Epilogue
Grief was a nasty beast that managed to exploit the most sensitive parts of you. It was a feeling that most everyone goes, through in their life, and is forced to cope with. For Dean, coping with Matt's death, meant acknowledging what happened to him, and that was a tricky road he could not cross.
It had been a week since he returned home from the hospital after spending the last several days learning how to use his arm again. The official report from the doctor was that he sustained "significant" damage from the animal attack. Far from wanting to remain captive in a rehab center, his family agreed to bring him home after getting detailed instructions from the doctor.
Being home was good; it distanced him from the trauma of Missouri and forced him back into his routine. Now that he had a shoulder injury to contend with, and a burst eardrum, his training had been altered. No longer did he venture downstairs for the sole purpose of having fun.
Now it was all about regaining strength in his arm. That was no easy task when he could barely move it. Hardly undeterred from trying his hardest, he pushed himself beyond what he thought he would be capable of when he first started. The progress was slow, but it was the small milestones that made the difference to him.
Instead of worrying about whether or not he could shoot a far-off target, his main goal became lifting his arm high enough to catch something. One of his favorite activities to do, was throwing a tennis ball with Caleb. It was one of the lower-intensity workouts and one he particularly enjoyed.
Walking downstairs for the start of one of his workouts, he noted Caleb was already down there waiting for him. Walking was difficult when he had to think about his arm. Although the doctor wanted him to wear a sling, he refused. He would not wear one when he did not need it, and neither of his family argued with him.
Caleb smiled when he saw him; his eyes sparkling with a gratitude that Dean was alive. With how touch-and-go it was, Dean recognized how he might have felt. Giving him a one-armed hug, he grinned when he felt Caleb's arms squeeze him back.
"How are you doing, bud?"
Dean nodded slowly, pushing the tears from his eyes with a mental shove. "I'm crappy, but I'll be okay."
"Matt?" Caleb guessed, reaching his hand out to rub Dean's shoulder.
"Yes."
"We haven't really talked a lot about him-"
"It's because there's nothing to say. He died, and I almost died."
Caleb took a second to think about what he was saying. One of the most wonderful parts of their bond, was when Caleb was able to ascertain what Dean was going through because of it.
"I think there's a lot to say. I just don't think you're ready, Dean, and that's okay."
The child supposed that could be true. He had plenty that he wanted to say about Matt's death, but it was impossible to form the words for it. Sitting down on the sofa on top of some oddy-shaped sofa cushions, he yelped in surprise when they moved. Jumping back, he took a second to catch his breath, before he tossed the cushions at his brother.
Sam laughed, clearly enjoying every second of teasing his big brother. Grinning when he recovered, he reached for his water bottle to take a sip. Instead of the coolness of the water meeting his parched throat, he was greeted to Sam stealing it from him.
"Dude, seriously?"
Sam nodded. "I was thirsty."
"Uh-huh," Dean said, entirely unconvinced.
When Sam got that look in his eyes, the look that most often spelled trouble, he could not duck out of the way in time before Sam tossed the water straight from the bottle.
Defending himself on instinct, he could not believe it when he felt his shield go around him. How many times had he practiced with nothing to show for it? How many times did he worry endlessly about not performing that one task?
Now he had.
Giving Caleb a high-five, he was quite certain he had never felt such a wide array of emotion before. It was both good and bad. For right that moment, life was as close to perfect as it could be.
Of course it would not last. Nothing ever did in their lives. The only question that would remain for all of them, would be how they would handle the next hurdle to come their way.
