Shin's grip immediately tightened on her shoulder. She could feel his head as it looked up to peer at the man at the door. She didn't want to look herself, knowing that whatever was about to come next would not be pleasant for anyone involved. She knew Shin, and a part of her always knew, that he was not a violent person. But he would do what was necessary; foregoing any sort of discomfort he had to do what he thought needed to be done.

She tried to hold him to her, as if to stop the rippling anger from surging completely through him, and squeezed her eyes shut. It was no use. She could sense Orion's own apprehension as Shin laid her aside and stood up. She leaned back against the wall, watching him move with intense eyes, praying in silence.

"Toma…" his voice was filled with venom.

The man in question ignored his furious best friend and looked at her. "You had been so obedient lately, I thought I could take a longer trip outdoors today," he paused, a grin on his face, yellow eyes flickering dangerously, "but I suppose I was mistaken."

Shin was on him in a second. He grabbed Toma by the collar. "What were you thinking?!" Shin screamed as Toma refused to look at him. "Answer me!"

Her eyes locked on Toma's and for a very brief moment they stared at one another.

"I…" his gaze switched between clarity and cloudiness, an internal struggle waging within him. It reminded her of the time where Toma had awoken and was shocked to see her locked within a cage. What part of Toma was real? Was he aware of what he was doing, even now?

"I just wanted to protect her," he finished, switching his hardened sight onto Shin.

His arm shot out and gestured at the cage. "You call this protecting her? You locked her in a cell! Couldn't you tell how much she must have been suffering?!"

"I can't expect you to understand. Those people… they were after her. They could have hurt her. They did hurt her." He looked at her again. "I did what I thought was best for her safety." Toma's expression grew soft.

"Safety…?" Shin repeated, his voice once again back to a heated whisper. It felt like he was doing everything within his power to control himself. "Do you see her…? She's tired and weak… you were killing her. What you've done…"

She couldn't see Shin's face at this moment, but she knew if she did, they would be filled with a blackness that even the strongest man wouldn't be able to face. But Toma looked him dead in the eye and spoke as clearly and evenly as ever.

"I thought of nothing but her well-being. She wouldn't have stayed in there forever, just until things quieted dow—"

Before he could finish, Shin slammed his gloved fist into Toma's face, a loud cracking sound echoing within the small apartment.

She gasped, her fingers brought up to cup her mouth in surprise. Orion made a choking sound next to her, just as silent during the entire exchange.

At the sound of her voice, Toma looked to her and gave a strange and wistful smile.

"Look at me, you son of a bitch," Shin spit out through clenched teeth, pulling Toma back up. He expected resistance, but Toma merely fell to his knees, his face lolling to the side. Shin shook him, startled by his limp response.

"I'll accept any punishment as you deem necessary. I deserve no better." His voice sounded so final, as if he was expecting a confrontation like this eventually. He had already given up without a fight.

She watched him, an odd mix of emotions stirring within her. That sad smile he wore, it tore at her, dredging up those awful feelings of misery and pity that she felt for him; reminding her of the man behind the darkened eyes. When his face had once glowed so merrily and sly, yet so childishly kind. He really was like a big brother to her, once upon a time.

"Are you-?" Orion began, unsure of her wide-eyed expression.

Memories flooded back to her then, and with them, a strong surge of emotions. She doubled over, gripping her skull as she was bombarded with events she could not recall.

She had asked so many people regarding her unrequited feelings, gotten caught up in so many situations. Ikki's fangirls… they hated her friendship with him. All a misunderstanding. Her life before… her relationships with those around her. Toma. It had been so important to her to get answers to questions so that she may attempt to understand what to do about Toma.

Toma, her childhood friend who treated her with nothing but kindness. Toma, who held her hand and comforted her. Made her smile and laugh. The person she had known almost her entire life. The man she spent her youth with, alongside Shin, and had grown up together, enduring hardships and pain.

Sweet, foolish Toma. She looked into his eyes again as the memories swirled around in a painful amalgamation of feelings and emotions. Her head throbbed. She must have always known these feelings were there, as their return was almost of little surprise to her. This was what she was questioning these last couple days of living with him. That endearing feeling when she looked at him, or that pity…

She loved Toma with all her heart, and it pained her to see this is what he had become. This sickened lonely state…

She saw who he was… or what she thought she saw, and this wasn't the Toma she had once known.

Those dark eyes, that cruel smile… something was wrong.

Even now, she loved him. And there was a twisting in her gut as her previous feelings toward him now fought against what she was feeling now, in this very moment, as Shin raised his fist to bring it back down against Toma's accepting smile, both completely unaware of her newfound discovery.

Blood dripped slowly from his now split lip and Shin yelled at him to fight back, his fist already lowering. This wasn't what he wanted to happen either.

She was frozen in place. The memories of herself, in a past she couldn't remember, had told her too much. Barring his actions of the last couple days, was he still the Toma of the past? Could she still see that something within him? Hidden behind some dark barrier that hid everything he knew about himself?

It was there, somewhere. When the fog lifted, and clarity bloomed in his eyes, she could see the real Toma.

Except…

"And people think I'm a monster…" Shin mumbled, disheartened by his lack of response. "You won't even fight for what you believed in?"

"I know what I've done," Toma replied, his voice still steady, "and what I've done…"

… regardless of the love that she felt still pooling in her heart, making her ache with a sad longing. What he's done…

"… is unforgivable."

Shin raised his fist again and Toma's eyes fell closed to accept the blow.

"Stop!" she yelled through her tightened throat. Her hand shot out, pleadingly, and all pairs of eyes turned to look at her. She faltered and her hand fell, but conviction remained in her eyes. "Please stop…"

A brief look of surprise, and perhaps relief, passed over Shin's features as his hand fell back to his side, but the grip on Toma's collar never loosened. "Listen," he sighed, "he—"

"He needs help, Shin!" She was struggling to sit up, pushing against the pain in her body. She attempted to stand, her legs wobbly with exhaustion. She leaned against the wall.

Toma watched her with wide eyes, asking her a question she barely had an answer to. She looked to him, this time without pity.

After this day, she knew she would never be able to look at Toma the same way again. Every aspect of the love she felt would have to be set aside. She would have to turn her gaze away from him now, and forget the feelings she once held so tenderly for him.

"Help?" Shin questioned, his voice still low, "he needs to go to prison."

"If it comes down to it…" her voice cracked and wavered, her eyes flicking between her two companions. Toma had yet to say a thing. "But until then, Toma is… Toma is…" she swallowed, her fists clenched. "…our friend! And he needs help. He needs someone to talk to. I—I know he always pushes aside his true feelings. It's not healthy, it's not right…" her words trailed off.

"Even now, after everything… you still worry about him," Shin said, a flatness to his voice. It wasn't a question. She nodded. "I can't believe you…" he said before turning back to Toma. His face did little to hide his contempt for the man in his grasp. However, the searing hatred he had felt only moments before had slowly dissipated with each explosive hit. He flexed his bruised fist, cracking bone, and watched the bloodstains move within the fabric of his glove. He had done enough. He quickly released Toma and he slumped to the floor.

Shin hurried to her side, sensing she was having trouble keeping upright, and held her up by the shoulders. She looked gratefully at Shin and silently thanked him for listening to her plea. She reached out and tentatively gripped his sore hand. He couldn't look directly at her and a faint coloring flooded his cheeks.

She took a few deep breaths and walked solemnly up to Toma's crumpled form on the ground. Shin's hand briefly rose as if to stop her but instead he turned to stand back and watch. He stood at the ready, however, in case Toma were to attempt anything. An unreadable expression donned his face and he crossed his arms. He wanted desperately to leave and take her with him but was struggling hard to hold himself back. He couldn't watch her approach this man who had hurt her.

With the return of her memories, even Orion seemed to fade further into the background. He watched the exchange just as silently, his form barely casting a shadow on her world anymore. He would be gone soon.

Toma was crying. Limp hands open on his lap, his head bowed forward.

She leaned down next to him, tears blooming on her face at the prospect of what she had to do, of the feelings she had to lock inside of her heart forever. Her hands were raised, but she didn't dare touch him just yet. His head rose.

"I know you'll never forgive me for this," Toma began, his eyes clear as a pond. "I prayed for you. I wished for your happiness. Something went wrong." This was Toma speaking to her, she knew. But then again, she would soon come to realize, all parts of Toma were still just… Toma. "And I'm sorry. I don't deserve any mercy. You ought to let Shin do what needs to be done."

She reached out a shaking hand and pressed it against his wet cheek. He reared back in surprise as he had once done what felt like weeks ago. So tender, her touch grazed his skin, wiping away traces of blood and tears, and he was frozen in place. "Toma…" she said, "you must have been suffering…" Her other hand came up to briefly finger the ends of his hair, as if she were just noticing its length for the first time. He flinched minutely, but didn't pull away. "Ah- and I'm… I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner."

He resisted the urge to laugh, "You're apologizing to me? You really are a foolish girl…"

"The same foolish girl that l—" her voice stumbled over her words, "-cares about you. You don't have to keep hurting like this. Please, talk to me and Shin. Talk to someone. We will find you something that will make you feel better after all of this!"

He looked to the floor, looking so utterly defeated. Eventually he lifted his head. "I'll never feel better for as long as I have to live with what I've done," tears leaked from his eyes, "but I would have done anything and everything, even if it meant you hated me… if you could be safe." He grimaced at her sad expression and mustered a smile, "I love you. But I can't be that person anymore."

She didn't know what to say, her heart was in the process of falling apart. She was about to lose one of the people that she held most dear, but there was no other option. One couldn't possibly turn a blind eye to his actions, and she was aware enough to know this at the very least. It was the first conclusion her memory-addled mind had come to.

But she wanted to fight that sensible side of her consciousness, push it back into the corners of her being. She wanted to remember her sweet feelings, and those alone. The innocent love that led her to make so many silly choices. She clung to them almost desperately, but they were already gone. "Toma…"

He looked down at his hands and then glanced at the cage, a darkened glare passing over his sight. "Shin's right… I am a monster. Please stop me before I do anything more." At that moment, he turned to Shin and nodded in his direction. Shin's mouth was set in a hard line, having been trying with difficulty to ignore the scene before him. But he saw Toma's pleading gaze and nodded in return. They had a bond that couldn't be severed, an understanding that was still unwavering even in the face of such a massive betrayal.

Toma held his hands out in front of him, pressing them together at the wrist. Wordlessly, Shin pushed himself off the wall and walked to the other side of the room to pick up the handcuffs he found while tearing the place apart. Shin placed the cuffs over his wrists as Toma grinned and got to his feet. She watched the whole exchange with an open-mouthed expression.

"You've always gotten the best of me, haven't you? You could always manage to do things that I couldn't. Even now…" Toma grinned at Shin who was still failing to completely look at him, "Watch over her with everything you have, or I will be the one that will never forgive you."

"…You're a bigger idiot than I thought if you think you have any right to say that to me," Shin said after a moment, "but I will." His shoulders began to tremble.

She turned back to Toma and glanced at his now cuffed hands. She knew he wouldn't do anything more, even if he wanted to. But she herself was pained to see him go to such lengths to stop himself. Pure anguish swam in his crystallized expression but he still wore such an overbearing grin of acceptance. It tugged at her, hurt her, and there was still so little she could do now to soothe him.

Where did they go from here?

"Toma!" she called, not knowing what she wanted to say. He peered at her expectantly and any and all words she had reserved for his ears were lost. "I—I could never hate you."

He let out a small chuckle, his features growing warm at her delicate admission. "Dummy," was all he said, unspoken meaning in his eyes. She hesitated, more words dying on her tongue.

Forgive me.

Toma walked towards his shattered door and turned back to look at his companions, both of whom were struggling with their own internal thoughts. He tugged at his handcuffs to remind them of the current situation. He was calm. An outward appearance he had perfected over the years. Generous and serious Toma. Protector. Failure.

"Shall we?" he said with practiced ease, his smile barely faltering.


AN: Curtail- 'reduce in extent or quantity; impose a restriction on; deprive someone of (something).'

Interpret that as you will...

Hey everyone! Thanks for reading. Sorry if some of you were expecting some sort of happy ending, but the summary itself should've warned you, haha.

Anyway, here is the thing about Toma... I LOVED him in Shin's, Ikki's, and Kent's route. I couldn't wait to play his. I loved how sweet and caring he was without expecting anything in return. His route started off fairly cute with his obvious concern for her while hiding his true intentions... then... the days where she started sleeping all day happened. And everything I loved about Toma came crashing down.

To be honest, I GET the appeal. That kind of dangerous yandere guy is appealing and fun in its own way. But I was so surprised by the twist in his personality, that even I felt betrayed! I knew in Shin's route that he was trouble but the CAGE was pushing it. I could almost forgive the pills, but the cage was too much. If anyone ever did that to me... it was just too dark and disturbing. And when the heroine actually gets with him even AFTER his almost attempted assault after stripping her clothes off? I felt like I wasn't even playing the game anymore. She was off on her own, forgiving a guy for locking her in a cage, such an honestly disturbing and horrifying experience to be LOCKED away. I would be scarred for life if I was her. And yet, nah, nothing happens, zero consequences or lessons learned. I could forgive Toma's route even more if he just GOT HELP in the end. That pained me the most. Toma obviously needed some guidance. Who knows what he would do if the Heroine ever pissed him off or if they broke up or something? And don't even get me started on the bad ending...

2 scary.

Well, I've gone on too long. Let me know what you all think! Would love to discuss some more about his character. This was just a little story I felt I needed to write. Hope the other Amnesia games get localized... Thanks again!