What is the point? This time away from her is time that I won't get back. If I learned something from the Hunger Games is that life could end at any moment. Every second that I spend without telling her is a second I waste.
"I have to tell her" I have to and I will. At the Naming ceremony; I'll tell her I know everything, that I was awake and heard the whole thing. "She'll get mad, but she'll get over it because she loves me" or at least that's what I tell myself.
I try to pay attention to what is being said at the meeting, but right now I couldn't care less about what's happening in District 12. It sounds bad, but it's the truth. The one thing that matters to me this very moment is Katniss; us.
There's a lot of talking and at one point my name is mentioned. I look up and nod, just to hear Mr. Treefit and the rest of the board thanking me for agreeing to donate pastries and bread for the celebration after the Naming Ceremony. I smile and I ask myself when and how that did that happen.
Everyone got together after the meeting to discuss even more stuff about the Naming Ceremony. It seemed rude on my part to leave, so I stayed. I got home pretty late and was ready for bed. I change and go to bed, and even though my body is beat my mind is restless. Not only do I have breakfast tomorrow with Katniss, but now I managed to get myself into baking pastries and bread for who knows for how many people… Out of nowhere I get the most amazing idea. I'll ask Katniss for help baking. It's the perfect opportunity to spend time together while being too distracted and occupied to be nervous. "Brilliant" I say out loud and close my eyes.
I wake up at dawn to bake the bread for our breakfast. I'm not even nervous about the idea of spending the day with Katniss, I'm excited and can hardly wait. I put the dough in the oven and go upstairs for a quick shower. I get the impression that it's earlier than I thought, so I take my time and enjoy the warmth of the water, a luxury we didn't use to have. I try to keep my mind blank and not think about the next few hours in an effort not to get my hopes too high, I don't want to have any expectations.
I get dressed and go downstairs. The bread is ready. I take it out of the oven and put it on the counter so it cools down a bit. I notice my heart beating faster. It's almost time and I'm getting nervous. I try to shake it away. "No expectations" I tell myself as I stuff the hot bread in a basket and leave.
I walk over to Katniss's house, concentrating on my breathing and trying to keep my cool. I stand in front of the door, take a deep breath and knock. "No expectations" I remind myself one last time.
A smile takes over my face as soon as I see the door opening and I forget everything else. She looks as beautiful as ever. My whole body acknowledges her presence and I feel the urge to hug her and kiss her, but I keep calm. We stand there, I keep smiling while Katniss looks focused and collected, and but neither says anything.
"Can I come in?" I ask Katniss, taking her out of her trance.
"Um, of course. Come in." She says, moving away from the door.
I go in and get closer to her. It feels as if her lips had a magnet and I couldn't resist the attraction. My lips are so close to hers that it would be a sin not to seize the moment and kiss her, but I move to the side and kiss her on the cheek. I feel she was expecting me to kiss her, like really kiss her and that makes me smile.
I move to the kitchen and see breakfast is ready, so I start working on slicing the bread.
She asks about the meeting and I tell her the truth, I barely paid attention. I look at her knowing already what her reaction will be. "I was thinking about the sunset."
"You didn't listen to anything?" Katniss asks and starts eating, completely ignoring what I just said, of course.
I smile remembering the mess I got myself into…both of us actually. I tell her about the part I actually listened to and how I'm going to need help.
"Of course I'll help you. I'd be more than happy to." Katniss says and warmth spreads all over my chest. Not because she's helping, I knew she would, but because we'll be spending time together. Time that could be almost normal. "But honestly, why wait for tomorrow?"
"That's settled then. But that's tomorrow. What do you want to do today?" I ask a little more cheerfully than I intended to. Katniss keeps eating, apparently this is her new way of coping with our relationship and I try not to laugh.
"I don't know." She says, her mouth full. "What do you have in mind?"
I think quick. This whole baking thing is too close, so I actually need to start getting ready, but after that… "Think! Think! Think!"
"I need to go to the Hob and buy supplies for tomorrow "except you don't have to go right now!" I scream to myself "but we can do that later." "Think! Think! Think!" And I got it.
"I thought we could go to the lake." I say smiling because I can't contain myself. So many images go through my head.
Katniss chokes and I search for a glass and give her some water. This was not the reaction I was expecting, but I'll take it. "Maybe you should stop eating when I'm around." I say because why not? I can't stop smiling. "So what do you say, the lake?"
"Sure, why not?" she says shrugging and I can't resist. "I need to ask you first" I say and grab her hand. "It's so warm."
"Do you think you can handle two days with me without choking to death?" This smile is never leaving my face.
"Let's go to the lake." She says squeezing my hand. "Maybe I can choke you to death there." I can't help but to laugh.
"I'll take that." I tell myself. "I'll take anything."
