Chapter Two; McRibs~

Aurorette waited impatiently in the side hall, waiting to see which house she would be sorted into. She had heard a great deal about these 'houses', and which house would be best to belong. Personally, she hoped it would be at least two stories tall and include a pool and spa. She began listening in on a pair of girls to the side. She found them to be quite homely.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna be put in Slytherin! What if I am, will I have to join You-Know-Who?" said a muddy haired girl nearby.

"Yeah, I think it's automatic acceptance into the Death Eaters," her pinched-faced friend replied. "Either way, I think Hufflepuff would be the worst. Still rather be in Slytherin."

"What's a Hufflepuff?" Aurorette popped in between the two girls. They were very startled by her interruption, and the pinched-faced girl scowled.

"My dad says that Hufflepuff is the catch-all house for those that don't belong anywhere else in the school," the pinched-faced girl replied. "He says it's amazing they haven't been forgotten about altogether."

"Ohhhh," Aurorette nodded knowingly. Or so she thought. She obviously did not belong in Hufflepuff.

"So what house do you think you'll be sorted to?" the timid muddy haired girl asked Aurorette.

"Well, I want my house to have at least two stories and a pool and spa," Aurorette declared.

"What?" the two girls stared at her confused. A moment later the pinched-faced girl's mouth twisted into a smirk.

"If the sorting hat doesn't place you, you get turned into a house elf and sent to work in the kitchens," she grinned with a glint in her eye.

Aurorette gasped and threw her hands to her face. How incredulous! She could never survive being a lowly cook, let alone a pint-sized fairy or whatever it was. She'd probably fall into the boiling pot herself.

It was then that she noticed the best thing since creation itself. Her face changed, her eyes fixed.

Across the hall was the godliest of specimens of the male gender, the paragon of eleven year-old perfection, like the McDonald's McRibs, but for the eyes!

There stood the boy of Aurorette's dreams. Sirius Black.

"Gaaaaaaaaaassssssssp!"

The girls next to Aurorette backed away from her terrifying sudden intake of oxygen.

"Who is that boy!" Aurorette pointed emphatically in his direction. The pinched-faced girl rolled her eyes.

"That's Sirius Black," she replied. "Youuuuuu, probably should stay away from him. You're…not his type."

And with that the pinched-faced girl walked away. The muddy haired girl inched out of sight, unknownst to Aurorette, whose loving affection was fixated entirely on Sirius.

She found that within a short moment her feet had scurried her body near to him, her gleefully clenched fists pushing through the other first years. She was so near him now.

"Will all the first years follow me now," demanded McGonagall from the door to the corridor. Aurorette was unable to capture her love's attention with only her silent gaping mouth, so Sirius and his spectacled friend walked right past her. Heartbroken, Aurorette sulked at the end of the trail of first years.

"First years will step forward to this really odd hat and be sorted," McGonagall explained to them in the Great Hall. The surprisingly sparse number of older students already seated in the four House tables stared at the new fish. McGonagall called each name down the list, quickly reaching Sirius Black. Aurorette watched hungrily as he was placed in Gryfindor and took a seat at their table.

"Aurorette Bunbury!" McGonagall called. The whole school murmured with snickering, even the professors couldn't help stifling a laugh.

Aurorette walked up to the stool and took a seat, with the enormous hat thrust onto her head by McGonagall. Immediately the hat began to whisper into her ear.

'Dear Merlin! What the in the world am I looking at in your head?' the hat exclaimed. 'What is wrong with you?'

'GRYFINDOR GRYFINDOR GRYFINDOR GRYFINDOR!' Aurorette concentrated as hard as she could, imagining sitting right next to Sirius Black.

'I'm not gonna lie, that's a little creepy,' the Sorting Hat hissed in her ear.

'But I want to be in GRYFINDOR!' Aurorette demanded.

'You don't really fit into a House. I know exactly where to put you…'

"GRYFINDOR!" Aurorette screamed loudly right as the Sorting Hat shouted over her…

"HUFFLEPUFF!"


I do so enjoy satire. I think surely by now you've picked up on that. If not, I just want to point out that I'm just having a bit of fun. I honestly love Harry Potter, I grew up reading it and have nothing against it. I just tend to have a laugh at everything if I can. For crying out loud, I've parodied myself.

I'd also like to say that I've NEVER had a McRib. I simply never cared enough to try one, but many people I mention this to insist that I'm missing out. Society seems to be obsessed with the McRib whenever it comes around. Hence the random comparison of Sirius to the much desired McRib. There. That's why.

If you want a sirius fan fiction, mine is not the one...well, it will be about Sirius, but with lots of laughs! Hopefully you enjoy it and I'll see you next chapter!