Accidentally in Love

Chapter 5: Perfectly Imperfect

It was already after midnight when Hermione woke up from a lively dream of Voldemort killing Harry. Her heart was racing and she first didn't know where she was, but then she noticed the familiar room in the Burrow and sank back into her pillows sighing. It would take some time to really understand that the war was over. The terror she'd witnessed couldn't be that easily forgotten.

"Bad dream?" Ginny suddenly whispered and Hermione noticed by the sound of her voice that she hadn't been sleeping.

"Yes. Sorry, I didn't want to wake you." Hermione just said and was glad that Ginny didn't ask her what she'd dreamed about.

"Don't worry, I couldn't sleep anyway." Ginny said low, a strange ring in her voice.

Hermione didn't know what to say, so she just shut up. There were millions of reasons why Ginny probably couldn't sleep and she knew the redhead would tell her if she really felt like talking about it. And she did…

"You said his name. Harry's. In your sleep." Ginny finally whispered, her voice lacking emotion as if she was trying hard not to give away any of her feelings while saying so.

Hermione's heart kept racing and she closed her eyes devoted.

"I dreamed that he was dying. Voldemort killed him. Again." She finally explained, wondering if Ginny would say anything more about it.

"I figured that much. He wouldn't have made it without you. And I don't think I ever really thanked you. For helping him out, I mean. You are very special to him." Ginny said honestly and Hermione wanted to bury her head in her pillow and pretend she'd never been awake in the first place. This was by far the most unpleasant conversation she'd ever had with Ginny. It felt as if she had just stabbed Hermione with a knife in the heart and twisted it to make sure it hurt enough.

"We helped each other. You don't have to thank me. Not at all. He is my best friend after all." Hermione said, trying to sound cheerful. She failed.

"I know. Will you go looking for your parents soon? What are you going to do afterwards? Will you join Ron and Harry in the Auror department? Kingsley said you wouldn't need to graduate…"

"Yes. I want to go in the next days to be honest. I miss my parents and I want to spend some time with them in Australia. I need a break. And then I will go back to Hogwarts. I don't like the thought of not finishing school properly. I will finish school and think about what I want to do afterwards. Besides, I never really felt like wanting to be an Auror. It's perfect for Harry, but for me… I want to work on other things. We'll see…" Hermione said, relieved to be able to talk about something else than being such a good friend to Harry.

"Sounds like a good plan. Will you ask Ron to come with you? To Australia I mean." Ginny asked and Hermione suddenly knew for sure that Ginny didn't believe for one second that Hermione would ask Ron to accompany her. The redhead was playing with her.

"What do you think?" She asked low, wondering how this conversation would finally end. There were not many options if she was being honest.

Ginny snorted. "I think you have ended things with Ron a while ago. I also think your heart belongs to someone else. In fact, to be honest, I think it always belonged to him. You just couldn't show." Ginny said and there was no accusation in her voice or contempt, in fact she sounded resigned.

Hermione didn't know what to say. She felt terrible and at the same time relieved. And honestly, what was there to say? Ginny knew and she was right. With everything she'd said.

"Ginny…" Hermione started, not really sure how to explain or apologize or what to say to make this whole conversation less painful, but she didn't have to, because Ginny interrupted her before she could say anything at all.

"I understand. You probably won't believe it, but I do. I'm not the problem here. Harry and I… we broke up long ago. He didn't ask me to wait for him. He didn't tell me we'd be together when he was finally back. I hoped for it. Longed for it. And part of me expected it, to be honest. But I understand. You've been through a lot. And nobody was ever closer to him than you. There were times when I was jealous. There was always this strange kind of intimacy between you. The way you exchanged glances, the way he talked about you. He didn't know of course. I mean he's a guy. Guys are dense when it comes to these kinds of things… But I have spent years watching Harry. Listening to what he was saying. The only times when he really relaxed and let loose was when he was around you. I guess it was only a matter of time. But as I already said, I'm not the problem here. The problem is Ron…" Ginny whispered and Hermione noticed that this was actually the topic she wanted to talk about. Not Harry but Ron.

"Ginny…" Hermione started, but again Ginny didn't let her finish her sentence.

"Mione, Ron is in love with you. Like head over heels in love with you. And I guess he could somehow cope with you choosing someone else. But you choosing Harry is like his worst nightmare come true. He won't accept it. He won't understand. I'm just saying… don't expect this to turn out into a group hugging and making up session. Ron is stubborn and he does care for you a lot. And worst of all is that he also cares for Harry. In the end, choosing Harry means losing Ron. I think deep down you already know that. I think for you it will be manageable. But will it also be for Harry? Ron is like a brother to him. He's his best friend, they know each other since first grade. It would tear Harry apart. Maybe not right away, but slowly. If you would have chosen Ron, Harry would still be part of your life. You know that he wouldn't give up on your friendship, even if you would be with his best friend. Harry is different than Ron. He's more… sensitive. Mature. Understanding. Probably because of all the things he's been through. I don't want to tell you what to do. I also don't want to change your mind with what I'm saying to you right now. I just want you to see the whole picture."

Hermione didn't say anything in return. She couldn't. Part of her was speechless, the other part was frustrated and angry and one tiny little spark inside of her knew that Ginny was right. Being with Harry meant losing Ron as a friend. And not only for her, for Harry as well. Sure, Ron hadn't always been a great friend. But he was like family for Harry. Would he one day wake up and regret deciding to be with Hermione and giving up Ron's friendship? And would he hold her responsible for losing his best friend?

"Did you sleep with him?" Ginny suddenly asked, her voice for the first time tensed.

Hermione bit her lip and thought about lying. She couldn't. Ginny had been fair. Fair and honest. It didn't feel right to lie to her now.

"I'm sorry Gin." Hermione just said. The redhead didn't reply. She just turned around and pretended to sleep. But Hermione could hear her sobbing. In the end, both girls cried silently, lost in their own thoughts, before they finally fell asleep.

ooooo

Hermione woke up the next morning and felt Harry's breath in her neck. He had his arm around her waist and her back was pressed against his chest. It felt warm and comfortable and for a moment everything was just right. She thought of everything they'd done the night before and blushed. She'd slept with Harry. Holy crap, she'd really done it. It had felt so right and perfect last night but now in the morning, she started having doubts. Harry had always been her best friend. Just a friend. Like a brother. But even while trying to tell herself that she'd never seen more in him, Hermione didn't buy it herself. Harry had always been special. From the first moment on, he'd been someone who had been able to impress her. To surprise her. To make her feel appreciated and cherished.

He'd saved her life, countless times. He'd stood up for her when Malfoy and his idiotic friends bullied her. He'd talked to her when Ron had been stupid enough to think her cat would have killed that ugly rat of his. Throughout the years, Harry had been like an anchor, holding her in place, taking care of her. He'd made her feel special. He wasn't surprised when she dated Krum and appeared at the Yule Ball. He'd looked at her as if he'd always known that she was pretty. He'd kept her grounded. Hermione knew that he'd always seen her as a friend only. As a sister maybe. She'd accepted that someone like Harry would never be interested in her in another way than friendship. So she'd settled for Ron. She didn't plan it. It just happened. Ron was cute and he did care for Hermione, even though he was too childish to properly show it. Hermione thought being with Ron while being Harry's best friend was what she really wanted. She'd been wrong. And now that she was lying naked in Harry's arms, she could finally admit it. She'd always had deeper feelings for Harry. She just hadn't allowed herself to see it.

Hermione thought about last night and smiled. He'd been so careful. So tender and sweet. And she'd enjoyed every moment. Even falling asleep next to him had been perfect. But even greater was the feeling of his lips on her skin in the middle of the night. And while the first time had hurt, the second hadn't. He'd loved her in a way that made her melt in his arms. And Hermione kept wondering if Harry actually had already done this. If he had already slept with Ginny. Because honestly, he was just too good to be a virgin. They spend the whole night like that. Making love, falling asleep, just to wake up and start again. If Hermione hadn't known that magic existed, this night would have finally made her believe it.

She didn't know how long they actually slept, but it was bright daylight outside and Hermione knew that they needed to move in order to be really save. So she tried carefully to release herself from Harry's grip, but she didn't stand a chance. He just pulled her closer.

"Don't." he whispered husky and she sighed in response, which sounded more like a moan.

"We need to leave…" she protested softly, trying to be reasonable, but he didn't seem to care.

Instead Harry started caressing her, his lips leaving burning traces on her neck, while his hands slid softly from her waist down to her hip and her thigh just to finally pinch her butt. Hermione squealed and he started laughing. She slapped his hand but Harry didn't care at all, because suddenly his hip was pressed against her backside and she could feel clearly that he was more than ready to continue what they'd stopped doing last night. And even though Hermione felt sore and it was broad daylight, she couldn't resist.

They left the small little forest much later than intended and when they did, Hermione knew that she would try her best to one day come back to this place.

ooooo

They set up the tent in another forest and by the time they were ready, it was already getting dark. They didn't talk about the future. They didn't make plans to search for the Horcruxes. Instead they just grabbed some eggs from a nearby farm for dinner and went to bed early afterwards. They were lying next to each other, holding hands and talking.

Harry told her about his life with the Dursleys. He told funny and sad stories, while Hermione told him about her parents and her childhood. They didn't want to talk about anything too serious. The mood was light and pleasant and they wanted to keep it like that as long as possible. They both tried to flee from reality, at least for a while. It was perfectly imperfect.

"Do you think you will ever miss your aunt and uncle?" Hermione asked curious and Harry snorted. He caressed her hair and looked up at the dirty ceiling of the little tent.

"No. They didn't care for me. Never. I mean, Dudley was surprisingly kind when they left. In the end, he seemed to be at least grateful that I saved him from the Dementors. I think, if my aunt and uncle would have been different, maybe we could have been friends. Well or at least tolerated each other. Friends would be too much to say… I guess you and Ron were the first friends I ever made…"

Harry stopped talking, as if he'd noticed that he'd said Ron's name. Hermione bit her lip. She knew what he was thinking and she didn't like it, but she understood.

"Sorry…" he whispered and she shook her head. He was right. Ron had been their best friend. And by being together, they betrayed him somehow.

"Do you regret it?" Harry asked low and if Hermione didn't know him that well she wouldn't have noted the tension in his voice.

"Not a single moment." She replied honestly and felt the tension melt away as his body relaxed next to hers. "Do you?" she asked low, scared she might not get the reply she wanted.

"Mione, I might be dead tomorrow. Even if I'm not, I don't know how long I will make it. My life expectancy is not really high. I have to live life at its fullest. And that's what I'm doing. Maybe this is a beautiful dream and I will wake up soon and discover that everything goes to hell. But if that happens, I at least made the best out of it. I don't regret anything. How could anyone ever regret kissing those lips?" he whispered and pressed his lips softly on hers. And with that the discussion ended and they let their bodies say all the things they couldn't express differently.

ooooo

When Hermione woke up the next morning, she heard voices in front of the tent. Harry was no longer next to her, so she got up quickly, dressed and went to have a look outside. Her heart was racing and she didn't even know why. Her subconscious had probably already grasped what her sleepy mind couldn't admit yet.

She stepped outside the tent and what she saw made her stop in her tracks. Harry was soaking wet. He was holding the locket in one hand and Gryffindor's sword in the other. His green eyes were set on her face with an expression that made her want to go back to sleep and pretend this was not really happening. Her heart stopped racing and for a moment she felt as if it had stopped beating at all. Helplessness and confusion settled in the pit of her stomach and Hermione put her arms around herself protectively. She was suddenly freezing. Finally she turned her gaze to the guy standing next to Harry.

Familiar blue eyes looked back at her expectantly. She didn't breathe. This couldn't be true. Not now. Not him. Not yet.

"I'm back…" Ron said low, his eyes full of hope, while Hermione felt that the dream had officially ended and everything was about to go to hell sooner than expected.

Author's note:

Finally here comes chapter 5 I really hope you like it. Thanks again for all the reviews and ideas and the support. It makes me happy and it's really fun to write this story. I hope you still enjoy it and look forward to the next chapter. I will try to update regularly and hope to get some more reviews and input from you guys.