CHAPTER SIX / RORY

when we break apart, i'm breathless and he rubs his lips together, a happy look dancing behind his eyes. "i'm sorry my friends are jerks but who cares about them? they don't matter, Rory." "how can you say that, though? they're your friends.." he shrugs, keeping his arms loosely around me, holding me close. i can feel his breath, warm and comforting against my neck. i take a few breaths myself, trying to calm my racing heart. how can he still do this to me, still have such an effect on me after all these years?

i guess Mum was right when she said to me chemistry never does entirely go away.. Given that she'd been talking about her and my english teacher Max Medina at the time, but that's not important.

"i'll sort things out with them when i get back. it'll give Seb and I both time to cool off." "get back? you taking a trip somewhere?" i banter with him. he grins. "yeah, you didn't forget, did you? you and me, we're off on a mini road trip tonight." i smile and hug him. "are you sure you want to come home with me? it's not going to be easy, Jess, facing everybody again.." "Yeah, but we'll be together this time. you won't have to deal with their judging looks and stickybeak questions on your own like last time." he whispers in my ear and i kiss his cheek. "do you need to go back up there to pack your things?" i point upstairs. "oh shit, right." he pulls back and kisses my forehead quickly before bounding back up the stairs.

"i'll swing by your hotel in about an hour, does that sound alright?" he calls over his shoulder. "yeah, that's good. i'll see you then." i shout back, as he disappears up the stairs. "okay! bye, Rory!" he replies and i laugh quietly to myself, turning the opposite direction and walking the rest of the way downstairs to the lobby by myself. i flag down a cab outside Jess's building and climb in the back, telling him the name of my hotel.

the taxi fare costs more than i was expecting but i don't mind since i'd rather pay a little more, than have gotten lost and had to call Jess, ashamed and embarrassed, to come and rescue me. that would've only confirmed what Sebastian was saying about us — that Jess drops everything to rush by my side whenever i say the word.

as i ride the lift back up to the fifth floor of the Surrey, i try to put his flatmate's accusations out of my head. he doesn't know our story, i tell myself. there's always been unfinished business between Jess and I, we've always been connected in some weird way ever since we first met when Luke brought him over for the welcome dinner/get together Mum and Sooki planned for Jess having just moved to Stars Hollow.

When Jess left town without a word and never looked back, i was devastated. when he didn't even say goodbye [for the second time, if you count when he walked out after our car accident and i had to go all the way to New York to see him again..] i thought we were over, that was the end of whatever that had been between us. i was hurt.

and then him showing up in town and running away from me every chance he got, a few years later, well that hurt too. so i told him to talk and he did. he told me he loved me and then walked backwards and got in his car and drove away. the memories cloud my vision as i make my way toward my hotel room door, plucking the key card from my jean back pocket.

i still feel the loss in every inch of my body when i flashback to him pleading with me in my dorm room at Yale, trying his hardest to convince me that he was ready, that "we'll finally be together, it's what i want, it's what you want too." those words have haunted me, even after all these years apart, even after dating Logan and growing up, moving on. they've stayed with me, because i think, in that moment, i knew deep down, there would be no taking them back — on his part or on mine. he'd said them, he'd let them be put out there, floating in the open space between us, serving as the string which connected us but kept us apart at the same time.

i go to the bathroom first and then return to packing my things. it doesn't take long since i'd gotten most of it out of the way this morning, thankfully. i finish off a report for work and attach it to an email, sending it through. i brush my teeth and braid my hair. i even make the bed for the housekeeper, though i realise only after i'm done that it was probably a waste of time since they'll have to change the sheets anyway for a new guest. this is when i pause to glance around the room, it hits me that someone else may be sleeping in here tonight, and if not tonight, then tomorrow night or in two days time..

even though it's still less than 24 hours since i touched down in this city, i feel a certain attachment to the room…even though Jess and I didn't technically do anything in here..it still feels as though so much passed between us here. i check my watch, it's in no way nearly been an hour. i still have ages until he knocks on the door. i feel like i might go out of my mind in anticipation. so this is really it, then..we're really starting again together. the thought of his arms around me, his lips on mine, his hair between my fingers, his thumb tracing circles on my skin — makes me giddy.

i flop backwards on the bed and stare up at the ceiling, willing myself to think of anything but him. don't ruin it, a bitchy voice spits inside my mind. don't overthink it, after all you always do and it only ends up destroying it.

half an hour later, there's a knock on the door. i put down my book and climb off the bed, pulling open the door. Jess grins, a duffel bag slung over one shoulder. "you ready?" "i've been ready for ages!" i exclaim, moving aside so he can come into the room. he laughs and looks around. "i can see that. did you really clean up in here?" i blush. "..maybe." "oh, Rory." he face palms himself and laughs again. i slip my shoes back on and tuck a loose strain of hair behind my ear that's come free from the braid. "let's go." i pull my suitcase with my backpack balancing on top, out into the hall. Jess follows and we make for the lifts again.

we're silent in the elevator, flying past the first four floors. he hangs back while i check out and then we walk out together. "we've gotta catch a cab to my friends Madeline and Louise's place first." i explain as the driver opens the boot for us to dump our bags in. i recite the address from my phone and he nods, climbing back into the driver's seat. Jess opens the door for me and i thank him, sliding through first. "Who are Madeline and Louise?" he asks and i smile. "oh, now that's a long story." i joke and lean back in the seat as Jess makes no move to pull on his seat belt.

i don't comment on it, since it's sure to be met with some lecture on how that's a trait of a real New Yorker and what tells them apart from tourists. "We went to school together." i add, as his curiosity only grows. "Yale?" I shake my head. "Chilton." he raises his eyebrows. "I thought you never got along with that crowd.." "well, i didn't, really. but Madeline and Louise weren't so bad..i ran into them again on spring break with Paris during our years at Yale and they were going down different paths to us then so that was the last time any of us heard from one another for a while." "huh." he nods, processing this and glances out the window, obviously thinking that's the end of it.

"and then we reconnected about a year ago, when i ran into Louise at a press junket." "really? what was she doing there?" he cocks his head. i laugh. "she was actually with the politician." "Dating him?" Jess asks. "i don't know whether i'd have called it dating. More like sleeping with him.." i correct. Jess's face visibly changes and i laugh again. he smirks. "well, that is slightly different." "yeah." "so why are we headed to her place? just feel like dropping in to catch up on the gossip or..?"

i shake my head. "i left my car with them when i went to Monaco." "Oh?" "Yeah, Madeline gave me a lift to the airport and assured me my car would be just as safe in the assigned car space of their apartment building as it would in longterm parking at the airport and this way, it saved me paying the fee." i explain. "ah. smart girl." Jess remarks, slightly sarcastically. I think back to when Dean met them at Chilton's prom and got into a fight with Tristan. Thank god, Jess never met Tristan. i can't imagine that exchange going down without any bloodshed either.

it takes about twenty five minutes to get to Madeline and Louise's neighbourhood and i pay the driver while Jess unloads our bags. "Over here." i point out the building as we cross the road and the taxi drives off. "this one?" he tilts his head in the direction and i nod, making a grab for my suitcase. "nah, it's alright, i've got it." he doesn't let me take it. "okay..thanks." i mumble as we step back onto the sidewalk. "i better call her, let her know we're downstairs." i pull my phone out of my purse and select Louise's number since i never did get Madeline's.

after i hung up, i drop my phone back into my bag and tell Jess they'll be right down. "so why'd they give up their space for you?" "hmm?" i reply, my mind on other things. "well, i mean, it just doesn't make a lot of sense, right? if it's their space for their apartment, why were they supposed to park their own cars? or do they not have cars?"

"oh. no they do." i answer. "but they're always arguing over which of them gets to park their car in it so me borrowing it served as like a ceasefire for them..gave them a few weeks to figure out a system, y'know? one that didn't involve scratching the other person's eyes out to get the spot or resorting to parking their car there when the other happened to get home late from work or spend a night at their boyfriend's place, ect."

"RORY!" Madeline's shrill voice yelps from the door as she skips towards me, throwing her arms around me. "Madeline, hi." i say into her hair, laughing slightly. "I told her not to run at you like that." Louise tuts, coming towards us at a much more paced speed. "she's already had a few mojitos. and y'know how Madi gets, there's no talking logic into her past the first glass." "Right, mojitos, of course." i share a look with Jess over Madeline's shoulder, as though this is the most normal thing in the world — for them to already be drinking cocktails at ten minutes to 4pm on a Wednesday afternoon.

"who's the stud?" Louise twirls a strain of hair around her forefinger, licking her lips. i laugh as Madeline spins around, pretending she's a ballerina and stops, finally noticing Jess, herself and giving him the classic Madeline once over look. Jess doesn't even flinch. "Uh, Louise, Madeline, this is Jess. Jess, Madeline, Louise." i point each of the girls out to Jess and he looks from one to the other. "So, a mojito's your weapon of choice, huh?" he poses and Louise grins mischievously. "don't you know it, boy."

"okay," i clap my hands together to get their attention. i'll admit i don't like where this is going so i do my best to direct the focus elsewhere. "so..my car?" Louise doesn't tear her eyes away from Jess, who's now shifting his weight from foot to foot uncomfortably and Madeline simply goes back to spinning around enthusiastically. i poke Louise's ribs. "hey!"

"we've really gotta get going." i lie. "yeah, long drive ahead, you know how it is. wanna make a decent start before it starts getting dark." Jess jumps in and i shoot him a disguised look of gratitude, communicating through my eyes again. he smirks, glancing away from Louise and me. i feel a warm feeling spread in my chest at how easily we've both picked that old habit up again.

"alright, alright." Louise leads the way and we all fall into step behind her. i nudge Madeline to stop twirling and she stumbles at first but then giggles carelessly and skips ahead, humming to herself. Jess gives me a look that reads "remind me again why you're friends with these people" and i just shrug it off. "here it is." Louise announces as we finally reach the car. "Thanks, Louise. And Madeline, you too. i really appreciate this. you guys did me a huge favour." Louise shrugs, tossing me the keys and Madeline giggles bashfully once more. i unlock the car and pop the trunk as Jess starts lifting our bags in.

"Wow, strong and with an air of bad boy charm about him, this one sure is more interesting than the one you had clinging off you in high school, Rory." Louise remarks as Madeline keeps squeezing Jess's muscles. Jess bats her hands away, an annoyed expression crossing his face, but this alludes a more than slightly tipsy Madeline. "He was the one i had in high school." i point out and Jess straightens up after bending over to arrange the bags.

He brushes his palms on his jeans as Louise raises her eyebrows, a questioning look playing on her face. "No, wasn't he much taller, slightly leaner and had that farm boy look about him? wasn't that him? the one who Tristan bought the smokes off that time we had to rehearse for Romeo and Juliet in that sweet fairytale little town of yours, Rory? wasn't he like a checkout boy or something?" Well, at least somethings never change, i think to myself. One can always rely on not-so-subtle Madeline to bare everything.

Jess clears his throat. "Yeah, she's right, Rory. she's certainly not describing me." i sigh as Louise fiddles with her necklace, her eyes flying between Jess and I. "Oooh, i think you sparked a nerve, Madi." she tuts, clicking her tongue and i resist the urge to roll my eyes. "you didn't spark a nerve, Madeline." i retort, my eyes on Louise. "That wasn't Jess. But i did date Jess back in high school." "Going back for sloppy seconds, huh, Rory?" Louise toys and my grip on the keys tightens. "Not exactly."

"Rory, we should really make a start on that drive.." Jess gives me the out i need just when i need it the most. i breathe a sigh of relief, letting myself relax, having not realised how tense i'd allowed my muscles to become. "Well, thanks again for minding the car, girls." i say, hugging them each quickly and walking towards the car door. Jess fails to mask his surprise at being left to the passenger side.

Madeline and Louise start to walk away, with Louise making not-so-subtle fuck-me eyes at Jess over her shoulder and Madeline saluting me off and returning to skipping. Jess swallows a scoff. "They seem like such great friends of yours." He says sarcastically as I open my door, looking at him over the roof of my car. "Shh." i warn. "They could overhear you!" "Oh, please, Rory. They won't, trust me." He makes the action of downing a drink with his left hand. " One too many mojitos will take care of that." "Jess!" we both start laughing.

i look around us. We're alone. "Well, are you going to get in then? Or do you fancy walking to Stars Hollow?" I joke since he's still just standing there, leaning his chin on his folded hands on the car roof, making no move to open his door or climb inside. "You sure you wanna drive?" He asks.

"oh, so that's it. i knew there was something playing on your mind. You don't think i'll be a good driver? Is that what you're worried about?" "No, Rory. God, of course i don't think that." "Well, then what is it?" "I don't know!" he shrugs dramatically, his voice exasperated. "i just like being the one who driving. i'm used to always being the one behind the wheel. we always take my car on road-trips, the boys and i, and since nobody knows how to drive a stick shift except me, that means i'm the one driving the whole way and also since they're never willing to stay sober at the parties we go to, i'm always designated—"

i hold up a hand. "okay, i get it, Jess." i laugh, teasing him. "well, since this is my car and we're going to my town..and well, i have been looking forward to this drive for days..d'you think you could manage riding shotgun for once in your life? because i'd really love to drive. you know how much i love the drive from Hartford to Stars Hollow.. from taking it everyday because of Chilton. But if it really means that much to you, you can drive us out of New York and over the highway for the first half and then we can pull over and switch?"

he shakes his head, moving aside slightly so he can open the door. "nah, you're right. it's not the end of the world if i ride shogun for once." he pauses before climbing inside, meeting my gaze across the car roof still. that's when i think of something and before thinking it over, i'm blurting it out already.

"well, good. and anyways, i'll be damned if i get into another car with you since the last time." "what do you mean?" he asks. "you remember what happened, don't you? we got into that accident because of the animal that ran in front of the car?" Jess's face falls. "Rory—" i laugh to lighten the mood, realising he's probably taking my bringing up the accident, the wrong way. "Jess, i'm only teasing. C'mon. just get in the car." i slip inside and with a sigh, he does the same.

in the car, we talk about everything and nothing all at once. we listen to music and sing along, we laugh and we tease, we ask about each other's jobs and lifestyles, we tell quips about our friends, share our reactions to new albums by the bands we used to dream of seeing together right here in New York, review new books and new movies with the directors or producers we always loved. he has his feet up on the dash, at one point and my hair's everywhere from the wind that's coursing through the car from my open window where my elbow rests on the frame. i feel relaxed and happy, chatting and constantly remembering things i want to tell him, share in with him.

he's barely glanced at the road, too lost in what i'm telling him and watching as i drive, confident and alert yet comfortable and knowing. when did that happen? he thinks to himself. she's never been a nervous driver exactly but she was also hardly the person always eager to drive.

He brings up that the last time we were in a car together wasn't actually the accident at 16 years old but after Luke and Mum's wedding when he drove me home. and "you arrived safely, in one piece," he jokes as I tense, adjusting my grip with both hands on the wheel. "yeah, you're right." "Rory?" "no, i was wrong. um, i totally forgot about that night. yeah, the wedding, hah of course." i tap my temple. "silly me."

"well, i'd be impressed if you did remember it since you were pretty wasted at the reception." he remarks and I lean across to whack at his chest, causing us both to start laughing. "hey! shut up! don't say that! i wasn't wasted." he scoffs, probably knowing i'm embarrassed. "Rory, it's okay, really. i mean, i was there, i know what you were like and i'm not holding it against you, i'm merely pointing out that you've since gotten into a car with me years after that night of studying and ice cream — and everything was fine." "everything was not fine." i correct, shaking my head. "which time?" he jokes, cocking an eyebrow. "the wedding time." i reply, checking my revision mirrors and focusing on the road ahead. he falls silent, not sure how to respond to that.

i'm surprised as we pull into town, passing the iconic Welcome to Stars Hollow founded: 1779 sign, since the time spent driving with Jess has flown by. "hey, we're here." i nudge him, keeping one hand firmly on the wheel and only glancing away briefly. Jess grunts something incomprehensible. "Jeeesss." i draw out his name, shaking his knee and he starts awake. "huhhmm?" i laugh as he sits up and rubs his eyes, placing both hands back on the wheel. "what was that, Jess?"

he tries to hide his smile but i catch a glimpse of it anyway and smile, myself out at the road, happy that he's beside me now and i'm not pulling into town alone. if someone had stopped me in the airport back in Monaco to tell him i'd not only run into Jess Mariano after landing in New York but somehow convince him to come to Stars Hollow with me..well, i'd probably have laughed in their face out of disbelief.

"what's the time?" he pulls out his phone and i tear my eyes away from the road, curious as to what his lock screen is. it's a picture of him and a mate as far as i can tell but he stashes it away in his jacket's pocket before i can get a proper look. "Rory.." his voice is timid as i turn the corner, heading down a familiar road lined with trees. "yes, Jess?" i glance over to him, planting an innocent expression on my face. He looks like he's seen a ghost. "When you invited me…to come back home with you..you didn't actually mean we'd be staying.." "in my home?" i finish for him, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, excitement coursing through my veins at spotting Babette's house.

"well, yeah?" he asks, trying to make himself swallow. "and just where else did you think we'd be sleeping?" i pose, shaking my head at him, smiling. "uh, i guess i didn't really give it that much thought..but Rory, i really don't think—" "Jess, you're gunna be okay." i interrupt, pulling into the driveway and killing the engine. i hear the screams and squeals and shouts from Mum as she swings open the front door and stumbles down the steps, Paul Anka eagerly joining in but then abruptly stopping at the steps. Luke follows, at a slower pace, and pauses to frown at the dog, holding his arms out. "Really? i mean, really? they're just steps, Paul Anka! stupid dog." he mutters, but leaning down to carry the mutt down anyway.

i pat Jess's leg and then squeal without warning, myself, matching the out-of-this-world high frequency of Mum and leaping out of the car. out of the corner of my eye, i see Jess take a deep breath inside the car, pausing and running his hand through his hair nervously, before stepping out himself. "RORRYY!" Mum pulls me into a tight hug, squeezing my shoulders as i nuzzle my face into her neck and hair, breathing in the familiar scent. "Mama bear, i've missed you." "i've missed you too, kid." she whispers, her voice breaking slightly. when we pull apart, there are slight tears pooling in her eyes but she wipes them away quickly as Luke comes to stand beside her, smiling warmly at me.

Just as he holds out his arms for me, his gaze lands on something over my head. "Well, i'll be damned." he whistles, drawing it out, soft and long. Mum laughs a small laugh and taps his chest once or twice, "what are you on about? from the look on your face, one would think you'd never laid on eyes on Rory before." she jokes, looking up at him. Luke looks from Jess to me and i abruptly stop chewing on my bottom lip. "it's him i wasn't expecting to lay eyes on." Luke replies, jabbing a finger in Jess's direction and Mum's face changes. "What? who?" she turns from facing Luke on an angle to me as Jess takes the remaining steps from the car to my side.

"Jess." Mum says. "Lorelei." Jess clips a nod. Luke grins and hugs Jess the minute they lock eyes. Jess slaps his uncle on the back and i let out a breath i hadn't realised i'd been holding in. Mum smiles at them as they awkwardly adjust their footing, scuffing their toes into the dirt, embarrassed by their embrace. "Rory!" Luke suddenly remembers he hasn't seen me in months and quickly hugs me. "hey, luke! i'm so happy to see you…and Mum. it's so good to be finally home again." Mum smiles and tilts her head back towards the house. "well, shall we go inside then?"

"oh yeah, we just need to get the bags." i reply and turn towards Jess. "I'll help him. we've got it. you girls head in." Luke suggests, already turning Jess toward the car and setting off. "okay.." i say as Jess gives me a look over his shoulder. i shrug, communicating an apology through my eyes. "there was nothing i could do." i mouth as Mum puts her arm around my waist and pulls me gently towards the deck.

"So.. Jess is here." Mum whispers as she holds the door open for me and we walk through together. "why are you whispering?" i laugh. "they can't hear us, Mum. and even if they could, it's not a secret. Luke saw him, he sees him." i gesture to where Luke and Jess stand at the back of my car, popping the boot open with Paul Anka running circles around their legs. Mum tuts and shuts the door, hustling me through the house to the kitchen. "wait!" i screech and rush through to the lounge. "a new couch!" i grin and hold my arms out, as Mum stops at the edge of room, looking at me. "You got a new couch!" i announce again, as though maybe she wasn't aware of this, herself.

"what is it? what do you look so worried?" i say, my voice dropping back down to what Grandma would call an appropriate inside voice. "oh, do you not like it? and does luke love it?" i say, coming towards her, whispering myself this time. there have been clashes of furniture tastes many times in this household and me moving out didn't seem to improve matters much, ironically.

"no, no." Mum waves this idea away. "it's not that." "well, then what is it? because i mean, it's looks nice enough." i walk back over to it and sit down, bouncing on the cushion. "comfy." i remark, smiling. "it's just…well, i wasn't sure if you'd be upset about it." "about you getting a new couch?" i raise eyebrows. "ah, mum? why would i be upset?" has she finally lost it?

"because, the last couch…was..well, Christopher and i—" "oh." i pause and then stand up. "so the couch you and dad got is.." "gone." i sold it two weeks ago and someone came to pick it up in a trailer they'd borrowed from their neighbour." "right." i nod. "are you okay, kid?" Mum puts a hand on my shoulder. "yeah, yeah." i shake my head, starting toward the kitchen, knowing Mum will follow me without even thinking about it. "i'm good. look, you and dad ended ages ago..you getting rid of a couch you guys picked out together makes sense. And it isn't something that's gunna make me upset, for the record." i give her a look.

"okay, i'm glad then. i just thought it might—" "Mum, i love Luke." "you do?" "Yes. i love that you married him and that you guys have ended up together. i was rooting for you both right from the start, you know that, right?" She nods, not saying anything. "that couch was the last thing representing your marriage to Dad and to be entirely honest, i'm surprised it managed to hang around for as long as it did. i figured Luke would've wanted it out of here the first week you guys got home from the honeymoon."

"well…it sorta helped he didn't know it was from Chris." Mum mumbles. a look of surprise crosses my face. "he didn't know?" she shakes her head, bringing a finger to her lips, making the keep it hush hush face. "got it." i reply and spin around. "my room! i've missed you!" i say to the walls and the books and the bed and the wardrobe and the desk. Mum laughs and puts the kettle on for coffee.