Hello again, im glad that you are enjoying my story, and I apologize for cliff hangers, they are just too tempting. Anyway, yeah, this is gonna be another heavy chapter, so, warning. Also this one is on the lengthy side
Chapter starts from Angela's perspective
this night was different, and not in a good way, this night she felt the lowest she ever had, she didnt know if it was the constant loneliness she had this week, or how pathetic she felt because of how attached she was getting to Genji already. But this night she felt like a leech, she saw herself as something people could easily live without. Besides, its not like anyone really cared about her right? No one ever asked her how she felt, she didnt have any close friends that she could speak to, no one even went to eat with her in the mess hall. She ate alone
and she felt alone
god she couldnt stand herself, she felt like with all the failure she has 'caused' she just wasnt worth the time overwatch put into her, and this week jack wasnt here to keep her in check, neither was reinhardt, her two father figures gone off to a practically suicidal mission, fuck, not even Ana was here, who was her go to person when she felt like this, she used to be the one who held her and made her worries dissapear, she used to be the one who she could tell all her worries and quarrals
and now she was gone too
she felt like she was always so dependant on people, she could never just handle things by herself. She felt like she was only attaching herself to Genji because she didnt have anyone anymore. Ever since her parents died she had been like this, though since they died when she was 12 that was basically all her life. Right now she just felt like a burden. She couldnt stop herself from crying, she just hated what she was, right now she wished she had Ana, or Jack or Genji or anyone to comfort her.
"he thinks your annoying, your just going to be a burden to him, you always are"
"no one is going to miss you, all the other doctors here are better than you anyway, at least they dont fucking hate themselves"
she got up to go to the bathroom, following her routine as always, but this time her heart hurt more than it ever had, the sadder she got the more annoyed she got with herself because of how pathetic she felt, the cycle repeated itself and never stopped
she slipped her pants and top off, and retrieved the scalpel from her jean's pocket, she placed the scalpel on her scarred thigh.
And she sliced
"your fucking pathetic Angela"
she pressed the blade harder as she sliced again
"nobody wants to see you because your fucking useless!"
she sliced again
"I hope Genji just fucking tells me how clingy I am"
she couldnt hold back the crying, she started to cut her thighs at a more rapid pace as she let out louder cries. The tears falling from her face onto her thighs and mixing with the blood. Her mind started going to much darker places than it had before, she turned to look at the floor and then looked at the scalpel.
Then she looked at her wrist
what if she just killed herself? she certainly thought no one would even care, she wanted to. her life to was useless, and she just wanted to dissapear.
how could she even be thinking of doing this? Well, she felt like there was no one who would care, Reinhardt and jack would just get over her, they where used to loss in this line of work. Her mind then turned to a certain cyborg.
'what does he even think of me?'
she wondered
'probably nothing, I wouldnt be surprised, you arent worth his time anyway"
she couldnt hold it back anymore, she inhaled and closed her eyes
"you arent Worth anyones time Angela Ziegler!"
she shouted, much louder than expected.
She placed the scalpel on the middle of her wrist.
She was trembling so much, was she really about to do this? She wanted to leave this world so badly, she wanted to dissapear, but was she really going to?.
a thought then came from the darkest place in her mind, something telling her only one thing.
'pathetic'
with the adrenaline flowing through her veins and her heart pounding in her throat, she looked at her wrist and then at the mirror, looking over her gaunt body and bags under her eyes, her hair was messy from her nearly pulling parts of it out, she took a glance at her face. she went completely silent, her mind becoming black and tainted
'disgusting'
she pulled the blade over her wrist, pressing down and leading it from the front of her forearm to the back, all the way down. Blood immediately started pouring out from her wrist at an alarming pace.
Her body started becoming cold, her vision began to daze. Blood pooling on the bottom of the floor leading to the door
Then she heard a crash at her bathroom door.
%
(an hour earlier)
Genji was finishing his dinner, thinking to himself as he often did. He thought of how sweet revenge would be, killing every last single shimada, but tonight he was feeling rather uncomfortable with his body, people always stared when he was there, most soldiers at gibraltar called him cyborg or even sometimes tin can, sure he knew they werent doing it to spite him, and they where just joking around, but the comments still lingered in his head
'did they think of him like an omnic?'
genji wasnt against omnics or anything, but he still felt uneasy at the thought of being seen as one of them, he was human, he had always been human, but... was he still human? God it spuns his head just to think that. He felt very uncomfortable thinking that, but brushed his thoughts aside, he needed his rest, tommorow he was departing with Angela to commence his campaign against the shimada clan.
He began making his way back to his quarters, when he noticed how amazing a brisk the night was, the wind was blowing slowly, the stars where so clear and defined, and the trees and bushes rustled so calmy. he wanted to take in the full entirety of the night so he turned up his augmented senses to their highest allertness
(he could turn them down as to not be overwhelmed by noises and colors all the time)
but, as he turned them up, he started hearing something strange, when he turned them to their fullest potential. He heard crying, very labored crying, he could hear the pain in that persons voice.
'wait...?"
he recognized that crying, he had heard it before, twice already.
It was her
he started immediately seeking out the source of the crying, which wasnt too hard considering she had already shown him where her quarters where located. It was obvious they where coming from there.
Then they suddenly stopped, the crying went from intense waling to simple silence. He knew something was wrong, he felt it inside of him, no one just stops that immediately. rushing to her, he began using a gadget in his finger to pick the lock on the door, not bothering to knock. He had been trained in lockipicking during his training with the shimada, and even though this lock was quite expensive, he still had no trouble and picked it within seconds, he was a shimada after all. He knew what he was doing was wrong but he felt he needed to do something, he had seen the look she had on her face when he saw her. The way she would just make petty jokes about killing herself when they chatted seemed like nothing to anyone else, but he was worried, he saw her figure and how she didnt eat. He knew that she was sad deep inside. He had seen her cry and knew what was making her feel so bad.
As soon as he got into her quarters he looked around for her, noticing a light emitting from the restoom. He felt his heart sink when he saw the blood coming from beneath the door, his heart started rushing. Fearing for the worst he flung open the door to her bathroom, and felt his body panic at the sight he saw. There lay his gaurdian angel on the floor, blood pooling around her.
"ANGELA!"
he shouted in panic, what was he going to do? How would he help her? She seemed to be fading. one thought popped into his head
'he needed to save'
she turned her head to look at him, silent tears streaming down her face, with a soft and fading voice she choked out
"genji...im...im sorry..."
he couldnt let this happen, thinking back to his training from the shimada's he remembered they had given him a quick class on emergency situations. He looked around, in less than a second he took the hood she had laying on the sink and ripped a piece of it off, making haste he tied it around her arm and pulled tight, stopping the blood from flowing an more.
"please...just...leave me...i dont...deser...deserve...it"
ignoring what she said he quickly started looking around her room. She was a doctor, so she had to have something here right? He started flying through her cabinets, where he came up on a white metal box with a red cross on it. He felt some relief, at least she had something, he threw it open as he ran back to her in the restroom. The only thing he recognized was a small red inhaler, the same she had used on him when they first met. With all of his speed he took the inhaler and pressed it up into her mouth, squeezing it twice. He saw her body glow, and her eyes fly back open
thank god, he had finally stabilized her. She coughed heavily as she regained her senses, the bleeding from her arm and thighs stopping. He let out a sigh before grabbing her by her shoulders, and looking her dead in the eyes. She could only look down at the floor, to the pool of blood that lay under her.
"What where you thinking Angela?!"
the cyborg questioned, with an intense care in his voice. Her eyes teared up and she began crying again, she threw herself onto him and embraced him as tight as she could, Genji could only wrap his arms around her, relieved that she was still there with him. He could feel tears streaming down his face as well.
I guess he could cry after all. They sat there like that for what felt like an eternity, him just holding her, letting her cry into his chest. It was starting to become a ritual.
%
he came for her.
He saved her.
She felt stronger than before but she still felt weak, even then, she held onto him with everything she had. She never wanted to let go. Her heartache started to finally dissipate as she held onto him, crying into his chest even more. She felt that warmth again, she felt the saftey she did when he held her, she had never felt anything like it. They sat there for an hour as her crying began to wane. But she never stopped holding onto him. he had come for her, he had performed his own miracle, she felt her heart pulse as she let it all out, finally.
After they had both settled down and the last tears where dying down, he pulled away from her and removed his visor. As he was doing this she noticed the bloody tourniquet on the floor that he had made. Had he really done that?
'I guess he was more versed in first aid than I thought'
she turned to her savior, seeing the tears that had puddled under his eyes.
Had he really cried for her? Did he really care about her? she still found it tough to think someone would actually care about someone like her
He took her by her shoulders once more and looked directly into her eyes. That stare chilled her to her bones, she could see a flame in them, determination, she could see that he cared about her. Her heart sunk at the thought that she had made him cry.
"Angela what in the fuck where you thinking? Do you know how worried I was?!, how much I feared I had lost you!? You are my gaurdian angel Angela, My gaurdian Angela, I couldnt live with myself If you had killed yourself and I wasnt there to save you"
he looked at her body, and looked at her thighs, he looked so concerned. She felt her heart shake
"im...im sorry Genji... I really am, I just.. I felt so useless and guilty, my mind started thinking stupid things."
he put his hand on her cheek, and looked into her glowing blue eyes. He took her hand and said
"Angela, you have saved my life, and given me a new one, you have given me one of the best friends ive ever had and a beautiful one at that, because of this I will always be here for you, I will save you a thousand times over again if I have to, even though we havent known each other for very long, i already feel as if i know you like one of my closest friends. the moments we have shared together may have been brief, but they have been monumental, i have already grown to care about you so much. i see how pure your soul is and how you want to do nothing but help everyone, it has inspired me."
he looked down, and picked up her right forearm, a long deep cut running down the length of it.
"just, please, do not hurt yourself like this anymore?"
he looked into her eyes with a look of sincerity. She nodded and felt the tears running down her face again. She hugged him tightly and said
"i...i promise genji... im so sorry, I just felt so alone.. I felt as if nobody cared about me"
"so many people care about you Angela, ive spoken to so many members of overwatch and they all asked me if you where doing okay, they felt so bad that they could not see you, their work had kept them. Reinhardt even asked me to keep you safe, he seemed so concerned for you, all of the members I have spoken with did. i promised Reinhardt i would protect you with my life, and im going to keep that promise to him, not because he asked me, but because i cannot let the world go without and angel like you."
did they really care so much about her? did he really care that much about her? Her heart felt warm at the thought. She tried to stand up but felt herself too weak to, her body was still cold and her strength was still low. She was surprised when she felt arms under her legs, picking her up, she blushed slightly as Genji carried her to her bed like a princess, placing her gently down on the bed.
"genji there is no need, I couldve gotten up myself"
"now now Angela, I dont want you fainting again, and we need to seal those cuts up"
she sighed and looked at her savior
"i know, could you do me a favor and bring me that metal box Genji?"
he nodded and fetched the metal box, setting it upon the bed in front of her. She started working on her wounds stitching them and using her handheld healing device to fix any other things.
Genji began to wash the restroom, even to Angela's protest, but he insisted, after all, the shimada gang taught him how to clean up blood quite well.
After wounds had been sealed and blood had been cleaned he picked her up and brought her to the bathroom once more, this time she went in alone as to take a shower and wash the blood off of herself. In the shower she found herself going into deeper thought though, mostly about her savior. If she was attatched before the this was going to make that situation a million times worse, how did he even know she was crying? She guessed it was his augmented senses, but still, there had to be something else that brung him to her. Was he going to check up on how she was doing? Did he want to see her again? She wanted to think so.
It was already 3 am, but, they had to leave at 8pm tomorrow for the first shimada mission so they would be able to at least sleep in. all Agents get days off directly before missions. She hoped she could spend it with him. But she didnt want to push anything on him, he had already done so much for her.
She stepped out of the shower and changed her bandages. She put on something and headed back out into her condo, cyborg waiting patiently, probably to lecture her.
"how much have you eaten today Angela?"
he said, staring her body down.
"i have eaten today Genji, why do you ask?"
he stared at her with peircing eyes, he wasnt having any of it
"Angela I know what your doing, you look gaunt, how much have you really eaten?"
she looked down
"i had coffee in the morning..."
he got up and began walking towards her, and wrapped his arms around her.
"Angela please take care of yourself, I cant protect you if you dont take care of yourself"
he took her hand and held it tightly. He stared into her eyes
"please, promise me you will?"
god where his eyes piercing, she felt like she could never possibly hide things from him, she was tranparent to him, she was having her breath taken away by him, she needed to make a promise to herself, if he cared enough about her to want her to be safe, she would keep herself safe. She nodded and looked into his eyes
"i promise, Genji"
a smile crept up on his face and he embraced her yet again, this time more tightly. As they parted Angela let out a long yawn, causing Genji to yawn as well, after all, it was already 4am
"yknow you dont have to walk to your quarters, ive got a couch if you just want to crash, its pretty late Genji"
he looked at the couch he would be sleeping on and headed over to it, plopping himself down onto it
"i accept your ofter Angela, it will also give me a chance to keep watch over you tonight, to make sure nothing else goes wrong"
she smiled, she felt such a warm sensation at the thought of him caring about her. God had she fallen for her savior. She couldnt wait to be on that mission with him, she would finally get her time with him, but she wondered If he felt the same way. The thought worried her. He would never love her, she was too pathetic, she was probably just an annoyance to him. She quickly wiped these thoughts from head and turned to matters at hand.
"alright then, I supose we should head off to sleep then"
she climbed into her bed and stretched, feeling the stinging pain in her arm and thighs as she lay her head on the pillow
"goodnight Genji, sweet dreams"
"and the same to you Angela, sweet dreams"
then they headed off to sleep, the Eventful night being finally over, and her love for him solidified
crazy how he had found her at the time she needed him the most, but hey, her life was full of perfect timing.
