Tales of The Awkward: Introduction to Chapter Seven
"Hello, once again, ladies and gentlemen! This is your PA Announcer, Mitchell Bluffer! We would like to welcome you once again to the World's Finest Arena, also known as, the Possible's Baaaaaasement! And now, without further ado, the moment you've all been waiting for; Theeeee Maaaaaaain Event!"
The capacity crowd rose an octave in anticipation. The moment had finally arrived. Large flashbulbs went off at the drop of a dime as the baritone announcer continued his address.
"Introducing the challenger..."
The crowd mutters a bit, a few scattered boos could also be heard in the mix of reactions.
"...In the far corner, in the black trunks, from Middleton, USA, standing five-feet-ten inches tall, weighing in at an even one-hundred fifty pounds, maintaining seventeen wins, seventeen losses, and five knockouts; He is the duke of descending trousers, he is the sidesplitting sidekick, he is the bringer of boo-yah, he is the maximum, mystifying master of Mystical Monkey Power... He is Ron Stoppable!"
The blond presents himself to the crowd. Once again, there's a mix of sentiment within the ranks of the audience. Either way, the confident sidekick shows off his vim and vigor by issuing some quick shadow punches before raising both of his arms in a mock victory pose.
"And now..."
Just upon those two words alone, the audience really began to get into it. No doubt, the volume level of the basement had reached its highest point at that very moment.
"..Introducing the champion! In the near corner, in that ravishing little black dress, also from Middleton, USA, standing five-foot-nine inches tall in those lovely boots she's wearing, weighing in at a firm, luscious, scintillllating one-hundred twenty-eight pounds, maintaining sixty-six wins, two losses, and four-hundred seventy-six knockouts, not including the fact that she's one herself..."
Ron gulped.
"...She is the ringleader of rescues, she is the red-haired renaissance, she is the crown mistresss of Middleton, she is the savior of the Walt Disney Corporation, she is portrait of personified pugilist perfection, she is that lass who can most certainly kick your ass, she is the Killigan killer, the Shego stopper, and of course, the Drakken destroyer! She is, simply put, the girl who can do annnnnnythiiiiing...!"
Instantaneously, the capacity crowd reached a fever pitch. Ron just stood there, away from the spotlight, silently saying a prayer, and counting his blessings... How the hell did he get tricked into doing this?
"...She is, Kiiiiiim Possible!"
The spotlight fell upon the girl, who only waved shyly to the enamored audience. Still, though, the cheers only got louder and louder. The blond stared at his fan-favorite opponent... How the heck was he going to attempt to hit someone who was so... drop-dead gorgeous? The girl turned toward his corner. As if she was reading his thoughts, the auburn-haired girl winked at him before blowing a deliberate kiss in his direction.
'Oh, look at that... I haven't even taken a punch and I've got a nosebleed,' the blond thought derisively.
The official ushered both contenders toward the middle of the ring as the audience calmed down, but was still abuzz. Ron took a good look at the official, and almost lost his mind...
...When it just happened to be Mr. Dr. Possible. The blond felt a twinge of dizziness as the makeshift ref went over the rules.
"I want a good clean fight, you two. No hitting below the belt or headbutting... Unless you really want to, Kimmie-Cub."
"Wha?" Ron interceded.
"Thanks, daddy," the redhead said, smiling brightly at her father.
"--Anyway, after my Kimmie-Cub knocks you to the mat, Ron, you have the count of ten to get back up, but I would suggest staying down."
"And what if I happen to knock 'Kimmie-Cub' to the mat, huh?" The blond asked impatiently.
"Then it's curtains for you, Ronald," The Possible patriarch threatened.
Gulp... Again.
"Are we all clear?" The rocket scientist-slash-referee asked.
"Yeah," The teen super-heroine replied.
Ron nodded weakly.
"Alright, you two, touch gloves and return to your corners," The brown-haired man said firmly. The blond evaded eye contact with his attractive opponent. Reluctantly, the blond extended his boxing glove. When he felt the black glove lightly graze the glove of his opponent, he hastily returned to his corner.
"Good luck, and good luck, Kimmie-Cub," Her father said, giving the auburn-haired girl a light peck on her cheek. He followed that up by glaring daggers in the blond's direction, followed by making a throat-slash gesture.
In his corner, Ron felt boxed in... Was that because he was in a boxing match? Either way, he felt that this fight was fixed, yo, Even though that kinda went without saying. If there was any right time that he should fake his own death, now would be the perfect time. Not even his trainer, Mr. Barkin, could snap him back into reality. However, where Barkin failed to snap him out of his quiet and introspective "I'm going to be murdered in the ring" mania, the ring announcer did the job just fine.
"Would both contenders come to the center of the ring."
The first round had not started, and the blond was already feeling like it was the tenth. With his spirit visibly sapped, he trudged to the center of the ring. The only thing keeping him from absolute annihilation at the able hands of his best friend was the announcer. Hell, as far as that scaredy-cat sidekick was concerned, that guy could take as much time as he needed.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the challenger, Ronald "Ron-Diggity" Stoppable!"
The mixed reactions that the sidekick was met with minutes ago was replaced by full, loud, castigating boos. The blond narrowly missed being hit by a stray beer can. What in the...? What the heck happened to the little bit of fans that he had? Did they get trampled on? Did they think ahead and fake their own deaths?
"Versus the champion, Kimberly-Anne Possible!"
The audience, as if reacting from night to say, turned the voracious catcalls into lustful cheers and applause. Instantly, the ring became littered with all types of flowers and trinkets.
'Yeah,' the sidekick surmised. 'Yeah... My dying place was going to be here.'
"For the thousands in attendance..." The announcer paused, his voice toning down. "...and the millions watching at home..."
'Oh great,' the blond thought sarcastically. 'Millions of people are going to see me get murdered in the ring, that's faaan-tastic.'
"Ladies and gentlemen... LLLLLLL-LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUMBLE!"
Ding! At the sound of the bell, and before Ron even knew it, there was his best friend, charging menacingly toward him.
'I wonder what's going to be on my headstone.'
End of Prologue
The original chapter ran past my 5,500 word-per-chapter limit. I know what you're thinking, "Why the heck does S-Chrome have a 5500 word-per-chapter limit?"
The 7th Chapter itself will be online within hours... or a day... or... whatnot.
S-Chrome.
