"Tasya! Tasya, come here!" a Deralian woman with blue eyes and a bright smile exclaimed with a hand extended towards her daughter.
Tasya giggled and ran to her mother, grinning as she was swept up into her mother's arms. Her mother tried to hold her close for a minute, but Tasya was excited and pushed herself back a little bit. A new load of animals had just arrived for her father's menagerie, and the little girl had always loved the creatures. Every time they came, they had exotic colors and patterns, and most often, they could sing. Her father always did love animals whose noises were as beautiful as they were.
"Look at that one!" Her mother pointed out a large animal with a strange combination of feathers, scales, and fur, whose coloring was bright blue, viridian, and burnt orange. Tasya's mouth dropped and she wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and hugged her tightly.
The creature's large beak and bulbous, reflective black eyes scared the child, and she drew comfort from her mother's presence. "Its scawy," she murmured softly, and her mother smiled as she gently bounced the little girl.
"No, really, it isn't honey. Look at all of the pretty colors. See how they all blend together, even though they are so different? Mommy would love to paint this one," her mother told the girl in an attempt to keep her from fear, and she succeeded.
"His colows are pwetty," Tasya admitted, raising her head just enough so that she could see the animal. Then, suddenly, her fear vanished. "Mama! Can I paint wif you?" she asked, her little forehead bunched with worry.
The woman laughed. "Of course, Punkin," the woman replied, and the little girl wriggled with excitement. Suddenly, she felt her mother stiffen, and turned her head.
Her father and his good friend Marne were walking up the path, obviously coming to see the animals too. Tasya looked between her mother and father, and felt torn. Her father didn't speak to her much, but she loved him as every little girl loves her father. However, she instinctively knew that neither her mother nor father liked each other. And Marne… Tasya wasn't quite sure what to make of him.
Her father nodded a greeting to her mother, but ignored Tasya. The little girl felt an ache rising in her chest, and she clung to her mother, closing her eyes tightly. When she opened them again, Marne was looking at her, smiling. It wasn't a very nice smile, the little girl thought. He didn't really look like he was very happy.
Her mother noticed Marne's gaze as well, and her arms tightened protectively around her youngest child. "If you'll excuse me," the woman told her husband as she bowed her head submissively, as a good wife aught to. Her father flicked his wrist, and her mother hurried away. Tasya frowned slightly, and looked up at her mother.
"Mama?"
Aminta stopped midst ride, and braced herself against a wall. Before she had become a Jedi, memories would occasionally come to her, but never like that. Never so that she was actually there. But now that she was a Jedi… Aminta pushed the thoughts from her head, and continued walking resolutely towards the Hawk.
This is all Bastila's fault. I haven't heard that name in years. Years! Not since Kael… Aminta pushed all thoughts of the man that she had loved from her mind as an aching sorrow descended over her. …I didn't even let Oded call me that. Not even when we were alone.
Once again, a sense of loss overcame her as she thought about her brother- the one that had died with the three little girls on Taris. On his honeymoon. Whoever would have thought that Oded would get married. He used to have a different girl on his arm every day! the thought with a smile. Then, she closed her eyes and grimaced, feeling foolish for thinking about her past at all.
Bastila, I'm going to kill you, Aminta vowed, increasing her pace as she entered the hangar. She felt her anger simmering as she bounded up the ramp, nearly knocking over Mission in the process.
"Ami! Ami, you're okay!" the girl exclaimed as she regained her footing, and then threw her arms around Aminta's neck. Caught by surprise, Aminta stumbled backwards before catching herself. "It was taking so long I thought you were in trouble for sure!" the teenager cried out, and Aminta gently extracted herself from the girl's embrace.
"Easy, Mish. They couldn't have done anything to me."
Mission's eyes widened. "No?"
Aminta managed a smile despite her foul mood. "No. There wasn't any evidence that I did anything."
Mission's brows scrunched together. "The court told you that?"
"No."
Mission's face contorted in confusion, and another, slightly wider smile broke through Aminta's anger.
"I told them that. They had no choice but to agree and let me go. Now if you'll excuse me…" the woman said, sidestepping the teenager and entering the Hawk.
The girl frowned after Aminta's retreating back and then she sighed. "Big Z, let's go!" Mission called into the ship. "I'm starving!"
The Wookie nodded to Aminta as he passed her in the Common room in his rush to reach the exit ramp. Aminta barely even noticed him, and she continued on her way to the Women's dormitories. T-3 attempted to greet her, but she held out a hand and kept walking, leaving a confused droid in her wake.
Reaching her destination, Aminta flung open the door, startling Bastila out of her meditation. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" she demanded, striding inside and slamming the door shut behind her.
Bastila caught her breath, and smoothed her tunic unconsciously, fighting to maintain her serene image although she was laced with shock. "I don't…"
"Don't play dumb with me. You know what I'm talking about!" Aminta shouted, her fists bunching at her sides. "You had no right-"
"I had every right!" Bastila interrupted, her voice a bit too heated to sound like the perfect Jedi image that she had attempted to cultivate. "You were falling, or didn't you realize it? Do you know what-"
"If I fall, its my business, not yours!"
"It is so my damn business!" Bastila shouted, and then she flushed crimson. Aminta fell into a shocked silence and stared at the woman with her mouth agape. To hear Carth curse was one thing, to hear Canderous was expected. But Bastila… Aminta stared at the woman with wide eyes, and Bastila fidgeted under her gaze.
"If you fall, you take Juhani with you. And that is two more Jedi on Malak's side. Do you remember what Malak did? Do you want to serve under him?" Bastila continued quietly, attempting to keep what little remained of her dignity intact.
Aminta's eyes widened, and then narrowed. "Exactly how much do you know about me?" she asked after a minute, and Bastila dropped her gaze.
"More than you know," she murmured softly under her breath, and Aminta felt goose bumps begin to rise on her arms. A sense of the newfound precognition washed over her, and raised her defenses.
"What?" she asked, her voice sharp.
At length, Bastila lifted her clear, blue-gray eyes to meet Aminta's. "Everything," she replied, her voice still soft.
"How?" Aminta's voice was cold, and Bastila felt a touch of fear as she looked at the older woman.
Once again, Bastila's eyes dropped to the floor. "When we came to you with the offer of dropping all charges against you in return for your service in the Republic Military, we had done our research. We know all about your life, Tasya, Aminta, Re… whatever you want to be called." Bastila stumbled over the lie, but then again, she knew from the start that this mission would be full of them.
Aminta blinked, and then shook her head. "That's impossible. My ties are untraceable. At least the ties back to my birth family," she replied, her brows furrowing.
"Not for the Jedi."
Aminta felt her breaths come in quick gasps as she panicked. "Then you know about…and…about…" for once, the woman's facade of strength was stripped bare, and Bastila realized for the first time what Aminta was. A lonely woman who, when all pretenses were gone, was little more than a scared child.
And then, Bastila felt her heart warm towards the woman, could understand for the first time why she fell. Gently, she placed her hand on Aminta's shoulder, and when Aminta's head jerked up, Bastila managed to give her a slight smile. "I'll keep your secrets," she said softly, and then withdrew her arm.
Aminta frowned, and then nodded slowly before swiftly leaving the room.
——————————————————-
"Juhaini!" Aminta exclaimed, a hand flying to her chest as Juhani's form came out of the darkness. Juhani jumped at the cry, and then she quickly settled herself. "Gods, you scared me," Aminta breathed. "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that!"
"I am sorry," Juhani replied softly, turning away from Aminta and heading back towards the women's dormitories. For all that the woman had done for her, Juhani still felt uncomfortable in her presence. Aminta reminded her of… someone whom she had loved greatly, long before Quatra.
"Oh, Ju, before you go," Aminta's words intercepted Juhani's exit, and the Cathar turned back around almost reluctantly. "Zalbaar said that some of our food went missing from the Cargo hold. And I've been hearing these footsteps…" she paused, and then shrugged. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"
Juhani was silent for a moment. "I believe that you are very tired. I assume that you did not sleep while in custody of the Selkath, and you have not stopped moving since you have returned to the Ebon Hawk. Perhaps after you rest, you will no longer hear things."
Aminta frowned, but nodded. "And the food?"
Juhani gave a graceful shrug of her shoulders. "Perhaps Canderous has eaten some. Or the Twi'lek. Or perhaps it was miscalculated how much we have on board."
"Maybe," Aminta murmured, chewing on her lip.
"Aminta," Juhani interrupted the woman's wandering mind. "Get some sleep," she advised, and then turned away before walking to the hallway that led to the women's dormitories.
Once she was gone, Aminta sighed and rubbed her temples. "I'm not hearing things," she muttered to herself. "I'm not; I never do." Then, she ran a hand over her face and gave a short laugh. "I'm talking to myself now. Gods."
With that, she turned abruptly and headed towards the galley, where Bastila had a vast assortment of teas on hand. Supposedly, there was a kind somewhere in there that helped to induce sleep… Aminta sifted through the boxes filled with herbs and cursed. If only I'd paid attention to this stuff when Vi tried to teach me…
Vitaria Niele had been gifted with many things, interior design being one thing, and writing another. Quite often, Aminta had stayed up late at night reading one of the mystery novels that her friend had written. However, the woman's passion had been gardening, and she had a vast assortment of herb in the plot of soil allotted to her. She had loved making tea with the herbs she had grown, and had attempted to introduce Aminta to that love. Aminta had resisted, and now she wished that she hadn't.
Giving up, Aminta pushed the small tins back with disgust. She then rubbed her hands over her face with a groan, and leaned against the small countertop. Like you'd be able to sleep anyway? The nightmares have been gone for a while, but with these vision's you've been having… Give it up, Jae. With that thought, she pushed herself away from the counter and exited the galley.
She made her way up the hall, and headed towards the cockpit. At least there she could tinker with things; she would have gone to the garage to play with the engine a bit more, but she didn't feel like showering this late at night. The door was open, and Aminta noted wryly that Carth was still in the pilot's chair. He was snoring gently, and that sound combined with the familiar beeping of the consoles was somehow comforting.
Aminta took her place in the co-pilot's chair, drawing her knees close to her chest. She took care to be quiet, afraid that she would wake Carth. Once it seemed that he was in a relatively deep sleep, Aminta stared out the window and allowed her feet to plop to the floor.
The view was magnificent during the day, when the waves crashed against the strong walls of Ahto City and the sun streamed down over the ocean, making the waves sparkle and dance. At night, however, Everything was black. It would have been soothing to hear the crash of the waves- It was the sound that Aminta associated with home. The cliffs on Deralia were magnificently high, and the waves had pounded relentlessly against them just as they did against the walls of Ahto City. However, a thick pane of plastiglass separated her from the ocean, so she was unable to hear it.
Aminta closed her eyes and rested her head back against the seat with a sigh. Deralia… I was so young when I left home. I shouldn't even remember half the things that I do. Maybe it was the force. Maybe I had it even then, and that is what made me remember everything…
"Hey Beautiful," Carth mumbled from his position in his chair, a yawn punctuating his statement.
Aminta opened her eyes and lifted her head so that she could see him. "Hey flyboy. Did I wake you up?"
Carth shrugged, and stifled another yawn. "S'okay," he replied, his words slurred with sleep. "What're you doin' here?" he asked after he had forced himself awake, and Aminta shrugged.
"Couldn't sleep. I always did like the cockpit on nights like that."
"When you were smuggling?"
Aminta spared him a small smile. "Yeah."
Carth nodded and then yawned again. The cockpit once again descended into silence, and Aminta leaned her head back once more. The minute her eyes closed, her mind was assailed with images. The high cliffs and foamy waters; a sky of gorgeous, endless blue in the summertime; Fields so green and bright the grass nearly looked fake with its intensity… The tree with her initials engraved on it, the bench where her mother had told her stories…
Mama, Aminta thought, and her eyes squeezed closed. What are you doing now? Do you still think about me? I think about you. I try so hard not to, but… I could never forget you. I don't blame you Mama, not at all. You fought. I know that. Gods I know that…
"What are you thinking about?"
Aminta's eyes snapped open and she looked over to Carth, who was sitting up straight at this point. She debated whether or not she should lie, and then decided to tell the truth. "My mother."
Carth smiled. "I think we all tend to do that," he admitted, and Aminta smiled back at him.
"What's yours like?" she asked after a moment, and Carth grinned.
"Oh, you know, always too protective; too overbearing. The woman has a tongue as sharp as a vibroblade. She's got Dad running around in circles half the time," he joked, and Aminta laughed softly. "She's a good woman though; she loved Dustil, helped Morgana raised him when I was off at war." Carth's face darkened, and he shook his head. "What about yours?"
Aminta broke eye contact and she glanced out the window. "I wouldn't really know. I haven't seen her in twenty years." An uncomfortable silence settled over the ship as Carth remembered why exactly it had been so long since she had seen her family.
"But, from what I remember, she was a quiet woman. Submissive…and sad. I never found out why. Not even the servants knew what had happened to her. But she was beautiful, and her voice…" Aminta paused. "I can't carry a tune, but when my mother sang, you were moved to tears."
"It must have been hard," Carth said softly after a moment, and Aminta's eyes glazed. Furiously, she blinked back whatever tears might have surfaced.
"Yeah," she replied in the dead, toneless voice that Carth had come to associate with all things painful to the woman. Carth was silent again, and Aminta closed her eyes to ensure that she wouldn't cry. She felt his approach through the force, so she wasn't surprised when he leaned over the co-pilot's chair and gently held her. Aminta didn't resist; she knew Carth well. He wasn't like her father, or Marne, or Korvo. He would never hurt her. So, instead of resisting, Aminta leaned against his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Carth was taken aback for a moment. The only other time that she had even clung to him was when he had woken her from a nightmare. This was different. He knew that some of the conversations that he'd had with her had been painful, but she usually just shut herself off to emotion. That was when he realized that she must be very tired. If she were more awake, she would have left the cockpit by now.
With that revelation came another. Carth was exhausted. Since Aminta showed no sign of releasing him, Carth gently hooked an arm under her knees and lifted her up. Once again, he felt how slight her weight was and realized with dismay that the Selkath probably hadn't fed her much over the past three days. Any good that her eating had done her was now probably undone. But he wouldn't mention that now. Later. Definitely later.
Carth settled himself in the pilot's chair, and then lowered Aminta to his lap. Whereas normally, Aminta would have pulled away with a slight smile and taken her seat in the co-pilot's chair once again, she now rested her head on Carth's shoulder with a soft tired sigh. The position was comfortable for her, but one of Aminta's hairpins was digging into Carth's skin. Wincing, Carth shifted, causing Aminta to open her eyes and look up at him with a frown.
"How do you stand having those things in your hair?" he muttered, pulling the offending pin out and smiling with amusement as a dark curl fell out of the complicated knot to land just over Aminta's eye.
Aminta shrugged slightly. "I got used to it," she mumbled through a yawn as she plucked out several more pins, causing more ringlets to fall in various places about her head. Carth grinned through his own sleepiness at the sight, and then he helped her to remove the rest. Aminta was too tired to object.
Once they were all out, Carth handed the ones he held to Aminta, and she put them on the console. "Thanks," she mumbled, and then made herself comfortable against Carth's chest again. Carth smiled slightly down at her, and absently toyed with one of her curls as he leaned his head back with a yawn.
Aminta sighed softly with her eyes closed. Kael had done that, once upon a time. They'd often slept on the pilot's chair together, although her husband had often woken with a stiff neck when they did. It's amazing how similar Carth and Kael are. Kael was handsomer to be sure, but… "You're so much like him," Aminta murmured past a yawn as she started to drift off.
Carth frowned. "Who?" he asked, but Aminta was already asleep. After a moment, he realized what she was talking about, and he looked down at the woman with sad eyes. "You're a lot like her too," he mumbled under his breath, and then stared out the window into the blackness. Suddenly, he wasn't quite so tired anymore.
—————————————————————
"I'm heading over to Wann's. Who wants to come with?" Aminta asked early the next morning. The crew of the Hawk were assembled in the common room, and the scent of caffa hung heavily in the air. Mission mumbled something under her breath, and then wrapped her fuzzy pink bathrobe tighter about her.
"I'll go," Carth volunteered, and Aminta nodded.
"Anyone else?"
Canderous leered at Aminta from over the rim of him caffa mug. "Nah. Take Republic out for a night on the town. Little girls like him love that sort of thing." He smirked at Carth, and then took another sip of his drink. Mission giggled, then glared at Canderous, and then giggled again.
"Mandalorian…" Carth muttered through gritted teeth, and Aminta scowled at the pair. Bastila rolled her eyes and returned to the galley to make herself a fresh cup of herbal tea.
"Will you two act like adults? Please?" Aminta muttered, glancing between the two men.
"They're guys, remember? They'll never act like adults," Mission pointed out before taking another sip of her caffa and drawing her legs to her chest. Zalbaar cuffed the girl on the back of the head and roared indignantly.
Aminta rolled her eyes. "I might just go by myself," she muttered under her breath and Carth sighed.
"Come on, Beautiful. Let's get moving."
