (Smiles at the camera) When Steven told me of Greg's predicament. I knew exactly what to do. This thing is not ghost but rather a corrupted gem monster taking refuge in the apartment over Greg's office. We're going subdue and contain it.

Marianne and the gems are all sitting on the floor in Greg's abandoned apartment. The gems including Steven have their weapons ready. Marianne is holding a large spear.

Marianne: Tell me why am I doing this again?

Garnet: You are taking Pearl's place and this is one of Pearl's duties.

Marianne: So Pearl does all the housework, homeschools Steven and fights monsters. Isn't that a little too much for one person even if she's an alien.

The night passes slowly as the group waits. Steve starts to fall asleep as Peridot does her homework on her computer. Amethyst leaves and comes back with a big flask of coffee. Later Peridot falls asleep in Steven's arms. Marianne is about to separate them when Amethyst shakes her head. Then at about 3 am it happens. A black mist forms in the corner causing Marianne to let out a small screech Garnet and Amethyst look truly afraid. The mist forms a series of faces howling in agony. Garnet tries punching the mist to no effect. Meanwhile Steven and Peridot wake up.

Steven: (wind blowing his hair) What's happening?

Peridot: That is no corrupted Gem. I don't know what that is.

Marianne: Oh my god it really is a ghost.

Amethyst: (smiles and pulls out cell phone) No problem I know exactly what to do. Hello Elder Bearclaw I need you to burn some sweet grass in purification ritual. Yep ghosts again.

Marianne: You have a shaman on speed dial?

Amethyst: Hey our work makes us meet interesting people.

Later in the morning Bearclaw meets up with the gems in their house.

Bearclaw: Well I did a little research on the carwash and I can tell you the news is not good. Not only was it the site of an ancient Indian burial ground but the apartment was where a serial killer known as the Beach City Butcher killed and dismembered his victims. This won't be fixed with a simple smudging ritual. In fact, it would take a lot of sweet grass.

Garnet: How much?

Bearclaw: Oh about a ton and even then it may not work. Honestly I have never seen a site this haunted. Greg is right to live in the van.

Off in the background Peridot gets ready for work.

Marianne: Wait I haven't packed you a lunch when will you be back?

Peridot: Mrs. Richler I don't need to eat and I will be working at Funland until late at night as I don't need to sleep.

Marianne: Still a girl your age should have some time to play.

Lapis: Peridot isn't really an adopted daughter. She's a prisoner of war that's only kept alive by the fact that the gems have use for her.

Marianne frowns

Later Steven and Lapis leave the house for a day at the beach.

Marianne: Remember to be back in time for dinner.

Marianne: (To the camera) Now that the kids are off playing I have some time to myself. I first stop off at the library.

Marianne is browsing the books on child welfare laws and a copy of the Geneva convention in regards to prisoners of war. Taking a load of books, she leaves.

Marianne: (To the camera) I made a few preparations for my time in the roost and then the rest of the weekend is very quiet.

It is late at night Peridot slumps on in and collapses on the sofa. Amethyst walks in to get a snack and shakes Peridot awake.

Amethyst: Yo! you sleep in the bathroom nerd.

Week 2

Pearl

Pearl blares an airhorn waking up the entire household. The entire family rushes down in their pajamas.

Pearl: Wakey, wakey time for your fitness routine. First, we're going to do a couple of laps round the block and then we're going to learn some martial arts. Won't that be boodles of fun.

Becca: No!

Pearl: If you do this you'll be able to have breakfast and dessert. I'm including you Bobby.

Suzy: Yay breakfast!

The girl starts running in her PJ's. Jeff grumbles and goes back to bed.

Jeff: (To the camera) I don't believe this Pearl won't make me breakfast. Isn't that what a wife is supposed to do.

Pearl: (in the background) It's called Momswapped not Wifeswapped.

It is dinnertime. Pearl urges the children to sit down in their normal clothes. There are no candles, no table cloth and no fancy silverware. The kids gasp in surprise as Pearl has made a lovely dinner of tuna casserole, potatoes and a salad.

Jeff: Now you prepare a normal meal?

Pearl: Yes, those pies were my fanciest recipes. It didn't seem right serving tuna casserole in formal wear.

Pearl pulls out a cake with a big smile on her face.

Pearl: After you finish your dessert how about I help you with your science homework Suzy?

Suzy: Dad says all girls need to do is look pretty and please a man to survive.

Pearl: Yes, you can survive that way but is it living? With a proper education you can do whatever you want get a nice job and not be dependent on someone. Rather you can marry for love and not necessity.

Jeff: I did not agree to this so that you could fill my girls' heads with stupid ideas. I believe in traditional gender roles the woman is servant to the man. To teach girls life skills would make them independent and I don't want that.

Pearl: What does your wife want?

Jeff: It doesn't matter I'm the boss.

Pearl: Not anymore.

Later in the night Jeff is sleeping on the couch.

Jeff: What pains me is that Pearl doesn't even need to sleep.

Marianne

Marianne: (To the camera) Seeing Peridot and Steven I am reminded of my own kids. Steven like my son Bobby has very few responsibilities he doesn't even go to school and the entire household revolves around him. Peridot what can I say about Peridot she's rude, obnoxious and thinks she's smarter than everyone else in the house. She's also frightened, tired and treated like a slave. Time to set the house rules.

It is morning and Marianne blows a whistle. The noise wakes up Peridot who sticks her head out. Marianne marches up and surprisingly opens Steven's room. She rustles the gems including Steven out.

Marianne: All right everybody it's my turn and there are going to be a few changes around here. For starters, Steven get dressed you're going to school with Lapis and Peridot. Amethyst I've arranged an appointment at the community center you're going to be taking an adult literacy program. Then after school Lapis you'll be working at Funland with Peridot. Time to know the value of work. Garnet I've got you a job in financing let's see if you can use your future vision to make money and finally Steven again I've given you a few chores. First off is to feed your cats.

Steven grumbles as pours a bowl of cat food for the kitten and then sets out a huge bowl of offal for Lion. The magic creature sniffs and then flips the bowl over.

Steven: I know it smells offal but it's all we've got.

Steven: (to the camera) school was weird usually when something's boring I could get up and leave but not here. I have sit down and listen. The principal took away my ukulele.

Entire class claps as Steven ukulele is snatched from him.

Steven: I never realized before how weird or annoying bursting into song is and everybody hates my ukulele. But I have something better.

Enter Steven with a guitar strapped to his back.

Steven: Now I'm cool again yay! I just have to grow my hair out.

Lapis:(to camera) After school was particularly embarrassing. Marianne got me work at Funland I had to wear this stupid uniform.

Lapis is leaning on the counter dressed up in a paper hat and a shirt. She pulls a lever and pours out a soda while Peridot looks on laughing.

Peridot: Well Lapis you are truly a jerk a soda jerk. Think you're too good for work think again.

Peridot continues laughing as she walks away. Lapis glares at her until Smiley barks an order at her.

Amethyst: (to the camera) Yeah I thought I would be humiliated but it wasn't that bad. Turns out there a lot of people who have problems reading.

Enter Mayor Dewey in dark sunglasses as he creeps into the community center. He sits next to Amethyst and looks cautiously around. Later Amethyst is sitting with Marianne at a desk reading aloud a book.

Later at the beach house it is dinner time. Peridot reluctantly comes in to sit at the table.

Marianne: Alright everybody while you were out I made a few changes. Steven, Peridot I'd like you to look at the cubby.

Steven and Peridot's eyes widen. In Steven's cubby is a bunk bed. Marianne also has some building supplies on hand.

Marianne: That's right I've placed up bunk beds in your room. This week you'll be sleeping with me but after the show is over you'll be sharing a room with Steven. I think you are a good influence on him it'll be up to you to decide who's on top and who's on the bottom.

Garnet: Beginners usually start out with the man on top.

Marianne, Steven and Peridot blush.

Marianne: Amethyst I realize you've lived for thousands of years but truly your room is a mess. I'd like you to follow me your room.

Amethyst's jaw drops. In the middle of her room is a small bulldozer. The purple gem slowly circles it as Marianne speaks.

Marianne: Now we can do this one of two ways. First off is that you drive the bulldozer and I set the traps. Second off is that I drive the bull dozer, the staff at Momswapped were kind enough to train me in operating heavy machinery.

Garnet creeps up from behind.

Garnet: You better do it. I don't trust Amethyst around heavy equipment.

As Mariane pushes the junk out of Amethyst's room. The purple gem sets out several traps of different sizes from a simple mousetrap to large mats of sticky paper. Amethyst shouts as she gets herself stuck.

Amethyst: (sobbing)Why, why do we even need sticky mats this size why?

Marianne: We need to catch that slinker thing.

Garnet: I don't need future vision to see that won't work.

Later that night. There is a crash from the temple followed by an inhuman howling. Peridot and Marianne bolt from their beds. Marianne is wearing a set of frilly pajamas while Peridot is in Steven's T-shirt and underwear. They race towards amethyst's room.

Marianne: Isn't that a little masculine?

Peridot: I guess it is but I have no sleepwear and you won't let me sleep nude.

They get to the source of the screaming waiting for them are Garnet, Amethyst and Lapis.

Garnet: I guess this did work.

The slinker is trapped on the sticky paper. As it struggles and screams it gets more and more tangled.

Marianne: Where's Steven.

Steven races in with his shield at the ready. He is wearing his banana pajamas. He is about to attack the slinker when Marianne waves him off. She then takes a broom and starts beating it as the other look on. Very soon the slinker poofs leaving a reddish gem behind. Garnet snatches the gem away from Marianne.

Marianne: (To the camera) After that Garnet makes some sort of bubble and takes it away. I would have loved to made it into some sort of jewelry. Like a trophy to show off to my husband. The next two days relatively quiet.

Pearl

Pearl: (To the camera) Well things are going great. I have a lot less work to do than at home. When the family is asleep I do the housework and when they are at school I practice my fighting skills. Now however they caught me as I was practicing and the whole family is involved minus Jeff.

The children are outside in the back lawn. Each on is holding a spear as Pearl shows them how to handle their weapon. They mirror Pearl's movements as she leads them through spear fighting techniques. Then Pearls gets out a punching bag and instructs the children on how to stab the punching bag. She looks on disturbed as the girls end up viciously stabbing the punching bag over and over again.

Pearl: That was very effective. You girls learn very quickly.

Becca: We have a lot of pent up rage.

Suzy: Daddy says girls aren't supposed to get angry. If we do then- (She looks down and mumbles)

Marianne

Marianne: (To the camera) After the slinker everything seemed to be back to normal. Nothing unusual for them happened. Until Garnet bolted.

The made up family are at the dinner table laughing and talking until Garnet stands up bolt upright. The laughing stops as they all look at Garnet.

Garnet: There's trouble I gotta go. Marianne you're in charge, everybody else stay here.

Garnet runs out of the house, through the beach and onto the street. She still keeps running as the camera fades to black. Back at the beach house the family stares at each other in stunned silence.

Peridot: Garnet won't be long after all she didn't take the car.

Amethyst: Yeah but she looked really scared I think she was panicking.

Steven: Shouldn't we go after her?

Amethyst: (laughing) Steven one thing I learned is that if it frightens Garnet you should stay well away.

Marianne: I'm calling my family to check in on them.

Pearl

Pearl: (on the phone) Yes everything's fine. No nothing unusual has happened.

Pearl hangs up. The kitchen is a mess. Flour is everywhere, eggs strewn about and Bobby is looking proud as he puts a cake in the oven.

Meanwhile its getting dark and Garnet is still running down the street.

The next morning things at the Richler household start quietly. Everybody heads off to work or school leaving Pearl to wave goodbye. When they return martial arts lessons begins and then it's a casual dinner. The house has fallen into a quiet routine.

Later on as its getting dark the family are all together watching TV. Pearl laughs and points out the mistakes the show is making on sword fighting. Then they all stop as they hear a loud ominous knocking. Pearl reluctantly gets up and opens the door. On the other side a huge gem mutant screaming. Pearl slams the door in its face and locks it.

Pearl: Alright kids you know the drill.

Bobby: I'll go get the shotgun.

Becca pulls back the living room curtains revealing 2 or 3 cluster experiments staring through the window. The girl pulls the curtain shut. Both she and her sister pull out their spears. Jeff looks terrified as Bobby hands him the shotgun Jeff pushes it away takes the car keys and drives off from the garage.

Pearl: If I was married to that man I would divorce him right now. Alright somebody had me the cell phone.

Pearl speed dials her house. Meanwhile as Garnet is racing to the scene on foot Jeff's car passes her by.

Marianne

We are at the Beach house when Amethyst answers the cell phone.

Amethyst: Pearl how are you doing? Your house is surrounded by gem mutants and Jeff has run off. Don't worry help is on the way. I'll tell Marianne. (hangs up) Guys we have to go to Marianne's house pronto.

The entire gem family races to the rescue. Peridot, Amethyst and a cameraman are in Peridot's pod, Lapis is flapping her water wings and Steven and Marianne are on the back of Lion.

Marianne: Steven do you think we can get there in time?

Steven: Don't worry Pearl is strong in the real way. She'll be able to hold them off.

Pearl

The house is in shambles, the furniture is smashed, and the windows are broken. Gem mutants are pouring in from the windows and doors. Pearl and the children are back to back fighting off the monsters in the living room. The children are effectively fending off the gem mutants with Pearl's spears. Pearl herself is using the shotgun to blow away the gem mutants.

Pearl: Hmm this is much easier than using my spear. No wonder why Peridot thinks sword fighting is lame.

Meanwhile the strange convoy has passed Garnet on its way to the house. The house is surrounded by dozens of mutants trying to swarm the house. Steven and Marianne are the first to reach the house without a second thought Marianne runs straight into the house with Steven after her. Then comes Peridot's pod Amethyst pulls out her whip and attacks the mutants on the outside of the house. Peridot stays in the pod and starts blasting away with the pod's lasers. Lapis is the last to arrive, looking bored she forms a huge tidal wave from the sewers and washes the mutants away. Everyone except Peridot is swept away in a surge of filthy water. After the wave clears the mutants are all poofed and everybody else is outside spluttering.

Lapis: (To the camera) This a reminder to all you people out there. Stay one my good side or else.

The Families Meet up one last time

The families are sitting at a huge table. Marianne and her kids on one side Jeff is conspicuously absent while on the other side is the entire Gem family.

Marianne: Well thank you all for saving my family. I've learned a lot being in your house such as how to stand on my own two feet and properly take care of my family.

Steven: It seems to me like you already knew how to care of your family you just didn't have the confidence.

Marianne: That's sweet of you to say Steven but I'm not finished yet. Garnet while your family is clearly unique and capable I discovered many disturbing things. The way you treat Peridot is close to abuse if not actual abuse and in a way Steven and Amethyst are neglected. You work the poor girl.

Garnet: She's not a girl.

Marianne: But she is a child and you work her nonstop. You turn a blind eye when Peridot is bullied and in no way do you provide for her needs. She doesn't even have shoes. I found out Amethyst can't read so I decided to fix that. Steven has no responsibilities; he knows so little of the world around him it's actually criminal. (pushes a book) Here read this it's a section of the Geneva convention on the treatment of prisoners. Pearl in many ways you and I are alike.

Pearl: I don't think so.

Marianne: Yes we are. We're both overworked, we take far too many responsibilities and we've been following orders from someone we don't need. So assign your family some chores, send Steven to school and take some time for yourself.

Pearl: Well I must say your family is by far not perfect. Your husband what can I say. He makes all the rules and the entire household revolves around him. And when he ran away that just took the cake. Did you know that he tried to get me to sleep with him? Your 'traditional' lifestyle is harmful. The beauty contests, skipping breakfast and starving the girls. You just have to look pretty the only way to survive is to please a man. Gah it's toxic. What were you thinking?

Marianne: I thought that Jeff would take care of us all. Obviously I was wrong. (Hugs her children) So from now on we all will learn to stand on our own two feet and not be dependent on anybody. We're going to make our own rules, without my husband.

It is now 2 months since the mothers have returned to their families. Let's see how they have all changed.

Marianne: Well the swap proved to be a real eye opener for me. I never realized how capable I was until then. I definitely don't need someone to take care of me. After Becca won the talent phase of the beauty contest she enrolled in a nearby martial arts group. Suzy is still into art but she now has joined a science club. Bobby is taking a cooking class. He wants to be a world famous chef and travel the world and I made the biggest change in my life. I divorced Jeff and am now working as a beautician. Hey it may be a traditional girly job but at least I am standing on my own two feet.

Pearl: After what Marianne told me I decided to make a few changes. First off Steven is going to school now and has more responsibilities around the house. He's growing up so fast.

(Enter a 5-foot-tall Steven looking confident and proud)

Amethyst is now taking literacy courses at the adult learning center and now has a job at McDonald's. She is so proud of herself.

Amethyst: Thanks to the literacy courses I'm taking I've now opened a gossip blog. My readership is now bigger than Ronaldo' Keep Beach City Weird blog.

Pearl: Lapis moved out into the sea spire and the biggest change is with Peridot. We're treating her much better oh she still works, takes self-defense classes and goes to school but she now has her own room and she has time to play like the gemling she is.

(Steven is pushing Peridot on a tire swig. The gem is laughing having a wonderful time.)

Broadcaster: That's it for our trip down memory lane. Next up in the present the new Universes and the Johnson's.

An African American father and his 2 kids watch as an alien space pod flies right up into their driveway. Their jaws drop as they see a green skinned woman step out of the pod.

Peridot: Okay who's ready to have some fun?