Enjoy this last chapter! ;)
It was completely silent and they both stared at the candles flickering on the table. Suddenly he stood up and turned out the music she had turned on right before diner. She obseved him while he walked back to the table, he looked so tired, the dark circles underneath his eyes confirmed it. He sat down and continued gazing at the candlelight.
"So, how was your day?" Fiona asked.
Alex startled and looked up. "Oh fine."
When he looked away again she asked. "How was Stevie doing?"
"Better now." His answers were short and Fiona got iritated.
"I thought we would have a romantic diner?"
He straightened his back and sat up straight, then he frowned. "That's exactly what we're having right now."
Fiona stood up to poor him some wine. "No thanks." He said right away, when he looked up to her and saw her dissapointed face he felt a bit sorry. "I'm sorry, but I don't want wine."
When he heard her putting down the bottle just a little to hard, he looked straight into her eyes, but her eyes were avoiding his.
His wife did everything she could to make a great diner, she even cooked herself. But like most of the time, she wasn't satisfied. He didn't gave her enough attention and again, she didn't understand.
"What's wrong with you Alex? You said you were trying, well I don't feel it at all."
This time he wasn't devensive right away, instead he stayed pretty calm. "I am Fi. I'm just tired."
"Then why are we doing this?"
He glared at her. "We're spending time together. I can't just change in one second, I'm sorry."
Fiona softened up and tried everything to not argue again, but the tension between them didn't fade away. "It's ok, let me get the food." And she went to the kitchen.
When Fiona came back he forced a smile on his face. "That sure looks great baby."
She smiled, all she needed was a few compliments. And he knew what she needed, but it was hard to give.
While they were eating Alex suddenly gave her a compliment. "You look beautiful Fi."
It made her smile "Well thank you." She replied and walked towards him to give him a kiss.
"Let's not waste our diner hey?" A poor excuse to keep it a short kiss.
A bit insecure she pulled back and quickly went back to her seat and continued eating.
… … …
After dessert he looked at the clock and suddenly excused himself. "I'm sorry, I have to go."
Fiona raised her eyebrow.
He explained. "Yeah, I promised Dave to drink a few beers with him."
Something snapped inside of her, she threw her napkin on the table, stood up and started to loudly clear the table. Alex was unsure of what to do, but he decided to just ignore her angry attitude and walked towards her.
"I'm sorry Fi, see you later ok?" He softly kissed her cheek.
She didn't reply, exhaled trough her nose and followed him with her eyes as he was leaving, her eyes were spitting fire.
For a moment there he wanted to ask her something, but didn't want another fight. So he left Killarney and went to the boys cottage for a men's-only-night with Dave.
… … …
"Evening mate."
Dave widely smiled. "I thought you forgot."
Alex sounded down. "Nah, I had to have diner with Fiona first."
"Oh so, you ended diner with a special dessert and forgot about the time ey?" He joked.
But Alex didn't think it was funny and shook his head.
Dave raised an eyebrow, but he didn't ask anything. "Well make yourself at home, while I'll get you a beer."
Alex nodded friendly and sat down on the couch.
When Dave came back with the beers he noticed the depressed look on his friends face. He handed him a beer and sat down next to him. They both sipped their beers.
"I pretty messed up everything mate."
Now Dave frowned, but still didn't ask anything, he didn't want to push him.
"So I guess I won't earn a lot of money tonight huh." He refered to their conversation earlier that day.
Alex carefully smiled.
"Was that a smile? That's 10 bucks for me!" Dave teased.
Alex shook his head once again. "Oh shut up will ya? I'm trying to be serious here."
Dave gently smiled back and sipped his beer. Alex leaned back and ran his hand through his hair.
"Have you ever thought about the choices you've made in life? And wondered if it were the right ones?"
A deep sigh came from the vet. "Man, you don't know half of it."
But Alex meant a more specific subject. "I mean when you were with Tess. You tought it was meant to be, you thought you had made the right choice, didn't ya?"
Another sigh came from his toes before answering. "Well I did, but aparantly Tess had made the wrong choice." He grinned.
"How did you found out you weren't meant to be?"
Now Dave became more serious. "I guess you come to a point when you just know. I had hoped we were meant to be and I really was in love with Tess but she wasn't the one. I found out that I was still grieving. You know, when I was married to Leanne, I just knew she was the love of my life." He struggled to hold his tears.
Alex was surprised. "Geez mate, you never talk about her."
"You know exactly how it feels. Hearing her name is painful and talking about her hurts even more."
Alex immediately thought of Claire. "Yep, it sure does."
Suddenly Dave stood up and swang his empty bottly in the air. "i reckon we need something stronger." He walked to the kitchen, while Alex glared at his almost empty beer.
He returned with a large braun bottle, Alex jumped up from his thoughts when Dave slammed the bottle on the table.
"Scotish Wiskey, what about it?" Dave asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
Alex pulled him a face. "Talking about something stronger..."
"Well, are you up for it or not?"
"Sure. But the ute stays here then."
While opening the bottle he smiled. "You should consider to hit the sack here as well. Killarney is a pretty long walk after a few of these." Dave glanced at his drink.
Alex nodded. "Righto, that's not a bad idea. Let me call Fi then."
… … …
When Alex hung up he seemed even more unhappy.
"I reckon you really could use one of these mate." Dave pointed out.
"You reckon?" He sarcastically responded, then it was quiet and Dave poored in some wiskey.
"Cheers."
Alex nodded. "Cheers mate." And he finished it all in one time. The look on his face after made Dave laugh.
"So we were talking about Leanne..." Alex said while he poored himself another whiskey.
Dave replied. "I thought we were talking about you and Fiona."
"I had hoped things would get better, but things are only getting worse."
Dave frowned and waited for Alex to explain.
And he did. "She thinks I'm in love with Stevie. We've had a huge fight about it."
Dave wasn't surprised but didn't reply and just waited again.
Alex frowned and looked at him. "What?"
A tiny smile appeared on Dave's face, but he tried to look surprised. "Well?"
Now Alex got irritated. "What; well?!
"Well...are you?"
"Of course I'm not."
Dave ran his hand through his hair and looked at the bottle on the table. "Maybe it's just me...we've only had a few drinks, but this stuff is strong." It was kind of weird that he didn't respond to the defending answer he'd just got.
Alex laughed. "Yeah and we're getting old. Especially you."
Dave laughed too and enthusiasticly pointed out. "That's 10 bucks for me! You smiled!"
Then Alex tried to be grumpy. "Poor me another drink wil ya."
Dave shook his head and took the bottle, he smiled when he poored in the Wiskey.
… … …
With one large sip he emptied his glass all in one time again. Dave waved the bottle which he was still holding, gesturing if he wanted another one. Alex pushed his glass towards him and nodded, then he stared at the table.
He kept staring and softly spoke. "You know? I thought it wasn't possible."
Now Dave got confused. "Huh?" But Alex just kept staring in front of him. "You have to fill in the blanks, 'cause I can't really follow you mate."
It took some couriagge but he started to explain. "I thought it wasn't possile to feel this way again. I tried to ignore it for a long time..."
From the look on his face he understood that Dave still didn't got it. "Look our conversation reminds me of Claire. And I thought I would never feel that way about a woman again. But aperantly it ís possible."
Dave suddenly got it and blurted out. "Stevie."
Alex nodded and looked at his mate with a worried look on his face.
"But you've been friends for ages. When d..."
"I don't know exactly how and when Dave, I can only say this started way back."
Dave wasn't surprised about this, Alex and Stevie had always been very close and their friendship was special, anyone could see that.
He sipped his drink and then asked. "How long ago are we talking about exactly?"
"My guess is; ever since we kissed. That was quite something." He smiled, remembering the kiss.
Dave almost choked in his drink, he was just swallowing. "You kissed her? You're kidding me right?" Dave was very serious and kind of old-fashioned about weddings and stuff, so he couldn't believe what he just heard.
Alex laughed. "I wasn't married then."
"So it's thát long ago...That's weird."
Now Alex frowned at him and looked amazed.
Dave added. "Yeah I mean; you kissed Stevie and felt something, but now you're married to Fiona?"
"I said I just realised how I feel."
But it was hard to believe for Dave. "How can you not know?"
"I don't know. We're friends, always have been. I have always felt good around Stevie, never saw her as a potentional girlfriend."
Dave knew Alex for quite some time as well and he heard a few stories. "Because you were a heartbreaker and you didn't want to hurt her. Is that it?"
Alex sighed very deeply and leaned back. "I don't know mate. I'm having a hard time to figure it out myself."
Dave got curious and wondered. "These feelings you have, are they mutual?"
Alex shrugged. "I'm not sure. She's not giving me any signals."
They kept talking and talking and Dave kept on asking, now that his friend had opened up he wanted to know everything.
… … …
After a while the bottle was almost empty and things got quieter. Dave had offered to smoke a sigar, because accoording to his unkle that should go very well with the Wiskey. They were both relaxing, taking a puff every now and then, Dave hanging on the chair and Alex laying on the couch.
All questions had been answered, except for one...
"So...what are you going to do now?"
Alex sighed. "Don't know."
Suddenly Dave moved to sit up straight and looked in his friends eyes. "You're in love with your best friend while you're married and you're having strong doubts about your marriage. Right?"
Alex nodded.
"Then I guess you know very well what to do."
Alex shrugged, the booze had made him feel numb and he was tired.
Suddenly Dave pointed out. "I see now why you've changed so much. You see when a men is frusterated, most of the times it's because one of these two reasons; either he can't get what he wants, or he doesn't get what he needs."
Now Alex looked confused...
But Dave added. "Works the same for bulls."
Alex had some trouble to hold his laughter. "Oh god. The good old vet-pshycology huh? Brewer?! Please, cut it out or I will make you a very rich man." He was refering to the bet they had made – 10 bucks per smile. And he was about to burst out in laughter, because of Dave's dumb theory.
Dave laughed. "Think about it! It's true!" He was joking, but his theory wasn't a bad one at all.
… … …
The phone rang..."Dave Brewer."
"Hi Stevie." Alex mouthed 'shut up' to Dave...
Dave answered. "Yes, yes he's here. We were just talking about ya." Now he got an angry look from his friend, who shook his head.
Right before Alex took over the phone another large sip from his Wiskey dissapeared in his mouth. "Stevie..."
…."Oh nothing, you know, we were talking about the good old rodeo days..."
Dave laughed and winked, he put up his tumb, as he was saying; you saved yourself pretty well.
..."Yeah, we've had a few drinks...You know me to well Stevie..." He laughed, because Stevie could hear he wasn't sober.
..."So how are you?..."
"You're already home?...This afternoon?...That's great!"
While Alex listened to Stevie he looked at Dave, who was mouthing 'invite her'. But that wasn't a good idea, if Fiona found out...
Dave kept on mouthing the same thing over and over again. 'Come on, invite her'.
Alex really want to see her, especially now that she was home. "Hey Stevie, why don't you come over? The three of us should have a drink, to celebrate you're home."
Stevie was alright with that.
… … …
When Stevie walked in Alex got that warm feeling inside him again. He stayed where he was, hanging on the couch. His whole face lightened up when he saw her. "Hey there."
Stevie nodded and had a loving smile on her face. "Hey." She softly replied.
Dave whisteled when she walked by. "Looking good miss Hall, you did that all for us?"
Stevie laughed. "I knew it. You are both wasted." Then she slapped Alex on his legs, to make him move them, but he teased her and kept the legs on the couch. With her hands on her waist she looked him straight in the eye; "You are supposed to put your feet up for me, you know?"
The vet laughed and stood up to get a glass for Stevie. "We're not wasted, in fact, we are very good company, right Alex?" He winked at him, Alex nodded.
While Dave was at the kitchen Alex said. "He's right, you do look good."
"Great 'cause I feel good too." She smiled.
"Glad to hear that Steves."
Dave came back, he immideately saw how they looked at each other, now he totally got it.
… … …
Stevie sat comfortably next to Alex, a little distance between them, but that would soon change...
She smiled at the two men and sipped her wiskey, strong, but it was great.
"So you were talking about the good old days huh?" She turned and looked next to her, at her best friend. "What exactly were you bragging about?" She asked with an attempting smile.
Alex played along and wiggled his eyebrows. "About how I beated you back then."
Stevie shook her head and acted like she knew nothing. "Oh really? With what?"
Now Alex laughed and teased her. "Oh come on, you remember. Or maybe it was so painfull that you erased it from your memory?"
Dave pointed out. "You owe me some money Ryan."
"Huh?" Stevie didn't get it. So Dave explained about the bet they've made, she laughed about it. "Well, it worked, you cheered him up and I'm glad you did." She was serious and looked at Alex with a satisfying smile on her face.
Dave answered. "No, actually you are the one who really cheered him up. He was a wreck before you arrived. Why do you think we're drinking wiskey?"
They all laughed. With the three of them sitting together they always had fun.
… … …
After a while it got a bit more cosey, the space that was left between the two best friends was gone. Stevie had put her feet up on the couch and was leaning against Alex, he sat up straight, but leaned back. Dave now noticed even more how close they were.
It was good to bring back those old memories, so they could forget about the diffuclties they went through lately.
Aex bragged about the rodeo's. "You couldn't stand it if I won."
She suddenly slapped him on his leg. "What?! You've never beated me with anything!"
"Oh yes I did sweetie." He said, when she turned to look in his eyes, he was obviously flirting with her.
She laughed. "You didn't!" Then she turned to Dave. "He's lying, it was more like the other way around."
Dave sighed. "Well, there's only one way to find out." He winked at Alex.
Then Alex looked at his best mate. "Riiight. You and me, first thing tommorow."
"I don't think so. We both got a farm to run, in case you forgot."
"That's why I said 'first thing', we do it early in the morning."
"I'm in. I'd love to see you race against me with a majour hangover." She laughed.
Alex shook his head. "I won't be the only one riding with a hangover."
"Oh come on I didn't drink half as much as you. You're drunk."
"I am not!"
"Yeah you are."
"I'm not." He playfully tickled her. Which made her back slip away and she landed on halfway on his lap.
"Alex! Cut it out!" They both laughed. Dave was watching them and decided not to say anything.
… … …
Dave was completely confused and looked around him, his eyes felt so heavy and he discovered he had fell asleep in his chair. He moaned when he sat up, his neck was sore and he decided to finished his drink that was still on the table, but it didn't taste that great anymore. When he put down the glass he noticed Stevie and Alex on the couch, they had fell asleep too. And they were sleeping in each other's arms. It looked cozey and Dave just sat there for a while staring at them and thinking.
Alex his head rested on the armrest of the couch, his legs wide open, Stevie in between. She was leaning against his belly and her head rested on his chest, he had his arms around her. Somehow it looked uncomfortable, but they were lying there so peacefully. Dave knew it was wrong, but he smiled and walked to his bedroom, he came back with some spare blankets for his friends. And carefully put the blankets on them, then he went to his bedroom again, to get some sleep.
… … …
When it was still dark Stevie suddenly woke up. She slightly paniced when she realised where and with who she was. She restlessly kicked her legs, got up and slapped the blankets off of her.
"What the hell?"
This woke up Alex of course. He gently closed his arms again to hold her where she was. It made Stevie froze.
He slightly opened his eyes and said with a hoarse voice. "Hey, calm down."
But Stevie wasn't calm. "What's with the blankets...What happened."
Alex was still dealing with the effects of the alcohol and he didn't worry about this awkward situation yet. "Well, probably Dave put them there?" He got up a little and Stevie moved to create some distance between them.
"We just fell asleep, you worry to much Stevie." He rubbed his face and then stared at her. But Stevie felt confused, somehow it felt so good, being this close to him, but it wasn't good.
He grinned. "Come here." and spred his arms, Stevie frowned and shook her head.
"You're still drunk."
He ignored that and softly invited her again. "Come on, come here. I don't want you to get cold."
It was to attempting to not take the invitation, so she crawled towards him and carefuly lowered herself on his chest again. She moved a bit more on her side and had one hand flat next to her face on his chest.
Alex made a satisfied sound and put one arm around her. "There. That's better." Then he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.
"Alex?"...But he didn't answer.
Right when she wanted to say his name a third time he suddenly replied. "What..."
She looked up to him and shyly smiled. "We probably shouldn't be this close."
He laughed and wiggled his eyebrows. "Brings back some memories hey?" They just looked in each other's eyes, he added. "You know..."
Stevie nodded and smiled. Oh yes, she remembered.
Alex said. "That was a great kiss back then."
"Yes it was."
Then he unexpectedly asked. "Did you feel something?"
She shrugged.
"I did." He admitted for the first time.
Stevie was amazed. "What? What did you feel then?"
He looked serious. "Oh come on, you felt it too."
"Maybe."
"Be honest. I can keep a little secret."
They both laughed.
She stared into his eyes and before she could answer he pressed his warm lips onto hers and carefully kissed her, it was intens, but he was gentle. Stevie was shocked, but the booze made it easy to just give in and kiss him back. There was no way she could control these strong feelings.
After a while he pulled back. "I can't do this. I'm married."
Stevie sarcastically responded. "Oh, really?" Then she looked more serious. "I just told you we shouldn't be this close."
"I guess this is what happens when we are this close."
Stevie tried to get up, but didn't succeed because he pulled her back. "There's no need to panic Stevie. It happened. Now let's go back to sleep." He caressed her arm to calm her.
Then it was quiet, he fell asleep real soon, but Stevie stayed awake. It felt so unreal.
… … …
"Wake up cowgirl." He softly said and caressed her cheek, then her nose to tease her. "I'm ready to beat you."
When she woke up she instantly remembered their kiss and got up a bit nervously.
Alex was calm, Stevie doubted if he remebered it too, maybe he was to sleepy?
"You want some coffee?"
"No thanks. I should be heading home, before everyone wonders where I am."
When she was putting on her coat she asked. "Where's Dave? And Riley?"
"Riley stayed with a friend last night. And Dave is still sleeping."
He sat down next to her on the couch and handed her a mug of coffee. "You might need this."
Stevie took it and carefully sipped the hot coffee. "How's your head?"
Alex smiled. "I've been better, but I'm ok. You?" They both sobered up a bit while they drank coffee and both of them seemed to realise what happened a few hours ago. It got quieter...
Suddenly Stevie pointed out. "It shouldn't have happened."
"Doesn't make any difference. My marriage sucks anyway."
Stevie frowned. "So does that mean you can go out and just kiss someone?"
He shyly smiled at her. "Not just someone."
She swallowed and kept looking at him, he looked away. "Alex?"
Then he got up and searched for his hat. "We should go. I can't wait to see you loose."
He walked to the door and got his coat. Stevie whispered. "I've already lost."
"What did you say? I heard that."
"Nothing, let's go."
… … …
"Morning!" Regan yelled, when she saw the two friends riding in the yard. They were just warming up before the race.
Stevie was amazed to see her this early, she didn't expect anyone to be up yet. "Hey! You're up early!"
"Yes, Tess and Nick arrive within a few hours. I decided to have an early start, clean the house a bit and to be totally ready to welcome them. What are you two up to?" Regan widely smiled, she obviously had a better night then her friends.
Stevie looked ahead of her. "I'm going to show Alex that I'm still a better rider then him."
Alex looked at Regan and said nothing, he laughed and shook his head.
Regan wasn't laughing at all and walked towards Stevie. "What is this all about? You're supposed to take it easy Stevie, you just got out of hospital."
Stevie was busy with the reigns. "I can do this, there's nothing wrong to practice some riding skills. It's just a bet and I'll be just fine." She widely smiled and raised her voice. "Alex thinks he can beat me!"
Regan pulled up her eyebrows and looked exited, she was worried but she could also see Stevie was doing much better. She decided not to ask anything, but to watch them.
When she observed Alex she noticed how pale he was. "Are you allright?" She asked when he drove by."
He replied. "Sure, why wouldn't I be?"
Stevie couldn't hold her laughter. "He's having a majour hangover!"
He replied. "Told you; I wouldn't be the only one riding with a hangover."
Regan climbed the fence and wondered what they had been up to...
… … …
Regan timed the race, Stevie started and she rode very well. Not as good as she once used to be, but it was good enough to impress her friends. When she heard the time she widely smiled and petted the horse. Then she folded her arms around the neck of Banjo to thank him for helping her feel better. It felt like some sort of therapy.
Alex now got ready to start his race, he knew it wouldn't be an easy one. Especially because of how he felt at the moment.
Stevie and Regan were both watching him closely...He had a good start, but after a while he started to slow down.
Regan looked at Stevie, who was enjoying herself. But suddenly the race came to an end, because in the distance they saw Alex fell off his horse. Stevie immideately got off the fence and jumped on Banjo.
"Alex!" she yellled as she approached him, but he didn't respond.
Regan took the ute to go after them. Alex was lying on his back, Stevie kneeled beside him, her hand reached out for his face and she softly talked to him.
He slowly woke up but kept his eyes closed and frowned. After a while he opened up his eyes and looked right in Stevie's eyes and then around him. He wanted to get up straight away, Stevie and Regan reached out to help him, but he refused their help.
"No, I'm fine."
Regan responded. "You shouldn't get up right away. Lay down and take it easy for a while."
Stevie agreed, she stayed right beside him and waited. But Alex wasn't going to listen, he was stubborn as always. And when Regan wanted to give him a hand again, he snapped.
"Listen, I maybe fell more then a hundred times in all of my rodeo days. And there hasn't been one time when I stayed on the ground for more then a few minutes." And then he got up. Stevie didn't argue with him.
But Regan got angry, she thought it was dumb and walked away. "Sure! Get up and go...If you hurt yourself, don't ask me to help you!"
Alex grinned after her and shook his head when he watched her walk away.
Stevie stood in front of him, with her hands on her hips. "What's so funny?"
He shruged and stared in her eyes, while he stood there, shaky and unstable.
Stevie looked serious. "Look at you." She sighed and looked at the ground for a second, then she looked up into his eyes again. "Go home and fresh yourself up, before your brother arrives." Then she also walked away, she turned a few times to just look at him.
… … …
It was a beauiful sunny afternoon and the girls were working together on the land, it was like Stevie hadn't been gone at all. They were working in the paddock near the boundaryfence, that was down. And the boys from Killarney worked on the fence, so the cattle wouldn't get mixed up again. It was like time stood still, like nothing bad ever happened. It was like Tess and Nick had never left. They were all there; Nick and Alex working together and Tess and Stevie working together, like those good old times. It was all good, from a distance things looked perfect and it seemed that everyone was happy; almost to good to be true.
Nick stopped working and walked through the field, sniffing the air and enjoying the scenery of his home. "Man, I'm so glad to be back."
Alex was carrying some wire and had to squeeze his eyes to look at his brother, because of the bright sun. "Doesn't have to be temporary you know?"
His younger brother looked back at him and smiled. "I'm sorry mate, those 5 years are not over yet."
While dropping the wire, he replied. "You must feel good over there."
"I do!" Nick said enthusiastic.
The girls had there own chat's, but mostly were working hard to seperate the cattle. Tess and Stevie were checking their side of the fence.
"Oi Stevie! Need a hand?" Alex yelled from a distance.
She put up her hand. "We're fine!"
Tess wondered. "How are you two doing?"
Her friend immediately looked around her before answering. "What do you mean?"
"Well, after everything that has happened."
Stevie shook her head, she thought it wasn't very smart to ask that around the others. Tess was the only one who knew she was in love with Alex. "We're fine."
Suddenly Alex stood behind her. "Hey. I thought you could use a hand. It's also my cattle."
"I just said..."
He put his hand on her shoulder, but she didn't expected that and jumped back. They both startled.
Stevie got mad. "I just told you I don't need a hand."
Alex pulled up one eyebrow. "I'm sorry. Didn't hear that." He didn't want any trouble, so he turned and walked away.
Tess saw everything and got curious. "I thought you said you were fine?"
Stevie snapped. "We are."
"Then why are you so hard on him?" She asked, but already knew what was going on. Nick had been talking to Alex and he of course shared it with his wifey.
Denial was written all over her face when Stevie answered. "I'm not hard on him."
"Oh yes you are. And I think he doesn't deserve it." She said and then turned to Alex to call him back. "It's ok Alex, we do need a hand here!" He saluted and nodded at her. Stevie shook her head while she climbed her horse to work with the cattle again.
She was pushing Alex away because she didn't want to be so close. Things had been so rough and at the end of the week the trial started, she wanted to focus on that.
After a while the girls mustered the cattle and Stevie went back to see how Tess was doing. But Nick and Alex were there too. Alex felt she ignored him and decided to ask her what's going on, he picked the right moment when she was alone.
"Hey" He said.
Stevie was busy with the fence and didn't look at him. "Hey."
He had his hands in his pockets and was unsure of how to reach her. "How are you?"
"I'm trying to working here."
"I don't know what you're doing, but it's not working."
Now she turned. "What are you talking about?"
Alex looked at the ground when their eyes meat. "You're avoiding me."
She snapped. "I'm not. I'm talking to you right now, don't I?"
"Not because you want to. What's going on?"
She dropped the tool and stood up to face him. "You know exactly what's going on. I'm trying to work here and I don't want to act like nothing happened."
Now Alex got confused. "I thought we were ok?"
"Yes we are Alex. But that doesn't mean I stop thinking about what happened. And right now I'm trying to be happy, Tess an Nick are here. And I have to focus on the trial..."
He sarcastically responded. "Right, well if you got some time left for me, let me know."
Stevie sighed and looked irritated. "I still don't get it. And that's why I don't want to be to close to you."
He walked towards her and just stared in her eyes, his voice was calm, but inside he was raging. "You didn't think that a few hours ago."
Stevie didn't think it was fair, that intimite moment didn't change wat happened. She got angry. "Well I do now! Damn it Alex, every single time I think about it I wonder why the hell did it had to come this far!"
… … …
From a distance Tess heard Stevie rasing her voice, she looked at Nick and sarcastically laughed.
"Nothing really changed here."
Nick gently smiled and was quite understandable. "Come on, we should give them a moment." He put his arm around his wife and they started walking. "Don't you just miss it here?" Tess asked, Nick nodded.
… … …
Alex couldn't keep his anger in anymore. "I thought we already discussed this? I don't know, ok?!"
She got more irritated. "Why did someone had to die?"
Alex sighed and kept looking at her. "Like I said before, I don't know." He kept it short, to protect himself from saying things he would regret later.
She turned around and grabbed her tool again. "Fine."
But Alex wasn't done talking. "You think it makes me feel better if you keep asking? I was scared." But Stevie didn't respond.
So Alex added. "Damn it! He was there to finish you!"
Suddenly she said "I remember that time when you wanted to kiil that brumby, because you thought he had caused Claire's death. You had that same empty look in your eyes."
Alex felt vulnareble now, the anger changed into sadness. He took a deep breath before he admitted. "That's because it felt exactly the same.." He walked up to her, fighting tears, he said with a softer voice. "I didn't want to loose you too."
Now she turned again. "You wanted revange for what he did to me, just like you wanted to with the brumby."
"I didn't kill the brumby."
"But you did kill Leo."
"Look I admit things got out of hand, but like I've said I did it to protect you. For Gods sake Stevie! He squeezed your throat!"
With her hands in her side she tried to be cool, but the images of what happened went through her mind. "You couldn't control yourself." She walked away, her hands on her head now.
Now he had enough. "You know what? Think what you like. He walked away but then turned one more time. "I thought you were on my side."
Stevie started to freak out, she walked in the opposite direction, still with her hands on her head. "Shut up! Please, shut up..."
Alex observed her and then walked back with large steps, he stopped right in front of her, with an angry look on his face. When he stood there she lowered her arms and frooze.
"Do you really think I can have peace with what happened? With what I've done? Put yourself in my shoes for one second. It's not all about you Stevie."
That hit her, she softly replied. "I'm sorry."
He still was angry, but the expression on his face changed when he saw what a mess she was. "Listen Stevie. I care an awefull lot about ya. We were both scared to death, I'm really sorry it had to end this way, but at least you're ok."
She just stood there, staring at him and suddenly realised it wasn't about jail, or about the trial. The main thing was that they had made it safe and sound.
Nick yelled for his brother, but Alex didn't look away he stayed with Stevie. "Just a minute Nick." He replied and kept looking at his best friend. He reached out his hand to wipe away her tears.
"I wouldn't know what to do without you Stevie..." Stevie frowned and waited, it was obvious that he wasn't finished talking.
But then Nick called his brother again, it sounded urgent, which made Stevie look at him, she startled and looked back at Alex. She grabbed the hand that just comforted her, to put it down, with her thumb she slowly caressed his hand and said. "The police is here."
"Alex Ryan?" The young officer called walking straight towards him. "I'm afraid you have to come with us."
The other officer walked with his colluege and had a set of handcofs in his hands. He immideately grabbed both of his hands. "Alex Ryan, we're arresting you for the murder of Leo Coombes." Alex was devestated but he felt numb, he just stood there and let it happen.
Stevie started to cry and watched him as they took him to the car.
Alex tried to calm her down. "It's alright Stevie. Think about what I just said." The others came to look what was going on, Nick couldn't believe what he saw, he got sad. But he stayed closely with Tess and they all just watched Alex leave with the police.
… … …
After a quick brake every one continued working, they didn't talk much but just finished the job and when all the work was done they headed home. Stevie stayed outside the house and went working in the shed. After a coffee brake Tess came to see how she was doing.
"Are you ok?" She softly asked, waiting in the doorway.
Stevie stood there, with her back towards her friend. She nodded while she softly cried.
Tess walked in and stood still next to Stevie, she noticed her tears and put her arm around her. "You're not ok at all."
With reluctance Stevie turned towards her and when they looked at each other she burst out in tears, Tess embraced her.
After a while she offered. "Let's get you inside hey? I'll make you some hot choco."
"I don't want anything."
Tess caressed her back while they started walking. "Well you can't stay outside all night, we've had a busy day and I want to spend time with you. Baby Claire almost needs her bottle and I would love it if you fed her."
A tiny smile appeared on her face when she dried her cheeks with her sleeve. "She's so cute." She sniffed.
"Yep, she takes after her mum." Tess replied, they both laughed and walked to the house.
All the other girls were not there, Jodi and Kate were watching a movie, Moira had a meeting and Regan was upstairs, busy with the laundry.
… … …
Feeding baby Claire calmed Stevie, she stared at the baby and enjoyed those sweet heart warming sounds. "She so precious Tess."
Tess sat across her on the couch, she took a deep breath. "Yeah isn't she. I'm still overwhelmed by this unconditional love I have for her."
They both were quietly observing the beautiful tiny baby girl. When Stevie held her up to let her burp, Tess asked straightforwardly.
"You're still in love with him, aren't you?"
It surprised Stevie a bit, but she had no troubles to be honest with Tess. "Yes I guess I am. I though it would pass..."
Tess widely smiled, which surprised Stevie even more and she responded to that. "In case you've forgotten, he's married."
Tess now looked serious. "Then why do I have this strong feeling that something happened between the two of you."
Stevie felt her cheeks burn, she had never told Tess about the kiss, she lied. "Oh a lot has happened, but not thát."
Tess sighed. "Have you ever told him how you really feel?"
"Nope."
"Why didn't you? Don't you think he has the right to know? I mean, he's your best friend."
"I learned that sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut."
Folding her arms Tess replied. "But what if you had told him?"
Suddenly Stevie snapped, still feeling hopeless about it. "Tess? He left when I wanted to tell him. And then he came back with her! Engaged."
Her friend wasn't impressed. "You know what Nick said after a week, when they were in Argentina for their honeymoon?" She paused. "He said: I give 'm two years. They won't last longer."
Stevie was amazed by her husband judgement, Tess added "I was mad at him for that, but he explained later. When we were back at the house Nick said; 'I know my brother very well and this is just not his type of woman. Besides, he's unhappy.' ...I thought that was weird, I mean they were newly weds."
Sarcastically Stevie responded. "Interesting. If he ever leaves her, I'll tell him everything. That's if I'm not ending up in jail ofcourse."
Tess shook her head, but still tried to get her out of her negative thougts. "What if he's one step ahead of you?"
"What? Tess, don't try to sooth me by giving me hopes. It's not realistic."
Suddenly the baby burped very loud, they both laughed.
"And she's got that from Nick." Tess dryly said.
Stevie smiled, but then her face became more serious. "Look, when Alex married Fiona, I tried to move on. I don't want to stirr in a good marriage."
Tess pulled up her eyebrows. "A good marriage?"
"Ok they didn't start to well, but they're trying to make it work."
"And they won't succeed." Tess said, very sure of herself.
"Tess I can't believe you just said that. What are you trying to tell me? Go for it? My chances are gone and I might be going to jail. Besides I don't want to be his second choice."
Tess seemed to have an explantaion to everything tonight: "You never were a choice, because he never saw you as an option."
"Tess? You were away for a long time, a lot has happened...I'm going to jail and he's already in it."
Tess broke the tension and teased her "Then it's going to be very cosey in jail."
All of a sudden Stevie stood up and passed the baby over to Tess. She was done and felt a headache coming.
"Where are you going?" Tess asked.
Stevie sighed. "To bed, I'm tired." She pressed her hand against her forhead.
"I'm sorry Stevie. Please stay with me a little longer."
"Ok but not a word about Alex." She sat down again.
But Tess wasn't going to stop that easily. "Just one more thing. This conversation you've had this afternoon..."
Stevie tried to look serious, but inside she was laughing. "No, I don't want to hear it."
It was quiet for a while, Tess was hoping to hear more about it, while Stevie was leaning back, rubbing her face. The only sounds to be heard were from sweet baby Claire.
… … …
"Ok" Stevie suddenly said, Tess pricked up her ears.
"I think he was about to tell me how he really feels. Just before the police showed up he said he really cares about me. But anyone could say that right?"
Tess wondered. "What does it mean to you?"
"It means a lot to me, but on the other hand it makes me so insecure, when he left he mentioned to think about what he'd said."
Tess widely smiled.
Stevie got confused. "What is this anyway? Do you know more about it?"
Right at that moment she broke the promise she had made to Nick. "Let's say I know. I know that he loves you."
Totally flabbergasted while tears filled up her eyes, she looked at Tess with her eyes wide open. She wanted to speak but couldn't get one word out. Tess stood up to sit beside her.
Full of understanding she lay her hand on Stevie's back and whispered. "Hey...I didn't mean to upset you." With her other hand she was carefully rocking the baby.
Stevie looked up, she cried when she looked in Tess her eyes.
Tess also had tears in her eyes. "He told Nick."
… … …
A few days later every one was busy for the welcome home party of Nick and Tess, they announced to stay at least one month. Tess insisted to stay until the trial was over, to support Stevie and to help out on the farm. Nick was determined to help and support Alex for a while.
In the meantime while everyone was preparing things for the party Stevie was upset about throwing a party now that Alex was in jail. And she was yelling at Tess about it in the kitchen. Regan was there too.
"It's not fair to do it now, you can't do this to him!"
Regan was busy making lunch and turned. "I agree with Stevie."
"But we don't know how long it takes and we already invited people."
"So?! Call 'm off."
"No we can't do that." Tess refused.
Stevie walked away, she was so upset. "I'm going to talk to Nick about this. How on earth can you throw a party when your one and only beloved brother is in jail!?" When she left Tess started to talk to Regan to explain things.
"Ok listen, you've got to play along, it's a surprise. They've released Alex today, Nick picked him up and brought him home."
Regan was confused about it. "Well that's one hell of a surprise. First you upset her and then...You really think she will be happy about it?"
"Just trust me." She assured her.
… … …
"Nick it isn't fair! You should wait until he gets home."
Nick was very calm about it. "Look I visited him, he was all right with it."
"Of course he's al-right with it, he's depressed!"
Stevie shook her head, she just couldn't believe it and walked away. Working was the only way to clear her mind. But she decided for herself that she wouldn't be on the party. It just wasn't a party without Alex.
… … …
The party started at 7 o' clock and slowly people were arriving at Drovers Run. Regan decided to check on Stevie, who was upstairs, hiding in her room. She opened the door. "Knock knock. Are you coming downstairs?"
She obviously was still angry. "No."
"Come on let's do it for Nick and Tess. It's their party."
But Stevie kept her mouth shut and bend her head.
Regan sat down on the bed next to her. "Please Stevie, come with me, just for a while."
"I said no. I am not going to play happy family's."
Another person knocked on the door, Regan stood up and walked away, when she opened the door Stevie yelled to whoever it was behind the door. "Just leave me alone ok!"
It was quiet for a moment, but then she heard footsteps. "You should know who's knocking, before you start yelling."
Her whole face lightened up. "Alex?" She jumped up from the bed and ran into his arms. "Oh I'm so glad you're back." She said while pushing her head against his chest.
"Me too. Now where's that party?" She looked up to him and saw this wide smile on his face. He was so calm, it felt unreal.
"Are you ok?" She asked, to check.
"I'm fine. I'm a free man now. They said our statements perfectly matched, so thank you."
A smile appeared on her face. "That's good. I'm very happy to hear that."
"Yeah, we should drink on that."
She frowned but then smiled. "As long as it's not whiskey hey"
Alex rubbed his hands out of excitement. "So what are we waiting for? Nick and Tess wanted to surprise you with my homecoming."
But doubts suddenly filled her heart. "I'm still not feeling well. I don't think I can't handle surprises any more." She lowered herself onto the bed and looked depressed. Alex sat down beside her.
"To bad..."
Now she frowned and stared in his eyes.
"I have another surprise for you." he said.
Stevie shook her head. "I'm sorry Alex, I can't do this. Things have changed between us."
"Hey I've got every right to party. And I need you to party with me."
Stevie sighed. "Ok you go downstairs and enjoy the party. You don't need me and I might be going to jail. Go on with your life as it is, I just want you to be happy. With Fiona."
Now Alex frowned and shook his head. "Please tell me you didn't mean that." He grabbed her hand. "Remember what I said to you right before I got arrested?"
"Yeah I know...But whatever happened happened, it's not the right time, it never was and now it's to late. We should stop being this close...you have made your choice and I don't want to stir in your marriage." She pulled back her hand which he was holding.
"You know? Jail was awful, the hearings took every bit of energy I had left in me. I had a breakdown and then right after that, something changed within me. I guess a wall needs to be torn down completely before you can start building again." He paused and saw she listened but didn't get the message yet.
"I regained my inner strength and promised myself a few things. One of them is to listen to my brother more often. He said I had to listen to my heart and let go of the past. Easier said then done, right?" He smiled.
"Listen, Nick and Tess are here for a reason. I got home early this afternoon and did what I had to do. Now I'm ready to make a new start. From now on I'm a free man."
Stevie nodded. "Yeah...you just told me."
He saw she still didn't get it, he loved it because it would be a surprise even more. He moved a bit closer towards her and grabbed her hand again.
"You still don't get it...I meant I'm really free: I'm single again." He moved his eyebrows and smiled. "I got home earlier today and did what I had to do. Fiona left to her parents and she won't come back. I'm 'unofficially' not married any more." He showed his hand, the wedding ring was now gone.
Her heart skipped a beat, did she hear it well?! She was speechless and just stared at him.
He flirted "But hey, my guess is that I won't be single very long."
And before she could think of all the negative things and before she would start talking about the trial which was coming, he didn't hesitate and pressed his lips onto hers and kissed her with passion and with all the love he felt for her. Alex didn't care and wasn't afraid any more. He knew he had made the right decision and boy, did it feel good! He deepened the kiss and Stevie of course answered his tender and passionate kiss. They had their own party in there.
THE END.
