Chapter 10
The mantel clock chimed midnight and Adam tried to ignore it. He sat by the dying fire in the living room with a brandy in his hand hoping to chase the ghosts out of his head. The faces of Charlotte and Jason kept circling in his thoughts. A knife, a gun, laughter, anger, blood everywhere. Adam got up to pace the room for what seemed like the hundredth time. He finished his brandy and set the glass down. Sitting again he massaged his left thigh, wondering why it was taking so long to heal.
He wanted to yell, to pound something, but then he just wanted a good night's sleep. He couldn't figure out why the dreams had turned into nightmares, or why they seemed to be getting worse in the last few weeks. He felt like running; he had to get away from the demons in his head. Grabbing his hat and gun belt, and a handful of matches from the lampstand, he left the house. Riding always seemed to clear his mind.
This night Adam knew exactly where he was going. After giving Sport his head, Adam finally reined him in near town. Slowly riding down a side street he found himself staring at the old Tucker shack. After dismounting, he walked across the street and stood in the doorway. The moonlight played off the broken furniture and shattered door scattered across the floor. Images and voices filled his head as he remembered that terrible afternoon. He swore he'd destroy this shack and with it all the ghosts and memories.
Without a second thought to what he was doing he retrieved the matches from his shirt pocket. He struck one off the rotting wood of the door frame. Before he could toss the match his eyes landed on the place where Emily had fallen. He couldn't move, an anger was filling his body and taking control. As the flame singed his fingers, he dropped the spent match. Taking a step closer Adam's foot kicked a rusted poker for the fireplace. Picking it up, he began to swing it hard in all directions. Venting his rage he shattered the remains of the furniture, the windows and finally an entire wall. As the rotting structure began to cave in on itself, Adam escaped into the street. He fell to the ground, coughing and gasping for a clean breath after the dust cleared from the destroyed shack. Exhaustion claimed him as he passed out.
A warm, wet nose pushed at Adam's face. He opened his eyes and found he was nose to nose with Sport. Pushing up onto his hands and knees, Adam looked around. The street was still deserted but the moon had shifted toward the west. Dawn was not far behind. Feeling his muscles shake he managed to get up and mount his horse. He took one last dispassionate look at the destroyed shack, then turned Sport toward home.
Reaching home just as a faint glow tickled the eastern sky, Adam took care of his horse then entered his home and stretched out on the sofa. He drifted off into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.
Around dawn, Elsa came in to check the fire and found Adam sleeping deeply. She pulled a blanket out of a drawer and carefully laid it over him, then returned to the kitchen to start breakfast. She knew he hadn't been able to sleep well for quite a while but didn't know why. She decided to speak to Hoss about it later that day.
Adam awoke to sounds coming from the kitchen. Surprised to find a blanket over him, he quietly got up, put it away and went upstairs to get ready for the day. He hoped he could finish before Emily woke up but his moving around the room roused her from a light sleep.
"Adam, it's so early." She noticed he was already dressed. "Where are you going?"
"Nowhere. I was awake so I figured I'd get up. Go back to sleep. I'll come get you when breakfast is ready." He turned and walked out before Emily could respond.
Emily sank back into her pillows. She felt the baby move and push against her ribs. Rubbing the spot gently she tried to figure out why Adam had become so distant with her. He was easily distracted, unreasonable in discussions, and angry at odd times. And his agitation at Joe's business proposal the night before made no sense. She knew he wasn't sleeping well but felt there had to be another reason behind all of his negative emotions.
Knowing she would not get anymore rest she got up and dressed. Downstairs she found Adam leaning against the window near the table with his cup held in midair. She quietly approached him and ran her hands over his shoulders. Her touch startled him and he almost spilled his coffee. Turning, he set his cup down and headed to the kitchen.
"I'll let Elsa know to bring breakfast in."
Emily sat down, deflated. Usually any gentle touch would bring Adam around and close to her. She became determined to find out what was bothering Adam.
After Elsa cleared the breakfast dishes away, Emily sipped her tea while Adam looked at the recent newspaper. She had to tell Adam something and knew she was treading on dangerous ground but it had to be said.
"Adam, I need to mention something to you. Yesterday, Jake brought a note from Hiram. He needs to speak to me about a difficult contract we worked on last May. He..."
Adam threw the paper down and stood up over Emily. "NO! You are not going to town. You just got out of weeks of bed rest and Paul said for you to continue to rest."
Emily stood up to meet Adam's dark eyes. "Hiram knows I can't travel. He's willing to come here. It's very important. The client wants some changes made and will be here next week. They want to see the contracts with the changes by then. All I need to do is read through what we have written and look at the changes. That's all Adam. I don't understand why you are so against me doing this for Hiram. Please tell me?"
"I said no, and that's final Emily. Don't push me on this."
"Adam, you're being unreasonable. I've already sent a note back. I have to do this for him. He'll come out here tomorrow. It should only take an hour or so."
Adam stepped closer to Emily and grabbed her by the shoulders. For the first time in their marriage she saw fury in his eyes. She tried to back away making Adam drop his hands and turn his back on her. She watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists, his back muscles tensing under his shirt. Stepping away from the dining room, Adam suddenly realized Joe was standing by the door.
"What are you doing here? Don't I have any privacy even in my own home? Get out Joe, I have nothing to say to you."
"Adam I'm sorry. I knocked but I guess you didn't hear me with all your yelling. I came to straighten out the confusion from last night over the horse breeding. I was hoping…"
"I've got nothing to say to you about that or anything else." Adam stormed past Joe, shoving him aside, and grabbing his gun belt and hat. "Be gone when I get back."
Joe stared at the closed door then turned back to Emily. He took a step toward her and she ran to his open arms. "Joe, I don't know what's gotten into him. I'm so scared. He's changed so much in the last few weeks. Please go after him, bring him home. Please?"
"I will. But first are you alright? He didn't hurt you did he?"
Emily stood back and dried her eyes. "No, Joe. I'm fine. Please go get him."
"Alright. But I'm going to Pa's first and ask him to come stay with you." Joe gently touched her damp cheek. "Don't worry. I'll find him and bring him home."
"Thank you." She wrapped her arms around herself as she watched Joe leave. Elsa came out of the kitchen and put her arm around Emily. "Don't worry. Adam'll be alright. You'll see."
Emily leaned into her friend and nodded. She was glad she wasn't alone in this.
After Joe had alerted his father and Hoss to the situation he took off heading north across the pasturelands. Jake had heard Adam mumble something about checking his herd so Joe figured he could reach him at a stream not too far away. It was a good place to catch Adam before he got to the herd.
He stopped under the trees to let Cochise graze. Soon Joe saw his brother riding up. Joe stepped out from the shadows causing Adam to rein in Sport hard.
"What the hell are you doing? That was a stupid thing to do, I nearly ran into you."
"Well, it got your attention at least."
Adam glared down at his brother. Joe saw him gathering the reins in preparation to ride off but Joe grabbed Sport's bridle and held him still.
"Adam we need to talk so you might as well get down and let's get this over with."
Adam dismounted, dropped the reins and shoved Joe backwards. "I'll thank you to stay out of my personal business with my wife."
Joe drew himself up to his full height and glared back at his brother with hands on his hips. "I'll stay out of your business when it doesn't affect all of us! I came over this morning to apologize about last night and to try to explain. I hadn't told anyone about the business proposal with the horses. Not even Hoss. He thought I was buying that stallion for Pa's herd. I wanted to surprise you. I want to work with you and I think we can be successful as partners. But before that can happen you've got to come clean and tell me what the devil has gotten into you."
Adam's stance had become more defensive as Joe talked. Joe's words had hit him hard but he wasn't willing to admit that just yet. All he wanted was to be left alone to sort things out.
"Nothing's gotten into me. I'm fine. Now leave me alone so I can check on my herd." He turned to mount up but Joe grabbed his arm.
"Oh no you don't. Adam, something's eating at you and I want you to tell me what it is before it destroys you. Pa says you're surly with everyone and I surely didn't like what I saw when I walked into your house. Emily is scared. Not of you but for you, brother, so start talking. I've got all the time in the world." Joe crossed his arms and stared at his brother's back. Adam stood with his hands on his saddle seething at every word Joe said.
Having had enough of Joe, Adam let out a yell and back-handed his brother, knocking him to the ground. Reaching down he pulled Joe up by his shirt and swung again. Joe ducked that one and managed to work free from Adam's vise-like grip. He defended himself from Adam's assault but refused to fight back.
After a long while, Joe was nearly exhausted but Adam kept coming at him with both fists. Joe couldn't take anymore. He pulled back his left arm and let it sail into the side of Adam's face. Adam's head snapped back sending him reeling away from Joe. Off balance and stumbling sideways himself, Joe reached out with his right arm to stop his fall. He had too much momentum and fell awkwardly on his arm. He felt the bone in his lower arm snap. Unable to stop his cry of pain he collapsed face down in the grass as he fought to remain conscious.
Joe's punch to Adam's head and his cry of pain suddenly brought Adam to his senses. With the world spinning around him, he shook his head to clear it but that only made things worse. Adam looked around to find the source of the cry. Seeing Joe laying on the ground Adam crawled over to him. Fear and guilt tore through his mind recalling another time when his younger brother was injured at his hand.
"Oh God, Joe. Joe? I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Joe, speak to me." Adam carefully rolled his brother over and saw the injured arm, blood and bone visible through the skin.
"Adam... don't worry...I'm fine...get...help." Joe tried to smile through his pain.
Adam took Joe's arm in his hands and tried to reset the bone but he had no strength left after the fight. Not wanting to make his brother suffer anymore he gently rested the injured arm on the ground. Dropping down beside Joe he let his head fall into his hands. "Joe, forgive me. I couldn't handle it. The nightmares, the fear of losing Emily and the baby. I couldn't even keep her safe. I don't deserve her…"
"Adam. Wh-what are you...t-talking about?" Joe was trying his best to suppress his pain so he could talk.
"Charlotte. The kidnapping and her threats. God Joe. It brought back all the memories of when I found Emily after Jason nearly killed her. You didn't see her Joe. She was terrified of me. She tried to get away, she was so afraid that Jason would see me and kill me. It broke my heart to see her that way. And just when we finally relaxed and thought it was over, Charlotte arrived and what she did in that shack, she toyed with us, tortured us. She fired her gun straight at Emily but it was empty. She laughed at our reactions. Then she loaded it and kept moving around the room. We never knew what she would do next. She couldn't keep a coherent thought going. After it ended, I started having nightmares. I couldn't sleep but I didn't want Emily to know. I was so afraid she'd get upset and lose the baby."
Adam looked at Joe with such sorrow and fear, Joe almost looked away. He'd never seen his brother so distraught.
"The longer it went on the harder it was to try to talk about it so I did what I could to hide it and hoped it would all go away. I guess I became blind to what I was doing to Emily and everyone else. Now look what I've done. You're hurt because of me." Adam looked away.
Joe reached up to put his good hand on Adam's leg. "Adam, I'll be ok. If this is what it takes to get you back then it's worth it. But listen we need some help. Why don't you use your pistol and see if anyone is nearby."
Adam looked blankly at Joe then nodded slowly as what Joe had said sunk in. With unsteady hands he pulled his gun out and, using both hands, fired three shots into the air. After a few seconds two shots were heard. A few minutes later another shot was heard, closer, and Adam fired back. Shortly after, two of Adam's hands rode up and were stunned to see the brothers laid out on the ground, battered and bloody.
"What in th' world happened ta you two?" Tip dismounted and ran over to them.
"I knocked some sense into my brother." Joe replied with a grimace.
Tip looked skeptical. "You sure it wadn't th' other way 'round, Joe?"
"Look Tip if you can help tie my arm close to me I can ride back to Adam's house. One of you can go for the doctor."
Adam tried to stand, but only made it to his knees as dizziness took hold again. Johnny, the other drover, grabbed hold of his boss to steady him. "I don't think either of you will be able to ride. At a walk that's at least a couple hours' ride, maybe more. I best go get the wagon and bring it back."
Adam looked at Joe, both agreeing, "No, we'll ride. One of you can ride with us and the other go get Doc Martin."
Not comfortable with the idea, Johnny knew enough not to argue with Adam. "Okay, you're the boss. I'll get the horses ready." After a half hour of tying down Joe's arm and struggling to get both men on their horses, Johnny set off with them as Tip headed to town. It was a rough ride but it got them home more quickly than waiting for a wagon. For Adam and Emily that was a good thing.
