CHAPTER THREE / JESS

Jax mumbles something about a girl standing a little to the side of us who keeps eyeing our group off. Most of the boys just ignore him, but that doesn't mean he looses interest anytime soon. He becomes distant from the conversation and eventually Mark nudges him and tells him to "cut it out, you're probably creeping the poor girl the fuck out." We all burst out laughing. "Jess.." She says from behind me. "Is that you?" That shuts my friends up. They each look from one another to me, and back a few times. "Do you know her?" Jax mouthes, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I roll my eyes and then glance over my shoulder.

"Rory?" I smile, there was no mistaking that voice, it set every hair on my body up on end. The next thing I know she's hugging me. I hesitate before bringing my arms gently around her and returning the favour. "It's so good to see you! I can't believe it's really you! Oh my god!" Her breath is warm against my neck and I decide it's about time to pull apart. Our audience blinks and a few months open and close, evidently wanting to speak and then thinking better of it.

Rory glances around the group and then back to me, her cheeks colouring. I realise she's trying to communicate something to me through her eyes, like we used to be able to do when we were younger. She's waiting for me to introduce them. "Oh, right! Sorry, where am my manners?" I joke, holding out a hand. "Everybody, this is Rory. Rory, this is everybody. That's Seb, Mark and this here, is Jax who was undoubtedly checking you out for the last twenty minutes and most likely making you extremely uncomfortable." I slap him affectionately on the back. All the boys laugh, but Rory only fidgets, forcing a smile.

I find myself being transported back to that night in Stars Hollow five years ago, as she kissed me fiercely in the pantry. It's as if I can still feel the trace of her fingers across my bare skin and her lips along my jawline. I shiver, forcing myself to set the memories — oh so many memories — aside and be in the present. And yet, she's here too. In the present, in the past — there's no escaping her. Just when I think I'm rapidly approaching a Rory-less future, there she is, popping up again in Central Park of all places in August.

"It's really great to meet all of you." Rory nods to each of my friends, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Jess, um, could I maybe speak to you one on one for a minute?" Her face is pleading and anxious. Am I making her that way? Surely not. I nod and she starts off, expecting me to fall into step beside her but I linger a moment due to Jax's hand on my shoulder.

"One on one, hey? I want the details later, bro. Forget nothing." He laughs, a mischievous expression on his face and Mark only rolls his eyes, forging disapproval. I can tell they're all thinking the same thing and they couldn't be more far off. There's nothing between me and Rory. Nothing long-lasting anyhow, nothing either of us deserve. And it's been that way since she got off that bus, headed for school and i stayed on it, headed for my father and answers i never did get.

I shrug Jax's touch off and catch up to Rory in few steps. "So, fancy seeing you here, of all places." I quip and then mentally kick myself. What am i, eighty suddenly? Nobody says fancy anymore. She only laughs and nods her agreement. "Yeah, i know. Pretty crazy, huh?" i always could count on rory to not pull me up on my dorkiest moments. she was the one person i learnt to drop the facade around, to be honest with or as honest as i could at seventeen having no clue who i was or where i was going in life.

"What are you doing here, Rory?" i ask as she glances around us. "oh, i've um got a meeting." she stutters. "you sure?" i tease and she looks panic stricken. "what do you mean? yes, i mean, i'm pretty sure." i laugh. "no, i didn't mean— oh never mind." i don't bother trying to explain i was poking fun of how uncertain her voice had been when she'd mentioned a meeting as though it was something she was asking me rather than telling me.

"so, those friends of yours?" she tilts her head in their direction. "they seem…nice." she finishes lamely. i smirk. "yeah, they might appear a lil indecent but they're good lads. loyal, y'know? we've stuck by each other through a lot. Seb was actually at the open house i invited you to, remember? yeah, anyways, he was uh.. part of the publishing house who published The Subsect so we've been mates ever since." she nods, smiling. "yeah, i thought i recognised him from somewhere when i spotted him across the park." "well, that'd be the book launch." i say. she nods again. "yeah, thanks for clearing that up for me." she laughs and i look away.

this is pathetic. i knew things might be a lil awkward the next time we saw each other after the wedding but i never could've anticipated this. "why did you..um..wanna talk one on one?" i ask, even though i can tell it's not something she wanted me to bring up by the tense expression that crosses her face at my mentioning it. "oh, um.." she pauses, regaining her composure.

"I was wondering if maybe we could…" her voice trails off as she fiddles with her watch. "yeah?" i prompt as rory's eyes grow wide. "oh my god. is that the time?" she holds her watch up under my nose and then grabs ahold of my wrist, yanking my sleeve up. "rory, hey." i say, touching her shoulder, trying to calm her down. "why don't you wear a watch anymore?" she demands as though this is my fault. and here i am still not fully aware of what this even is. "what's wrong?" "i have a meeting." "so you've said but i don't—" "I have less than five minutes to get across to 22nd avenue. is that far from here?" i gap at her. she did not just ask me that. "oh rory." i face palm myself and she laughs though i can tell it's not sincere and is more out of nerves than anything else. "y'know i've never been a natural at New York." she tries to explain. "it's okay. c'mon. i can get you there." i pull her after me as we head to the nearest edge of the park.

i point across the intersection, you wanna cross here and turn down that lane, then walk up a block and you're there." "okay, that doesn't seem too bad." she replies, nodding and repeating my directions under her breath to commit them to memory. "yeah, but it's New York. the streets are chaotic, they take more time and patience than any sane human has to work your way through." i grimace. "do you want me to escort you?" she shakes her head, grinning. "no, jess. thank you though." she touches my arm. "but i'll be alright. i can do this on my own." i nod. "well, okay, if you say so." "but i would love to meet up after? if you're free?" "after the meeting?" "yeah." she tucks some hair behind her ear.

it feels as though my stomach has summersaulted into my mouth. she wants to catch up? my mouth is dry and i can't stop clenching and unclenching my fists at my sides. so i stuff them into my pocket so she doesn't notice and remember how i used to do this whenever my mind was racing. "sure. i mean, i should get back to my mates but later should be good." she smiles and kisses my cheek slowly, carefully. when she draws back, we're much closer than we've allowed ourselves to get since the pantry. "thank you for making time for me. the meeting's at 3006 22nd avenue. d'you wanna just meet me outside the building at around 4pm?" i nod. "sounds good." "great! thanks jess." she calls, backing away, not tearing her eyes away until the last minute and breaking into a jog across the road. she's lucky the lights went red so she could cross.

i wave as she disappears down the lane i pointed out only minutes earlier and turn around, touching a hand to my jaw. well, that certainly was something i wasn't expecting to happen today. i think to myself, making my way back over to the guys. "Hey, look, the prodigal son has returned!" Mark jokes waving me over and Seb smirks. "So that was her, huh? The famous Rory." I bite my bottom lip. "Yeah, that was her." i glance over my shoulder, one hand in a pocket, as though she might reappear back where i first saw her.

"she didn't look like somebody who was over you." Mark remarks, tentatively. "Cut it out." i whack his arm as he laughs, shoving me back. "I'm just calling it how i see it." "Yeah, well maybe it's time to get a prescription because your eyes are playing tricks on you. That's not how things are with us, with Rory and me." "Mate, you're totally whipped." Jax tilts his head at me, faking sympathy. "Am not. You're full of shit." Seb gives me a look. "I gotta agree with Jax on this one, Mariano. Your whole demeanour changed when she approached the group."

"Oh, yeah? And how's that?" I challenge, still trying to sort through the many emotions and thoughts that i felt and had laying eyes on Rory again after five whole years. "It was like y'know the rest of the world just dropped away and it was only the two of you, like you only had eyes for each other and we became like trees or something." Jax explains, taking over and running with Seb's earlier comment. He uses a faux sweet voice as though narrating some cringe-worthy rom-com that boys only ever sit through to get their girlfriend to put out. They all crack up laughing.

"Since when are we noticing things like our demeanours, anyway?" i remark, looking bored. "what do you say we start to head back?" the boys nod and we start walking. "but don't think you're getting out of telling us what went down during your precious little one-on-one, spill the beans, Mariano." "well, Jones," i exaggerate Seb's surname. "nothing much really." "pfft. really, pulling the nothing much line? thought you were better than that, Jess." Jax chimes in, offering me a condescending tone.

"She's in the city for a meeting and had to run off so we're gunna hang out after." "NO shit!" Mark exclaims, thumping me on the back. "Looks like there's hope yet for the JessandRory love story of '02!" I laugh as we stop at the lights, waiting to cross. He says our names as though they're one word. "Nothing's going to happen, guys. It's probably just gunna be a quick cup of coffee and a brief recount on what's been going on for her and for me and then we'll say goodbye again." just like always, i add in my head.

"Nah, i don't think so, man. i reckon she's gunna throw you by suggesting some rebound sex." "what?" i blurt, almost gagging. "who would she be rebounding from? as far as i know she hasn't—" "What, you reckon she hasn't gotten any since you were together? since she was seventeen? Please, with an ass like that, i'd bet you bottom dollar she'd be getting some every weekend." i punch Jax. "Don't talk about Rory like that, dude. I mean it. She's off limits for that kind of talk, you hear me?"

"Hey, relax. Okay?" Mark intervenes, stepping between us as we turn the corner, putting as much space between me and Jax, who's now puffing his chest out at me as though just daring me to have a go at him. "He was only teasing, Jess." "Yeah, well, don't. Not when it's got to do with Rory." "It's a sensitive topic for him." Seb puts in, giving me a proud look as though he thinks he's helping. Jax looks ahead as we walk, his tone blunt. "Yeah, well it seems more and more stuff has been a sensitive topic for him lately." "Great, just keep talking like i'm not here, why don't you?" I retort, sarcastically.

"Mariano, what is with you? Are you still hung up on that chick from the park or something? Because you've been on edge ever since we ran into her." "Just lay off." Seb tells the others and pulls me aside once we get back to the New York head quarters of Truncheon Books. "Jess, i'm worried for you, man." "what? why?" i pick up the pile of mile on my desk as we move into my office and flick through it. "This thing with Rory, I don't know if it's a good idea." "Seb.. you can't be serious? You too?" "Me too, what?" "You're going to lecture me about this too?" "No, no, not lecture." He shakes his head and leans against my desk as i move around the office, briefly reading notes and reminders i've plastered about the place.

"i just want you to be careful, guarded." "Guarded, huh?" i repeat, giving him a look like this is so a lecture because we both know it is. "the last time you saw her…well, it took a few weeks for you to go back to being yourself, let's just leave it at that, shall we?" "Seb, i didn't—" He holds up his hand, letting me know he wasn't finished. "Look, Jess. You're a big boy, you can take of yourself, i get it. But being the other friend, i've gotten used to looking out for you, okay? and i just don't want to see you get tossed to the curb again with this girl. i know there's some history between you guys as high school sweethearts or something, that i don't fully understand but every time she's reentered your life since i've known you, all she's done is cause trouble."

"It's not like that. Rory's not like that. You just haven't spend enough time around her, that's all." "You're probably right. i mean, i haven't spent any time around her, but i have spent time around you and the last time you crossed paths with her, i distinctively remember you moping about your place, not agreeing to come out with me and the guys on the weekend and being a significantly more spaced out version of yourself." i open my mouth to argue his point but he keeps on. "I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or to avoid this girl, i'm merely suggesting you don't get your hopes up this time." "Oh, you're only merely suggesting, huh?" i retort and we both laugh.

"Look, you're gunna do what you want, no matter what i say." "Damn right i am." "I just thought i might as well.." "might as well, what exactly? Throw your two cents in just for the hell of it?" He pushes himself off from my desk as i slump in my office chair and walks toward the door. "Forget i said anything." "Seb." he stops before the door way, glancing back at me. "thank you for looking out for me. you're a good mate." he smiles. "but just because you're older doesn't always guarantee you know better, awright?" his grin only grows. "wouldn't have it any other way." he salutes me because that's just a thing we've always done to sign off to each other and wanders back through to the main room.

the phone on the desk rings and i snatch it up. "Hello, Truncheon Books NYC, Jess Mariano speaking." "Jess, my man! it's matthew!" "Matty boy!" i smile, as the familiar voice fills my ears. "Just checking up on how our New York office is operating?" Laughing, i reply; "things are good here. not as busy as we'd like, but y'know we're managing." "that's not what i want to hear. things are really that slow?" he tries to make light of it but we both know the stakes are high. Chris and Matthew are the ones who signed my book and they started up Truncheon all on their own in Philadelphia. After the success of my book died down, they offered me a job and i've been working with them at the publishing house ever since.

we only opened up the new york office earlier this year so things are still being shaky in terms of turning over a profit and getting the word out to budding authors to sign with Truncheon. Being far from a big name publisher, we're not exactly well-known outside Philly yet but we're working on it. "Nah, Matty, trust me, they're going good. In fact Mark signed someone this morning." "Oh yeah, who?"

Matthew and I talk for another ten minutes or so and then he puts Chris on to say hello. Before i know it i'm calling to the guys that i'm going to finish up early for the day and catch the subway uptown to meet Rory.