Tales of The Awkward: Chapter Five: Back & Forth On The Fourth (Of July)

Chrome Notes: Yes... We are all aware that it's a month or so after the fact... Your point being?


As far as Ron Stoppable was concerned, this was the finest time of the year.

School was coming to an end, the heat (and humidity) of summer weather was in full swing, and best of all, there was no way that he was going to summer school. All that considered, the highlight of his summer was always Independence Day. The young man loved fireworks, and there was nothing he would rather do than to spend ID4 with his best friend, Kim. In fact, there was absolutely nothing he thought of doing other than that. It was like, tradition; The Possible-Stoppable family barbecue, which was followed up by watching the fireworks display at Middleton Park. This would be the tenth consecutive year that Kim and himself did this, which made it extra special. It was said that this year's display was going to be utterly spectacular.

Unfortunately for the oblivious blond, he didn't know that this year, Tradition was going to be taken to the woodshed and was going to be savagely beaten to within an inch of its life.


"What do you mean you're not going to able to make it?" He asked Kim, in about seven layers of despair.

See what we mean?

Why did so many scenes of outbursts and outrage take place at Bueno Nacho? On the flip side, Kim didn't expect Ron to take it this hard. It looked as if some things in fact, didn't change. Ron always made a big deal about July Fourth and the fireworks. Either way, she was even more anxious to actually tell Ron exactly why she wasn't going to be able to make it.

Ron knew that Kim was a busy girl, but this was ridiculous. Plans on the fourth... of freaking July?

"Come on, K.P.! You gotta reschedule... or cancel... or something!"

"I'm sorry, Ron. But I just... can't," She said solemnly.

"You can't? B-But..."

The blond paused for a moment. This may have not been the work of Kim, but the work of Vince, Kim's crush for the semester (Or at least for the Summer.). He had known that a week or so back she had to cancel on him for some 'saving the world' business. But this was more important! This was tradition! And... His thoughts were sounding a lot like those of Senor Senior Sr. with all the talk of tradition and what-not...

Vince Vinson was just another one of those boys. Straight out of the Josh Mankey School of laid-back, relaxed, let-it-flow, artsy types that his best friend seemed to go for. What in the heck did she see in these guys? For once, he would just like to see the girl get with a nice, brawny, big ol' football player.

But that wasn't the point.

"...Never mind," Ron said with a resigning sigh.

Kim was taken aback a little bit. Of all the changes that Ron made over the past few months, it was nice to see that he was becoming more mature, which surprised her.

"Sooo, you're not mad at me?" She asked hopefully.

Actually, Ron wasn't mad at her... Crushingly disappointed would just about cover the spread. In his younger days, he did a fairly miserable job of covering up his emotions... Today may have been the exception.

"No," The blond said, his voice low as a whisper. "I-It's cool."

He wondered if Kim actually believed it. Because right about now, the blond wasn't exactly believing himself.

"Are you sure?"

'NO!'

"Yeah, K.P. It's all good," The blond said, his voice almost back to its normal tone.

"All good," Rufus, the former absentee naked mole rat repeated.

Kim was relieved that Ron had understood. She leaned forward and planted a peck on the blond's cheek.

"You're the best," She said, waving goodbye to her now perplexed sidekick.

"Yeah... The best..." The sidekick said distractedly as he kept his hand glued to his recently pecked cheek. Darn that Kim! He was sooo upset with her a minute ago, then she had to go and...


"...Kiss me on the cheek and tell me that I'm the best," He said to his pet rodent. Rufus replied with a concurring chatter.

"Darn girls... They know just what to do to make you... Not mad at them," he raved. "I hate that!"

His walk home consisted of stormy thoughts such as these. How could she know exactly what to do whilst he was fuming? Why would she do that? Tradition had just broken as he knew earlier this afternoon and all he thinks about was the unexpected show of affection from Kim! He should be furious with her, but all he was right now was confused out of his mind.

'Another awkweird moment in the books,' he thought with an exasperated chuckle.

After that incident no more than six months back, Ron was very weary of closeness and these awkweird happenings that went on from time to time in the span of this half of the year. He undoubtedly recalled the... embarrassment of explaining to Kim what exactly was in his pants that day.

"A roll of quarters..." Who would possibly believe that?

The blond threw himself onto his bed. Why was this so blasted confusing? Certainly Kim was cute...

More.

Attractive?

More.

He wasn't going to say the 'B' word. Though it was his preferred adjective to describe his red-haired best friend. He knew that he was almost sixteen and dead in the middle of puberty... All well and good. But this was ridiculous! He couldn't be crushing on Kim... It was illegal, unlawful, and that kind of stuff only happened at the tail end of teen sitcoms!

His head was throbbing with tension. He didn't want to ruminate on this any further. So, clearing his messy bed of all its contents, Ron laid down, hoping and a-wishing that said teen heroine wouldn't be the subject of his subconscious.

A resounding ring jarred the blond out of his fitful sleep. Perhaps if he was going to sleep off his tensions, maybe he should've turned off all the appliances.

Hindsight was 20/20 after all.

The cordless phone on his desk continued to annoyingly ring. He hoped that his mom or dad would pick up... He wasn't exactly in the mood to answer a phone, or anything else for that matter... It could've been the president of the free United States on the other line and the blond wouldn't care to pick up.

All of a sudden, the ringing stopped. Someone either picked up or gave up.

The sidekick relaxed once again. He needed some good rest, he deserved it didn't he?

"Ronald, its Kimberly," His mother called from downstairs.

Kimberly? Who was Kimberly? Ron didn't know of anyone named Kimber--

Oops.

The blond quickly began to panic. He didn't want to speak to her! Not now... Or for the next couple of days in that regard. His mind raced furiously. He had to make up some sort of excuse... And quick.

"Tell her I'm not here!" He called out.

"Ron, I can hear you," he heard the voice of his best friend say.

The blond slammed his open palm into his forehead. The freakin' speakerphone!


Critical Error 112: Caught In a Lie

Symptoms: Immense sweating, and nervous laughter with severe repercussions. Certain Death if not treated within 10 - 20 seconds.


If one had thought the mind of Stoppable was running laps before, it was doing a freakin' marathon now. He scraped, scuffled, dug, and entrenched his way into finding an answer to his error that he made a moment ago.

"Ron, why didn't you want to talk?" The concerned voice of Kim asked.

It was almost like she was in the room right with him. Staying frozen like a statue of anxiety wasn't going to save him. Speaking up and muttering unintelligible gibberish wasn't going to save him. He was pretty sure that not even Superman (Out in theaters now), could save him. Woe was him...

Was it?

Like a dim light bulb springing to an incredible 100 watts, Ron got an idea.

"I-I didn't want to talk b-because I was... sleeping. Yeah, sleeping," he said. "You know how I get when I'm groggy... eh, right?"

All he could do was hope like hell that Kim was buying this.

"You were? Oh..." She paused on the other line. "Sorry I woke you," she said apologetically.

Success. A small success, but success nevertheless. Despite that, the blond was curious as to why she had called him so late in the evening. It was 8:30 and he was wide awake.

"Sooo... why'd you call me up, K.P.? W-What's the sitch?"

"Oh... I wanted to know if you had any plans for tomorrow."

Perhaps this was Kim atoning for the wrongdoing that was dumping tradition. Maybe he shouldn't have blurted out that he didn't have plans so quickly. Maybe...

"Good... I was wondering if you could meet me at the mall..."


Error 603B: Accompanying Friend That's a Girl to the Mall

Symptoms: Heavy lifting, nagging, bag carrying for up to six hours without suitable rest. After six hours, the fatigue can rapidly turn into extremity dismemberment, and in some cases, death can occur.

Diagnosis: Most experts know it when they see it.

Treatment: Appointment with local chiropractor.


Ron paused, fearing the worst if he was to not decline this offer. Any excuse to not go would do wonders for him right now. Anything... The Flu, The Bends, Twenty-four hour bug, Yellow Fever, Severe Hiccups... Anything!

He paused for a moment, imagining telling his world-defending best friend that he couldn't accompany her because he had severe hiccups.. Ridiculous.

It had been about ten seconds since Kim asked him... His system was crashing faster than Windows ME... He had to say something.

"Ron, are you there?" The voice from the speakerphone asked.

"Uh... Yeah... I just had to uh... check my schedule."

"And?"

Another one of those moments of truths. Wait a minute, Truths?

Lie, Ron! Lie!

"And... I'm free tomorrow."

It must've taken Ron about ten seconds to realize what he had just said.

His realization wasn't exactly of a silent ilk. "SON OF A..."

"Ron! Are you OK?"

"Yeah... I just... stubbed my toe."

That was a good lie... now only if the boy did the same thing ten seconds ago, he'd be in Victory City, but noooooo...

"Are you going to be OK?"

"Of course... I'm cool as a cucumber," the sidekick said, forcing an energetic tone. How cool was a cucumber, exactly?

"All right, then. I'll see you tomorrow,"

"Yeah, to-tomorrow."

"Good night, Ron."

"Good night, K.P."

He didn't bother much to turn the speakerphone off after the girl had hung up. This was just great... The fourth with Kim was off, and now he was going to be dragged off to the mall... This was shaping up to be the worst weekend he had ever had since The Noodle Incident.

"I don't care... No one can prove I did that."


Ron Stoppable presents: Things less painful than going to the mall with Kim.

1. Watching 'rents reminisce about the 'Good ol' Days.'

2. Having 'rents show relatives and otherwise baby pictures of himself; Embarrassing, Yes. But not exactly painful

3. Tonsillectomy; Child's Play, in comparison to...

4. Taking an Extra-Strength Flu Shot: Only hurts upon contact.

5. Listening to a Yung JOC CD: Hmmm... That's about equal.


None of the above was happening to him right now, because at this very moment, the bumbling sidekick had been busy doing what he did best; Wait around and do nothing.

Another bugaboo the blond had was the terrors of the dressing room. If it was a six-hour day at the mall, at least two would be spent waiting for his best friend come out of the dressing room. Worst of all, she would ask him of all people of his opinion. Seriously, did it not matter that Kim was already a breathtakingly beautiful young woman as it is?

Oops... The blond let it slip. He mentally gave himself a punch to the face.

Bad Ron! Can't think about her like that! Just... can't! What if she was reading his mind right now? He'd be in stew city!

"Hey, Ron? I need your opinion on something..."

The blond cringed. He knew what he had mistakenly got into. In his confused state, he couldn't decide whether he should go over there. He also couldn't decide whether or not to fake a traumatic injury.

"Ron?"

"Coming..."

Indeed the die was cast. However, the blond felt that he was ready for whatever that was going to be thrown at him.

"Uh, Kim?"

On cue, the dressing room door opened.

"What do you think of this...?"

Oh... Dear... God. OK... forget what he just said. He was ready for everything, except this...

There she was... standing tall in the darkest, shortest, most form-fitting, leg-revealing dress that he had ever seen in his life. He felt lightheaded all of a sudden, and his mouth became as dry as the Sahara. Looking her over once again, this time in an excruciatingly slow fashion, he deducted that he honestly didn't know where the dress stopped and her legs began. Visions like her making 'come here' gestures and winking lasciviously at him began to frequently pop up within seconds... He remembered how he wasn't going allow himself to think his best friend that way, which was just about, say... two minutes ago -- Well, that was clear out the window now. The hapless boy rubbed his eyes, and rubbed his eyes once again, followed by... you guessed it; Rubbing his eyes for a third time. Yep, he was in the here and now. Maybe it was him, but the girl almost looked like she was glowing...

...Uh-oh... She was looking a bit strange at him. Perhaps it may have been because he was looking at her with his mouth wide open... or maybe how wide his eyes were at the present time... and... Oh My Goodness Gracious, his roll of quarters may have very well been standing at attention as well.

Boy was he in trouble now... She was about to speak.

"You don't think this is too... you know, skanky, do you?"

Ron's jaw locked up... and then quickly unlocked.

"N-N-N-N-No," he stuttered stupidly.

"Really? I think it's a bit too short..." She said, attempting to pull the hemline of the dress further down.

"Actually, I don't think it's short enough..."

"What?"


Critical Error 110EX-B: Severe slip of the tongue.

You know what? When this happens, don't expect to live a normal life ever again.


The blond couldn't cover his mouth fast enough... but it was already too late. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of his mind, stood his perverted side... and how the hell could he allow that side to take control of him NOW? It was the second time he temporarily lost his mind, and he was sure this time it was going to cost him, big time.

Both stood there in silence for several moments. The sidekick felt like he wanted to absolutely disappear. What with his best friend staring at him and... Laughing?

Was he imagining things again?

Apparently Not.

There she was... little black dress and all, laughing at him.

"Eh...?"

"Way to play the role of a typical guy, Ron. I almost believed you there," she explained in between giggles.

The boy stood there speechless as the girl disappeared behind the dressing room door once again. He couldn't believe it! He was actually being let off the hook once again. How could the girl not totally yell, scream, or even scold at him. Maybe it was the fact that he was receiving the all-powerful, extra-strength benefit of the doubt... Either way, right now he felt like he was the luckiest guy on the face of the planet.

For once, he knew how it felt like to be O.J. Simpson.


How many bullets was the blond going to dodge before the jig was up?

Yes, the rest of the afternoon went off rather smoothly. But, things got a lot more unnerving for Ron Stoppable. He was up late that night thinking about what had transpired that afternoon, as well as all the iffy goings-on that had happened between them. It wasn't as if the young man wasn't nervous when he pressed his shaking lips to the girl's cheek a month or so back. Either way, given the situation, he would wager that his best friend would have handled it a lot better than he did. Heck... with all the awkward actions that were going in the past few months, what were the chances of Kim feeling the same way that he did?

'Slim and none,' the boy thought, taking a deep sigh.

Heck, here it was, the Fourth of July, and she was on a date with Vince. And where was he this night? Holed up in his room, of course.

Of course? Wait a cotton-picking'...

...He couldn't let the Fourth go down like this...

Immediately shaking away his three-day spell of listlessness, he grabbed a clean shirt, a nice pair of pants, and Rufus, of course, Ron zipped out of the house. This was his favorite holiday that wasn't in December, dammit! Just because Kim wasn't around this particular night didn't mean that he had to be miserable, confused, and alone!

Right?


If he had only knew...

If Ron had only knew of where exactly she was right now. Well, there wasn't that much of a secret to where she was because she was at home. Home from her date with Vince. She felt that it went well enough, but there was just something wrong about it. She couldn't exactly put her finger on it.

Maybe Guilt?

It wasn't the way that she looked. She certainly knocked the young man's socks off with that little number she brought last weekend... So that wasn't the case.

How about guilt from breaking tradition...

It wasn't Vince. He seemed very much into her... So why did she have this nagging urge in her?

What about Ron?

What about Ron? The fourth didn't mean much to him... Did it? He seemed OK with it when she broke it to him that Friday afternoon. Then again, the blond did have a pretty good history of hiding his emotions to her. Now that he had more of mature attitude at the present time, however, did he do the same thing? If it did mean that much to him, she definitely would have postponed on Vince.

You're a bad liar.

The redhead felt queasy all of a sudden. She could read the blond like a book on most occasions, did she miss the signal?

Apparently.

She quickly had a flashback of this past Spring Break. She remembered how Ron, reputable to the popular people and all, dropped what he was doing and followed her along when she got an unsuspecting call from Wade. It wasn't anything major, but Ron still insisted. He was so fiercely loyal that way... whether change or no change.

It wasn't too late... She took a look at the digital clock, which read 9:45PM.

She didn't even know whether or not he was there, but something in her told her to just go.

The redhead was just about down the stairs when she had almost forgotten...

She needed a quick change of clothes… Imagine if her dad caught her wearing that black dress.


The Independence Day fireworks certainly did some good for Rufus, and about the eighty or so spectators that were there. As for his blond owner, however, not so much. He knew that should have been in awe of the radiant explosions in the sky, but no matter how much he tried to will himself into thinking he was having a good time, his thoughts just drifted back to that near-miss that occured over the weekend.

The boy chuckled to himself momentarily, all the radiant fireworks for him were provided that Saturday.

He looked into the navy blue sky... and not exactly at the fireworks either. What the heck was he going to do about this? What good could his friendship with Kim be if he kept thinking about her in that light? Problem was, he couldn't just turn his emotions on and off like the perennial light switch, it was going to be a long and slow progress to attempt to de-crush on Kim, if at all. In fact, he was almost relieved that she wasn't here with him.

"...Hey..."

Both Ron and Rufus turned around to face who was trying to get their attention.

Hmm... What do you know? It was Kim. That's nice.

Agh! Wait... Kim?

Maybe it was his thought process or something else, but at the very sight of the auburn-haired girl, his head started to hurt... a lot. He got a bit weak at the knees, and disorientation began to set in.

He was soooo confused right now.

"K... uh, er... w-what are you doing here?" He asked, fumbling over his words.

"I came home early from... Out of town," she said.

The blond, perhaps from the surprise of his best friend even being here didn't catch the pause in her explanation. "Why? Was e-everything OK?"

"Yeah," she answered. The girl moved a bit closer, ignoring the butterflies that were growing within her. "Besides, who am I to interrupt tradition, hm?"

The answer was substantial enough... But why the heck did she have to wink at him? A pang of dizziness began to strike him. Both remained silent for a minute or so.

"Uh... Can we sit down?" He asked. "I'm a little on the tired side."

"Sure," Kim answered.

She led the way to the green park bench. Both sat down at the same time. After the short spell of discombobulation, Ron felt re-energized again... Was it all because of her?

Couldn't have been... He took a glance at her while she wasn't looking... OK... It was all because of her. As she turned in his direction, he looked back toward the sky.

"Ohh! That was a good one!" The sidekick yelled. "Bon-diggity."

Kim couldn't help but grin at her best friend and partner. His youthful exuberance was just too darn infectous. His eyes were practically glued to the brightening sky. She scooted closer to her sidekick to try and take in his aura. Be it tradition or whatever it was, it was evident to her that this was where she wanted to be; on a park bench with her sidekick, staring at explosions in the sky. She couldn't put her finger on it, but for the first time, she believed that there may very well be something between herself and Ron.

It wasn't a crush... It wasn't attraction. It was...

"Fireworks," she said to herself.

"Uh... Did you say something?" Ron asked.

"No," she said with a smile.

Indeed... Fireworks definitely fit the description.


End of Chapter 5

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