By the time Oliver had finished talking, Cameron was completely speechless. Oliver guessed this was to be expected. With everything that he had told Cameron, it was a lot to process. It took a minute for Cameron to be able to gather his thoughts enough to speak at least somewhat coherently.
"So, you're really...I mean, you're actually-" Cameron stammered.
"Green Arrow?" Oliver smirked. "Yeah."
"And the rest of the Justice League? Are they seriously-" Cameron began.
"Still alive? Yes, they are." Oliver said.
"Wow." Cameron huffed a small laugh and ran his hands through his hair. "I kinda guessed that some of you stupid heroes were still around, because there was no way you could have all possibly died in one battle. I mean, you guys are called superheroes, after all. But, all of you…"
"Yeah, it's a lot to take in." Oliver said.
"That's an understatement." Cameron muttered. The teenager grew quiet for a minute. When he spoke again, it was with a lot more hesitancy. "Why would you tell me about this?"
Oliver furrowed his brow in slight confusion. "I already told you."
"What? Because you think I should join your little band of heroes? Yeah, right." Cameron scoffed. "Trust me, Arrow, I'm no hero." Cameron looked down at his hands and clenched his fists. He could feel the ice inside of him, just wanting to get out, but Cameron wouldn't let it. He had lost control of his powers, of himself, enough that night. He needed to keep it under control, before he did something that he would regret for the rest of his life.
"All I ever do is hurt people." Cameron said to himself. How ironic. He couldn't be a proper villain because he couldn't bring himself to hurt people intentionally. And yet, he would probably make an even worse hero because he was constantly bringing harm to the people around him. He just couldn't seem to do anything right.
"Cameron, I'm sure that's not-" Oliver began say, but he stopped and went still when he heard a knocking sound from the front door. Somebody was out there. Cameron had also heard it, and stared at the door with wide eyes. The knocking stopped for a few tense seconds, and then the person on the other side of the door spoke.
"Cameron, if you're in there, you had better let me in, or I swear to god I will kick the door down." The person warned. Cameron's breath got caught in his throat when he heard that voice that he was all too familiar with.
"A-artemis?" What the hell was she doing here? How had she known where Cameron had gone? Had she followed him? So many questions came to Cameron's head at once, it made his head hurt. His thoughts had already felt crowded enough thanks to all the information that Oliver had thrown at him, and now Artemis was here? Well, wasn't that just fan-freaking-tastic. Cameron couldn't deal with this right now.
Cameron wanted more than anything for Artemis to leave, or, at the very least, try to talk to him at a time when he didn't already have so much junk to stress out about. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen. Artemis was here now, and Cameron knew that she would make good on her promise to break the door down if that's what it came to.
Really, Cameron had little choice but to confront Artemis now. Somehow, he had a feeling that this wasn't going to go very well. Cameron sighed, tried, and failed, to shake off the thin layer of frost that, in his anxious state, he had accidentally caused to come over his hands, and went to, begrudgingly, open the door. Cameron knew that it was best to not keep Artemis waiting, or else she would end up even more pissed off than she already was.
Oliver got the feeling that whatever was going to be said and done between Cameron and Artemis would be personal, so, to give them their privacy, Oliver went into one of the other rooms. Cameron was glad to see him go, not because he wanted to talk to Artemis alone, because he really, really didn't. But, Cameron knew that if Artemis saw Oliver, questions would be asked, and Cameron didn't want to have to deal with that.
Taking a deep breath, Cameron braced himself before opening the door just slightly. Apparently, he was going too slowly because the second he began opening the door, Artemis just pushed it wide open and let herself into the penthouse. She didn't say something right away, just stood there in silence and took in the state of the place.
"Wow," Artemis snorted "What did you do to this place?" Cameron scowled and shoved his hands in his pockets. Yeah, alright, the room looked like a disaster area. Ice, frost, and broken furniture was scattered everywhere, and Cameron hated how Artemis, and even Oliver, had seen it. It was embarrassing.
"Shut up." Cameron muttered. He sighed under his breath. "What are you doing here, Arty?" He asked with a tired voice. He didn't want to deal with her right now. He didn't want to deal with anything. Cameron was just so sick and tired of everything.
Artemis snapped toward Cameron, her eyes set in an exasperated glare. "Me? What about you? Last time I checked, you're the one who broke in here."
Cameron shrugged. "It's not like anybody uses this place anymore. How did you know where I was?"
"I had some friends help me." Artemis rolled her eyes when she saw Cameron tense at her answer. "Calm down, they're not even up here. I made them wait downstairs. I figured you wouldn't want to see anybody else right now."
'Yeah, I don't,' Cameron thought to himself, 'including you.'
Artemis frowned at Cameron's standoffish attitude. Something was bothering him, that much was obvious. Artemis wished that, for once, Cameron would open up and tell her what was wrong. She wished that he could see that she could help him, and he didn't have to deal with everything by himself.
That was actually why Artemis had come here in the first place, to convince Cameron that he wasn't alone. Artemis realized that, if she wanted Cameron to open up to her, it would probably go better if she didn't say things to make him get defensive. It would require stepping a bit out of her comfort zone, but Artemis thought that it was high time that they both moved out of their own personal bubbles.
Artemis sighed and put her hand on Cameron's arm. She felt him flinch and tense at the touch, but she didn't let go. Even though Cameron's skin was uncomfortably cold against her own, Artemis held on. She wasn't going to give up on Cameron, and he needed to know that.
"Cam, can we please just talk?" Artemis asked. Cameron stared straight ahead and refused to look at her.
"There's nothing to talk about." Cameron said. Artemis shook her head.
"There is a lot of things that we need to talk about, you dork." Artemis said. "For starters, what happened tonight? Why did you run off?"
"I just got...overwhelmed." Cameron said. He wasn't lying, but there was no need to tell Artemis just why he got overwhelmed. She didn't need to know that he couldn't handle all the judgemental stares and ridiculous expectations. And she definitely didn't need to know that her being there had just made it all even worse.
"Do you still feel overwhelmed?" Artemis asked. Cameron had to think about how to answer that one.
"Uh, yes?" He said. Because he really did feel overwhelmed, but now it was more because of all the information Oliver had given him. He had learned that The Justice League was still around, and that was a lot to take in. Not just that, but Oliver had also suggested that he join them.
Cameron still thought that it was a ridiculous idea. He couldn't really see himself becoming a hero. But, Cameron was surprised to find that, somehow, the thought of joining The Justice League actually seemed kinda appealing. And that scared him. He wasn't hero material...was he?
"You know, you shouldn't stress so much about what The Light, or anybody else, thinks." Artemis advised.
Cameron rolled his eyes. That was easy for her to say, she wasn't the one whose future depended on what The Light decided. Cameron wouldn't be leader of Star City unless The Light allowed it, and they would only do that if they thought he could handle it. And Cameron hadn't been doing a very good job at proving that he could handle anything.
Now, Cameron didn't necessarily want to be leader of Star City. In fact, if the circumstances were different, he would really rather not get the job. Cameron didn't like being the one in charge. Sure, he liked being able to make decisions for himself, but being in charge of other people? Not really his thing. His dad always said that he lacked initiative.
However, despite how he felt about it, Cameron knew that he had to be Star City's leader. Cameron partially felt this way because it was what his dad had tried to prepare him for. It was what he had wanted.
The even bigger reason that Cameron needed to do this was that he knew that if he didn't get an 'in' on the power ladder, he was doomed. After all, Cameron was a meta-human, and the only reason that he hadn't already been 'recruited' into The Light's little meta-human army was because of who his father was. Now though, Cameron didn't have his dad's protection anymore, and was only still free because The Light was considering him for a higher position. If they decided that he wasn't good enough to rule Star City, chances were they would capture him and force him to be one of their meta-human dogs. And there was no way that Cameron was going to let that happen, which meant that he had to get the leadership position. Either way, he would have to serve The Light.
Unless, of course, he joined The Justice League.
Wow. Cameron couldn't believe that he was actually seriously considering it. Becoming a hero was an insane idea, and it could go horribly wrong. Or, this was Cameron's chance to get out from The Light's control. He wouldn't have to be working under them if he was part of the team that was fighting against them.
Oh, god. This wasn't just an insane idea, it was a suicidal one. Cameron was honestly considering turning against the people who ran the stinking world. The Light did not take treachery lightly. If they ever found out what Cameron was doing, he was a dead man. They were going to freaking kill him!
Artemis could tell that Cameron was internally struggling with himself, and seemed on the verge of freaking out. She could tell because his eyes were distant and full of panic, she could feel his arm shaking slightly beneath her hand. And, most of all, Artemis could tell because his skin grew even colder. It was beyond uncomfortable now, holding his arm had become downright painful, but Artemis didn't let go. If anything, she tightened her grip to try to reassure Cameron that she was there for him.
"Look, I may not know what you're dealing with right now, but I can still help you with it if you'd just let me. You don't have to handle everything on your own, you know." Artemis said. "For once in your life, would you please just tell me what's wrong?"
Oh hell no.
Cameron pulled harshly away from Artemis' grasp. "I can't." he said.
Artemis narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "Really? Why not?"
'Because the stuff I've gotten myself roped into is dangerous, and I'm not about to drag you into it.' Cameron thought to himself. "I just can't." He said aloud.
"Why are you so against talking to me?" Artemis asked, the frustration in her voice evident.
The answer to that was clear. Cameron didn't want to let himself get close to Artemis because he was afraid of hurting her again. He had nearly killed her when they were kids. He had hit her with his ice just earlier that night. And, for the past ten years Cameron had been causing her pain by ignoring her every single day. And yet, no matter how much he hurt her, she was still trying to help him? To rekindle their friendship?
It made absolutely no sense to Cameron. He didn't understand why day after day, year after year, Artemis would continue reaching out to him. No matter how many times he pushed her away, or how much he hurt her, Artemis kept on coming right back to him.
Why would she do that? Why would she care about him that much?
Why would anybody care about him that much?
Cameron didn't notice how tightly he had been clenching his fists, how much his fingernails were digging into his skin, until he felt warm blood dripping from the wounds he had accidentally caused. If it weren't for the blood, Cameron wouldn't have realized that he was hurting himself. He hadn't even felt any pain whatsoever from the small crescent shaped cuts, and he still didn't.
Aside from a strange tingling feeling in his hands, Cameron felt absolutely nothing. He felt numb. He couldn't even feel the ice that was beginning to cover his hands. The only reason he knew it was there at all was because, even though his hands were still in his pockets, he could see a thin layer of ice at his wrists, and it was spreading.
Cameron tried to stop the ice, tried to make it go away, but he couldn't. It took concentration to control ice when he was upset, and his mind was way too full of thoughts about The Justice League, fear of The Light, Artemis...just, just Artemis. Cameron could barely tell what he was thinking about, but the point was, he couldn't focus enough to control his ice properly.
Cameron just wanted it all to stop. He wanted his powers to stop acting up and doing what he didn't want them to do. He wanted his thoughts to stop being so confusing and mixed up. He wanted his life to stop being so freaking messed up all the time.
He wished that everything would just stop!
"Cam," Once again, Artemis came to Cameron to try to 'help' him. Cameron didn't want her, or anybody else's, help. He just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately, Artemis was too stubborn to just leave him be. Artemis approached Cameron again and, without hesitation, took his hand out from his pocket and held it between her own.
Cameron flinched and tried to pull his hand away, but Artemis' grasp was firm and she wasn't about to let go. Cameron was horrified. His skin was always unnaturally cold, but now his hand was freezing and covered in ice. Holding his hand like this was undoubtedly painful for Artemis, and yet, she still refused to let go.
Cameron's began to panic. Artemis just touching him was hurting her, and yet it was clear that she wasn't planning on letting go of his hand any time soon. This wasn't good. If Artemis held on to his hand for too long, she could potentially get frostbite, which could cause some serious, and perhaps permanent, damage to her hands. She probably knew this, and yet she held on.
Why would she do something so risky, and so stupid? Whatever. It didn't matter what her reasons were. What mattered was that Artemis couldn't keep on holding his hand like this. It was dangerous. And if Artemis wouldn't let go on her own, then Cameron would have to be the one to make her let go of his stupid hand.
Cameron took his available hand out of his pocket and used it to try to push Artemis away. As his shaking hand made contact with Artemis' shoulder, a strange feeling passed through his hand. Cameron was familiar enough with his powers to know that he had done something, but he wasn't entirely sure what. This felt similar to, but also different from all the other times that he had used his powers...well, almost all the other times. Cameron couldn't exactly remember it, but he was sure that he had felt this sensation before.
A feeling of deja vu came over Cameron when he saw Artemis stagger back after he had shoved her. His push really shouldn't have been strong enough to actually cause her to let go of his hand and back away, and yet, it did. Artemis shivered slightly, a brief look of discomfort came over her face as she brought a hand to her shoulder.
"Cameron, what did you do?" Artemis asked. Cameron shook his head and looked at his hands. He wasn't really sure what he had done. Obviously, he had used his powers somehow, but he couldn't tell what they had done. Artemis wasn't bleeding, and her shoulder wasn't covered in ice, so it didn't seem like he had done anything.
And yet, Cameron was sure that something had happened. He knew that he had used his powers, even though it looked like he hadn't. This was strange, because Cameron's powers always left behind physical evidence. Whether it be ice, frost, blood caused by a cut, or even just reddened skin caused by the cold. And yet, Artemis looked completely normal. It was almost like, whatever he had done, hadn't hit her physically, but somehow had gone straight through her skin and gone inside of her…
...Wait.
Oh no.
Oh, god please no!
Not again. This...this couldn't be happening again. It just couldn't!
And yet, it had.
Feelings of dread and guilt built up in inside of Cameron. He looked down at his shaking hands, horrified at what they had done. At what he had done. Suddenly, it was like he was eight years old all over again. Young, stupid, and unsure of what to do. The man who had helped Artemis last time had been old, and was probably dead now. Cameron had no idea what he could do this time.
And that terrified him.
And, what made this whole situation even worse, Artemis actually looked concerned about him. Cameron supposed that he couldn't fault her for that. After all, Artemis likely had no idea what he had done, that he had even done anything at all. She had been so young, as well as unconscious, the last time this had happened. She probably had no idea that her blood was slowly turning to ice, which was freezing her from the inside out. All Artemis knew was that he was scared, and she didn't know why.
"Cameron, what are you-" Artemis reached out to him, but Cameron shied away from her.
"Get out." Cameron said dejectedly. Artemis shouldn't be anywhere near him, he was too dangerous. Just like when they were younger, Cameron believed that the best way to keep her safe was to keep her away from him.
"What? Cam, I'm not leaving." Artemis said stubbornly.
"Please." Cameron said quietly. "Just go." Artemis hesitated, and it was clear that leaving was the last thing that she wanted to do at that moment. But she was a smart girl. She knew that Cameron was upset, and had deduced that his powers weren't as easily controlled when he was in this kind of state of mind. So, even though she loathed doing so, when Artemis felt the drop of temperature in the room, she did as Cameron requested and left.
A/N: So, that wasn't where I was planning on ending the chapter. In fact, it's only about half as much as I had planned, but I guess the rest will just have to wait until next chapter. I just keep on underestimating just how much I can write about ones thoughts and feelings. Seriously, I've only just realized how angsty my writing of Cameron is.
