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A faint knocking at his bedroom door awoke Killian from his slumber, it was still dark outside and a quick glance at the clock on his bedside table told him it was 1am! He slowly sat up, rubbing his hand over his face to try and wake himself up. Another quiet knock came from his door. "Bloody Hell! What's this all about?' he thought to himself. With a sleepy groan he got out of bed, pulled on some sweatpants (he preferred to sleep nude) and walked over to his bedroom door. He wasn't prepared for what, or rather who, stood on the other side.
"Swan?" Her name escaped his lips as a reverent whisper, his eyes slowly moved from her hair, piled high in an up-do, to her eyes, deep, dark, and looking up at him through her long thick eyelashes. His gaze continued down, lingering for a moment on her plump red lips, opened ever so slightly, his tongue brushed his bottom lip as he continued on his path taking in the smooth flawless skin of her neck, that one vein pulsing under the intensity of his stare, down past her collarbone to her cleavage, proudly on show thanks to her tightly fitted dress that clung to her slim figure in all the right places, as his eyes carrying on their downward perusal of her revealed to him. He swallowed hard as he gradually lifted his eyes back to hers, then raised his eyebrow, flashing her a flirtatious smile.
"Hey" she smiled shyly, "sorry to bother you, I was wondering if you could help me, I can't get the zipper on this dress" she blushed slightly and chewed her bottom lip nervously.
His tongue ran along his again, God he wanted to be the one biting her lip!
"Sure, come in" was about all he could manage.
She entered, closing the door behind her, and then slowly turning to face it. She gathered her hair to one side getting it out of the way, showing her bare neck. Killian stared at it, fighting the urge to lick, bite, and kiss his way down it, her breathing was shallow, and he could sense her pulse racing. He took his time unzipping her dress revealing her porcelain skin; counting each freckle until he reached the small of her back and kept his hand hovering there. The tension building up between them was intense, it was the sweetest torture as he stood there unsure if he should step back or give into what his body was telling him, no, screaming at him to do.
"Killian" she whispered pleadingly.
That was all the encouragement he needed! He placed his hand on her smooth skin and she inhaled sharply, he slid his hand round to her hip and stepped closer so he was right up against her, fingers biting into her skin as he tightened his grip, he leaned down to kiss her neck breathing her in, the smell of bacon filling his nostrils...wait, bacon?
Killian's eyes flew open and he sat up in bed. "Bloody hell!" He looked down; he wasn't the only one awake! 'Shit!' He rubbed his eyes, and then fell back with a thud onto his mattress! He couldn't remember the last time he woke up aroused but this definitely was not an ideal way to start the day and it was definitely not ideal to be having sex dreams involving his son's nanny! He covered his face with his hands and groaned, "Get your shit together Jones!"
Trying to push the images of Emma out of his mind he jumped out of bed, walked into his en suite and ran the shower, turning the dial to cold! Once he finally calmed down and made it downstairs he stopped in the kitchen doorway watching the scene before him, Kathryn was giggling in her high chair while Liam played peek-a-boo with her, Henry was already sitting at the table working his way through his latest book, and Emma was humming while she cooked bacon and eggs. She was wearing thin pyjama pants and a vest with her hair piled up on her head in a messy bun, his lips raised in a one sided smile as he watched her slowly move her hips side to side dancing, it was almost enough to send him racing back to bed so he could fall asleep and finish his dream. "Great" he thought to himself "I'm an actor with a crush on my nanny, my life has been reduced to a fucking cliché".
He took a deep breath and walked in,
"Something smells good!"
"Dad!" Liam ran up and gave his father a hug.
"Hey son, you on babysitting duty this morning?"
"Dad I can make her laugh, watch!"
Killian watched as Liam started making funny faces while Kathryn burst into a huge belly laugh.
He laughed too then walked over to where Emma was cooking, affectionately scruffing up Henry's hair as he passed him.
"Well this all looks good" he said, meaning more than the food! He grabbed a piece of bacon and shoved it in his mouth.
"Hey! You can wait like everyone else!" She scolded.
Killian flashed a mischievous smile, then shrugged and said "pirate" as means of explanation.
Emma's eyes narrowed, "I'm not taking my eyes off you captain"
He leaned in; just centimetres from her face, "I'd despair if you did"
He chuckled as Emma rolled her eyes. But the heat rising to her cheeks didn't go unnoticed by him. He smiled, feeling a little smug that he could cause her to react that way. Emma went on plating up breakfast seemingly unaffected by the flirting and when Killian returned to Liam and Kathryn, joining in with trying to make the baby laugh, he found himself continually looking back and stealing glances at Emma, who appeared to be unaware of the attention she was attracting.
"Right boys! Breakfast is ready! Come to the table". Emma called out then added "Before Killian eats it all!"
After breakfast he entertained the kids while Emma got ready. It was going to be a warm day so she opted for lace shorts, a thin cotton vest, and a denim shirt, she pulled her hair to the side and braided it, she threw on her converse and grabbed Kathryn's changing bag.
When she appeared downstairs Killian was holding Kathryn who was nestled in cooing while he whispered
"it's ok princess, mama will be back soon" he kissed her on the head and Emma's heart melted. "
It doesn't look like she wants mama so much now" she said
Killian looked up, "she was fussing a little so I picked her up, I think she just wanted a cuddle"
"I think she has you wrapped around her little finger!" Emma teased.
"Aye, maybe" he agreed "shall we go?"
"I'll round the boys up!" Emma agreed.
The ride to set was beautiful, Emma spent most of it leaning out the window taking pictures of the scenery. Killian spent most of it trying to focus on the road and not Emma's perfectly toned legs, just mere inches from his hand resting on the gear stick. That stupid dream had a lot to answer for! The car turned off into the forest and drove a mile or so down a dirt road, as they pulled up Emma was suddenly aware of the ball of nerves forming in her stomach, she was used to Killian but she was going to be spending time with the actors from her favourite show and she didn't want to embarrass herself or him! "Just be cool, Swan!" she mentally warned herself.
They unloaded the kids and made their way to the trailers, a group of the cast and crew were sitting around a table drinking coffee and chatting, they looked up when they heard footsteps coming their way.
"Killian!" Ruby called out everyone looked up, there was a chorus of "hey man" and "hi", and a few high fives.
Killian cleared his throat, "guys, this is my friend Emma" he patted her on the back and she waved shyly to the group.
"She's gonna spend the day here with Liam and her kids", he picked up Emma's son, "this is Henry and Kathryn is sleeping in the pram." Everyone was warm and welcoming to Emma, she had brought a soccer ball for the boys who went straight into kicking it about on the grass nearby.
Ruby signalled for Emma to sit by her, which both delighted and terrified Emma, she walked over and joined the actress and as they started talking
Robin patted his friend on the back, "so this is the girl?" He grinned at his friend raising his eyebrows up and down, "and you 'haven't noticed' if she's hot or not?" He added skeptically.
Killian groaned, "we'll talk about it after filming, I promise, right now I have to go to makeup!"
"You can't get rid of me that easily! We have a scene together don't forget! I'll hold you to that promise!" Robin shouted after his friend who was jogging away.
"So you live in Belfast?" Ruby asked
"Yeah, I'm American but I've been in Belfast for 10 years" Emma answered
"I've always wanted to go to Ireland" Ruby confessed. "What made you move there?"
Emma decided honestly was the best policy so sighed and replied, "Love...I met my husband at college in NY, he was from there, we fell in love and I went back with him" Emma smiled remembering those days.
"So you both live in Vancouver now?" Ruby asked
Emma looked down at her hands in her lap, her wedding and engagement ring sparkling in the sunlight, it was an honest question; she twirled her rings round her finger.
"My husband died almost a year ago." She confessed, wincing slightly, it was always awkward to bring up in conversation, it often made whoever she was talking to feel uncomfortable which in turn would make her feel awkward.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know..." Ruby said apologetically
"It's ok" Emma reassured her.
They chatted for a few more minutes before Ruby excused herself to go get ready for her upcoming scene. Emma turned and saw a bunch of the other children had joined Henry and Liam on their makeshift soccer field. Kathryn started shifting around in her pram so Emma lifted her out and carried her over to the game.
She divided the kids up into two equal teams and put her thumb and forefinger in her mouth to whistle, signalling the start of the match. She coached both teams from the side-lines, shouting out encouragements and cheering enthusiastically every time someone scored.
After about 30 minutes Emma shouted "Time out guys, let's all get some lunch and then we can do some games!"
The kids all ran towards the catering truck.
Killian and Robin walked side by side back to their trailers, after 3 hours of shooting they were done for the day. It'd been a physically taxing day despite how short it was, they had been working on a fight scene and both actors had been allowed to do their own stunts. Killian was exhausted and all he wanted to do was have a cold beer and spend some quality time with Emma and the kids. His mind wandered to their domestic set up, it felt so natural having them join his little family filling his house with laughter and life. He couldn't remember the last time he saw Liam so happy and honestly, he couldn't remember the last time he felt this happy and at peace. Just then his thoughts were interrupted by Robin not so subtly clearing his throat, a tell-tale sign the interrogation was about to begin!
"So...Emma?" Robin began
Killian let out a sigh. "She is officially my nanny"
"She lives in your house?"
"Yep" Killian replied, trying to sound as casual as possible.
"And...How's that working out for ya?" Robin asked.
Killian ran his fingers through his hair then dropped his arms in exasperation.
"It was fine...great actually, it was just nice to come home to an adult, a friend that I could hang out with, laugh with, and talk to about Milah. But then last night I had a dream about her and I can't stop thinking..."
Robins eyebrows shot up "You have feelings for her?!"
Killian shrugged, "I don't know...I mean I care about her, I think of her as my friend and...You said it yourself; she's easy on the eyes..."
"Mate, she's a stone cold fox!"
Killian laughed, "Don't let Regina hear you say that!" He grew serious again, "She's the last person I see at night and often the first person I see in the morning...I try to make a point of not thinking about it, about how comforting it is to have her there, or about how I look forward to coming home and seeing her there, but now she's appearing in my dreams, I've no control over that!"
"And does she feel the same way? Is she flirting with you?" His friend asked.
"No nothing like that, I mean we joke around and have a bit of banter but she's never crossed the line, she's a bloody good nanny, Liam loves her, you should have seen her résumé, I'm lucky to have her! Our home feels like a family home again, home cooked meals, kids laughing and playing, movie nights...you know..." Killian's face grew sad "Milah and I were trying to get pregnant...when..."
Robin stopped walking and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. Tears were threatening to leave Killian's eyes.
"Mate, you never told me! I'm so sorry. Was she...?"
Killian cleared his throat, "no, I asked the coroner, she wasn't, thank God!"
Robin looked thoughtfully at his friend. "Killian...I'm going to try and put this delicately...it's been over a year since Milah was taken from us, I know you loved her...but she would want you to move on, to find happiness again! It's only natural that you would be attracted to a beautiful woman, you have...you know...needs, you're going to have urges and you'll drive yourself crazy if you keep trying to suppress them. Have you thought about dating?"
Killian rolled his eyes, "I'm not going to make Emma my rebound!"
"I'm not talking about Emma! If you want to keep her as a nanny she is completely off limits! I mean going out, letting your hair down, having some fun...nothing serious"
Killian shook his head, "that's not me, mate."
"Well you're going to have to do something other than playing happy families in your mind with Emma!"
As much as Killian didn't want to admit it he knew Robin was right.
They made it out the woods and saw all the kids running races, Emma had them all lined up, shouting instructions to them while Kathryn was snugly wrapped in a sling around her mother. There were a crowd of cast and crew members cheering at the sides.
"Wow, you weren't kidding, she is good!" Robin admitted.
Killian smiled, "aye, she is" he said proudly.
He made his way to his trailer, quickly getting washed and changed and headed back out to the others. The games had ended and everyone was in little groups chatting, Liam, Henry, and Roland were sword fighting with sticks, Ruby was playing with Kathryn. He scanned the place looking for Emma, when he saw her his eyes narrowed and jaw tightened, "what the hell!" He said under his breath as he marched over to her with his fists clenched.
Emma had been riding a motorbike belonging to August Booth, one of the crew, she was driving and he was sitting behind her holding her close to him. Killian spotted them just as they were pulling up, when they stopped, while leaning in to talk to her August's hand had slid from her hip down to the top of her leg. Emma was laughing at whatever he was saying and Killian saw red.
"Killian!" Ruby shouted over to him, but he ignored her and kept walking, he could feel his blood slowly boiling.
"Killian!" She called again, this time he heard Kathryn's cries which stopped him in his tracts, and he spun around and saw Ruby run up to him with Kathryn, "she won't settle, I think she wants her mom, are you going to Emma? Could you take her?" Kathryn held her little chubby arms out to Killian, his face grew soft as he reached out and held her against his chest, he kissed her head and she instantly stopped crying.
"Wow, you have the magic touch!" Ruby exclaimed.
"She seems to like me" he admitted
"Good judge of character" Ruby smiled, "so what's got you all worked up?" She asked.
Killian looked over to Emma who was now getting off the bike and reaching up to take her helmet off, August's hands still sitting comfortably on her legs.
"Nothing! I've got to go" he replied then continued walking to Emma, as he approached he overheard August,
"…if you're free this weekend I'd love to take you out on some of the trails here, talk about views!" He flashed a charming smile.
Emma blushed, "that sounds nice but..." She turned when she heard footsteps "oh there you are!"
"This weekend's no good!" Killian said coldly staring at August.
Emma was surprised by his tone, she could feel the tension instantly but couldn't understand it, had they done something wrong?
"Well then just let me know when you're free" August ignored Killian and took Emma's hand, bringing it to his lips kissing it, his eyes never leaving hers, "but until then, it was a pleasure to meet you Emma"
"Lovely to meet you too" she smiled politely and he walked over to his bike hopped on and road away.
Killian was about to explode. Emma turned to look at him, "Is everything ok?" She asked hesitantly, sensing his anger.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He hissed.
Emma was shocked and starting to feel her own anger rise, reached out and took Kathryn from him.
"Making friends! Isn't that why you brought me here?"
"I brought you here to look after my son, not so you could go make out with some guy on his motorbike!"
"EXCUSE ME?!" Now he had gone too far! "I was NOT making out with anyone! Liam was with Robin, you're best friend! I didn't think you'd mind! We rode around the clearing; Liam was within my sight the whole time."
Killian was still angry, "That guy is with a different girl every weekend Emma, is that what you want, to be another notch on his bedpost?!"
Emma's eyes narrowed, "You are way out of line!" She spat out the words. "Are you angry because a guy flirted with me or because you think I'm not doing my job? Which is it Killian? Because I sure as hell don't remember it saying anywhere in my contract that you get to choose who I date! If you're unhappy with my work then I'll hand in my notice tomorrow."
They stood there, locked in eye contact, he knew he was being ridiculous but right now he didn't care, he couldn't answer her question because he refused to admit what was really going on, some other guy was making moves on Emma and he was seething with jealousy. He wanted to be the one holding her tight, the one making her laugh, or making her heart race on a motorbike ride. The fact August bloody Booth was doing it instead drove him near insane! "It's time to go home Emma, get the kids together." With that he walked away from her.
The car ride home was awkwardly silent. Emma stared out the window, not a word was said between them.
Killian put Liam to bed while Emma put her own children down, she went straight to her room after and fell back flat on her bed, still reeling from their fight, "what the hell was that all about?" She thought to herself. She went through to her en suit and turned the water on, after a quick shower she changed into her pyjamas, she was towel drying her hair when she heard a knock at the door, and she rolled her eyes, what now? She opened the door revealing Killian standing there, eyes dark, hair dishevelled and altogether looking wrecked.
"Come have a drink with me Swan"
"No thanks, I'm going to bed"
He closed his eyes then opened them again, "don't let a man drink alone"
"I'm not in the mood for a drink...or a man" she started to close the door, he gently pushed against it opening it a crack, his voice was suddenly soft and vulnerable,
"Emma, please, let me explain, let me say sorry!"
She sighed, "ok" she grabbed a hoodie and carried it downstairs, Killian led her outside when he had made a fire, a bottle of wine and 2 glasses were sitting beside it, he opened the bottle and began to pour, handing her a glass he nervously began,
"I've been a complete ass" he admitted.
Emma looked at him, she remained silent.
He sighed, "I don't know what got into me, I was tired and hungry and honestly...I was looking forward to seeing you and the kids and hanging out with everyone, then I saw you with him...touching you..."
Emma looked at the ground, if she was honest she hadn't felt completely comfortable with the way August touched her but she just thought he was being friendly, Killian ran his fingers through his hair, "I just went into over protective mode I guess, I feel somewhat responsible for you and I know he's a player. But I should have trusted you to be able to look after yourself; I had an emotional day and I took it out on you...I'm so sorry Emma"
Emma sat there trying to process what Killian said. She was starting to understand but she was still angry, he questioned her ability to do her job and that hurt her.
"You invited me to set as your friend, then you criticised my childcare..."
"I shouldn't have done that, it was never about your ability to look after Liam, you've been the best nanny I could hope for. You're right, I had meant for it to be a day off for you." He interrupted.
Emma was still confused; she furrowed her brow, "so this was about me and August?" She asked.
Killian sighed, he couldn't tell her how he felt about her, and he didn't want to make things more awkward between them or scare her away. He looked up at her looking back at him, the light from the fire danced on her face, illuminating it, she was radiant! His breath caught in his throat the urge to reach out and touch her was immense; it took every ounce of self-control not to pull her into his arms.
Emma didn't understand why the thought of her and August bothered him so much but she didn't want there to be tension between them, she put her stubbornness aside and put him out of his misery, breaking the silence. She cleared her throat,
"Well if it makes you feel better, I was just trying to make some friends, dating August was never an option for me..."
Killian's eyes darted back to hers, relief flooded over him, she wasn't interested in August...could Killian dare to hope...
His thoughts were interrupted as Emma continued,
"...I actually wanted to ask you if I could finish work and go home this weekend? I know its 2 weeks earlier than you leave for Ireland..." And as soon as Killian raised his hopes they collapsed around him, he felt like he had been punched in the gut.
"You...you want to leave? Emma I'm so sorry about tonight, I sometimes act rashly, I didn't mean to..."
Emma reached over and gently laid her hand on his arm, the contact of her soft warm skin against his sent shock wave through his body, she gave his arm a reassuring squeeze, her touch was intoxicating, he craved more.
"It's nothing to do with what happened tonight" her voice was soft and calm; she could tell he was emotional so tried to be as comforting as she could.
"Next week..." She continued, "...is the anniversary of Neal's death, I wanted to take the kids to his grave, and be with his family..."
He understood, there was no way he was going to deprive her of this. He put his free hand over the one she had on his arm, "of course Emma"
She rested her head on his shoulder, an action she'd never done before but it seemed like the natural thing to do, she needed to reassure him that she wasn't angry or punishing him for his outburst today. The small physical connection was the only way she could think to do that, at least that's what she told herself, "thank you" she whispered. It'd been a long day and they were both physically and emotionally exhausted, they stayed in that position watching the fire for a few more minutes before Emma lifted her head, Killian released her hand and she stood up.
"I'm going to head up to bed, are you gonna be ok?"
Killian smiled, she was so nurturing always concerned for those around her. "I'll be fine, I'm going to go to bed soon too" he replied.
Emma started walking towards the house then stopped and turned, "Killian..."
He looked up at her "yeah swan?"
"You have no reason to be jealous of people I make friends with here, you're my friend, I care about you..." She hesitated then added, "...deeply, you can't get rid of me that easily!"
He smiled "I'll hold you to that! And Emma...I care about you...deeply...too, I hope you know that".
"I do. Goodnight Killian"
"Goodnight love"
