"There's a time in every Dark Lords life in which they have to complete their To-Do-List" Voldemort tried to reason with himself as he searched almost aimlessly through his cluttered cupboards for the list he started oh-so very long ago. "I WANT MY TO-DO-LIST FINISHED!!" he screamed as he found it shoved behind several heavy pairs of boots and a Death-Mask and settled down for a long night of listening to his quill scratching on old, creased parchment.
Voldemorts Fifth To-Do-List
(Because he has no life!)
121. Build the tallest tower on earth and drop a coin off the edge preferably on Wormtail's head.(Will the brain matter – or there lack of – really splatter everywhere as suggested in many muggle studies?)
122. Crash a wedding, get laid and then ditch the chick. (I just love that movie!)
123. Book a hot-air-balloon joy-ride and then not turn up. (I know, I know, I'm just too evil!)
124. Steal a mini-bus and street race it. (Tokyo Drift style!)
125. Go shopping in Speedos. (Then they can see my sexy body!)
126. Take Wormtail to the movies, and then make him throw stale sweets at unsuspecting old people. (Sad but funny. Imagine their faces!)
127. Buy a cowboy hat. (Yeeha!)
128. Trip Snape into a trip to the hairdressers. (Cut, wash and blow-dry coming his way!)
129. Pull and elephants trunk. (The big question: Will it scream?)
130. Walk up prostitute lane in Las Vegas and deem them all unworthy of your attention. (How pissed will they get!)
131. Let off a fart-bomb in the kitchen of DEAHQ – Death Eaters Anonymous Head Quarters. (Why? Because I can.)
132. Re-name my faithful group. (Death-Eaters is getting a bit old – people just aren't cowering as they used too!)
133. Create a rally against the violence of senior citizens. (Walking sticks are like damned wands to that aged lot!)
134. Eat a block of cheese in front of Wormtail. (Hopefully he'll wet his pants in anticipation of me sharing – not that I will)
135. Get Lucius to jump in front of a muggle bus. (Just to see if it stops quick enough to save him from serious injury)
136. Order a hamburger with no fillings. (Why not?)
137. Walk into a room and randomly play with the light switch. (On. Off. On. Off. On. Off….)
138. Get Bella to kiss one of the Queen's Guards. (I bet they will move then – I know I would!)
139. Hold an open day at Death HQ. (Promoting our cause!)
140. Buy a pet goldfish and take it back for a refund when it dies. (They come with a lifetime guarantee right?!?)
141. Wear fishnets and short skirts during peace-meetings with the Minister of Magic. (What a stir that will cause!)
142. Train surf! (It's young, it's hip and it's death-defying!)
143. Buy a car to kick when I can't figure out how to make it work. (Then I'll kidnap a useless muggle to show me!)
144. Have a pillow fight (With whom, I'm unsure of)
145. Make Nagini try to eat an elephant. Whole. (That snake does have a big mouth!)
146. Rename Hogwarts – Voldie's. (Sounds better. It has a ring to it!)
147. Dye my hair. (That's right, I'm bald – dye Draco's hair black)
148. Torture than kill all muggles, muggle-borns, and half-bloods. (With the exception of my beautiful self)
149. Watch an episode of the Gummi-Bears. (I just love that fat one!)
150. Throw a huge party in the honour of killing the boy who wouldn't die and his pathetic side-kicks. (We wont mention that they aren't dead yet. But he will be...mark my words!)
"Yeah, so-not finished, but way too tired to do anymore." He snarled between a yawn that would never be stifled. "Finish next time."
Howdy...review plz...Bye!!
