In our last rather exciting chapter of Tales of The Awkward:
"I just couldn't take it anymore. He's just so... clueless," Kim vented. The red-haired heroine gritted her teeth as she struggled in her bonds.
"Oh, so that's why you went chasing after us, eh, Kimmie?" Shego, the comet-powered malefactor queried. "And you thought you were going to take your frustrations out on us?"
"It worked in Situation: Oblivious," Kim shrugged.
Dismissing the bizarre answer, Shego continued. "So, princess," the night-haired woman began. "When did you get back to reality and figure out that wasn't going to work?"
"What is this, a bad talk show?"
"No, it's not!" Shego roared in Kim's face. "Does this look like The Greg Behrendt show to you?"
Kim couldn't grasp the outcomes of all the events that happened to her. This is what happened when she let her frustrations and uncertainty led her to. Heck, she got caught by Tara that past Friday. She couldn't reconcile with Ron that following Monday, and now, just this Tuesday, she was caught off-guard by Drakken and Shego when she was supposed to catch them off guard. Heck, now all she needed to do is accidentally chop off Mace Windu's arm and join the dark side FOR REAL. She wanted to pinch her leg and maybe, just maybe she'd wake up from this nightmare of bad events, but that couldn't happen.
For one thing, she couldn't reach to pinch anything for her arms were more tied up than a batter for the New York Mets. As if all of the pressure was crumbing down on her that very moment, the redhead shut her eyes tightly.
"Still think this is a bad dream, Kimmie?" Shego asked. Kim couldn't dismiss that mischievous glint in the older woman's eyes. When Kim opened her eyes, she was aghast to see the pale woman inches away from her.
"It's about to get worse..." The villainess whispered.
As fast as you can say "Plot Twist for The Hell of It", Shego kissed Kim. But then, as fast as you say "Right-Wing Conservatism," she pulled away from her. Yeah, Kim was pretty much a mess of conflicting emotions long before the confrontation with the bad guys, but now she was pretty much worse off than the Cavalier bench... and trust this, there wasn't much worse of a mess than the Cavalier bench.
"W-why did you do that?" A shocked-and-dismayed-out-of-her-mind Kim asked.
"Geez, Kim, haven't you ever heard of shock value?" Shego asked derisively.
The more Kim thought about, the more it made sense. Using what little leverage that she had, she leaned in gave Shego a kiss of her own. As if on cue, "All the Things She Said" from T.A.T.u. started to play as heroine and villain made out, and out, and out, and...
Shiver me timbers! That's not what happened in the last chapter! This is just a script from any bad Kigo fic, yo!
Ahem... now then...
Tales of The Awkward: Chapter 13 (Stalk-a-mania's Running Wild!)
In good ol' black and white!
The first day of school meant a lot of things; it meant that it was the first time that former juniors would become seniors, unless they were total slackers and had to repeat. It was the first time that teachers would pass around those annoying Delaney cards, unless they weren't a resident of the New York metropolitan universe) and finally, it was the first time since the start of the now waning summer that Ron Stoppable actually felt secure. Secure meaning his relationship with Kim, that is… well, whatever kind of relationship that was.
The only thing that each of them about their relationship was that they both enjoyed chocolate cake, yes, chocolate cake, with its lively, vibrant dark skin, it's delightful texture and taste, and that cherry on top. Ooh, that lovely cherry that sat on top that was just begging to be picked.
Sure, chocolate cake likely wasn't what either of them had on their minds, and if either one had that nerve of one Cowardly Lion, then the sparkling truth with glitter on top would have been out there for all to digest, and, speaking of digestion, chocolate cake always nice to digest… all the time.
Even though their admission was about as ambiguous as Ace & Gary, he still felt better than he did yesterday. Looking back on the past few days, and pretty much the entire summer, he couldn't believe that he spent the better part of three days thinking about the whole thing whilst the summer wasted away. To know that school was back in session was about as disappointing as the series finale of Seinfeld.
Hah, that went without saying.
He rubbed his eyes from the incoming sunshine through the window. That yellow main-sequence star in the hazy sky and the yellow-haired boy was to be confined behind to the cells… err, halls of high school.
Can you say 'CLANG?'
Even worse than the concept of returning to school was the fact that…
"Good morning, middling, medium-sized miscreants of Middleton, this is Dopey and Aunt-Annie in The Morning on a Tuesday!" A voice from the clock radio shouted out. "And Good Gracious God of Gratitude is it ever…"
"HOOOOOT!" A contrived sound byte yelled.
"You bet, Dopey. It is hotter than hell-o, how you doin," the other voice chirped. "It is a muggy seventy-nine degrees at 7AM and it is hucking fot out there already! It's expected to hit 95 this afternoon."
"Boy, do I feel sorry for the surly, stuffy, soupy students of Middleton, for it is the first day of those calamitous, callous classes. They'd rather take a resounding referendum on the rudiment of school and be out on the bright, burgeoning, bronzing beach, made, and laid in the shade…"
"Absolutely, kiddies… you'd better have your deodorant with you, or you'll stink worse than Dopey's attempts at alliteration!"
Ron rubbed the remaining grit from his eyes and sat up. Lazily, Ron reached out and tapped at the snooze on the clock radio. Heck, if it had been on for another couple of minutes, the darn thing would have melted down to goo. He felt sticky already, and he had only awakened three minutes ago! Days like this were simply uncomfortable, and a school day being tacked on was insult to injury.
Just when all of the tension between himself and Kim were cooling down, the weather just had to heat up.
Never had someone been so eager to attend the first day of classes dead in the middle of a heat wave more than Tara. The girl was bubblier than a shaken-up bottle of Cherry 7-Up and was probably less dangerous with contents under pressure.
Why would this young, blonde bundle of energy be so full of pep this day?
She was going to see Ron for the first time, post-date. In truth, the blonde was chomping at the bit to catch up with him, especially after the conclusion of that Friday night. She was unable to get that kiss off of her mind. Just the thought of it constituted a trip to the bathroom to shower... Cold... Twice.
Not that a cold shower wouldn't help in the horrendous heat, but the heat of the temperature wasn't the reason she had unscheduled two-a-days with the washroom.
Innuendo!
On the serious side of things, if there was one thing that wouldn't be an obstacle to her Ron-related aspirations, it was Kim. Now that she was caught, red-handed, Rafael Palmeiro-style, Ms. Possible would not be around to adamantly accost in her amorous affairs. Looking back on the night, she wondered why someone who claimed to be a best friend could do that to someone so close to him. Now that it was over, and Ron saw the darker half of Kim that Tara had premonitions about, it was going to be hard for him to look at the redhead the same way.
And that was her cue to swoop in to the rescue.
Sure, she didn't save the world every day and twice on a holiday, but she knew that if Ron was as close to her as he was to Kim, she wouldn't take him for granted. Then again, if they were that close, Tara and Ron, they'd probably be going steady by now.
Then again, with the way things were between them recently, steady wasn't far out of the way.
Tara glanced at her reflection in the mirror. She knew that it was gut-check time if she wanted the blond boy to herself. Ron wasn't like the rest of the guys that she had taken a fancy to, there was something there in him that she couldn't place a fine point on. She knew of it at Camp Wannaweep a year so back, and after months and months of waiting shyly and patiently in the bushes, she had a shot to catch herself a Ron, and by GAWD, that's exactly what she was going to do.
" Tara? Are you up yet? You're going to be late!" Her mother called from downstairs.
Late? What was she going to be late for?
"...for school!" Her mother continued, as if she read her daughter's mind.
Gaining consciousness of the time, the blonde cheerleader quickly gathered her belongings and sprinted out her room. If she was going to find time to muse, then the morning wasn't the time to do it.
Kim Possible woke up feeling ten pounds lighter. Well, not that she was overweight by any stretch, but she did feel that a giant mass was removed from her shoulders. The day before, for intensive... and probably extensive purposes, Ron and her were back on even ground. Kim felt a lot better knowing that she had her best bud back. Looking back on the day before, nothing positive could have happened had it not been for Monique. While she was over-opinionated and at times matched the sassiness of Bonnie, she also managed to be the glue that held everything together. Not only did she offer the voice of reason the other day, but she single-handedly saved their friendship. When the entire thing was over with, the redhead couldn't appreciate what Mo did enough for what she did…
She was sort of like the MVP of that sitch… coming in out of nowhere and saving the day, totally unlike that Dirk Nowitzki. Why, if Monique was like Dirk in any shape, form, or fashion...
The redhead shuddered.
All-in-all, she learned a lot from the day before and... the days before that. For one thing, the redhead learned that if she followed those rogue impulses... or hormones, she was headed for a world of trouble. And, in hindsight, and due to the fact she got caught with her head in the bushes...
...literally speaking, she knew a stunt like that should never be pulled again, under any circumstance. Curiosity usually left the cat in pieces, and that nearly went double for her friendship with Ron... and she would never want that to happen.
Speaking of curiosity... what did happen after Tara dragged Ron away from the park?
Yellow Flag! Back away slowly!
Her rational side, in all its glorious rationality, urged her to leave it alone. Some questions were better left unanswered, especially those of the not-so-distant past... and especially since the not-so-distant past was very much riddled with embarrassment that matched riding in the back of a 5-0 squad car. The time for her to make it to class was running down, and she had enough conundrums to worry about... like finding something to wear that wasn't going to have her broiling in the non-ventilated classrooms.
More importantly, what if Tara tried some funny stuff? Sure, she appeared to be sweet and innocent on the outside, but anything could've happened. Grrr... if she tried anything...
No, no, no! Shell the dwell! Shell the dwell!
The mantra could've been helpful to anyone else, but not Kim. For on this day, she was fixated on Ron more than Pac-man Jones was fixated on run-in's with the law. Kim let out a deep breath and continued with her preparation for the first day, very sure that the more homework was piled up on the first day, the less Ron-thinking she would do... well, theoretically.
August 27th, 9:12AM, Middleton High's Main Entrance
Middleton High School, Middleton, United States of America
I am the terror that flaps in the night…
I am the terror that flaps in the night…
I am the terror that flaps in the night…
In the light volume of students passing through the mildly congested corridors, one student in particular was lying in wait, so to speak; waiting, pacing, and searching for the right moment to engage the target. Indeed, the hunt was on. No, this student didn't have any intention of hurting or causing bodily harm to the target. Well, maybe squeezing target valuable air out of the lungs of said target wasn't out of the realm of possibility.
Yes, in this state, young Tara was focused; fixated, even, on her blond-haired, freckly-faced target. The cheerleader's level of concentration made her impervious to outside intrusions, indestructible to onlookers, and remiss to all re...
" Tara, what are you doing?"
OK, scratch that... the hunt was over.
"Oh, hey, Bonnie," the blonde girl sheepishly said. "I'm just... eh, looking for someone."
She thought she had answered clearly enough, but her lack of composure made the brunette take a very odd look at her. Before Tara knew how hard the sixth season of 24 flopped, she was whisked away by Bonnie and taken to a quieter location of the halls.
"Let me guess, the date went well then?" An unimpressed Bonnie asked.
"It was fine," Tara answered nonchalantly, attempting to contain her excitement the end of said date.
"Fine, huh? I bet that loser didn't even realize how much you were into him. Tara, I swear I don't see why you even…"
"What?"
Tara, taken aback sharply from Bonnie's beyond terse words, spoke up in defense of her absent beau.
"That shows how much you know, Bonnie," she replied, boldly stepping toward the tanned girl. She had just about enough of her repeatedly ragging on the boy. "I like Ron, and Ron likes me!"
"Does he now? He finally realizes that you're alive?" A bemused Bonnie asked.
Sidestepping the pointed question, Tara threw one back. "If you hate him so much, why'd you kiss him on the cheek, huh?"
Bonnie rolled her eyes at her. "Oh, give me a break, Tar. I was just trying to be nice, for your sake," the haughty cheerleader shot back. "Even if he turned into a prince with millions of dollars and a kingdom the size of Chattanooga, I wouldn't kiss that frog."
That, ladies and gentlemen, was a diss for the ages. Isn't that right, Mr. Evans?
DYNO-MITE!
Tara wasn't the type to glow a basket, er... blow a gasket, but her on-again, off-again friend was really pushing it to the limit. The blonde didn't know why Bonnie was so harsh on Ron all of the time, but there had be something behind it. In spite of that, she wasn't going to waste her time with arguing.
"Look, Bonnie... I don't know what your problem is with Ron, and really, I don't care... and I really don't care whether you approve of him or not, because you're not me. So I'd appreciate it if you stayed out of my business," Tara growled. The blonde hoped that she made her point across as she had never really had the gall to speak to Bonnie that way, but she didn't give much of a thought to it. Dang It, Bonnie had to know that there were just some things were just not to toy around with... and especially not during when she was on the hunt!
"Gosh, Tara… I didn't know you felt so strongly about this. I-I'll back off... I'm sorry that I didn't realize your feelings," Bonnie said as she timidly took a step away from her.
OK... she didn't expect this kind of reaction from her cheerleading counterpart. Shaking her head in confusion, she continued on her way.
"Hey, Tara?"
Momentarily, Tara turned around and faced the tanned girl.
"Good luck," she said with a wink.
The blonde cheerleader couldn't help but smile. It appeared as if Bonnie finally understood where she was coming from.
From down the hall, Bonnie waved at her blonde companion. When she left her view, the cheerleader shook her head in disgust. That girl was about as wide-eyed and naive as naive could get. She probably still thought those fairy tales were real. If she wasn't going to throw the proverbial bucket of cold water on her and lay waste to those schoolgirl dreams of hers, there would be a certain loser to do all that for her.
End of Chapter 13
Fear Not, for the next update is guaranteed to not take two months!
And by the way, the Intro is not to be taken seriously... and for those who do, and actually have the gall to fire a flame my way...
S-Chrome
