"Do you guys think it's possible for a bad guy to change?" Linda asked Team Flash as she met with them at S.T.A.R. Labs. It had been about a week since the Metapacolypse and the defeat of Zoom and things had more or less calmed down. The city was slowly getting back to normal, people were starting to believe that they were safe again from a man who looked like a monster with demonic claws straight from their nightmares leading an army ready to tear everything down.
Linda came to S.T.A.R. Labs looking for some clarity into a decision she'd made. Against her better judgment, she let Doctor Light go. After their conversation, for reasons she still couldn't explain, she couldn't bring herself to turn her doppelganger in. Instead, she helped her home and put her to bed. She surprised herself by actually checking up on her the next day, even going as far as picking up her meds.
And every day since she's wondered if she did the right thing.
A part of her did believe Doctor Light when she said that she was sorry. That she was remorseful. But another part still screamed at her that this woman was ready to try and kill her. That if it hadn't been for Iris, who knows if she would've been able to go through with it.
Now she found herself asking heroes if a conversion was really possible.
"It's not totally unheard of," Caitlin answered as she and Iris moved down the pipeline, bringing the metas being held there lunch.
"Name one," Linda said, genuinely curious to find out if Caitlin wasn't just trying to give her hope, false or otherwise.
"Well, Captain Cold is the best example that comes to mind," she answered coolly.
"The guy who liked to freeze stuff?" Linda asked.
Caitlin nodded.
"He nearly killed Barry along with that guy with the heat gun in that fight downtown a few years ago," Iris interjected.
"That would be Heat Wave," Caitlin informed them. "And I didn't say he didn't have history with Barry, but he did kind of make a turn the last year."
"I should mention he broke into my Dad's house at Christmas, and killed his own father before that."
And this is the guy Caitlin wanted to use as an example of someone who changed his ways, Linda thought, he's worse than Doctor Light. Linda started thinking that maybe she was wrong. That maybe she should've called the police.
"True, but he broke into your father's house to give Barry a warning about Trickster and Weather Wizard," Caitlin pointed out. As they came to entrance way of the pipeline.
Linda found it almost humorous to see Caitlin pushing a food cart loaded with every type of fast food and ethnic food you could think of. She hadn't asked, but she was now certain that some of the metas from last week's attack were probably being housed here.
"So he has one good deed to his name," Iris conceded.
"Technically…it's more like four that I could name off the top of my head.
Iris and Linda looked at S.T.A.R. Labs' resident lead scientist, at least lead in Linda's opinion since the other Harrison Wells went back home, with confusion. "Let me feed the inmates and then I'll explain."
A little under an hour later and all three women had left .R. Labs, Caitlin deciding that if Linda wanted to know about a villain's conversion, it might best to do it away from a prison setting. She wanted to make sure that her story had every chance of being impactful, and she didn't think that having a cadre of imprisoned metas within striking distance would help that.
So now all three of them were sitting in Jitters, having their own lunch while Caitlin tried to make a case for Captain Cold changing just enough to be allowed to roam free.
"Snart, I'm not calling him Captain Cold," she began as she took a drink, "is not the nicest person you'll ever meet. But recently, he hasn't been the worst. Last year, he forced Cisco to tell him Barry's identity. You would think he'd out Barry to the world, make it harder for him to do his job, but he kept the info; yes at the time for his own ends, but he kept it. A while later, when Reverse-Flash set the pipeline to blow and we had to move the metas in there, Snart was who we went to for help. Imagine our surprise when he brings along his sister, and we find out he kept his word about not telling anyone because Lisa Snart has absolutely no clue who Barry is."
"Wait a minute," Linda interrupted her. "Captain Cold promised not to tell, and honored his word?"
Caitlin nodded.
"Annoyed Lisa to no end. He likes to think of himself as an honorable villain."
"Who killed his own father," Iris pointed out, latching on to the fact that he did kill someone in cold blood, no pun intended.
Caitlin took a deep breath and took another drink. "I'm not going to say he didn't do that, or that it wasn't wrong, because it was. He should've let Barry hand him over to your Dad, but…I understand. His father planted a bomb inside Lisa, his own daughter, and once again, Snart's sister. It was located in her neck and had enough power to blow her head clean off any time he chose to. He did that because he knew that Snart loved Lisa more than anyone else in the world, and it would force Snart to work for him."
"Do as I say or your sister dies?" Linda asked. Caitlin nodded.
"His own daughter?" Iris asked.
"Daddy Snart was not a nice man, at least that's what the scar he left on Lisa when she was a kid told us. Cisco got the bomb out, and once Barry let Snart know she was safe, he…"
"Iced him?" Linda asked.
"Icicle straight through the heart. And surprisingly, it had nothing to do with forcing him to work for him, but everything to with the fact that he hurt Lisa. He said he hated the man for breaking her heart."
"So what, killing his Dad gave him some kind of epiphany?" Linda asked.
Caitlin shrugged. "I don't know if he felt remorse, or nothing at all, but Barry felt that if Snart could have something in his life that he protected because it was dear to him, then he couldn't be all bad. After all, being able to feel something for someone else means you have to care, and if you care, there's always hope."
The next day…
Linda parked her car outside of Doctor Light's building, making sure anything valuable was out of sight before getting out. She might have been here before, but she still wasn't comfortable with being in such a bad part of town. Once she was sure her car would be okay, she got out, set the alarm, and made her way in.
She groaned as she climbed the stairs, cursing that elevator was out of order. Once she was on the third floor, she made her way to Doctor Light's door at the end of the hall and stared knocking.
No answer.
She said she had the day off, Linda thought to herself, as she knocked again, realizing that Doctor Light probably wasn't home. As she considered what to do next, she came to realize that she had absolutely no clue where to even begin a search for her. Aside from what she learned about her at the hospital, Linda didn't really know anything about Doctor Light; her habits, her hobbies, whether or not she had friends…a boyfriend.
"Don't tell me you locked yourself out?"
Linda turned in the direction of the voice and saw a slightly overweight, nearly bald man walking toward her in a dirty flannel shirt and stained khakis. She figured him for the building super from the tool belt that barely fit around his waist. "Um…yeah, silly me," she said, hoping her confusion would be mistaken for embarrassment.
"You're lucky you need that shower fixed," he told her as he pulled a ring of keys from his tool belt and started looking for the correct one. Once he found it he unlocked the door and held the door open for Linda. "Otherwise, you'd have been out her for a while once I'd left."
"Lucky me, definitely," she said walking in.
Once inside, the super made his way directly to the bathroom, while Linda began looking around. It was something she didn't really do the last time she was here, well, not closely. She had walked the place, noticing the furniture being a mixture of thrift store and department store fare, the newer stuff probably bought after she'd saved enough through work. There were still dirty dishes in the sink then, just like there were now. A plant that looked like it needed watering.
She wandered into Doctor Light's bedroom, noticing the simple double bed - unmade. There was a dresser with a few pictures trapped to it. Linda figured they were friends from work. So she has friends, Linda thought. She also saw what looked like a simple looking jewelry box. The jewelry inside however, that looked anything but simple, or inexpensive. But what drew Linda's attention was the date book laying next to the box.
The fact that Doctor Light would have a date book was surprising enough, but it was the entry written on today's date that caused her since intrigue.
St. Nicholas Cemetery. Pick up flowers.
She wouldn't, would she, Linda thought. She knew Doctor Light didn't have a car, so she hoped that she could catch her if she hurried. She'd made it all the way downstairs, a little out of breath after almost running down them, and was almost out of the building when she heard a voice calling out to her.
"Running out to stop another bad guy?"
She stopped at the base of the stairs and looked around. She saw a wispy little girl who looked no more than nine or ten with long black hair and thick-rimmed cat eye glasses sitting in the small alcove between the stairs and the wall. She had on a pair of earbuds connected to a tablet. Linda tried not to smile as she noticed the Flash T-shirt and Flash painted Chucks she was wearing.
"Who? Me?"
"Unless you know someone else who stops guys whose heads are on fire by blasting them with a seriously cool light show," she answered back, laying her tablet on her lap and grabbing a Big Belly Burger cup that was sitting next to her. She took a large drink, the sound of the straw sucking in air carrying over to Linda. "So? Are you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"The night all those evil metas were laying a beat down on the city. While the Flash was beating on them right back, you were outside kicking some ass of your own," the girl said with an excited tone and a massive fangirl smile. "So are you running out there to battle another one? What kind of powers do you have? What's your superhero name? Why don't you wear a mask? Are you friends with the Flash?"
"Whoa, calm down," Linda told her, a small smile gracing her lips. "She…I mean I don't usually do things like that, but uh…"
"He started the fight, I know, I was watching."
"From where?"
"I live on the second floor," she said while pointing upstairs. She then grabbed her tablet and began tapping the screen. "I was looking out my widow, hoping to see the Flash when I heard voices on the street I looked down, saw some dude on fire, so I grabbed my tablet, and…got this," she finished, holding the tablet out.
Linda walked over and grabbed the tablet from the girl. It had been queued to a video file. She pressed play and saw someone whose head was actually on fire. He was approaching someone wearing a hoodie. The woman turned around, and it looked like there having a conversation. Suddenly, the woman pushed against the meta. The meta threw punch that was missed followed by a second push from the woman that was accompanied by a flash of bright light. A ball of green fire got thrown and, now Lind could identify her as Doctor Light, fell backwards.
The crazed meta came and stood over Doctor Light, and, if it hadn't been for something distracting him, he would've killed her. Instead, Doctor Light used the distraction to defend herself by using a glowing showcase of bright white light similar to what she used at Central City Picture News. the fight was over then, the evil meta on the ground not movie, and Doctor Light left standing.
"You looked awesome," the little girl said.
She actually stopped one, Linda thought. And this little girl is right, it did look pretty awesome. "What's your name, honey?"
"Dani."
"Nice name," Linda told her as she handed the tablet back and began walking back toward the door. "Hey, you never told me your name," Dani yelled at her. Linda smiled.
Linda made it to Saint Nicholas Cemetery and drove around it's grounds looking to see if she could see Doctor Light. When she didn't she began to think maybe she'd missed her. Damn it, she thought.
She was about to drive out and go back to Doctor Light's building when she happened to glance across the street. A city bus was pulling away from the curb and standing there, a small bouquet of flowers in hand and waiting for traffic to clear so she could cross was Doctor Light. Before she could be seen, Linda pulled over and parked, and then reclined the seat back in case she walked by.
Upon entering the cemetery, Doctor Light walked in the direction away from Linda's car. Linda waited a few seconds before getting out and following. She stayed back as far as she could so Doctor Light would feel like she was being tailed, but where she's could still her. As she walked she began taking notice of some landmarks.
The side by side memorial benches on her left where an elderly couple was buried. The Virgin Mary statue about ten feet later on her right. Oh my God, Linda said to herself. Is she really going to…
Then she saw the weeping angel statue about thirty feet later and stopped in her tracks. She didn't need to follow any further, she had a fairly good idea where Doctor Light was going. Instead, she ducked behind a tree and watched as the presumably reformed villain walked over to the statue.
Doctor Light was standing before the weeping angel statue that marked where Eric Larkin had been buried. She looked down at the inscription on the base stone, not the name and dates, but the quote that had been chosen.
"The goal isn't to live forever. The goal is to create something that will." – Chuck Palahniuk
"You left a family. Friends. People that cared about you. They all probably came to see you off. They were probably sad. They were probably crying. They shouldn't have been," she said as she tried to keep herself from crying, but failing, like she did every week. "Because you shouldn't be dead. You should still be here, retired by now, spending time with everyone you were close to."
She paused, taking a second to wipe her eyes with her sleeve. She choked out a sob and finally knelt down.
"You're here, because I didn't wanna die. But I was so scared. I had a monster after me, and I…I thought if I could just disappear, that I would be okay. But I just made myself into something almost as bad as what was gonna hunt me."
She laid the small bouquet of white tulips that she brought with her at the statue's base. She fell from a kneeling position to her knees, one hand spread out over the ground. The tears began flowing like the floodgates had been thrown open and she began to cry without shame.
"I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry."
Linda wiped away a small tear that had formed as she watched Doctor Light practically sobbing at the grave of her former boss. Her back was to the tree, so she couldn't see her walking back. Doctor Light never saw Linda either, as her head was pointed at the ground. When she saw her pass, she almost considered letting her walk away, but she needed to speak to her again.
"Kim," she shouted, surprised that she used Doctor Light's assumed name.
Doctor Light turned and saw Linda coming at her. Oh great, she thought. "What do want Linda?"
"What are you doing here?"
"Paying my respects," Doctor Light said in a flat tone.
"To Eric's grave?" Doctor Light nodded. "Why?"
Doctor Light turned away from Linda for a second and tried not to start tearing up again. "I just…I just want to say I'm sorry. So I come here every Saturday, day off or not, and hope that…I don't know, maybe I can feel better than I did the week before."
"And do you?"
"Sometimes. Other times, I think it should be me in that grave."
Linda didn't know what came over her, but for some reason, the next thing she knew, her arms were wrapped around Doctor Light's shoulders, and she was hugging her close. She could hear Doctor Light crying into her shoulder, and checked to see if any passersby were watching. Then again, we are in a cemetery, she thought, this does not look out of place.
"Come on, I'm taking you home."
Once in Linda's car, Doctor Light just laid her head back against the headrest, staring blankly out the window. She didn't pay attention to anything, just letting the breeze from the rolled down window hit her.
"Do you know a girl named Dani in your building?" Linda asked in an attempt to break the silence. Doctor Light just looked at her, not saying anything. "She looks around ten, really thin, black hair, thick glasses?"
"I, I've seen her, don't know her name."
"Well, she thought I was you. And showed me something very interesting, a video she took of a certain reformed criminal, fighting off an invading Earth-w2 meta."
"His name's Joe, likes to be called Atomic Skull."
"And you took him out, protected everyone in that building of yours."
Doctor Light shook her head. "He was gonna rat me out. I had to stop him."
"That might be what happened, in your head, but to that little girl, you were a hero. You should've seen her face when she thought I – you – were going out to stop more criminals. She looked like she was staring at the greatest person in the world."
"Kids are…"
"If you say anything mean bout her, I'm gonna smack you," Linda threatened. "You're walking around, looking for forgiveness, thinking you're nothing but a murderer. But I met someone today who thinks you're something more, a hero. One that I guarantee she'd look up to."
"I'm no hero. I'm no role model," Doctor Light said.
She kept a straight face the rest of the way, not speaking another word to Linda, but inside she was an emotional wreck. She felt like she didn't deserve to live. But a small part of her was beaming at the thought of someone thinking she was worth something, even if it was a little girl. Once she got home, Linda dropped her off and pleaded with her to call her when she felt better. Doctor Light nodded and went inside, no intention of calling even crossing her mind.
As she was walking up to her floor, a kid bumped into her on the way down. "Watch it," she scolded.
"Sorry, Doc," she heard.
She turned and looked down at the stairs, seeing a little girl with black hair and thick glasses running down them. The girl stopped and looked at Doctor Light, her brown eyes shining at the sight of her new hero. "Hope you caught some bad guys while you were out."
Doctor Light didn't get a chance to respond since Dani began running back down again. She wasted no more time getting to her apartment, leaning against the inside of her door, crying once again, this time feeling a genuine catharsis that she hadn't felt, well…ever. She immediate fished out her phone and sent a text to Linda.
I'm gonna be okay. Thank you.
The End.
