Ch. 9: Thank You

A/N: This chapter is different...this is what i think should of happened the night 'Some Kind of Miracle Aired.' Sorry it took so long to get up...my beta is becoming slow! ENJOY!

Everyone stood at the foot of Meredith's bed, watching that fatally disturbing green line run across the screen. No one wanted to say it, in fear that they would be cursing something. Something that doctors never speak about. Something that when brought up, they turn a deaf ear to it, and continue looking through the patient's chart. Something, that they all fear. Something that when they see it, it makes them think…what if it happens to them? The something that they knew was going to happen.

"We…We're loosing her." Spoke the Chief in a hushed tone. No one wanted to say it. They wanted to forget about it but the fact of the matter was they couldn't. They all knew that their worst fear was coming true. They all knew that they were loosing one of them.

---

"No…I'm not dead. This is a dream…I'm just sleeping in the nice warm hospital bed that they put me in after Derek rescued me. I'm not dead."

Meredith sat on the gurney looking back and forth between Dylan and Denny. They didn't want to break it to her. They both knew Meredith was…unstable to say the least. If one of them said that she was not living any more then who knows what she might do. She might go on a blink rampage and kill…no not kill…but unpossiblyhurt them all. Dylan looked at Denny who in turn looked back at him. Sighing annoyingly, Dylan stepped forward.

"Oh no, I know that look. That look is the same look you gave me in the OR when you told me that the oxygen line was underneath my feet. I know that look and that look is telling me that I am dead. But I know I'm not dead because if I were dead I wouldn't be in this blasted hospital. I'd be…in heaven. This isn't heaven. As far as I'm concerned it's hell. Hell where my mother grew up and hell when she told me I was 'ordinary'. This isn't heaven, and I'm going to heaven. There is no way I'm going to hell and there is no way you guys are in hell so don't even dare tell me I'm dead because…I'm not. Denny, please tell this…ass that I'm not dead!"

Denny didn't want to look her in the eyes. She had just finished rambling, and if he looked her in the eyes that would mean….

"Holy Shit. Holy shit holy shit!"

Dylan looked at Denny like he was about to hit him.

"Why didn't you answer her?" he hissed. Denny couldn't look at him or her or anyone. He just couldn't. Telling Meredith that she will never get to see Derek, Christina, Bailey, her mother, the Chief, Joe, George, Callie, and Izzy ever again. He just couldn't do it. All he could do was keep on leaning against the sink and listen to Meredith say 'holy shit' over and over and over and over and over….

---

Derek didn't know what to do. His love, his life, his…DREAM was in there…dead. Of course he didn't know that she was dead, but he knew it. As a doctor, he had the feeling of death over coming him. He didn't want to believe it, but it was true. His life was over and it was all his fault.

"Derek, you may want to hit me right now and tell me to go to hell or anything else but you need to listen to me. If not me, then Addison or Bailey or anyone else, but stop listening to yourself. I know what you're thinking because I've known you that long. I know that you think that Meredith is dead. That she is no longer here and that you can't be with her everyday for the rest of your lives but that's not true. No one in this hospital is dead. No one has crossed over or gone towards he light or whatever. Meredith Grey is still in there, alive. I don't care that her heart has stopped and I don't care that she's as white as those blankets. Hell I don't even know her and I believe that she is alive. You may hate me and Addison and all the other interns or whatever but you know that I am right. Derek you need to believe that she will pull through this. You need to believe that no matter what, she will marry you because she loves you. "

Derek sat there, a tear running down his face. He knew Mark was right. He hated to admit it but Mark Sloan was right. Derek looked over to him, and gave him a weak smile.

"I believe." He whispered. Mark nodded and squeezed his arm.

"Meredith would want you to believe."

Derek looked up through the window to see Izzy standing there, watching Derek. He didn't know how hard this was on her. He hadn't gone through this tough of a year as a first year surgical intern. He didn't' know how they felt, feeling that they were loosing her yet again. Hell he didn't even know half the stuff about Meredith that they knew. Derek looked away ashamed. He loved Meredith, but they…they were her family. They went through everything together. From Katie Bryce to Heather. From the train wreck to the bomb. Derek was just the guy who loved her that was married but them…they were her family and he needed them just as much as they needed her.

---

"Meredith if you could just stop saying 'Holy Shit' for one second, maybe we could…maybe explain this."

Meredith didn't hear a word Denny said. She just sat there, muttering 'Holy shit' for the millionth time. Finally Dylan couldn't take it anymore. He reached out and slapped her across the face. She looked at him, like a deer in headlights.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" bellowed Denny. Dylan turned to look at him, fuming with anger.

"What did I do that for? What the hell did I just slap her for? You want to sit here for the rest of your freakin after life listening to that? BECAUSE I SURE DON'T!" Dylan tore his eyes away from Denny and focused in on Meredith.

"You drowned. You let yourself drown in that bay. Sure you fought, but then you gave up. You want to be here. You don't belong there, you…"

Dylan didn't get to finish his sentence on the account of Meredith punching him in the jaw.

"YOU THINK I WANT TO BE HERE? I WANT TO BE BACK THERE WITH DEREK AND CHRISTINA! SHE TRIED TO TELL ME SOMETHING THIS MORNING, BUT COULDN'T. I'M HER FREAKIN PERSON AND YOU HAVE GUTS TO STAND THERE AND TELL ME I'M DEAD??!!! YOU TRY FIGHTING IN THAT DAMN WATER! YOU TRY STANDING THERE, TREDING THE WATER, WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME AND SAVE YOU! BUT NO, YOU BLEW UP! AND YOU DIED FROM COMPLICATIONS OF A HEART. NEITHER OF YOU STOOD THERE, WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME AND SAVE YOU AND END UP HAVING NO ONE EVEN KNOW YOUR GONE!"

Meredith by this time was hyperventilating with tears streaming down her cheek.

"I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE! I WANT TO BE WITH MY KNIGHTIN SHINNING ARMOR! THERE ARMOR. IT'S NOT WHATEVER, IT'S KNIGHT IN SHINNING ARMOR! I WANT TO GET MARRIED TO DEREK AND HAVE CHRISTINA MY MAID OF HONOR! I WANT TO GROW UP, BE A HEAD NUERO AND MAYBE EVEN BE CHIEF OR IF ALL ELSE FAILS, BE AN ATTENDING WITH DERK AS CHIEF. BUT NOW I CAN'T BECAUSE BOTH OF YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME I'M DEAD! I WANT TO GO BACK, I WANT TO LIVE AGAIN, BUT NO I CAN'T!"

Dylan and Denny stood there watching her, struggle to breathe.

"Well…then go." Spoke Denny. Meredith looked at him like he was the cure for Cancer.

"Go back? Your telling me just to go back? IF-"

"GOD DAMMIT MEREDITH SHUT THE HELL UP FOR A MINUTE AND LISTEN TO THE GUY!" shouted Dylan, holding his jaw. Meredith glared at him, as Denny continued.

"We all have that feeling of ' Who cares' We all wonder if anyone would notice if I died. But you, you realized, that you have a life back there worth living. You realized that you love Derek and you want to be with him, and never leave him. You realized what love and life is really about."

---

All the attendings stood there, watching the line run across the screen.

"What's her temp?" whispered Bailey.

"92." Answered Burke softly.

The Chief and Bailey looked at the screen and saw that Burke was right.

"All right, push another epee." Ordered the Chief. Doing so, everyone waited for change in the heartbeat.

"Still nothing." Sighed Bailey turning away. Suddenly, the door was wrenched open as Christina stormed into the room, stopping at the sight of Meredith.

"Christina." Said Bailey, wondering either to kick her out or let her stay. Burke walked over, and closed the door behind her.

"Dr. Yang, she's…there's been no change." Said the Chief, trying to break the silence. Christina made no motion to acknowledge any of their presnce. All she did was stand at the foot of the bed, looking at Meredith's pale face, listening to the monitor and her flat-line sound.

"Try again." She muttered. Everyone looked at her.

"Wh-What?"

"Try again!" she said again, this time louder and withmore force but no one did anything.

"Dr. Yang…Christina…we-we've tried everything we could do." Said the Chief, trying to reason with Christina. She didn't hear a word he just said, and pushed her way over to the drawer with all the medicine in it. Burke tried to pull her away, but she just fought back.

"Christina." He hissed forcefully. Christina didn't listen and continued to fight.

"Christina, she's…gone. There's nothing you can do. It's time to say good-bye."

"NO!" shouted Christina. She continued to fight and wouldn't believe it. "NO! SHE'S NOT…"

Finally she stopped resisting and looked at Meredith.

"She's my person and I never got to tell her that we're engaged. I never got to tell her that….no matter how much she gets on my nerves and makes me sick that I will always be there for her. We understand each other with the mother things and we understand relationship problems. I just wanted to tell her this one thing and now…and now I can't because she's…gone." She whispered. Everyone just stood there, watching Christina have one of her last moments.

---

Meredith sat on the bed of the Trauma room staring at Dylan and Denny.

"So, I've figured out the 'meaning of life' or whatever. What-What does this mean to me?"

Dylan and Denny exchanged looks.

"It means, that you might get to go back, if there's time." Spoke Denny. Meredith just stared at him.

"Ok that's it. I've been sitting here listening to you two speak in riddles and rhymes and frankly I'm tired of it. I want to go back and be with everyone. I want to spend the rest of my REAL life with them. I WANT YOU TO STOP SPEAKING IN RIDDLES!"

Dylan stepped forward.

"We were told you only have a certain amount of time to figure this out then…you won't be able to go back."

Meredith shook her head.

"No, no no…You see I have to go back. If you don't let me go back then…"

Denny looked at Meredith

"Meredith…." He said, looking at her symphatetcially.

Meredith looked up at him, meeting his eyes.

"Wh-What do I have to do?" she whispered. Denny looked away.

"I-I don't know."
Meredith sighed and looked away, tears running down her face. Suddenly, there was a bright light at the end of the hallway that caught her eye. Dylan looked at it then her.

"Go. Run." He said looking at her. Meredith looked at him for a second and slid off the bed. She walked past them and towards the light.

"Are-are you sure?" she breathed. The two men nodded. Meredith sighed.

"Thank you." She said, hugging them both.

Theynodded and pushed her towards the light. She looked at them, then back towards the light and started to walk towards it again.

"Oh and Meredith!" yelled Denny, right before she crossed over. She turned back and looked at Denny.

"What?" she asked half annoyed.

"Tell Izzy that…I love her."

Dylan rolled his eyes.

"GO!" he yelled.

Meredith nodded and crossed over, hopefully for good.

---

Derek looked up at the door. Still, nothing. No one would tell him what was going on, and to tell the truth he was about to go in and demand what was going on. Suddenly, the doors between the ER and the hospital burst open revealing Izzy, George, and Alex. Derek looked up at them, a total mess.

"Nothing. They won't tell me anything." He said, turning back to the door. Suddenly, it opened and Derek blinked a couple times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Luckily, not only him, but Izzy, George, and Mark all did double takes as the 4 doctors came out of the room with sullen faces. Derek climbed quickly to his feet and headed towards the Chief. Seeing Derek come towards him, the Chief stopped and tried to put together the right words. He could feel Bailey, Addison and Burke behind him, their hearts beating as fast as his. No one wanted to tell him that no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't save her. No one wanted to tell him that one of their favorite interns was gone. No one wanted to tell him, that the love of his life wouldn't be able to sleep next to him anymore. No one wanted to tell him that Meredith Grey was dead. Seeing their faces, Derek turned away. He wanted to run. He wanted to run into Ellis' room and yell at her. He wanted to punch the crap out of her for telling her daughter that she was ordinary. He wanted to do something other than stand there and have the tears run down his face, as he took in that his love was dead. He could feel the squeeze of Mark's hand on his shoulder. He could feel Izzy breakdown and use George as a support. But what he couldn't feel was Meredith, standing next to him, in his heart, and being there with him. All the doctors just stood there, trying to take in the latest death. Finally George broke the silence.

"Wh-Where's Ch-Christina?" he choked. Everyone looked up and looked around them. They just now realized that Christina wasn't among them.

"She's probably saying goodbye." Whispered Burke. Derek looked up into the Trauma room, but what he saw surprised him. His eyes getting wide, he pushed his way, past the doctors, not caring that he shoved a few and that they gave him dirty looks. All he wanted to do was get inside the Trauma room. Taking a step inside the cramped room, his eyes shot immediately towards Meredith. But what he saw wasn't the Meredith that was pale and blue and was hardly breathing. This was the Meredith with her color back. This was the Meredith who had the tube taken out of her throat and had a steady heartbeat. This was the Meredith he knew and loved. He saw Christina watch him, as he made his way over to her. Looking down upon her, he smiled. Her eyes were barley open, but he knew that she could see him. He bent down and kissed the top of her forehead, brushing loose hairs away from her face. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"She hasn't really spoken. She just said 'ouch' a few seconds ago." Said a tear-filled Christina. Derek nodded, but didn't care. His Meredith was awake. He bent down and kissed her again.

"I love you. I will always love you. You are my world and my life. If you died, I would have died too. I love you Meredith Grey." He whispered. She looked up at him through those half-open eyes, trying to say 'I love you too' but he knew what she was saying just by the look in her eyes. Suddenly, everyone entered the room, with a lost for words. Derek looked at them and smiled and moved out of the way so they could all coo over her.

----

Later that night, Derek made his way towards Meredith's room. On his way, he met Addison, who was standing at the nurse's station.

"Hey." He greeted softly. She smiled at him and turned back towards Meredith. He joined her, leaning up against the desk, watching Christina and Izzy interact with Meredith.

"Addie, I'm sorry." He finally said after a few minutes. Addison tore her eyes away from Derek and looked at him.

"What do you mean Derek?"

Derek sighed and looked at her straight into the eyes.

"Addie, I loved you. Those 11 years were great, they really were, but…I…"

Addison nodded

"You never loved me like you love Meredith."

Derek couldn't look at her. Instead he looked at his shoes and nodded.

Addison sighed.

"I know. When I saw you outside that Trauma room a mess, I knew. Derek we loved each other. Those 11 years weren't a waste of our time. We tried and it didn't work out. Now you can be happy with Meredith and maybe even get married to her. But, I will never stop loving you Derek."

Derek nodded.

"I will always have a place in my heart for you too Addison."

They shared a quick hug, just as Christina stepped out of the room.

"Should I go back in there and tell her that your breaking up with her McDreamy?" asked Christina, wiping away a few tears.

"Christina!" hissed Izzy, hitting her.

"What?" she asked trying to defend herself.

Derek didn't pay any attention to the two interns as he quickly broke away from Addison and ran into the room, leaving the three girls in a fit of glitterlaughter. Seeing Derek rush into the room like that, made Meredith laugh as well. Hearing her laugh for the first time in a while made Derek melt. He slowed down his gait and he kissed her passionately.

"I told you I was your knight in shining whatever." He whispered.

"Armor. It's knight in shining armor." She replied, giggling. Derek kissed her again.

"Whatever it is, I'm always going to be there for you."

Meredith nodded.

"And I'm glad for that."

Derek smiled and sat down in the chair. Meredith watched him and sighed.

"Derek-"

She started, but he put his finger to her lips.

"Shhhhh you need your rest."
He carefully climbed up on her bed and wrapped her in his arms and she fit into his figure. The two of them laid there for a moment enjoying the warmth of each other.

"Yes." She finally said after a while. Derek lifted his head from the pillow and looked at her.

"Yes what?"

Meredith sighed and turned towards him.

"Yes Derek Shepherd I will marry you."

Derek's face lit up and kissed her deeply.

"Being 'gone' made me realize what life is really about. I realized that if I had died, that moments of each other weren't enough. Derek I want to be with you every moment of my life. I want to have children, grow old, and finally die together. Derek, I want to be your wife."

Derek smiled and kissed her too.

"And Meredith I want to be your husband."

The two of them laid there smiling at each other. Looking over to the doorway, Meredith thought she saw Denny and Dylan leaning against the doorframe winking, before walking away.

"See told ya she learned." Hissed Denny.

"Shut up cowboy." Replied Dylan before disappearing. Smiling, Meredith shook her head, and leaned back onto Derek's chest.

"Thank you for not dying Meredith." He whispered into her hair.

"Thank you for being my knight in shining whatever Derek."

The two of them, laid there, thinking about their long and full life ahead of them, knowing it was going to be the best 70 years of their life.

A/N: I know some of this sounded like the show...but o well. Umm...this was the last chapter. Sorry I didn't give you any notice but...i don't have time to write anymore...and w/ the lack of reviews..i feel like this is a waste of my time also. So...this is it. Actually...there will be an epilouge which is forming in my mind right now. This started out as a BANG thing...but sorry it turned into MERDER...that was unintentional. O and also..i made up 'unpossibly' b/c can u hurt some1 if they're dead? So yes...look forward to an epilouge!

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