Rose didn't have to do anything except step aside and let the memories come to the surface and it all came back to her easily. The months she'd spent separated from the Doctor came rushing back to her now, quickly in flashes but thoroughly enough to be understood. All the bad she'd felt was there but also some good she hadn't expected to see there. They came randomly, not in the order they'd happened, but they were all still there.

There was the awful day when they had been pulled apart. There was her beating upon that wall and succumbing to the pain afterwards. She saw those first three days when she'd been overcome by the pain in her head and had never left her bed. There was her suffering through that Christmas party on the day the Doctor had visited her in her dreams and the joy of getting to see and speak with him. She saw herself on her first day at Torchwood, nervous and a bit sad at her situation but hopeful in what she could achieve. There were several recollections of her in bed at night feeling crushing loneliness and crying herself to sleep. There were days where she had worked relentlessly, spending every moment she physically could to find a way back to him. There were many lonely, solitude days spent at home when she couldn't be anywhere else. She had been surrounded by her family but because of her situation in comparison to theirs, she had never felt more alone.

There were a few good memories and she saw them too. She hadn't set out to miserable during her time spent in the parallel universe, it had just turned out to be the way she felt most of the time. But there were some happy times. There was her at Torchwood being recognized for her hard work and success in a few cases she'd worked on. There was her with her mum watching the ultrasound and hugging the day they had found out her mum was having a boy. There was Mickey telling her a joke and making her laugh one day when she'd needed cheering up. She saw herself laughing with Pete over the mishaps they'd had on the day he had taught her to drive.

It was strange to see it all again like this. It had been such an unusual time in her life and so painful. Watching it all again it seemed there were even more tears and heartaches than she had remembered. She had been through so much, more than she previously would have thought herself capable of enduring. But she had come through it and she had come out of it. Now, she relived these memories knowing that they weren't all in vain. She could see the sorrow now and know it would be ended. And she could look at those good memories and cherish them. She could remember those sad memories without the all pain that had previously been attached to them.

When it was all over she found the Doctor was rocking her in his arms, almost unconsciously as if to soothe the pain she had been feeling during those times and that she now felt having to recollect them. She was glad for the touch and she held on to his arms, grateful to be with him now. This was what she had so often wanted in those moments she just saw and she was glad that she had it this time.

It was a lot to see and for a while they just sat in silence. She had found herself reflecting on it all and she knew it would take a while for the Doctor to process everything. All they had seen was completely new to him and she didn't expect that he would speak right away. There was a lot of heartache in the memories she'd shown him but she felt better now that she shared them with him. They didn't seem so terrible or insurmountable now that he carried them along with her.

"What are you thinking?" she asked after several minutes had passed and he still hadn't spoken. She could find out for herself, of course, but she wanted to ask him and let him say it rather than going in to take it.

He took a deep breath, his arms tightening around her all the more. She sighed and held on to arms tighter. "It hurts to see you alone. It hurts to see you in pain."

They both knew that time was passed and they were together again. But she'd shared the memories with him and that had included the emotions of them. It would take a minute to overcome that and feel the current reality of their situation fully again.

"It did hurt, so much at times," she said closing her eyes and focusing on his arms around her to remind her that the potency of the feelings she felt were from the past and not the present. "But I'm glad I can show them to you."

"You went through a lot. You're very strong."

"Do you really think so?" she asked a waiver in her voice. It seemed that she hadn't handled their separation very well. It felt like she hadn't been strong; she'd felt so weak at times. She felt like she'd fallen to pieces without him and she hadn't known what it looked like to outsiders. Without knowing the whole story, they might have thought she was weak for handling their separation the way she had.

But the Doctor knew the whole story. He was the only one who truly knew the full extent of her loss and the burden that created. "Of course," he answered, his head tilted towards hers and whispering into her ear. "I know what it was you lost; I know how that felt. To move on from that, especially with as much strength as you did, is remarkable. You not only loved past the pain but you even worked harder because of it. "

She closed her eyes again as she felt the mist of tears in them. He did know and understand; he saw it all completely. She'd been so alone during those times she'd just shared with him but she was no longer alone in them. Because of this he was now with her in them. "Thank you," she said tears in her voice.

"Thank you for working so hard to try and get back to me," he whispered. "Thank you for holding onto our bond and keeping it alive."

"I was glad to do it…it's all I wanted."

"I know," he said with a smile. "Thank you."

"Let me take yours," she requested, tilting her face to look at his. He now had her memories of that time and she wanted his. He could help her carry her burden of the past and she wanted to help him with his.

She felt him agree though in word he was silent. She pulled out of his hold and reached for him. She reached for his head and pulled on him to rest against her laying his lead in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair and felt the memories coming up to her from him, eager to be let out. They were ready to be shared and they hardly needed such provocation to come to her.

She saw it all and felt everything. She saw that terrible day again but now from his perspective. She saw that he had also leaned against that wall and tried to see if he could hear her; he had tried to reach her. She saw him walk away in stoic silence when he found it wasn't possible. She knew that face and how much it meant even though it conveyed nothing on the outside. She felt the storm that had been brewing inside of him then, knowing he had truly lost her, as he made his way back to the TARDIS. He had barely made it back inside and gotten away from Torchwood before he had fallen apart.

She watched in tears as he had suffered through the separation of their bond. She saw it and felt it but she was powerless to do anything about it. She was so much a part of the memory now and yet she could do nothing to alter it, to go back and have truly been a part of it. She wanted to. As she watched him going through the pain of their connection severing she wanted nothing more than to be there and hold him. She had to remind herself she was holding him, that she could comfort him right now. But it was hard to remember the present when she was taking in the past like this. At the moment, he was alone, in the console room crying in pain.

She watched as he had stayed there, for days she guessed but she couldn't say for sure. He had been unable to measure time and there had been no environmental clues or people around him that had given any indication of how much time was passing by him. He had been reaching out for her, his mind searching for hers just as hers had done for him. She felt how he had needed her just as much as she had needed him. He had felt the pain too, so bad he thought he couldn't make it through. She hadn't been alone in that struggle. Even though she hadn't been able to reach him then he had been going through the same thing right along with her. She watched as he had eventually felt the emptiness and the absence of relief when that pain had subsided.

He had been alone. Not just alone in his mind but completely alone. As bad as the loneliness in the mind was at least she had not been physically alone. The former truly was the worst loneliness but it was made even worse without the consolation of others company. For most of the time they had been separated he'd been alone and that was to his detriment. He'd been cooped up in the TARDIS for months, driven near craziness in his attempt to find a way back her. He'd studied and researched for hours, alone with no one to stop him and very few physical needs to interrupt him. He had focused on it almost constantly day and night, his only company the TARDIS. She had reached out to him in concern as much as much as was possible but her attempts were mostly fruitless.

Rose saw that Christmas he had spoken of and now she was able to see why it had bothered him so much. He'd had to end an enemy who wouldn't listen to his pleas of reason and stop and in his grief he'd considered ending himself along with them. She saw the spirited woman that had stopped him but who had later broken his hearts when she'd refused his invitation to come with him. All of that he had endured on the same day he'd had to face her at Bad Wolf Bay. She wondered how he had been able to get through so much.

She could feel that he wanted to resist the memories and the pain they caused but he didn't. He allowed his memory to be opened up and examined by her. She ran her fingers through his hair encouragingly to comfort him and help them flow easily and quickly. These were hard memories and she wasn't surprised he wanted to fight against them. He didn't consider them to be among his finest moments and, though it wasn't a goal of his to hide them from her, he didn't like returning to them himself.

For a while, Rose was worried that all he had were difficult and painful memories. She worried that he didn't have anything good at all to remember from their time apart. But eventually there were some. She saw him meet Martha and for the first time since he'd lost Rose he had really laughed; at times he had actually been happy. He was excited about something again because everything was new to Martha and he always had enjoyed showing someone the universe for the very first time. Rose was glad to see him have someone to take care of him, someone to watch out for him.

For the past couple of months his time hadn't been consumed solely with the pursuit of finding her again. It might seem strange to say but she was truly glad of it. The obsession had nearly destroyed him, would have destroyed him, if it hadn't been toned down. He'd nearly driven himself to exhaustion physically, emotionally and mentally in his efforts to find her. But with Martha there, there had been other things to focus on.

She saw them meet Shakespeare. She saw them visit New New York. She watched as he'd had to face the Daleks again. It was so strange to see him on adventures without her. Ever since he'd met her there hadn't been any trips that she hadn't been a part of. There was a piece of her that longed to not have been excluded but at the same time she wasn't jealous. She was glad that he had been able to have them even if she hadn't been able to be there too. Besides, in a way, she did get to experience them. Because of the bond she did get to share them in part. She got to experience them in this way with him.

When it was over she spoke quickly, knowing exactly what it was she wanted to say to him. "Why do you feel so guilty? You know you don't need to," she whispered as she looked down at his face and stroked it gently with her hand.

He looked up at her, knowing she had seen everything in all the months he'd been separated from her. "I know," he said.

She could feel that he did know it. In his mind, at least, he did. But in his hearts some worry remained. "But you still worried I would be upset."

"It felt wrong to ask someone else to travel with me. I knew she wasn't a replacement but that was still your spot. I thought about not asking her but I…I was afraid of what would happen to me. If I was alone for much longer…I was afraid of what I would do."

She stared at him for moment, her feelings for him bringing a smile to her face. "Doctor…I'm glad you asked Martha to travel with you. I was worried about you. I didn't want you to be alone."

"I know. I knew you would. That's why I eventually decided to ask her. But I guess I was still worried you would misunderstand."

"I know how you feel about me. Remember?" she asked with a smile. "I can feel it for myself," she whispered leaning in close to his face.

He smiled now, relaxing, and she was glad to feel it. "I guess I just got forgetful being so long out of practice."

"Well," she said running both of her hands deeply down into his hair. "We'll just have to fix that now, won't we?"

He was briefly and pleasantly distracted by her attention and they both allowed themselves a moment to just enjoy the action.

"What about the other things?" he asked after a minute, that worry he'd felt before having returned.

He was worrying now about the things he has felt and thought. He was worried about the way he had handled their separation. Or rather the way he hadn't handled their separation. He hadn't endured their time apart very well. Once, he had even thought of doing the unthinkable.

"I'm glad it's over," she answered honestly. "I'm glad that you didn't do everything you were tempted to."

"I am too."

"You allowed yourself to hold on to your hearts. There was once a time when you wouldn't have. You didn't abandon them and that's good. I know you feel like you didn't handle it very well but I think you've made great progress in how you deal with your feelings. Choosing to let yourself really feel hurts sometimes and it's often messy. But you did it and you got through it."

"I wish I had known about this."

"About what?"

"About being here with you again. I would have known what all the pain was for. I would have known why I was holding on to it and not giving up."

"Did you miss me?" she asked her hand stilling in his hair. Of course, she knew the answer to that question without a doubt. But that wasn't really the question she was asking.

"So much," he replied.

"Let me feel it," she requested. "All of it."

He sat up and reached for her. He pulled her to himself, lifting her up to rest sitting in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close against him and she wrapped her arms around him, holding on tight.

He ran his hands all over her head and for a moment their minds were still. His fingers traced every part of her face and head, reacquainting himself with every inch of her head. She felt every part of her body tingling with the sensation of it, the bonding having made this part of her very sensitive to touch. Every place he touched was hyperaware to this kind of attention. This was a greeting touch but it was a very effective one and made every part of her alert and her mind asking for more.

I love you, he said

Let me feel it, she asked again.

It was true that he had tried to repress the feelings he'd had, those feelings of sadness and loneliness and the reaching of his mind for hers, while they had been apart. In the moments that he'd felt those emotions he might have tucked them away because he'd felt they were too difficult for him to feel on his own. But it was easy for Rose to see that, even though he pushed them back inside, he hadn't squandered them. He had stored all of his love and devotion for her because she felt it all now in an instant. He poured them out to her, meeting every desire she'd had in her heart for him. He hadn't forgotten her in any way or let his feelings for her grow stale. They were all still there and waiting for her.

Waiting and saving oneself for another was a beautiful thing. To find yourself the object of such actions, you couldn't help but be moved. Rose was, greatly so, so much she felt like weeping. Contrary to popular belief, the Doctor didn't have a problem making feelings. He always felt like he struggled in express them but right now, sharing them in this way, he was quite fluent. She felt the Doctor wrap his arms around her and hold her against him even closer as everything he'd save up for her washed over her from him.

He understood. Everything she'd gone through in their separation, the pain, the longing, the sadness, the loneliness, he understood it all. He knew what it had been like because he'd felt it all for himself. This was the transparency she had been missing, this true connection with each other; really and truly sharing herself with him as she couldn't do without anyone else. She wasn't forgotten or overlooked as she had felt she was so many times; he could see her now. She had missed this true openness she had with only him. She had missed having him see all of her, of not being able to hide any of herself away. She was open like a book but with him as the one who could see what was inside, she didn't mind that; she was glad she wasn't closed up from his sight.

She was nearly overwhelmed. She had known she had been starved for the mental touch but she hadn't known how much she'd needed this emotional closeness as well. Sometimes the emotional connection of their bond got overlooked in the midst of their sharing. It was always there; it was always at the root of it all. The mental touching and sharing of thoughts would be nothing without it. Neither of them took it for granted or unappreciated it. It was only that sometimes they failed to stop and value it for what it was all on its own.

Right now it was unforgettable. Right now, Rose felt it powerfully strong. She'd yearned so much to be seen, to be understood, to be noticed and appreciated since she'd lost the Doctor and now she'd found it. Not only found it, but was able to experience it in the best way possible. Emotional intimacy had always been such a powerful element of the times they shared and now it was stronger than it ever had been. The time spent apart left her with a large space within her for it and offered her new eyes to appreciate it with.

I'm nearly overwhelmed, she cried. She was going to lose momentary control over what she felt, she could sense it. Her restraint threatened to cave under the pressure of her potent feelings and she would be undone.

Let it happen, he urged back to her.

Isn't it bad? she asked. She remembered times in the past, though they had mostly been in the beginning of their time together, when being overwhelmed had led to being out of control. She didn't want to be out of control.

No, not bad at all. Not when you're with me. You've never held yourself back. You don't need to be worried; let's see what happens.

Despite her own fears that she might come undone and that her own mind might get away from her she let herself feel her own emotions without restraint. She felt them fully and completely. Her pain and sadness and desire and joy all came spilling out of her at once. The combination of them all together came rushing out and all over and it was actually a beautiful mixture. It was a dazzling display of all that had been lost and then all that had been found again. The Doctor was covered in it all and knew they were truly connected and joined in their common feelings.

Fire blazed inside of Rose. It started out as a small flicker but it soon grew, gaining speed and becoming bigger and brighter inside of her. She hadn't been sure what would happen when she gave in to everything she was feeling but now she could see that all that energy was going to this fire, fueling it inside of her. It burned bright because of that passion. She had never felt this before. The Doctor was usually the one burning but now it was her. Her light had always been soft and gentle; not enough to make flames. But right now her usual mildness just wouldn't do. Now that she was aware of it she could feel that this blaze had been building for a long time now. She felt it growing and taking on new strength and life of its own.

Rose was burning so bright and so hot. The Doctor had never felt her quite like this before. He half expected her to be in flames in his arms when he opened his eyes and glanced at her. He felt foolish, of course, for thinking such a thing but even though all the fire was contained within her he could still feel the burn of her under his fingertips.

Rose, he said impressed and surprised by the power that was building inside of her and reaching out to him.

Is it too much? she asked.

Not at all

Are you sure? she asked and if he wasn't mistaken there was a hint of pleasure she felt in asking him this. She was not accustomed to having such power and he could tell she enjoyed it. She was very strong and she knew it. He enjoyed feeling it as well. He hadn't expected this level of passion but he was glad it had arrived. He had no intention of asking her to calm it down.

Burn me alive, he said, letting his own emotions show. I don't care if you do. Burn me up until there's nothing left, just don't stop.

As you wish, she said with a smile as the flames inside of her grew even more.