AN: Thanks so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites! You guys are truly wonderful. To answer some of the questions in the reviews Tucker is an OC and I do plan on writing the rest of Harry's years, although it might take a bit of time. This is just the first installment in what will likely be an 8 book series.
Chapter 14- The Run Away
Harry wasn't even the slightest bit disoriented when he woke the next day; tired but not so tired that it dulled the flood of emotion choking him. The last thing he remembered was losing control of his power and everything going black. He was clearly back at his house so Mr. Snape must not have realized what he had done yet.
What he had done- Harry squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears to disappear. Willing for it all to disappear, to be some type of awful nightmare. When his eyes opened again it showed the same room, in the same world where he, Harry Potter was a murderer. He had killed his only blood relatives left who had taken him in out of charity. He had killed the first dozen wizards he had ever laid eyes on, left their crumpled bodies lying on the floor. And now he had killed Tuck, who had just been trying to help, who had been kind and braveā¦
And no matter how Harry looked at it he came to one conclusion- that he was a monster. The Dursleys were right; he was a freak, even a freak among wizards and was a danger to everyone around him. All he brought, and all he could ever bring, was pain and darkness to those around him.
Which left Harry with one choice- he had to leave. Mr. Snape may not realize it yet, but every day he cared for Harry he put himself in danger. Harry was not going to kill Mr. Snape, and he couldn't stop the devil inside, so he had to leave.
The very thought made it feel like someone was ripping Harry's heart into shreds, so he pushed it away focusing only on what he had to do. He made a make-shift knapsack out of Severus's sheets, having imagined this all too many times when life at the Dursleys got especially rough.
Tears ran silently down his face as he gathered his supplies- the potions Mr. Snape had spent all night slaving away to make for him, the food that Mr. Snape had bought just so he could grow strong, the clothes that Mr. Snape had bought just for him- everything a painful reminder of what he was leaving behind, what he had to leave behind.
Finally it was time to go. But Harry couldn't leave without saying goodbye. He dug through drawers quietly until he found a quill and sheet of parchment. Mr. Snape had been teaching him to write after dinner, an opportunity he'd never had before because the Dursleys had kept him out of school because freaks did not belong with the general public.
With a trembling hand Harry slowly carved out the words, splotches of ink smearing the page where the tears dripped freely from his face. The note was small, but it would have to do. Harry straightened up, steadying himself with a deep breath. Only a month ago he would have reveled in the idea of leaving, of being able to take care of himself and only himself but that was before Mr. Snape.
Harry tiptoed right past Severus, who was passed out on his new bed in the living room; having stayed up all night to make sure Harry didn't have any nightmares and finally giving into sleep only an hour before. Harry found he couldn't even look at him as he opened the front door and stepped out into a new life.
When Severus awoke a few hours later he knew instinctively something was wrong. There was just a feeling in his gut, a feeling he had learned to trust after years of being an auror. He prayed his gut was wrong with this one but as soon as he entered his (now Harry's) room his worst fears were confirmed. The bed was empty, Harry was gone.
For a second Severus just froze, staring at the bed in shock as his heart sunk. This could not be happening. He shook himself and searched the house briefly, stopping when he reached the kitchen and saw the small slip of parchment lying on the table.
Severus felt like he was walking through mud as he approached the letter, every part of him screaming for him not to read it. He picked it up.
Dear Mr. Snape,
By the time you are reading this I will be gone. Do not look for me. I am too dangerous. Thank you for everything you did. I'm so sorry.
It was left unsigned. The tear stains had dried and left the parchment speckled in the black ink. Severus let the letter drop from his hands, barely making it to the chair before his knees caved in. He faintly recognized what was happening- he had been wracked by panic attacks as a child. The thought didn't register in his empty mind as his breathing grew speedy and shallow, his vision blurring as oxygen flow plummeted.
Just before his vision went dark an image of the green-eyed boy flashed across his mind, jolting him back to consciousness. Severus leapt up, ignoring the vertigo caused by the sudden movement. His breathing was far from regular, but he didn't care. He would not have a panic attack now, not when Harry needed him. His thoughts were clear despite the lack of oxygen- first he needed help. And he knew exactly where to go.
Harry had spent the morning walking. Spring had just started to take hold of the world and the earth around him was coming alive. Flowers poked out of the soil, their shoots reaching desperately towards the sun which slowly warmed up the chilly morning. Birds chirped in the trees. All around him, the joy of life was showing yet Harry saw none of it.
He trudged on, not stopping when his legs went numb, not stopping when his stomach burned with hunger, not stopping as the afternoon sun scorched his revealed neck. When he finally found he could go no further, Harry ducked into tree cover bordering the road. It was a small forest; Harry explored the length of it in a matter of minutes. A small river trickled through the center and trees towered high above him. It would do until he figured out where he was going.
Harry collapsed into a broad oak, sinking into the soft moss. Despite his hunger he felt sick and could only manage to nibble on a piece of bread. Harry felt exhausted; his tears had run out long ago and now he was just left with an empty, sinking feeling in his stomach. Harry closed his eyes, remembering the newspaper he had discovered a few weeks earlier.
Harry didn't think he had been meant to see it; he had woken up late to go to the bathroom and had stopped in the kitchen for a glass of water. There he had found the newspaper, lying in a heap on the table. Harry had seen the pictures move on Severus's news before- apparently a condition unique to wizards photos- and he was curious to see them move again.
He picked up the newspaper and flipped it open to the front page. Immediately he dropped it in surprise. The paper drifted to the floor, landing face up. Harry saw himself on the paper, chained to the table as he had been at the Ministry. He was covered in blood and his eyes held a near feral look as he looked at the camera.
Harry had taught himself to read bits and pieces from Dudley's discarded picture books. He picked up the paper with shaking hands, his brain struggling to process the title. "Harry Potter Kills Three Muggles and Five Aurors in a Vicious Attack that Astounds the Ministry." Harry sank heavily into the wooden kitchen chair, his eyes locked on the crazed animal before him. The Ministry had chained him to the chair for a reason. Harry forced himself to read on, not understanding every word but getting the big picture. The ending was very clear- if you have any information on Harry Potter you must report to the Ministry immediately. The aurors were looking for him, and they weren't going to stop until they found him.
It was a long time before Harry had broken out of his thoughts and returned to bed that night. He had dreamed about a prison cell and ever since had dreaded the fate that surely awaited him. Mr. Snape would never turn him in, but Mr. Snape wouldn't be able to stop the entire Ministry.
By the end of the flashback Harry knew exactly what he must do. He formed the picture of the interrogation room in his mind; focusing on the feeling he had felt when he had apparated for the first time to Severus's cabin. He prepared himself for the pain and then, taking a deep breath, he pushed his magic out in a huge wave. Harry disappeared with a loud crack.
Severus reached Harry's last destination only minutes after Harry had left. Tucker led the way, using his magic to pick up Harry's trail. Minerva and Dumbledore trailed behind, equal looks of fear and dread on their faces. Severus had gone numb, focusing his entire being on finding the boy. As long as he kept moving he could ignore the tearing pain inside of him, as long as he kept moving he could keep sane.
Tucker paced the area, pushing his magic farther and farther. Harry had been here, that was certain- there was more traces of magic here than anywhere else- but the question was where he had gone. It was as if he had just disappeared from this very spot. Tuck peered down at the tree, seeing the small indentation in the moss at the last place Harry had been. Tucked into the roots was a small nap sack made of familiar dark green sheets. He felt the magic spike suddenly there and realized what happened with a stab of dread.
Severus missed nothing and asked him sharply, "What's going on? What did you find?"
Tucker turned sympathetic eyes onto Harry's guardian, "He's gone. He dissaparated, I can't track the trail because he just used his magic to do it, he didn't cast anything." Tucker shook his head, waving his wand violently over the area and muttering things. "It's useless."
Severus couldn't handle it any more. He let out a roar, turning to a nearby tree and letting out a stream of magic with his wand. The others just watched the broken man as he destroyed the tree, slashing and shouting spells until it was reduced into piles of burning splinters scattered across the mossy earth. When there was nothing left to destroy, Severus lowered his wand, panting.
"The only thing we can do now is return home and wait for Harry to return," Minerva said softly, ready for another outburst. To her surprise Severus just nodded dully and apparated back.
The four of them sat in agony in Severus's living room as they awaited news. All attempts at conversation had been given up, so now they just sat in silence, alone with their thoughts. Minerva kept glancing worriedly at Severus, who had completely shut down, but didn't think there was anything she could do.
In an hour their wait was over when a sharp knock announced a presence at their door. Minerva had never seen Severus move so fast as he leaped up and rushed to the entrance. He flung the door open to find Kingsley Shacklebolt standing outside.
