A Wedding Story
Steven and Peridot first met when they were 13 years old. Though the relationship was off to a rocky start since Peridot tried to invade the earth, their feelings blossomed from friendship into love. Now 10 years later Steven and Peridot want to make the ultimate commitment and marry.
Steven is a psychology major finishing his PhD. He wants to open a practice treating Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Peridot is on her post doc studying robotics at MIT. Once she has finished her studies hopes to patent her inventions and live with Steven in the town where they met Beach City.
Steven and Peridot are sitting on a couch side by side. Steven has put his hair back in a ponytail and is wearing a nice suit. Peridot has her hair in a braid and is human clothes a polo shirt and some jeans. Both still look like they're 12 years old.
Steven:(To the camera) I have this rare genetic condition that I inherited from my mother for the first 14 years of my life everything seemed normal. I even had a girlfriend of sorts.
Pictures of Connie and Steven appear. The couple first appear smiling but as Connie gets older and Steven stays the same the smiles fade and in the final picture an adult Connie and the still young Steven have their backs to each other.
Steven: Fortunately, I met Peridot who has the same genetic condition. Though it wasn't love first sight.
Peridot: When I first met him I tried to kill him. I'm actually an alien so I viewed him as some sort of pest invading my workspace.
Steven: But thanks to my natural charm I won her over. We had our ups and downs. Saving the world and all but we stuck together through thick and thin.
Peridot: When our trials were over I convinced him to set out on his own. Thanks to me he has become a man.
Steven:(Nuzzling her) In more ways than one.
Peridot:(To the camera) Buying a wedding dress has proved harder than expected. Due to my small size.
Pearl helps Peridot try on some wedding dresses. Because she is so small Peridot is drowning in the lace and satin.
Peridot: You there do you have any in a smaller size?
Attendant: Look you're about the size of a twelve-year-old. We cater to a to more mature crowd.
Peridot: I'm 23 years old.
Attendant: Well then I suggest either trying out some confirmation gowns or getting your dress made.
Pearl: Hey that's a great idea. Amethyst knows how to sew. In fact, she made all of Steven's clothes.
Peridot: Amethyst sews?
Pearl: Yes, well we all had our jobs raising Steven. You don't think Amethyst lay around the house eating all day did you?
Back at the temple Peridot makes a face as she tries on her 'dress'. Amethyst gives a thumbs up as the dress is a white T shirt with a yellow star and a pair of jeans.
Peridot: Can't make anything a little more formal? Like a dress?
Amethyst:(blushes) Uh no. I really just learned to make just one outfit. Why do you think Steven wore the same clothes day after day?
Peridot: Well, although this is cute I need a little more formal look.
Steven meets his future in laws
A huge flying saucer lands on the beach. The door opens forming a ramp through the blinding light we see to forms emerge. They are both Peridots one has a mass of blonde hair and has robotic arms and 4 crablike legs. The other has green hair wears thick glasses but is tall and has fully functional natural limbs.
Blonde Peridot: Hello I'm robotic unit 4x25v and this is my partner observation unit x5j
Tall Peridot: Peridot is our composite clone.
Steven: Wait Peridot has parents?
Peridot: No these are my gemetic donors. I am their co-clone
Blonde Peridot: Of course Peridot has parents. You don't think she just sprung out of the ground did you?
Steven: Isn't that how gems are normally made?
Tall Peridot:(laughing) maybe about 2000 years ago Kindergartens are obsolete. Now we mix gemetic codes and incubate it in a Pearl.
Steven: Peridot, you never mentioned your parents.
Tall Peridot: Young one you never told him about us?
Peridot: You sent me off to a boarding crèche as soon as I could walk.
Blonde Peridot: The best and might I add the most expensive boarding crèche.
Steven invites them inside. At the counter Peridot's parents are drinking or trying to drink some coffee. Pearl is with Steven and Peridot looking very protective.
Steven: So what do you guys do for a living?
Blonde Peridot: Well I build and repair warships and my partner here is an astronomer.
Pearl: But from the looks of it you can barely see.
Tall Peridot: So there is much more light than in the visible spectrum and besides I map gravity hotspots.
Steven: What was Peridot like when she was young?
Peridot: Steven, no.
Blonde Peridot: Oh our little pyramid was so cute. I have some holographs of her in my data files.
Tall Peridot flashes holograms of pictures of Peridot there is the standard stock of embarrassing baby pictures. The group laughs as they go through old times of raising Peridot.
Blonde Peridot: ..and we had the hardest time getting her to wear clothes
Tall Peridot: And that weird lingo she uses. I think she must have picked it up in Peridot school.
Steven: This is all very interesting but how did she end up on Earth if Kindergartens are obsolete on Homeworld?
Tall Peridot: Our little pyramid has always been fascinated by history.
Blonde Peridot: She wanted to be an archeologist but her supervisor trained her to become a Kindergarten technician. (laughs nervously) Now here she is bonding to one of the local lifeforms on this painfully primitive planet.
Steven: I'm half human.
Tall Peridot: Oh yes that makes things so much better since your guardians hunted and enslaved her.
Steven: But now she's free and has a life of her own. Everything's okay.
Blonde Peridot: Tell me if this was your daughter in Peridot's shoes would you see any of this okay?
The group starts arguing Peridot sighs and leads Steven away.
At the bridal shower the guests are having a great time. Peridot is enjoying the day as she unwraps her presents. Jenny hands her a box when Peridot opens it turns out to be a toaster.
Peridot: What a lovely drone thank you. Now drone effect repairs on Steven's game console. Drone?
Jenny: It's a toaster Peridot.
Peridot: Toaster, toast me some bread. Toaster?
Jenny: You really don't know much about Earth tech do you? Oh look here's a present from Connie.
Peridot: I thought she hated me. Oh well. Jenny why is this box ticking?
Garnet rushes over and bubbles the present. It explodes safely inside the bubble.
Steven and Peridot meet up with the Mayor of Beach City, Buck Dewey. Who is looking older but still wears shades.
Steven: We don't practice any religion but we would still like to marry.
Peridot: We feel it is necessary to formalize our status as a bonded couple.
Buck Dewey: Look it's all very cute and all but you are both still kids.
Steven: I'm 24 and I work part time as a social worker.
Buck: Steven you're 41/2 feet tall you don't even shave yet. Peridot, Peridot do you even understand what marriage means?
Peridot: I've been living on this planet for 10 years. I understand Earth customs.
Buck: Yeah right. Guys you're my friends and all but I just can't sleep if I let this marriage happen.
Peridot and Steven leave. Later in the beach house Peridot and Steven are frantically making calls.
Steven:(looking very hurt) Well we've made a few calls. It seems like nobody in Beach City feels comfortable marrying us.
Peridot: In their eyes we're just a couple of kids. I told you we should have married in Boston.
Steven: Well Peridot is right in this case but that still means we have to make some last minute changes.
Peridot: Like cancelling the florist, caterers and DJ. It looks like we're going to have to delay the wedding thanks to this fiasco.
Steven: Speaking of which do you have your wedding dress yet?
Peridot: No but I am looking at vintage clothing. In the past women were of much smaller stature. Perhaps I will have some luck there.
Back in Boston the couple are making last minute preparations.
The couple are in a bakery trying to order a wedding cake.
Peridot: Greetings bakery worker, I am Peridot and this is my fiancé Steven. We would like to order a cake for our wedding.
Baker: Oh don't you two look cute? Well I've got just the thing (pulls out what is clearly a child's cake) this beauty will go great with ice cream. Perfect for your 'wedding'.
Steven: I'm 24 years old and we're having a real wedding.
Baker: Oh ah sorry about that. It's just that you two look so young. So is this cosplay?
Peridot: No my skin is actually green.
Baker: Well ah never mind how big is the reception?
Peridot: Less than 60 humans.
Steven: Peridot? What do you mean by humans?
Peridot: Okay I invited a few friends from work. Don't look at me like that. If you could invite the whole town in Beach City why can't I invite my coworkers.
Steven: Well how are we going to feed them?
Peridot: Don't worry my gemetic donors have hired caterers they should be here any day now.
Just outside of earth's orbit a squadron of flying saucers are flying to earth. Back on Earth in a military bunker the klaxons are going. Inside are a general and a lieutenant in front of a monitor.
Lieutenant: Alien crafts please identify yourselves state your purpose.
Incomprehensible warbling is the reply.
Lieutenant: Sir they say they are a wedding party and carters.
General: Wedding party what species?
Lieutenant: They say they are gems sir and they're with the bride.
General: Well as long as it isn't a Nausican bachelor party I'm fine with that. Very well give them permission to land.
Back in Boston the wedding party's saucers land in a huge park. One the dust has cleared the doors to the saucers open. Out comes gems of various colors with robotic drones holding equipment of some sort. A police officer walks up to the gems and hands them all traffic tickets and then walks away.
The big day arrives. The guests are in a big reception hall. It has been decorated with pink and green streamers as well as some alien looking flowers. On one side Steven's family and his friends from Boston are there. On the other side Peridot's tall parent and her friends from work both in Boston and Homeworld. It is a strange and motley crew, gems and humans side by side. Steven is wearing a formal suit and waiting at a floral arch. The music begins and the toaster walks down the aisle as a flower girl. Moments later Peridot walks in with her robotic looking parent. She is wearing a green Tudor style dress and headband. As she comes up to the front, the robotic parent gives her away to Steven.
Steven: That's pretty retro, are you sure that's a wedding dress?
Peridot: I made sure of that when I bought it at the antiquities store. Besides I don't really think I should be wearing white.
Steven and Peridot laugh.
Steven: Well you still look beautiful (Kisses her)
The music suddenly stops. Up on the balcony of the reception hall a distraught Connie is seen.
Connie: Steven!
Steven cringes in embarrassment as two ushers pull her away.
The justice of the Peace in Boston presides over the ceremony.
Justice of the Peace: Dearly beloved we are gathered to join in matrimony this man and this woman and though they look like children have proven themselves to be adults. The couple have chosen to read their own vows.
Steven: Before I met you my life was like a TV show with me as the star. I was the center of the universe. I knew so little and didn't ask questions. Then you came into my life. With you around I started to notice the world and ask questions. As I explored the world with you it was you who taught me so much, about responsibility and logic. Without your help building the drill we would have never stopped the cluster. You got me out of my comfortable rut and showed me new worlds.
Through you I started to grow as a person. Through your love and you can love no matter what others say I became a man. You showed me that love is give and take. That there are times when you must focus on your partner and not yourself. Thank you for turning me from the king of Beach City to a citizen of the galaxy
Peridot: Steven before I met you my world was filled with rules and regulations. It was safe, orderly and predictable and then I crashed into your planet and met you. Before I met you my life was cold and logical but it had no warmth. I did not know how to feel. On Earth I learned about fear and pain. I was so confused then you rescued me. With your love and patience, I learned about happiness and compassion. You taught me how to love. You made me feel wanted and valuable. Thank you Steven for teaching me how to feel.
Justice of the Peace: By the state of Massachusetts, I pronounce you husband and wife.
Steven places the ring on Peridot's finger. On it is a Lapis Stone.
The two kiss. After the vows are said Steven and Peridot turn towards the group. The crowd all clap.
Steven:(holding Peridot's hand) Well you are probably wondering after 5 years living together we finally decided to marry.
Peridot: The fact is we have something very important to tell you. Something that makes this marriage even more important.
Steven:(looks at his bride) Peridot and I are having a baby. That is why we decided to marry now.
Greg turns green and vomits. The Crystal Gems and Peridot's gemetic donors look disturbed.
Pearl: It's not that we aren't happy for you it's just that you're only 24 Steven.
Tall Peridot: Are you even using a pearl how far along are you?
Peridot: I have about 2 years to go and no I'm not using a pearl.
Yellow Diamond's pearl sighs in relief.
Later at the reception two cakes are cut. One a cake for the humans and the other a glowing blue 'cake'. After the cake is eaten the couple has their first dance as husband and wife. The crowd gasps as they glow and turn into Stevidot. Stevidot is a large thin man wearing Peridot's wedding dress. He has brown skin and hair.
Stevidot: Whoops got at little too excited. We'll separate now.
The two diffuse and then it's onto saying farewell.
A few moments later the couple are standing and waving in front of a flying saucer. On it is a sign that says 'Just Married'. The happy couple get in. Peridot can be seen in the window getting ready to fly. Then the saucer lifts high into the sky.
Greg: Where are they going?
Garnet: I think that doesn't matter. They are spending two weeks away where Connie can't follow.
