14 and Pregnant
Camera pans to a small beach house in front of a large temple. The camera focuses on two children playing on the beach. One is Connie and the other is Steven who is fatter than usual.
Greg: (looking very sad) Well when I left my son in the Crystal Gem's care I never expected my son to become pregnant. I mean they are supposed to watch over him and protect him. I mean this never should have happened.
Camera goes to Lars at the Big Donut. Lars is a good friend of Steven Universe.
Lars: Well I guess I was the first to find out. Steven would often come in to buy something to eat. But lately his food choices have been odd.
Steven is at the big donut buys a jar of pickles and an ice cream bar. Then he places a pickle on the ice cream and eats it.
Lar: (Laughing) Whoa Steven if I didn't know any better. I'd say you were pregnant.
Steven: Are you saying I'm fat? (Runs away sobbing)
Sadie gives Lars a dirty look.
Sadie: You are such a jerk.
Lars: What? You aren't freaked out by what he's eating.
Later at the beach house we see Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst sitting on the couch.
Pearl: Steven had been acting odd lately. I mean having strange food cravings lately he's been moody.
Amethyst is sitting on the couch eating a huge pile of food. Steven is in the kitchen looking for something to eat. He comes out and stands in front of Amethyst.
Steven: You disgusting pig. You don't even need to eat and yet you've cleaned out the kitchen.
Amethyst: Hey what can I say I like eating.
Steven: That food is meant for me to eat not you. Pearl went shopping yesterday and now it's all gone. I'm going to the big donut.
Garnet: We knew something was wrong after the incident.
In the beach house Pearl and Amethyst are fighting with their weapons. They are destroying the beach house. Peridot tries running to safety while a stray bolt hits and poofs her. Garnet unperturbed is just drinking her coffee.
Steven: (Holding Peridot's gem) Garnet they're destroying the house. You're the leader stop them.
Garnet: Steven Pearl and Amethyst have a lot of issues to work out. Just let them fight it out. Next week they'll be buddies again.
Steven: Is that your idea of leadership? That sucks Pearl and Amethyst are fighting constantly. Now Peridot is hurt and you're doing nothing. A real leader would step in. A real leader would try to fix things.
Garnet stands up and towers over Steven.
The gems are in the hospital waiting room. Pearl and Amethyst aren't fighting and instead are glaring at Garnet. The fusion looks unconcerned as she reads a magazine. A very shaken Dr. Maheswaran comes out.
Dr. Maheswaran: Well after you told me Steven suffered a psychotic episode, I did a complete check-up. That was when I discovered something completely disturbing besides the concussion Steven is suffering from I discovered that he is pregnant. I know I didn't believe it at first but I have the X rays and ultrasound right here.
Garnet: How far along is he?
Maheswaran: He's about 4 months along.
Pearl: Wha? How did this happen?
Maheswaran: I was hoping you could tell me that yourselves. Look this is too bizarre I suggest you keep this under wraps.
Garnet: I have some idea Steven and Connie fuse once in a while.
Maheswaran: You mean they have sex
Garnet: No it is more intimate than that. It is not mere rutting but a meeting of body and soul. The fusion is an embodiment of their love for each other. They share everything, their thoughts, their feelings and even memories if they want to. While fused they become one single perfect being when they separate they are no longer quite the same.
Maheswaran: It may not have been sex but it sounds like they were far too young to engage in such an intimate act.
Back at the Beach house Peridot has finally emerged from her gem. The beach house is in shambles from the recent fight. Peridot is looking around disorientated as the door opens. Steven and the rest of the gems enter.
Peridot: There you are where were you? I emerged and found this place trashed. What were you doing?
Garnet: We had to drop Steven off at the hospital.
Amethyst: Yeah it was funny. We discovered that Connie had knocked up Steven.
Peridot narrows her eyes. As the gems sit around and laugh like nothing has happened Peridot marches out in a huff.
This time at the Maheswarans the family is setting down to dinner when they hear a knock at the door. Connie opens the door only to have Peridot jump on her. As the little gem tries to bite Connie's ears off the girl does her best to fend off Peridot.
Connie: Why are you acting like this?
Peridot: You know full well what you did you hurt Steven.
Connie: No I didn't he's my boyfriend and I love him.
Peridot: I heard straight from Amethyst.
As Connie's parents try to take the two children apart Pearl comes in a pulls Peridot away from Connie.
Pearl: Peridot stop this.
Peridot: No I won't that girl knocked Steven out.
Pearl: No Amethyst said Connie knocked up Steven. That means she made him pregnant.
Connie:(paling a little) Wait Steven's pregnant how did that happen?
Garnet:(popping in from nowhere) We think it the result of you fusing with Steven.
Stars appear in Connie's eyes
Connie: I'm going to be a mother?
The two families are sitting at the Maheswaran's kitchen table. On one side is Connie and her parents hovering around protectively. On the other side Steven and the Crystal gems Peridot is off in the corner.
Doug Maheswaran: Wait explain how my daughter could possibly get Steven pregnant.
Garnet: When a gem fuses they meld into one being sharing everything. Sometimes when they separate again a part of the gem is left behind. A perfect example is after Steven fused with Peridot he became smarter and calmer. In Connie's case we believe she left behind an egg that implanted in Steven's body.
Connie:(Glares at Steven) You fused with Peridot?
Peridot: It was a life or death situation Connie we were trying to save the world. Garnet from what I know the egg must be fertilized before it implants into someone's body.
Connie: Steven must have fertilized the egg internally. No way Steven and I have had sex. Nope I didn't have sex.
Peridot looks at Connie not quite believing her.
Pearl: Peridot Steven and Connie are very close. They've grown up together, trained together. Honestly you've only known Steven a few months.
Peridot: I thought that travelling to hell and back would have made us close.
Peridot walks away with tears in her eyes.
Steven:(To the camera) At first Connie was thrilled. She seemed to be very supportive.
In a store Connie is showing Steven some onesies. Then at the beach house Connie kisses and makes out with Steven making a point for Peridot to see. As Connie puts her hand on Steven's chest Steven yelps in pain. Connie backs off.
Steven: But then as my pregnancy advanced Connie started to lose interest.
Steven is lying on his bed looking tired. Peridot is beside him with some wet towels and ginger tea. The beach house door bursts open.
Connie: Hey Steven there's this new Dopcopter movie coming out. Do ya want to see it tonight?
Steven: Connie I can't. I've had this really bad day.
Connie: Well this movie should cheer you up.
Steven: I said no Connie. Not tonight I have a headache. I just want to lie in bed and sleep if I can.
Connie leaves in a huff.
Steven:(To the camera) Then I started to show. The gems had to buy me some maternity clothes.
At the clothes store the gems show Steven some cute maternity clothes.
Pearl: Look at these pants you'll have so much more room in them Steven. And these T-shirts they are a bit frilly but they can accommodate your growing belly.
Steven: (Holding up a dress) How about this?
Amethyst: Isn't that a little feminine for you?
Steven: I'm having a baby. That is about as feminine as you can get. Besides, I keep needing to pee all the time. This would be easier than pulling up and down pants all the time.
Pearl: I have to agree with you there.
Later an embarrassed looking Connie and Steven are walking down the boardwalk. Steven is wearing a maternity dress. The crowd starts to stare as a dark wet spot blossoms on Steven's chest. Connie clearly shaken pulls Steven away.
Connie: Oh look at the time. I have to go study group. Bye.
Steven: You know pregnancy has been hard but my family is so supportive. Tomorrow the gems are throwing a big party for me. All my friends will be there. Connie hasn't been around lately. She's been studying but school's almost over and we'll spend more time with each other. It's gonna be great.
On the beach the baby shower was begun. No expense has been spared, there is a huge spread of food, music and dancing. They have set Steven up in a lawn chair decorated with pink and yellow balloons. The gems and almost all his friends are there. Steven smiles and graciously accepts his gifts. However one important guest has not yet appeared.
Ronaldo enters holding a large teddy bear.
Ronaldo: So I thought Connie would be here.
Steven(Sobbing) I thought she would be here too. After all she is the mother of my baby.
Amethyst: (patting his back) there, there I'm sure she just got caught in traffic or something.
Steven: Her house is within walking distance
Amethyst: (Running away) Pearl I'm no good at this.
Pearl grumbles and pulls out a cell phone.
Pearl: Mrs. Maheswaran I was wondering where's Connie? After all it is Steven's baby shower.
Mrs. Maheswaran: Connie is moving with us out of Beach City. She's a good girl. Connie has a bright future ahead of her. She does not deserve to be dragged down by some boy who got himself pregnant. After all, can you prove that the baby's hers? We're changing our number don't call here again. (hangs up)
Pearl: I'm sorry Steven it looks like Connie won't be able to make it your baby shower. Steven?
Steven has collapsed out of his chair. The gems all rush forward to his aid.
At the hospital the gems wait anxiously in the emergency room. Dr. West a kindly elderly man comes out.
Dr. West: Steven's stabilized and resting for now but he's in a bad way.
Garnet: Tell us the truth doctor
West: It's a miracle that Steven's held onto the baby for so long but he's suffering under the strain of supporting this life. Males just aren't equipped to carry a baby.
Amethyst: Can't you cut the baby out of him?
West: Look right now the baby is 6 months along. It's too early to perform a C section. I've tried talking sense to him but Steven wants this baby. I was hoping you could convince him to abort.
Pearl: Steven would never forgive us if we made him get an abortion. I don't know what to do.
Garnet: How long does he have right now?
West: About a week before the strain is too much.
Peridot looks shifty eyed and smiles evilly. The next day Peridot is sitting beside Steven's bed. Steven is clutching his belly sadly.
Peridot: How are you feeling?
Steven: Terrible I thought that with all that happened Connie would be here. But she's still away. I mean we fused and now I'm having her baby doesn't that mean anything to her?
Peridot: Look I think Connie's crazy for leaving you like that.
Steven: Her parents moved out of town
Peridot: Well it's sad that this baby will grow up without a mother. Steven I have always loved you. Let me help you raise this child.
Steven: Y-you really mean it.
Peridot: Yes, can you walk?
Steven nods
Peridot:(very smoothly) Well then can I have this dance?
The pair dance a slow dance in the hospital room. Their gems glow and a single being is formed. It is a large effeminate looking man with brown skin and a goatee. He looks shocked.
Stevidot: Oh my Stars
Stevidot glows and then with a pop the pair separate. Steven stands up he is no longer pregnant.
Steven: Where's the baby?
Peridot stands up. Her belly is huge. She raises her arms into the air.
Peridot: Success now I'm the one who's pregnant. Coddle me, coddle me.
The gems come in and hug Steven. They ignore Peridot completely
Peridot: Wait what about me? I'm having the baby now.
Garnet: Welcome to the Crystal Gems. Steven is the one that matters.
Peridot: (to the camera) I thought that by carrying Steven's baby everyone would be treating me better. But despite the fact that I saved the Earth and just saved Steven's life I'm still treated like dirt. What do I have to do to get them to forgive me?
Garnet's voice from the background: Die.
Meanwhile at the beach house Peridot is trying to reach a jar of pickles but her big belly is getting in the way. Amethyst comes near and takes the jar. The purple gem walks away eating the pickles.
Later a sickly Peridot is sitting watching the TV Garnet walks over.
Garnet: Get up we need your help repairing the warp pads.
Peridot gets up and runs away sobbing.
Garnet:(making a face) Steven, Peridot's moody again.
An hour later Steven comes back with Peridot. From the looks of it she's been crying. Steven looks at Garnet.
Steven: Family meeting now.
They whole family including Greg is now seated round the kitchen table. Steven is sitting beside Peridot with his arm around her.
Steven: Guys, since Peridot has become pregnant you've been horrible to her.
Garnet: Steven she's now a Crystal Gem. Peridot has to contribute and not sit around watching TV all day.
Greg: Steven Peridot getting pregnant is not your fault nor it is your responsibility. Look the baby's not yours, you didn't have sex with her. Peridot who is the baby's father? He should be taking care of you.
Peridot beats her head over and over again on the table.
Steven: Dad Peridot fused and took the baby from me. She saved my life. I was the one pregnant remember?
Greg: Steven don't be silly. A boy can't be pregnant.
Steven starts to beat his head over and over again on the table right beside Peridot.
In the back ground Garnet gently leads a babbling Greg back home. Steven hugs Peridot looking sad.
Steven: I don't get it. It's like the last 3 months never happened. Doesn't Dad remember me being pregnant?
Pearl: It's not that Greg doesn't remember you being pregnant it's just that he doesn't want to.
Amethyst: Yeah you being pregnant really freaked him out.
Pearl: Humans tend to deny unpleasant realities. They'll tend not to believe what's in their faces and continue to believe in the old world view despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Steven: Still that doesn't change the one thing that's important. Look since taking my baby Peridot's feeling neglected and unloved. She needs to feel special.
Pearl: Well there are 20 million of her milling about in Homeworld.
Peridot: But none of them are pregnant. Look I am tired, my feet hurt and I feel nauseous. I am also hungry all the time but when I eat it all goes up again. And you guys keep working me like business as usual.
Amethyst: Peridot carrying around a baby is not work.
Peridot: Yes, it is that's why it's called labor. And another thing I need help preparing for the baby.
Garnet: Don't look at us we have no idea how to take care of a child.
Steven: Fine guys I see your point but now it all changes. We're going to throw a baby shower for Peridot.
Peridot:(to the camera) Oh I'm so excited I remember Steven's baby shower quite well. The entire town showed up, there was music and dancing and I'll be queen for the day.
Later during the baby shower Peridot looks irately to the camera.
Peridot: (To the camera) Well Steven tried I give him that. As I sit here I can see he got no help from the gems whatsoever. There is a big spread of food but nothing like his party. I guess he really can't cook that well. He must have given invitations to the entire town. Only a handful of people showed up and most of them didn't know what a baby shower is.
Peridot sits slumped on a lawn chair decorated with balloons. In front of her feet children of various ages play while Onion stands beside Peridot and pours water over her with a watering can. Steven smiles and puts on a brave face.
Steven: Alright let's give Peridot her presents and then we'll have cake.
The children all cheer.
Ronaldo enters with a large stuffed giraffe. He has a hopeful look on his face.
Ronaldo: Is Connie around here?
Steven: Ronaldo, Connie and her family moved out of Beach City.
Ronaldo runs away sobbing.
Peridot:(To the camera) This pregnancy thing is scaring me. I thought it would be easy since I am a female but it's not. I have mood swings.
Peridot is in the temple. Around her are various tools and some equipment in front of her. She is sobbing uncontrollably on the ground. Amethyst walks over.
Amethyst: Will you stop your crying already geez it's been 14 years already. (stops and sees that it's Peridot crying) Oh sorry Peri I thought you were someone else.
Peridot:(To the camera) I'm tired all the time.
The Crystal Gems are somewhere fighting a huge fusion mutant. They are getting their butts kicked. In desperation Garnet calls out to Peridot.
Garnet: Peridot fire the disruptor cannon now.
Peridot is sitting behind a huge cannon type weapon. She is fast asleep as she snores gently.
Peridot:(To the camera) And I have these strange food cravings.
It is late at night when Peridot marches into the Big Donut. The staff are closing up but stop when they see Peridot.
Peridot: You there I require vast quantities of beef and ice cream.
Dr. West:(To the camera) I'm very concerned about the baby's well-being. Steven and Peridot are trying their best but they are alone at this. The gems are giving no support. To top it all off it becomes increasingly obvious the Peridot has no idea what a baby is let alone how to take care of one.
At the hardware store Peridot is waddling around in a large T shirt. She inspects the power tools until she sees a drill that she likes. She waves over an attendant.
Peridot:(holding the drill up) Once the baby's born I want it to help me out with maintenance. Do you have this in a child's size?
Later at the beach house the gems are milling around. Steven is massaging Peridot's feet when the gems hear a knock at the door. On the other side is Dr. West and an unfamiliar woman.
Dr. West: Hello there, this is Connie McDougal a social worker. She's here to inspect the house and see what you have done to prepare for the baby.
Peridot grumbles as she gets up. She opens the bathroom door and motions for McDougal and West to follow. Inside is a small crib some toys and power tools nearby.
Peridot: The baby will be sleeping in my room so I have set up the crib and toys here.
McDougal: Wait you sleep in the bathroom? That's no place for a baby let alone a child like you. Isn't the baby's Steven's anyway?
Peridot: Garnet says Steven needs to get his sleep if he is to develop properly.
West: Well he's pretty well developed if he got you pregnant.
West marches out of the bathroom into the main room. He looks very angry and the gems gather round him.
West: Right I am very disturbed by what I am seeing now. For starters it is obvious that you haven't been doing a serious job of preparing for the baby let alone taking care of Peridot. I mean really a girl sleeping in the bathroom?
Peridot: It is the only room with a lock.
McDougal: You are going to have to make some serious changes or we will not only take the baby away but also Steven and Peridot.
Garnet: What do you suggest? We really are new to this.
McDougal: Don't play stupid Garnet I was here when Steven moved in. You know exactly how to take care of a child.
McDougal picks up the crib and carries it to Steven's cubby. Then she returns and places Peridot's possessions up there as well.
Pearl: Wait are you telling me you want Peridot to sleep with Steven?
West: Well he got her pregnant didn't he? Now Steven, Peridot I want you to report every week to natal care classes at Ocean town, where you will learn the basics of childcare.
Garnet: That's about a half an hour drive away. I'm not going there.
McDougal: You will take them! Raising a child is about sacrifices and inconveniences. I will be coming over next week and if I don't see some serious improvements both Steven and Peridot will be heading to a foster home and you will never see them again. Is that clear?
The gems mutter ashamedly. Later that night a smiling Peridot is cuddling Steven in their bed. The smile fades and her eyes open.
Peridot: Oh my Stars I have to go again. I might as well sleep in the bathroom since I spend so much time there.
Peridot: (To the camera) Things are much better now. Steven is so supportive. I admit natal classes were confusing and scary at first.
Peridot: (In the classroom) Wait so the baby won't be able to use a soldering iron? Oh man that sucks what else can't it do?
Nurse: Well they can't lift their heads either. Human babies are born helpless and their parents must do everything for them.
Peridot: And you haven't bred that out? What is wrong with you?
Peridot (to the camera) The gems have gotten me new clothes and are treating me much better.
Steven and Peridot are walking on the boardwalk. Peridot is wearing Steven's old maternity dress. They stop off at Fish Stew Pizza's. Peridot looks happy as she munches on a piece of pizza topped with fish. Then later at home Steven is massaging Peridot's feet.
Peridot: Oh yeah I can get used to this. (winces in pain) Yep that is definitely a contraction. Steven I think the baby's coming.
Steven: Hang on I'll call my Dad, no er Garnet. I'll call an ambulance.
In the operating room Peridot is sweating and pushing. Steven is beside her holding her hand he looks very concerned.
Steven: You know you didn't have to do this.
Peridot: Steven you want this baby. I'm doing this for you. Where are the others anyways?
Steven: They're uh on a mission.
On the boardwalk Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst are enjoying their own ice cream cones.
Amethyst: Mmm love that campfire ice cream.
Back at the hospital Peridot is almost ready to give birth. She is straining and screaming as the doctor looks down at her birth canal.
Peridot: (Grabbing Steven by the shirt) Where Connie? It's all her fault. Tell me where she is so I can kill her.
Doctor: Ma'am I can tell with quite some certainty that a girl did not make you pregnant
Peridot: So what do you know about Gem biology? Oh Goddess Steven it's coming.
Peridot strains, pushing with all her might. Steven is behind her holding both her hands. With one loud scream, Peridot gives one last push and the baby comes out.
Doctor:(hands over the baby to Peridot) Congratulations you have a baby girl.
Steven and Peridot look down at the baby smiling. Their smile fades as they look at the child. The little girl is brown skinned and has blonde curly hair. She looks like Ronaldo.
Peridot: What I've been carrying this baby for three months and it isn't even yours? I'm not taking care of that.
Steven: Connie was cheating on me. Well as soon as we're out of the hospital we're going to set things right.
Inside Ronaldo's lighthouse Ronaldo is playing on the computer. On the walls are pictures of warrior women. His head turns as he hears a knock on the door. When Ronaldo opens it he sees a very angry Steven and Peridot.
Peridot: (shoves the baby into Ronaldo's arms) I believe this is yours.
Next: On I Didn't Know I was Pregnant. Garnet is the strong confident leader of the Crystal Gems but on a routine mission it all goes wrong.
Garnet is fighting various nightmares. She groans in pain and doubles over.
Garnet: My water broke. I think I'm in labor.
The monsters look at one another and then run away as fast as they could.
