Learning to Live

Summary: Life from Haibara\Shiho`s point of view. She had 'studied' in her first life, but 'learned' in her second. And learning is a million times better.


Haibara Ai or Miyano Shiho (if you would like to accurately call her), never had believed in supernatural, she outright rejected the thought itself.

And by supernatural, she did not mean vampires or witches or anything outrageously unbelievable. What she meant was something as simple as fate, belief; something that according to her was concocted by, and for the religious fanatics. Besides, she was anything but religious.

For anyone who has seen more evil than goodness, who is deeply scientific and analytical, it is understood. Perhaps it made it easier to live. There is no room for reason without evidence.

She did not understand those that put their hopes in red-threads and holy-waters, those that peacefully went to sleep believing in miracles; who did nothing but still hoped for everything.

Her Pandora box had long ago spilled its contents, including 'hope'. During the first few months as Haibara Ai, she would bitterly laugh at the word. 'Hope' was not supposed to exist. It was deceiving, was poisonous, it had killed her, almost.

She had never understood why her sister was always so lively, so carefree and happy even after knowing about Black Organization, even after witnessing the blackness and grime of the world, even after losing their parents, even after facing heartbreak and betrayal.

She had never understood Kudo Shinichi, could never comprehend his sense of `justice`. Who puts his own life in danger and saves the girl that was the reason of havoc in his life? Who tries to save a man that was about to kill him seconds ago? Who values life so much that he saves killers, murderers, all sort of psychos just so that he can bring proper justice to them? Who takes on the brunt of this evil merciless world and still maintain a clean lawful heart!

She had never understood Mouri Ran, could never comprehend her level of kindness and courage. Who jumps in a rain of bullets, shields and protects a girl that had taken away her most precious person? Who can be the embodiment of peace, angelic gentleness and brute strength at the same time? Who can still smile and be strong even while facing endless despairs.

Life has its own unique way to teach us, unexpected and sudden. Who would have thought that it would be Ayumi who would finally make her understand.

.0.

Life is strange, had always been.

She would be finally taught, she had never known;

A little angelic soul inculcated

The secret of serenity, demonstrated.

A grateful oath murmured in the air,

As she stepped out of the lair.

To not hide and run is the real courage

Faith seeped in, Happiness cleared the message.

Learning to live by living to learn,

Giving, gratitude and concern.

Life is still strange, will always remain

Belief, O puzzled soul, is the way to attain.

.0.

Haibara Ai or Miyano Shiho, still did not believe in the supernatural.

But now, she believed in belief, in faith; for what we believe in undeniably happens, for miracles can happen as long as faith is there. For hope is the reason of our continuous struggle; and trust, the basis of our hope.

It had taken an awful lot of time for a genius like her to understand this. A second childhood again; and now she could comprehend happiness, now she was able to fight her own darkness, was able to hope, trust and love.

Now, she was learning to live. And learning was a million times better.


A/N: I personally feel that Haibara is a very interesting character, and this is exactly how my head has figured out her development. In the manga, one of her best, truest smile that was drawn was when she comes out after turning down the witness protection program ( I have used 'lair' for rhyming purpose).

PS: Special thanks again to all of you who take your precious time to read, view, follow, fav and review my stories! I would be extremely grateful if you would constructively criticize at this, and tell me how it resonates with you!