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I've Been Here the Whole Time

Chapter 4

Kuroko could barely pay attention to his classes the next day. He usually found school fairly interesting as humans had a significantly different perspective compared to what he knew of the world. But he could not concentrate very easily as his thoughts were consumed by his upcoming trial game with the first string team. The extremely competitive nature of Teiko's basketball club meant that there was no room for error here in order to earn a lasting spot on the first string. If he didn't perform well enough for the promotion, Kuroko would be in trouble. His sense of fair play meant he would not manipulate the coach if he couldn't do it on his own merits. He was relatively at peace with that because it wouldn't absolutely eliminate his ability to interact with the prodigies, it would, however, make it significantly more difficult. He'd also entrusted an important task to Nigou for that day and while he had every confidence his eager assistant would follow through, it was still nagging at the back of his mind.

Finally, mercifully, the last bell rang and he hurriedly gathered his belongings together. As he crossed the campus toward the gym, he caught a faint remnant of vaguely familiar spirit energy, but looking around he could not see the source. He hesitated briefly, however he didn't really have time to track it right now. Putting the issue aside, he continued onward and after changing into his uniform, he gathered with the other players.

He had to stay calm, but it was almost intoxicating being so close to the vibrant energy the four prodigies possessed. It was with some dismay he heard that he would be starting after Haizaki called Akashi to say he was sick – Kuroko hadn't anticipated needing additional time to calm down, but it had been so long since he had been in such close proximity to this much talent and certainly he couldn't remember doing so without the barrier of his own powers as a buffer.

Still, despite a wobbly start that had the coach and Nijimura both looking askance at him, he managed to settle down. His passes went through, but he wasn't as consistent as he would like. He could tell Akashi was watching him and trying to figure out what was wrong. Unfortunately this was not really within the young vice captain's ability to fix. It helped tremendously when he detected Nigou's delighted energy nearby – the spirit had apparently been successful, which meant, yes, there it was. Nigou sent him an echo of proud accomplishment, the shadow dog would get better at telepathic communication as he grew stronger, but this was more than enough for now.

The door to the gymnasium opened and Kuroko sensed Kise's entrance, he was looking for the dog that had playfully taken his phone and run into this building. He stooped to pick the device up when he saw it on the floor, and then his attention was caught by the game in front of him. It was a particularly excellent moment to observe as Aomine pulled off a seemingly impossible dodge to land an amazingly tricky shot. Kise's eyes shone with a curious interest – this was a sport he had not tried before, and Aomine's skill was not only fascinating to watch, it left him with a sincere competitive thrill. Kise genuinely did not know if he could best Aomine, but he thought it might be well worth a try.

Kuroko almost sighed with relief at seeing Kise's riveted expression. But it proved costly as he tripped over his own feet from the moment of distraction and fell face first onto the court. When he straightened back up and saw the aghast expressions of his teammates, he had a feeling this was not going to go over smoothly. He proved correct as he was immediately benched and found himself on the receiving end of a coldly disapproving lecture from the coach about wasting the opportunity he had been given.

After quietly apologizing and honestly admitting to nerves, Kuroko promised to do better or happily accept demotion. The coach eyed him skeptically, but despite himself he was a little impressed by the composure Kuroko was now showing. He had a formidable temper and even his seasoned athletes had difficulty answering him in these situations. He would allow one more chance. They had enough of a lead anyway, but it would still allow him to see if there was anything worthwhile in this player.

When Kuroko came back to the court, Akashi met him and offered him advice, "You need to keep your emotions hidden, Kuroko-kun. Your will to fight is good, but your misdirection won't be effective if you can't mask it." Kuroko nodded in acknowledgement, this was nothing he didn't already know, but Akashi's attempt to help was encouraging.

It was a totally different second half. Kuroko's nerves had settled, he was reassured that they had at least gotten Kise's attention, he was more prepared to be around the Kiseki no Sedai, and he found a rhythm for his passes that startled even his teammates. He could see the looks of incredulity on Midorima's and Murasakibara's faces; Aomine was excited and pleased by the increased energy of the game, and Akashi approved of this new talent at their disposal. Kuroko would have considered it a complete success, if he hadn't felt another vestige of the strange shadowy energy in the gymnasium. Kuroko tensed and tried to unobtrusively look around, but whoever or whatever was there had a much stronger shield than Kuroko could see through in his current state. Unless the spirit became actively malicious Kuroko had no choice but to ignore it for the moment, however he didn't have to be happy about it.

When the game was over, he found himself receiving a congratulatory fist bump from Aomine, and Midorima nodded at him in grudging acknowledgment of his unique style. Murasakibara ruffled his hair, which annoyed him somewhat but he put up with it for now. Akashi had a satisfied smile in place, he'd known Kuroko had potential and it was gratifying to see it realized; he was envisioning an even stronger year for Teiko.

He looked for Kise and saw the blond lounging negligently against the wall as he glanced around the gymnasium. To Kuroko's trained eye, he was obviously picturing himself on the team and tossing it around in his head to consider if he wanted to commit himself to it. From Nigou's report, Kuroko knew that Kise's major problem at this stage was that everything came too easily to him and he would be bored without someone of equal or greater talent to keep him in check. It was a dangerous balance they would have to maintain because to tempt Kise into playing basketball would require the others to escalate their talents more drastically than they might do ordinarily, which as Kuroko had seen, meant all five of them would outpace their peers too quickly. The problem, as Kuroko saw it, was not so much that they shouldn't use their talents, but they needed to understand that what made these gifts so special was that they could be even stronger when they were used in combination with the skills of an entire team.

Aomine suggested a celebratory ice cream and the others agreed. Kuroko smiled at the purity of Aomine's joy and he was reassured that he was doing the right thing with this plan. Seeing this unspoiled elation and vitality in response to an aggressive, but sincerely played game - it was certainly worth preserving. After they'd cleaned up and changed clothes, the four prodigies, Kuroko, Nijimura, and Momoi gathered outside a nearby convenience store with their frozen treats. Muraskibara had wisely pointed out that it was more economical if they bought a box and so they had taken this advice.

As he sat on a step slightly apart from the group, Kuroko observed Momoi for a moment. She was dangerous. He saw she had the potential for athletics herself, it was clear that she had Aomine's respect in that regard. As she chatted with all of them, and particularly Akashi, he heard in her voice the passion for intelligence-gathering that spoke of her status as one of Omoikane's chosen. The god of intelligence and wisdom had a strong hold on her and while it was obvious that her choice to manage the team was born of her affection for Aomine, she had developed an independent appreciation for drawing up strategies and dossiers of players' strengths and weaknesses. He would have to be careful around her. Thankfully she had not really taken notice of him so far, his low presence was in this case a blessing.

Kuroko's human side was enjoying this camaraderie. The shadow spirit was fascinated by these humans' relationships to one another, but he had a certain detachment from them that was the natural result of his many millennia of existing. He did care about them; this whole convoluted enterprise he'd undertaken was proof enough of that. However, as much as he would like to feel otherwise, he had not completely recovered from his last experience of trying to so personally and fully help a human. Kuroko trusted that they had enough sincere love of the game to be redeemable; but he didn't know how far he could let his fondness for them grow – he was already more attached to Ogiwara than he'd anticipated becoming, and he could see himself making the same mistake with them as well. His human consciousness had no such reservations and particularly as a young male, these powerfully admirable figures were creating a strong impression. He would have to rein this in and stay focused, there was too much on the line for all of them for him to get sloppy.

However, for the moment, he had other fish to fry. After everyone departed, Kuroko returned to the gymnasium and waited patiently. Before too long had passed, the expected tell-tale shimmer that indicted a visible manifestation of someone from his world could be seen. He was truly shocked however, when he saw who it was.

"Greetings, Kuroko-sama. It seems you didn't completely screen out your powers then, if you can sense me? I watched your game, were you supposed to fall down like that?" The form was Haizaki's, but there was a faint glow in the eyes that betrayed it wasn't him, or at least, not only him. Now that he had fully manifested, Kuroko knew who this figure was, and he couldn't be less pleased to see him.

"Messenger, what have you done?" Kuroko's voice was quiet but inwardly he was not only furious, he was afraid.

The kitsune's sly personality shone through with the faux-innocent smile he sported on the grey-haired teen's face. "Nothing permanent, not to worry, I'm only borrowing him. He has a talent quite like that blond you are so anxious about but his personality is much more suited to me, don't you think? I thought I could make this ever so much more entertaining, while of course being dedicated to my task of keeping an eye on you for Lord Susanoo, this way."

"I believe that my master has already declined to release my contract. Why is Lord Susanoo still interested?"

"Well that is the question, isn't it, Kuroko-sama? Susanoo's whims are his own, but remember, you are one of only a handful of shadows to survive a forcibly cancelled contract. Hachiman meant for you to die after that human betrayed you and the fact that you didn't has been something of a mystery. I would imagine Susanoo has been waiting for a chance to reclaim you for that alone. He is both a creator of, and barrier for, destruction after all. But you have been stubborn with your insistence on staying with your current master and it has proved quite intriguing to several of the others. "

"I am fully aware that Hachiman was displeased with me for that debacle, Messenger. I left Susanoo's service on good terms but it was at his behest; he is the one that sent me to Hachiman. I owe nothing to either of them apart from my respect as a shadow to any of the kami that rule our land. I don't know what you are hoping for with this game, Messenger, but it is not my intent to let you derail my own plans."

The other spirit laughed but it was closer to a mocking cackle than anything truly like humor. "Don't be so rash, Kuroko-sama. You don't even know what he wants from you yet and you're already bristling against an unknown offer. You shouldn't be so suspicious of your former master; maybe he merely wants to have a tea party after such a long absence from one another. Lord Susanoo has extended an invitation for you to meet with him when you next return to the shadow realm. Whether you accept or decline is of course entirely your decision, but either way I will occasionally pop in. You would be amazed by what's inside this one's head, Kuroko-sama, he makes such an excellent host for one such as me, and it would be rude to not make use of such a fine vessel." With a parting laugh that echoed through the empty gymnasium, the kitsune vanished.

Kuroko's hands clenched into tight fists and he wanted to scream with his frustration but he managed to contain it through a ferocious battle of will. He had a fairly good idea of what Susanoo wanted from him, but he'd be damned if he returned to the state he'd been in while serving the storm god all those centuries ago. He'd been a wild thing, using his powers to wreck chaos and destruction at Susanoo's direction. He'd only begun to change when the islands that would become Japan had come to be the home of the curious creatures known as humans. Susanoo had sensed his slight hesitation to harm the mortals as a shadow of storm-filled chaos and had sent him to Hachiman – and while Kuroko knew it had been intended as a kindness, it had become a prison. It was sometimes difficult for Kuroko to distinguish which was less brutal- humans or nature- but he'd done his duty without complaint and had risen through Hachiman's ranks just as he had with Susanoo's before him. Eventually, though, he had miscalculated, and Hachiman had no use or mercy for him after that.

Kuroko's fierce loyalty to Sedai Myojin was a complicated thing. After he'd been cast out by Hachiman without first having a new contract in place, he should have died, as the Messenger had pointed out. His continued existence had made him something of a pariah among the kami for a long time until he'd finally regained enough of his strength and found a place with the protector of athletes. In all honesty it was a good fit for him because of his history. There was strategy and battle, a rhythmic connection to nature in the training and development of bodies and minds, and an elemental drive for victory that bound so much of life itself. Kuroko loved it – he'd grown strong again but he'd been more content than he could remember. He'd been free, and for that there was no turning away from his master no matter that theirs was not the most respected domain.

This was in part why he so worried over those like the Kiseki no Sedai. He saw himself, his true self, in them. He would be lying if he completely denied missing the riotous and unrestrained use of his powers– he understood the prodigies' inclinations, the seductive lure of feeling so powerful and exercising these talents while being secure in the knowledge nobody was stronger. However, having felt the loss, the isolation, the utterly painful consequences of not knowing how to work with others for something more constructive, he was continually on guard against these moments that would tempt those down a path he knew had no happy ending. He couldn't make the choice for them, but he could try with everything he had to keep them away from that destiny.

He'd tied his fate to theirs deliberately; he knew the risks better than most. It might only be basketball, they might only be mortal children, but it was merely the latest incarnation of the battle they'd all been fighting since before they could remember with an ever-changing roster of players. And in the depths of his heart, Kuroko had never forgotten what it was like to be a warrior – his battles were different now, but they were no less meaningful.

Nigou found him like that, staring blankly into the air. His soft bark of inquiry needed no translation, he was worried about Kuroko. The phantom looked down at him and met his eyes calmly.

"We might have a problem, Nigou. Do you think you can manage a trip back to the shadow realm so soon?"

The puppy nodded his head and waited patiently as Kuroko gave him a message to deliver. After a moment of concentration, his form began slowly dissolving and Kuroko was proud to see he did it on his first try – he definitely had a lot of potential.

Kuroko went back to their home to wait. He still had to complete his homework – a dreadful invention if there ever was one – and attend to the various obligations his mortal body needed. For now, he had to be happy that things were moving forward. There were new complications with the advent of the Messenger's claim over Haizaki's body and this looming threat from Susanoo, but Kuroko had the protection of his contract and Susanoo couldn't force him to return. Breathing out heavily as he attempted to settle his thoughts, Kuroko tried to concentrate on planning the next phase for ensuring Kise joined the group. Now that they'd agreed to share his talent with Kishijoten, her influence would be mediated by his fundamental athleticism and it should be easier to coax his inherently competitive nature toward the team. He'd have a little time while they took each other's measure, but Kuroko knew that soon the five of them playing together would begin the original cycle of events he was trying to disrupt. So he would have to hope his efforts would be enough, it was both an intensely exciting and frightening prospect really. For tomorrow at least, he knew what he would do. Until Nigou could return with more information, that would have to be enough.