Rose was back in the console room. The Doctor was bouncing around like his normal happy self, hitting controls right and left and babbling on a million miles an hour. She smiled to see it all. She was always happy to be here with him. She loved to hear him going on about some planet she'd never heard of and see how excited he was to take her there.
It was all so normal but there was some quality about it that made Rose feel something wasn't quite right. At first, she wasn't sure what made her stop and ponder what may be wrong; after all, this was where they should be. They were always meant to be here and she didn't understand the strong sense of longing she felt deep down inside of herself. She felt almost sad with how much she wanted to be here almost as if she hadn't had this in ages. It was strange to feel such feelings but when it all clicked into place and she understood the meaning behind her feelings.
This was a dream. She'd forgotten at first because the realness of the dream was so disorienting. At the start, it had been impossible for her to separate reality and fact from this fantasy. Now it was all slowly and painfully coming back to her. She found herself struggling with the truth much more than she thought she would. This dream was safe and nice. In this dream, she and the Doctor had never been separated. Here they were together as they should be, traveling in the stars. In reality, they had been separated, torn apart and kept from each other for months. Reality hurt and she was very tempted to leave it behind and live here. It would be so easy to let the truth slip away and fall into this dream. She began to wonder why it even mattered whether this was real or not. What was the real harm in staying here for a while?
But then she remembered the full truth and the importance of her being here. The Doctor was in danger; he was dying. This dream was what was slowly killing him and she was here to save him. She wasn't here to get caught up in this imaginary world; she was here to bring him out of it. And the best thing of all was that she didn't need this dream world. If she could wake the Doctor then they would have this for real. They had been separated for a time but they were together again. Right now she was really with the Doctor, asleep next him. When they woke up they would truly be together again.
She stopped suddenly and spoke up quickly. "Doctor, stop."
"Stop? Stop! We never stop!"
"I need you to wake up."
"Wake up? I'm fully awake," he said cheerfully.
"No, you're not," she said seriously. "This is just a dream. You need to listen to me right now."
"I'm listening," he said but he did not stop rushing about the room.
"Stop and listen me!" she cried. "Your life depends on it."
It was louder than she had ever spoken to him and it made its impression on him even in this dream world. He stopped his excited movements and really looked at her. His expression was grave and there was worry in his eyes like he already knew what was coming.
She walked closer and spoke quietly to him. "Doctor, this isn't real," she said coming to stand right in front of him.
He glanced away quickly but not before she noticed the look of pain on his face. He knew it wasn't real but when he looked back at her she could see that he was going to try and run from the truth. "Of course it is," he said and he reached out and took her hands. She could feel the touch of his hands and she knew that he could feel hers as well. But they both knew that alone didn't prove it was real.
His tone was less than convincing and, though he smiled, it didn't reach his eyes. She could tell that he didn't believe it one bit. It completely broke her heart because he wanted it to be real so badly that he chose to pretend it was even though he knew it was fake. That wasn't something the Doctor did. He sought facts and truth and he always made sure he was right. She hated that she had been away from him for so long. She could easily see the effect their long absence had had on him. For some reason, she had thought she wouldn't be able to see it; she'd just assumed he would conceal it well. But right now he was in a vulnerable state and it was easy to see the toll pain had taken on him. That was much harder to see than she thought it would be.
She squeezed his hands and it felt so good to have them in her own again. But she reminded herself that it still wasn't real. She needed to be firm about that so that they could reach the place where it was real again. "This isn't real," she insisted again. "This is just a dream."
"No, it's not. You're real; you're not just a dream," he said his voice nearing a desperate tone and his hands tightening around her own.
This was harder than Rose thought it would be and tears filled her eyes. The Doctor would have to believe this was a dream or he wouldn't wake up and she hadn't counted on the extra step of having to convince him. She thought once she had gotten into the dream that it would be easy to reason with him. She had expected him to know that he was trapped and jump at an opportunity for escape. Now, she could see that even though he knew it was a dream he still chose to be here instead of waking to the real world. He didn't know the danger he was in. He only knew he would rather stay here with her even if it wasn't real than return to reality where she was gone.
Now she wondered if this was all a part of the plan of the thief who was trying to steal his mind. If it was intentional then it was really a genius plan. What better way was there to keep your victims still and unmoving than to give them their perfect dream? What other way could be more effective in distracting them from the pain they were in than to lull them with images of the things they wanted most?
It made sense now why the Doctor had been kept captive for so long. She didn't know who this enemy was but she would have assumed the Doctor could have fought him off with his own telepathic abilities. While she had never had to fight someone in that way she knew that the Doctor had so he would have some experience in that area. But he hadn't realized what had been happening to him. He'd been dreaming about being with her again and he desired that so much that he hadn't questioned the dream too much. He hadn't looked at the danger behind it.
Rose hated to have to break his hearts in this way but it was the only way to free him. She pulled her hands away and spoke. "This is a dream and you know it," she said speaking firmly. "You've known it the whole time. You've wanted to believe it was real so you did. But deep down you know you're being fooled."
He looked embarrassed at her words. He knew he was being tricked; he knew he'd sacrificed himself to this fantasy. "I'm not really here," she continued. "We're separated. You need to face that and wake up."
"What's the harm?" he asked quietly, still not meeting her eyes.
She felt even the pieces of her broken heart now fracturing into bits. "The greatest harm you can imagine," she said with emphasis. But her voice softened when she spoke again. "It's alright that you wanted it to be real. I would have wanted it to be real too."
There was anguish on his face. "I miss you," he admitted pain in voice.
Rose had to swallow before she could speak, touched by the raw honesty of his words. "I miss you too. But you have to wake up; if you don't you're going to die. If you pay attention I know you can feel it. You feel the pain your mind is in? It's a terrible pain and you can't ignore it."
The Doctor closed his eyes and she could see that he was starting to feel it now that she was bringing it to his attention. "Why? What is this?"
"There's someone else in your head, tearing into your mind and stealing your memories."
She watched him and she could see that he was still deliberating. He knew she spoke the truth but he wasn't sure he wanted to believe it. He was still worried about returning to reality and it was then that she remembered that she had some very good news to tell him; she had something that she was happy to tell to him.
"I promise it will be worth it. If you wake up you'll find me next to you."
"How can that be?" he asked, looking at her but shaking his head, clearly reluctant to believe that and she knew exactly why. She had once been hesitant to believe that he was speaking to her through a dream because it would have made waking all the more difficult if it wasn't true.
"You once came to me in a dream. I'm doing that with you right now. This, right here, might not be real but this conversation is. I came back to you, found you sleeping in your bed. I tried to wake you and when you wouldn't wake I came into your dream. Is all of that so unbelievable?"
He hesitated for a moment but eventually he said "I guess not."
"Then, please," she said reaching out a hand to his cheek. "Wake up for me. Please, come back to me. You trust me right?"
He smiled for the first time at her. "Of course I do."
She smiled back. "Good. Then I will see you soon."
She stared at his smile but before he could speak another word he was gone from her sight.
Rose bolted up in the bed with a cry of pain. She wasn't sure if she had fallen out of the dream or if she'd been pulled from it. Either way, it hurt and she put a hand to her head as she gasped for breath. It was a relief to be awake and know she'd made it out. She still hadn't been sure if she would be able to go into the dream and escape from it. Going into the Doctor's mind while it had been captive might have only gotten her captured in there too but she was relieved to see that wasn't the case.
Jack and Martha rushed to the bed and hovered over her. "Are you alright?" Jack asked.
But her attention was already turned to the Doctor. She was awake and free from the dream but was he?
She looked down at him reaching out a hand to his face and waited for him to wake up. For a few terrible seconds she worried that it hadn't worked. They had all been planning on this and hoping that it would work but honestly none of them had known if it would or not. All of the other victims had died from this and they had no way of knowing whether the Doctor would or not. No one had wanted to think about it but there was a very real chance that there was no way to save someone once they had been taken in.
Words could not describe the relief that Rose felt fill her entire body as she watched the Doctor's eyes start to flutter. Soon they were blinking and opening. He groaned loudly, his forehead wrinkling in pain and his eyes squinting at they tried to open.
"Doctor!" she cried her face lighting up in happiness and tears flooding her eyes. He was awake and free from the grasp of this terrible enemy who had tried to steal him from her. He was alive and with her once again.
It took a long time for him to be able to open his eyes fully but eventually he made his way there and she saw his eyes fill with recognition at the sight of her. He reached up and took her face in his hands. "Rose?" he whispered in surprise his voice still scratchy from the sleep.
Rose laughed tears now running down her face. "Yes. It's me."
"Is that really you?" he asked urgently, awed disbelief on his face.
She put her hands over his on her face and looked deeply into his eyes, desperate to break through the disbelief and sleep that still hung on him. "Yes, Doctor, it's me. Really me. Not a dream. I made it back."
The Doctor surprised her by reaching for her. Without another word he pulled her face towards his and pressed his lips to hers. It was their first kiss or at least the first kiss where they were both aware of it. He was always so careful around her, holding himself back. But whatever it was that had held him back in the past did not restrain him now. It was forceful and passionate and she didn't hold herself back either. He pulled her closer and she let him until she was almost resting on top of him with his arms wrapped tight around her to hold her close. It was so much different than she imagined kissing him would be. It was so much better than she had even dreamed of. She had always thought he'd be shy and reserved with her and at any other time he might have been that way. But after months of separation and his close brush with death, reservation was the last thing on his mind and she couldn't be happier about that.
Rose gave into eight months of longing and loneliness, letting herself fall and melt into him. In this kiss was every lonely night and every sad moment she had spent without him. It seemed that all the yearning she'd felt in their time of separation pulled together in her stomach and grew into a fire. It had to have all built up in her at this moment because it was so strong now that she was finally with him again. She thought it would all be relieved as she kissed him. She thought his touch now would soothe all of that loneliness from the past.
But it didn't. In fact, it got even more intense. Being with him again seemed to make her even more aware of how much she'd missed him and it seemed to encourage her on all the more. She soon began to wonder if it ever could be satisfied. She'd wanted this so badly but she thought she would never have it again and it was apparent to her that he had missed her just as much as she had missed him. He clung to her, his fingers digging into her back as if he thought she'd disappear if he let her go. Her tears mingled with his where their faces touched and his movements were so frantic it almost hurt but she didn't care about pain because it was all so real.
She had dreamed of this moment and imagined their reunion in so many ways. She'd never pictured it anything like this but it was perfect. Right now, she couldn't even remember all the ways she had imagined it and she couldn't believe that any other greeting would have been better than this one. She was with him again and nothing outside of that mattered.
Her mind felt ablaze; her whole body was on fire. Her mind started to reach out at a force that exceeded anything that she had felt in their months of separation. Everything inside of her was burning for him now that he was here and she could feel him against her. His mind didn't reach out to touch hers at the moment but just having him near was enough to start satisfying the emptiness she'd felt in her own mind since they had been apart.
Everything inside of her was awakening. She felt things rising insider of her that she hadn't even known had been dormant. She was being reacquainted to things in her mind that she hadn't even realized she'd been missing until this instant. She thought she had been aware of everything even when they weren't together but it was only now that she realized how much inside of her had been numb. There was so much that had been lying dormant inside of her until this moment when they were together again.
The Doctor moaned against her face and it only made her want him more. She was content to remain in this moment where they were both lost in each other but the sound brought her out enough to remind her of the state the Doctor must be in right now. It was hard to remember everything he had just been through; it was hard to remember anything before this moment. But the Doctor had just been through a battle in his mind and she needed to make sure he was alright.
Though it wasn't what she wanted to do she managed to make herself do the thing she needed to and pulled herself back. She only put as much distance between them as she had to in order to ask if he was alright. "Doctor, are you alright?" she whispered, gasping for breath.
"Of course, I'm alright. You're here. How could I be anything but?" he said placing a hand on her cheek.
"But, physically, you know…are you alright?"
"I'm good," he said with a smile, even seeming to forget for the moment all that he had been through. He looked up at her, his eyes taking her in and studying every inch of her face fully. "Oh Rose..." he cried his voice full of affection.
She could bear the distance no longer. Now that she had done the responsible thing she was just about to pick up where they had left off. But she stopped when someone very loudly cleared their throat.
She turned and found Jack and Martha still standing next to them. Jack had been the one to interrupt them but the smile on his face said he hadn't minded the brief show. Rose felt herself blush a little at the realization that they had been watched; for a minute she had completely forgotten there was anyone besides her and the Doctor in existence let alone in that room. Though she felt a little embarrassed at the heat their friends had witnessed she didn't regret it. Part of her even wondered if she cared enough about the embarrassment to keep her from resuming their greeting where they had left off.
"Alright you two, keep things clean. Who do you think you are? Me?" Jack said asked with a smile. He said it in a jesting tone but the smile on his face said that he had nothing but happiness for his two friends. Even Martha, whose expression looked slightly pained, looked happy for them.
The Doctor seemed to have a little more embarrassment over his quick display of passion in front of their two friends than Rose did. He didn't seem as if he regretted it either but he colored a little more over it. He struggled to push himself up into a sitting position and Rose regretfully shifted next to him but did not loosen her grip on him. He seemed a little shaky as he sat up and she watched him with a careful eye. But he got himself sitting and stable and she was glad he wrapped his own arms around her, not willing to let go either.
"Jack?" he half asked half greeted. "To what do I owe this displeasure?"
Everybody seemed pleased at the Doctor's quick jab. The fact that he was already joking around was a good sign. Even Jack, who the comment was directed at, laughed. "Just saving your alien butt as usual," he said.
The Doctor smiled but Rose could see he still felt tired and confused. "I don't understand," he admitted. "What's going on?"
"Doctor," Martha said finally speaking up. "The alien that we were investigating, the thief who was stealing minds, he must have found you when you were investigating because he came after you."
The Doctor looked around, his brow furrowing in confusion. He was desperately trying to piece together events but he just couldn't recall it all. "I don't remember that," he admitted finally.
"Well, I don't think you were aware of it," Martha said. "That night I went to bed and when I got up I found that you had gone to sleep. I imagine you wouldn't have gone to sleep if you had expected anything of the sort. I didn't think anything about it either until you didn't get up. After a while, it was so late that I knew something had to be wrong. I knew you would never sleep that long and when I came to check on you, you wouldn't wake up."
The Doctor sighed. "I do remember being tired that night. I was actually really sleepy but I didn't think it was strange. Stupid," he said shaking his head in frustration at himself. "I should have been cautious. I shouldn't have allowed myself to sleep given the nature of the attacks. How long have I been out?"
"Almost two days," Martha said.
"How did that happen?" he asked in surprise. "All the other victims were dead by morning."
"We think you have your big head to thank for that one," Jack joked. "All the other victims only had decades of memories to steal but you had centuries worth. It was either that or you were just able to fight him off better."
"And how do you factor into this exactly?" the Doctor asked looking at Jack.
"He came just in time," Martha said, smiling for the first time. "I was at a loss for what to do when he showed up. He was investigating the deaths too and saw the TARDIS. Together we found a way to save you."
"That's right, Doctor. I'm your own knight in shining armor, ready to save the day," Jack said with a mischievous smile.
The Doctor groaned and rubbed his head. "You are just loving this, aren't you?"
"As a matter of fact, yes, I am," Jack admitted. "But really, the right thing to do is give credit where it's due. Martha is your real hero. She's the one who traveled to the parallel universe to go and get Rose."
The Doctor turned towards Martha. "Thank you," he said seriously and sincerely.
Martha looked a little embarrassed at the attention. "It was Jack's invention that made it possible. I just did the leg work," she said with a shrug.
"Martha is being too modest," Jack said. "She was the one who figured out that if there was anyone who could reach you it would be Rose. It was her idea to find Rose and bring her back. And she was the one who took the risk with the vortex manipulator."
"So, you've been experimenting with cheap time travel again?" the Doctor asked his tone accusing and slightly disapproving.
"I'll take that as a 'thank you' for returning you two love birds back to each other."
The Doctor looked at Rose and remembered the only thing that really was important. He turned to look at Martha and Jack again and his face was thoughtful and full of emotion. They'd save his life, returned Rose to him and it all hit him at once. "I don't know what to say…"
"You don't have to say anything," Martha said with a kind smile.
"For now," Jack added with a smile. "It won't be long and I'm sure you'll be your normal chatty self and you'll have tons to say."
The Doctor smiled and shook his head. He turned to Rose and hugged her tighter.
"I think it's time we give these two some time alone," Jack said to Martha. Everyone was surprised at his thoughtfulness before he added in his usual fashion, "Otherwise, who knows what they might start doing in front of us."
The Doctor rolled his eyes but both he and Rose were glad to finally have some privacy. Jack and Martha left and the Doctor and Rose were finally alone.
It was quiet between them and she smiled at him and scooted in even closer to him. His arms followed along and tightened around her. "You did it, Rose," he said quietly, affection and admiration in his voice. "You said you would get back to me. You said you would find a way and you did."
"Well, I'm not sure how much credit I can take for it. We have very good friends. They're really the ones who did everything."
"You know you had a part in this. You saved my life. And you never gave up on us. You never stopped believing that this would happen," he said pulling his head to hers.
"No, never," she said closing her eyes and delighting to feel his head press against hers again.
Over the past eight months there had been so many things that Rose had wanted to say to the Doctor. But now that they were alone and she finally had the chance to speak to him none of those words came back to her. He also didn't say anything but it didn't bother either one of them. Just being with each other was more than enough.
Rose settled even closer and rested her head against the Doctor's chest. She could hear the soft beating of his dual hearts, a sound so unique and one that she could only hear here with him. It was all so real and overwhelming that the next thing she knew she was crying. It became uncontrollable and soon turned into sobbing.
"I don't know why I am crying," she said in a defense. She wasn't sad; she couldn't be sad now. She was just overcome.
"I do," he whispered in understanding, his arms tightening around her.
"I'm so happy."
"I know," he said with a smile in his voice. "Me too."
She cried for a while more as he rubbed her back. The emotions that stirred in her chest were so strong she had to let them out and he was calm and quiet with her as she did. But soon his movements became slower and slower and she realized he was falling asleep. She moved her mouth and to his ear and whispered, "Are you falling asleep on me?" she asked with a smile, glad she felt she was done with her tears for now.
"Yeah, I guess I am," he said a smile in his voice but it soon faded. "I'm sorry. I want nothing more than to stay awake…I'm sorry I am just so tired."
She knew he was tired because she could feel it for herself. He had escaped the danger but it had taken its toll on him. He may have had the appearance of being asleep in the past couple of days but he hadn't actually been asleep and now he needed real rest. She knew he wanted to stay awake but his body and mind were both exhausted.
She pulled back and looked at him. "Don't worry," she reassured with a smile. "We have plenty of time now. You sleep all you want."
"You'll stay with me?" he asked.
Usually, she was the one asking him that because she was the one who needed sleep more frequently than he did. "As if you could get rid of me," she said, using the words he so often used to answer her when she asked that question.
He smiled and he pulled the covers back to let her in and she gladly moved in beside him. She was so happy to be next to him, sharing a bed with him again and she wrapped herself tightly around him, his arms coming around to hold her. He pulled the cover back over them and she felt so warm and comfortable in a way she had thought she would never again be able to feel.
She felt the waves of fatigue rolling off of him and weighing her down. She hadn't been tired before but she knew now that she would be asleep soon too. Her mind was so intent on focusing on his that it was completely taking in his drowsy state. But she didn't mind. She would stay awake for as long as she could, focusing on the feel of his comfort right next to her. But she would also fall asleep when the time came without a fight. For the first time in months she no longer feared the sleep and she drifted off with him peacefully.
