"What am I even going to do, Alex? I really like Soseki and don't want him to be hurt. But I really enjoyed my date with Neil." I complained to my best friend the next day, feeling guilt spread throughout my entire body. I had gone to a romantic festival with a guy who wasn't my boyfriend and even kissed him. A small part of me doesn't regret kissing Neil, but the guilt was too much for it.
"You know, you looked pretty happy last night," she gave me a sad grin, "But I guess you don't really want to hear that, huh? I can't decide for you, but I can give you a small piece of advice. Sometimes it's better to think with your heart instead of your head. It might sound hard now, but you will feel better at the end."
"I suppose," I laid my arms on the table with a sigh, "I guess I'll have to take your advice. But I trust your judgement. I really do like Soseki. He's really sweet and kind. I feel bad about my feelings for Neil. I feel like I'm betraying him. He deserves so much better than an indecisive girl like me."
"Just let your feelings for Neil die down. It might take a while, but you can do it."
I looked up as Allen entered the house with Alison in his arms. The child wiggled when she saw me, stretching.
"Zuzu! Me want Zuzu!"
"It's not that easy of a choice," Alex glanced at her husband, "Would you have given up your feelings for me when Neil liked me?"
"Of course not. But I wasn't in a relationship then. But you do have a point, darling."
"I'll figure it out," I sighed, "Thank you guys for trying to help. I guess I'll have to solve this one on my own."
"Anytime," Alex flashed a smile, "Let me know how it goes, okay? I'm your best friend so I care about you. Don't think too hard and get yourself sick."
"Everyone in town does," the stylist cut in, giving his daughter to her mother, "I'm sure you will figure it out in time. You don't want to make a rash decision. It can bite you in the ass later. Just do what you think is right."
There really were a lot of people in Echo Village. The festival grounds felt a bit crowded as we all surrounded the giant cooking pot in the center. I glanced over to see Alex and Allen nudge to the right of me. I glanced over as soon as Neil did, our eyes meeting quickly. I looked away, feeling my face warm up despite the chill of the winter night. I decided to stand next to Soseki just to be safe. My boyfriend had been aloud to go to the festival. I don't want to know how much he had to beg Klaus.
"It's been a pretty good year," he yawned lazily, "But I wonder what good memories that we will make this year."
"Who knows?" I faked a smile, feeling my heart sink a little. The Starry Night Festival still flowed in my thoughts, making me feel terrible. But I didn't want him to worry. It's not his fault and I don't want to burden him.
"Is something wrong Zuki? You sound a bit sad."
"I'm not sad. I'm just reflecting on this year is all. Since it is ending."
"Alright," Soseki held my hand, ignoring the other villagers. I could see the irritated look in Neil's eyes. He turned away, getting Rod into a conversation. I flinched as I felt the anger coming off of him from where I was standing. Maybe it was the heat of the noddles that was causing me to feel so warm.
"Well, everyone, it's finally time," Dunhill's excited voice took my attention away from my problems, "Time to countdown into the new year. Last year was good, but this next one will be better. We seem to be getting more people each and every new year!"
"Five, four, three-"
I kept my eyes on Neil, noticing that he wouldn't look me in the eyes. I sighed softly.
"One! Happy New year!"
"Happy new year," I muttered, feeling my stomach sink in worry. The year just started, but I had a strong feeling that it would be even more dramatic than last year. I felt the guilt crawl down my back. I ignored it and went to go tell everyone happy new year.
After the celebration finally ended, I decided to head on home after helping Soseki to his. I felt bad about not letting him kiss me before I left. I would rather sort out my feelings tonight. Since it is a new year and all. That was going to be my new year's resolution. Get Neil out of my mind and give Soseki my full affection. I felt my heart squeeze a bit, but ignored it. It would be for the best. I'm already with Soseki. I'm sure that Neil would get over me. I hoped that he did anyways.
I flinched as a small ache started forming near the top of my forehead. I put a hand on my head, feeling a light pound against my fingers. I shook my head a little and rubbed my temples. Maybe some sleep will make the pain go away. It wasn't too big. Nothing was wrong with me. Nothing at all.
