A/N So the song in this chapter is "Girl" by Beck. I got the idea while I was listening to it. I hope you enjoy it! Review please.

The summer before I left for the Horcrux hunt was probably the best summer of my short life so far. Minus the fact that I couldn't actually date Ginny Weasley, she made everything else a little bit more worthwhile. The first time I saw her that summer had been at Bill and Fleur's wedding.

"I saw her"

Mr. Weasley had decided to bring home some muggle contraptions from his job that would help the guests enjoy themselves. What he had neglected to realize was that wizards didn't understand unenchanted muggle devices very well. I saw, or rather heard Ginny from the other side of the house where I had been getting some punch. I could hear loud banging and terrible curing issuing from around the corner.

"Yea I saw her with her black tongue tied round the roses"

I walked around the corner slowly and poked my head through some rose bushes, careful not to get pricked. She stood in a golden bridesmaid's dress that didn't leave as much up to the imagination as her five older brothers (minus Percy) would have liked. I however, liked it just fine. The light caught on her in that moment and even though she was swearing and cursing it looked like she was reflecting the sun off of herself despite her fake jewelry and pretty golden dress. Her red hair was all shiny and her eyes were angry and golden.

"A fist pounding on a vending machine

Toy diamond ring stuck on her finger"

In that moment all I wanted to do was touch her but I knew I couldn't because well…because we weren't together anymore and I was going to leave anyways, maybe forever, I didn't really know, and I couldn't do that to her, I couldn't leave her like that.

I walked up to her and gently pulled her away from the vending machine by her shoulders and pushed the correct button, giving the machine a soft kick and handing her the muggle soft drink. She blushed a bit when she looked at me and scowled at the machine.

That summer Ginny Weasley was the brightest thing around for miles. She was the hidden peace in the most hectic of times. Boy could she glow. Maybe I was the only one who saw it, but sometimes I wished she wasn't so bright. I wished she didn't' glow so much because it made her special It made her a target.

"With a noose she can hang from the sun."

But there she was, this resilient irrepressible thing, who could threaten with a glare and soften with a glance, and it broke my heart a little to know that she wouldn't be happy for very much longer. She could fight anything, but she couldn't fight this, what was about to come, because I knew she couldn't stand being left behind.

"And put it out with her dark sunglasses"

I had determined that this specific summer was going to be my last farewell to fun before I bore the beast of responsibility and made life difficult for everyone else. It only gets worse before it gets better. That summer though, it was like the golden age of some fallen and forgotten empire, a plateau of excellence before the sharp decline to rock solid bottom.

Everyone seemed to know I would be leaving at the end of the summer, but no one ever really mentioned anything or even knew why except for Ron and Hermione who would, of course be going with me. It was a shame to leave everyone in the dark. They all knew, though. They all knew that I was going and they decided to make my last hurrah a little more worthwhile.

I have quick memories of happy times. Of climbing trees with the Weasley brothers, and hearing Hermione yell about how unsafe it all was, while Ginny had already beaten us to the top. I remember watching the girls laze out by a lazy river out behind the Burrow and sharing my admiration for the fairer sex with Ron. There were clear days and starry nights with bugs and rustles and summertime music. I remember waking up to Ginny singing in the shower and maybe thinking about more scandalous and entirely forbidden thoughts. I remember Quidditch, the time that Fred had knocked me off of my broom and Ginny had dove spectacularly to catch me.

There were muggle fireworks one night and I remember traveling a town over for no reason at all besides the fact that it was summer and fireworks and summer and pretty girls went nicely together. I can recall Ginny illuminated under the reds and blues of the sky with the crashes in the background and how I had almost kissed her. I'll just have to remember it and wish it could have happened.

Then there was the day at the beach. We had arrived there, Ron, Hermione, Bill, George, Ginny and I midmorning and quickly constructed our camp with umbrellas (Hermione's doing, and a bit of mine too) and towels. As soon as we had set up, Ginny raced me to the shore, winning with an unfair head start, she dove into the surf and rode the waves all the way back to me. I suppose that's how things were, one of us would dive in, but I had to hope (I needed to hope) that things would be brought back to the way that they were supposed to be. She ran our onto the sand stumbling about and tried to pull me forward with her, into an area further down the beach where the water was full of gross seaweed because she knew I didn't like it between my toes and underfoot.

"Walking crooked down the beach"

I spashed her, and got salt water into her mouth. She retaliated by dunking my head under and running out of the water to spit on the sand. She didn't really care much for acting like a girl while Hermione lay next to a napping Ron, tanning and reading a book.

"She spits on the sand

Where their bones are bleaching"

We slept on the beach that night, with a bonfire and the stars.

It was all about impressing her that summer. In fact it was all about her that summer, because after that I had to act like I didn't care, I had to act like a dispassionate fool who didn't care enough to give away any information in the off chance that she was captured by Death Eaters. I didn't want her to get hurt again like Voldermort had hurt her before. She was my weakness, my Achilles' heal and I couldn't risk the enemy knowing about that. Until the time I had to leave though, it was all about Ginny Weasley.

"And I know I'm gonna steal her eye"

I wish I could have told her about everything I was thinking and feeling and why I had to go, I wanted to make her understand. I knew she was being very understanding by not forcing me to stay. She knew that if she asked me to stay I wouldn't go, and I had to go for everyone else. Ginny wasn't selfish.

"She doesn't even know what's wrong"

I couldn't risk caring about her. I already did care though, I just couldn't show it.

"And I know I'm gonna make her die

And take her where her soul belongs"

I tried all sorts of things to impress her. I read books she had read so I could talk to her about them. I followed all of her favorite quidditch teams. I incessantly pumped Ron for information that would make her laugh or just teach me more about her. I would practice flying when I knew she was watching to appear impressive. I know I was foolish, but I just couldn't help it.

"And I know I'm gonna steal her eye

Nothing that I wouldn't try."

The summer suited her. The summer suited us; I just wish we could have been more. I wish I could have been more. I will always take away with me though, that image of her with the sun in her eyes when I knew she was angry and when I knew she was beautiful and burning. I knew she was scalding.

"Hey my sun-eyed girl

Hey my sun-eyed girl

My sun-eyed girl

Hey my sun-eyed girl"

Just when everything was going well, just when I was making my peace and starting to plan my journey ahead is when everything started to go wrong for me, but for a while it was so good. Then the nightmares started.

"I saw her"

Terrible visions came to me that woke me up in cold sweats. Images of Ginny dying, of her being tortured or burned of her trying to escape, or her running away or being hurt. I had images of myself giving in to save her, but most of all; I had images of her not waiting around for me, of her just moving on.

"Yea I saw her

With her hands tied back

Rags a' burnin'"

I could hear her screams in my ears and would wake up just to peak into her room to see that she was still there, breathing steadily.

"Calling out from a landfilled life"

I could see her writing her last goodbyes to her family. I knew she had to leave something to remember her by, she was that kind of person. Even in my dreams she was vivid and true.

"Scrawlin' her name upon the ceiling

Throw a coin in a fountain of dust"

Suddenly things weren't as peaceful anymore. As I began packing for my trip the golden age began to ebb. Mrs. Weasley became more frantic as everyone began to realize more was afoot behind the scenes in their own home.

"White noise

Bells are ringing"

Death Eater attacks were increasing and I felt the pressing need to leave. It would be easiest not to say goodbye.

"Got a ticket for my midnight hanging"

We had decided to leave in the dead of night with no one to stop us, and nothing to explain. People would understand that it was necessary and we would probably be back to celebrate Christmas, hopefully with a good chunk of progress accomplished.

With my bags packed and my heart sealed shut we (Ron, Hermione and I) made our way down from Ron's attic room to the lower levels of the house with one last quiet look around as we proceeded. I stopped outside of Ginny's room to peak in only to realize she was missing. Ron and Hermione had already gone ahead and when I looked up she was standing across from me in the hallway. Her white night gown fluttered softly around her legs and the expression on her face is one that remains seared into the back of my eyelids that will forever haunt me. She looked wild, her face alight and hair messy, and all at once it all went out of her like someone had punched her in the stomach. She knew what we were doing, she knew that we were leaving her and she hadn't been meant to figure things out until the following morning. She didn't cry though. She didn't smile or laugh or move at all. She didn't say anything. She just looked at me with hollow eyes that were watery but still and I knew she could take it. I never doubted it.

I stepped forward to hug her but she took a step back and crossed her arms. She looked so meek and strange, for Ginny Weasley was never meek and certainly never frightened. The seal over my heart almost burst for when I took another step forward, she stepped aside motioning with her hands that I was supposed to go forward. There were no words.

"Throw a bullet from a freight train leaving"

And so I dove in again, forging forward and hoping that my trail would lead me back like a boomerang or the surf or even like the circle of life, because I fully expected to be dead by now. Maybe though, maybe when it's all done I'll be alive and selfish. Maybe she'll wait for me. Maybe I'll marry her or even just have her as mine and be able to touch her and look at her without drawing any suspicions.

"And I know I'm gonna steal her eye

She doesn't even know what's wrong

And I know I'm gonna make her die

And take her where her soul belongs

And I know I'm gonna steal her eye

Nothing that I wouldn't try"

I had to come back though, I didn't try to leave a legacy but I would. Maybe my dream Ginny had some good idea; to leave a bit behind that way you have something to come back to. Maybe that's what I was supposed to learn. Either way, I know I have to come back, at least one last time, but who knows how long that will be really.

"Hey my sun-eyed girl

Hey my sun-eyed girl

My sun-eyed girl

Hey my sun-eyed girl"

Ginny was like my drug, like my poison. I couldn't stay away and it was a fatal attraction literally.

"Hey my sun-eyed girl

Hey my sun-eyed girl

My cyanide girl

Hey my sun-eyed girl"

Maybe in the end the gold and the glitter and the beauty would rub off on me. Until then I would have one gorgeous summer to remember before I took the plunge, before I had to be the hero.