I'm so sorry this has taken so long to update! It's a shorter chapter this week and a little angsty but

I figured they would have some relationship issues they'd need to sort out early doors.

I guess it's their first fight.

Let me know what you think, I feed off of reviews! Thanks for reading along!


- 6 weeks later -

Killian and Liam were flying up to Belfast for the night, it was the first time he was staying with Emma and the kids since they stared seeing each other, until now she had been the one to go stay with him, inviting him and Liam to stay at her home with her family was a big step for her.

She'd been nervous during the week leading up to their visit, Mary Margaret had tried to reassure her countless times but she just didn't understand, how could she?

She was pouring herself a cup of coffee when the front door opened. David walked in annoyingly cheery for 8:30am!

"Good morning!" he walked over to his sister-in-law and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Don't worry I'll knock first when Killian is here!" he gave her a wink.

Emma's mouth dropped open and her cheeks matched the colour of her red jacket.

"Hey, hey...I'm kidding, Emma, are you ok?" he reached out to touch her arm.

"I...I'm just really nervous."

"But you and Killian have been seeing each other for a while, you've stayed with him twice, why are you nervous?"

"It's the first time he will be staying here, in my home...it just makes it all seem...real!"

"And let me guess...if it's real then it might be taken away?" he asked sympathetically.

"Exactly"she sighed. "What if it's all in my head."

He stood in front of her and put a hand on each shoulder so she was looking right at him.

"Emma I'm only going to say this once so listen carefully; Killian adores you, anyone could see the way he looks at you and know that! You deserve this, you deserve to be happy! Sometimes wonderful things just happen and we need to accept them, enjoy them, and be grateful for them. Don't worry away your time together, we know better than most people how short and precious life is, Neal would want you to be happy, he'd want to know that you and the kids were loved and taken care of. Killian is a good guy, you can trust him with your heart!"

"Wow Dave, I don't know what to say..."

He smiled, "Don't say anything, just take your coffee and go pick up your man, I've got everything here under control, I'll get the kids ready and meet you guys at the zoo!"


Emma took David's advice to heart and focused on having a great day with David, Killian and their children. The kids were so excited to all be back together again! Once they finally got them to bed after a full day at the zoo and the movies; Killian and Emma made their way downstairs to the kitchen. Emma pulled a bottle of wine out of the cupboard and opened it while Killian got 2 glasses; she poured then sat up on her kitchen counter top. Killian walked up and stood in front of her, an arm on either side, his thumb gently stroking her thigh. The mix of the wine and his touch was intoxicating. Since their first night in Dublin they'd only shared one other night together a few weeks ago when Emma visited him again. He'd flown up to Belfast a couple times but only for a day trip to see her and the kids. They still hadn't told their children about them, it seemed early, but tonight Killian would stay! The long distance had already been taking its toll on their new relationship. Seeds of doubt had been forming in Emma's mind, growing into ugly weeds that twisted themselves around any happy memories they had together, choking them. She found herself questioning their relationship almost every day he wasn't there to hold her hand, kiss her head or whisper sweet things that drove the fears away. It was hard for her to have confidence in a relationship that was so new, a relationship that the world was watching and probably betting would fail. She had followed Killian's advice and stopped looking them up online but it didn't matter, she could guess what was written about them, and she'd seen how ugly the media could be. The fact was she didn't need to tabloids or blogs to torture her, her own mind did it on its own. It was classic Emma, anything that felt too good to be true she assumed was. Killian could sometimes hear it in her voice when we called her, the hesitancy. And there was no hiding it when he was with her and could see in plain as day in those beautiful sad eyes; he tried his hardest to reassure her, to show her how much he adored her but those walls were still there.

"Emma?" Killian asked hesitantly.

"Mmmhmmm" she looked up from her glass.
His thumb stopped for a moment.

"Come back to Vancouver with me."

Her body stiffened. "Killian, I'm not going to work for you and be in a relationship with you, we're past me being your nanny."

"I don't want you to be my nanny," he replied. "I want you to move in with me..." He eyed her face looking for a reaction.

Emma set her glass down and thought for a moment. "What would I do for work?" She asked.

"Well...you wouldn't...have to work..."

He tried to tread lightly; he knew she wouldn't warm to that idea easily.

"So...I would just live off your charity while repaying you with sex and free childcare? What would I get; an allowance each month?! I'm not that kind of girl Killian!"

He felt his anger rise, "For fuck sake Emma! That's not what this is and you know that!"

"I know you're not that kind of girl! Believe me, I know! But this is what couples do Emma! I was going to suggest you rent your house again and use that as your income, but if you think you're just 'sex and free childcare' to me then forget it!" He picked up his coat and walked out the front door.

Emma's heart sank, she shouldn't have said what she did; she just wasn't expecting him to ask her to move in. She knew the long distance relationship wasn't ideal for him either. She didn't want to be accused of being a gold digger or free loader, but that wasn't what was really holding her back, she was afraid...and now she had hurt Killian which was the last thing she wanted to do. She drank the rest of her glass and waited for him to come home.

Killian shoved his hands into his pockets as he angrily strutted down the street, her words replaying in his mind, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. How could she say that?! She knew how much she meant to him! He kicked a small stone on the ground sending it flying. That was just it though, she did know, he knew her well enough to know that she does this, sabotages her own happiness and keeps people at a distance. It felt like every time he scaled one of her walls and got closer to her within a matter of days there was another one in its place he had to tackle. He sighed, it was worth it though, those moments when she opened herself to him, those times she smile that truly blissfully honest smile, when her eyes were full of love and wide open allowing him a glimpse of her soul, even the tears she trusted him with. Those were the moments he found himself fighting for.

Her reaction tonight had caught him off guard. Things had been going so well and he knew she didn't like being apart just as much as he didn't so he thought she'd be happy he asked her to move in. He needed to find out what triggered her response; he'd just have to wait patiently until she was ready to tell him. He turned around and started walking back to her house now he had cooled down. The last thing he wanted to do was waste a rare night together by fighting!

He quietly opened the front door, not sure what state he'd find her in. The house was silent, there was a dim light coming from the living room, he followed it and found her fast asleep on the couch. Her glass of wine was empty and one look at her face told him she'd been crying. He sighed and lifted her in his arms and carried her up to bed. He laid her down, got undressed and crawled in beside her.

She began to stir, "mmmm, Killian?" She reached out, eyes still closed.

"I'm right here, love." He wrapped his arm around her waist.

She slowly opened her eyes, "I'm sorry." She said as a tear ran down her cheek.

He wiped it away with his finger and whispered, "shhhh, it's ok, I'm not going to pressure you into something you're not ready for. We'll figure something out."

She shook her head, "I shouldn't have said what I did, and I know you don't think of me like that, I'm just scared that's what other people will think. I'm scared of being in the public eye, or the children being photographed, but most of all I'm scared that...It's all too good to be true and it's only a matter of time before I lose you too!"

Killian pulled her into his arms and squeezed her as he kissed her on the head. "I'll do whatever I can to protect you and the kids from the paparazzi, I don't give a shit what people think, and anyone who knows you knows that's not what you are. And as for losing me...believe me, love, I understand, I wake up in cold sweats sometimes having nightmares about losing you, I guess it's natural considering what we've gone through, but Emma, I'll never leave you by choice, that's why I asked you to come to Vancouver, I want to be a family!"

Another tear escaped her eye, she lifted her head back and reached up to kiss him, long and slow. When she pulled away she said, "I don't want to be apart from you either. Let me look into our options tomorrow...but for now I just want you!"

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her, hovering millimetres from her lips, "I think I can arrange that!"