Tales of The Awkward: Chapter 14 (First Day of Cruel)
"Welcome back to the first day of school, class. My name is Mr. Jefferson. Like, George Jefferson, of The Jeffersons, minus that funny looking walk that he's got. This is United States History I. Therefore, we will be studying on most of the events in American History from…"
Sometimes, one could tell how slow a day was going in school by how many heads were face-down on a desk. Between the intense heating of the day, the unbearable humidity, and the widespread depression of trotting back and forth to the confinement that came with sitting at a small desk for up to eight hours, five hours if said school was overcrowded, there were many people in this particular class that could be mistaken for dead.
As for one Ron Stoppable, his struggle didn't involve keeping one's head above desk level. Despite feeling relatively good that morning, there was something uncertain that was nagging at him. Rather than focusing on the travesty that was the first day, he spent most morning finding out why he wasn't his happy-go-lucky self.
Perhaps he was forgetting something.
"...and I guess that's about it for the lesson plan, guys... and its only been... twenty minutes," the instructor said chuckling, much to the dissatisfaction of the students. Amidst the gnashing of teeth and growling in frustration, Ron decided to be creative and utter the good, old-fashioned groan of disgust and hopelessness.
Maybe it was the resignation of the teacher that bought the blond down like a Yankee losing streak, but the fact that there was still a half-hour left in the fourth period with several periods to go gave the realization to Ron that it was going to be a longer day than most others.
Ron glanced pleadingly at the clock that was mounted on top of the chalkboard.
The minute hand ticked backward.
Yeah, it was official. He was being tortured by the iniquitous ways of the time-space continuum.
Of all the slowest days in a year that one could think of, why did the first day of classes have to be the slowest of all? It was just half past eleven and the eyes of one Stoppable, Ron, were growing heavy with fatigue. Either he didn't get enough sleep the other night, or he needed to pick up an extra-strength can of Jolt Cola. In any event, the blond's head began to droop as the boring-on-top-of-boring class. The boy's head hit his desk with a soft thud. He was sure that Weezy or whatever teacher's name was wouldn't mind a couple of minutes of snoozing... oozing… oooooooozing…
"...Stoppable! Ron Stoppable!"
Whoa! Come on, now! He was just settling in for his beauty rest! The blond stirred up to find himself in a courtroom of some sort. Wait... wasn't he in a classroom a couple of minutes ago?
Then again, weren't the Lions a respectable sports franchise before 2001? No wait; they were never a respectable franchise.
He tried to make sense of his surroundings when the voice above boomed upon him again.
"Stoppable! Where were you on the night of Friday, the 22nd of August?"
Why did the judge asking that question? Did he commit a crime that he didn't know of? The voice was so close to him... so, what part of the court was he in? Recalling of his knowledge of the twenty-thousand judge shows on daytime television as well as the thirteen incarnations of Law & Order, he realized that he must've been on the witness stand.
"Eh, I'd like to plead the fifth, your honor," Ron replied.
"Uh-uh, baby-boy… you ain't pleading no fifth up in my court," the Judge declared.
Wait a minute… he had heard that voice... and that terminology before. He rubbed his eyes and looked upward. Indeed, it was the voice of someone familiar.
"Judge Hatchett?" He asked, rubbing his eyes again.
"Think again, Ronnie," the judge countered.
The sidekick looked upward toward the judge's chair again.
"Monique? You're the judge?" He asked in disbelief. Monique nodded. "When did you pass the bar?"
"Please, boy... I've been 'black and ravishing', since day one," she answered with a wink.
"Eh," Ron muttered. "I'm pretty sure that's not what the bar..."
"I'm not the one on trial here!" Monique sounded off. "Now answer the question, or I will hold you in contempt."
The blond boy looked about the courtroom to find several familiar faces in attendance. Perhaps the most important of all was the red-haired girl sitting on the plaintiff's side of the room; Kim. She stared intently at him, waiting for him to answer. The more he focused on Kim, the more troubling it became in trying to answer.
"Eh… I… I…"
"You do realize that you are under oath, don't you, Ron?"
In seconds, Ron felt that every single eye in the courtroom was on him, especially Kim's. His breathing became short and labored and he felt like he wanted to throw up and collapse at the same time. He needed to tell everyone what happened… to wipe the slate clean. It had to be done!
So why couldn't he speak?
Abruptly, the setting of a courtroom dematerialized into a seemingly boundless body of water.
"I… I…" The young man quickly became overcome with water as he sank deeper in the depths of water.
"…Mr. Stoppable? Mr. Stoppable?!"
The young man in question shook his head groggily. He found that he was in the classroom again. Like how it was in the courtroom, every eye was on him once again. This time, however, for a different reason.
"I'm aware that I'm boring, but my goodness, Ron… it's the first day. If you're going to snooze in class, by all means, but keep the snoring down just a little bit," Mr. Jefferson chided. "The stoners in the back need some rest too, you know."
The rest of the class, sans the stoners, of course, chuckled around him. Ron chuckled himself… embarrassment was the furthest thing on his mind though. That small daydream gave him a little clue of why he hadn't felt like himself. Now that he knew what it was, he knew exactly of what to do.
Now, if he could stop Ron Reager from glaring at him for interrupting his beauty sleep…
The Ron Stoppable To-Do List:
1. He needed to tell Kim about the end of the date with Tara, because those pangs were pangs of guilt that struck him, just like the pangs of flop struck itself to Evan Almighty.
2. He needed to stop having all of these dream sequences. The sequences were either becoming too literal, or beginning to resemble a bad Joel Schumacher movie.
Wait... Joel Schumacher made good movies?
"Therefore, class, if a triangle has the coordinates of A (0, 4), B (2, 2) and C (3, 6) under a dilation of two, then the triangle's new coordinates would be at which location?"
As the instructor pointed for someone to evaluate the problem most of the students muttered and grumbling at the sheer thought of doing actual work on the first day of class. Kim Possible, however, was taking the indignities in stride.
'Therefore, if Tara tried to put any unsolicited moves on Ron, then I have every right to dilate her right in the…'
"Ms. Possible, you look like you're focused. Would you like to come to the board and evaluate this problem?"
Class participation, already, on the first day? This was beyond overkill. Much like an electrified steel cage... seriously, what kind of crack were the Jarrett boys smoking when they came up with that?
Nonetheless, Kim rose out of her. Giving her new mathematics teacher a nasty… no, filthy… no, mad grimy look, Kim plodded to the chalkboard to try her hand at answering the question.
She took at the chalkboard studiously. It was rather simple now that she took a second look. All she had to do was multiply A by zero, which were the chances that Tara had with Ron and how many times Monique ran her mouth about her being jealous that night... must've been about eight times, give or take. (0, 8)
Next was to square the coordinates of B, two and two. Four was approximately the number of years Bonnie had been pestering her for whatever reason she could come up with. In truth, that seedy brunette really needed to come up with a life. (4, 4)
Finally, if she multiplied the coordinates of C by how many months this 'fireworks' business with Ron had been going on by how many years they had been friends in the following year, which would make six and twelve. (6, 12)
"Correct. Nicely done, Kimberly," the teacher lauded. "You may take your seat."
Swiftly, Kim returned to her seat, glad that at least she got the question right. In addition to... wait a sec... did she just use the events going on around her to solve a mathematics problem?
And they say geometry had no effect on daily human life...
All humor aside, she had to admit that coming up with the answer through everything that's been going on between herself and Ron was a little bit on the... obsessive side.
A little?
Obsessive (uhb-ses-iv) adj.
Obsession (uhb-sesh-uh-n) n.
1. The domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc...
2. The state of being obsessed.
3. Expensive, but cheap Calvin Klein cologne.
4. Kim Possible, for the last... give or take, seven chapters.
The pressure was on, and for the first time in months, the onus was on one Ron Stoppable.
'What do I say? How do I say it? Does she even want to hear what I have to say?' His self-imposed questions multiplied for each time he thought about what he was getting into.
"I-I mean, just 'cause I kissed some girl doesn't change anything between Kim and I... does it?"
Perhaps Ron didn't know it as he was asking himself questions to which he didn't have an answer for, but little did he realize he was absolutely right. Little tidbits often never distorted the big picture. For example, just because the Boston Celtics were a joke now didn't take away that they... were a great sports franchise.
(Cough, Cough)
Wait a minute... cough-cough? What's that supposed to mean?
OK... he could be wrong... or very wrong about how Kim would react and whatever result was. But, he had to with that result. For whatever the consequence, he was going to tell her. Right here, right now, right there, and...
...right after lunch.
A little bit of something changes nothing, care of Ron Stoppable.
Eh... just because Home Alone 3 and 4 were both hideous didn't make for a ruined series of movies.
Hah!
Just because Peter Parker looks as if he got home from The Black Parade in Spiderman 3 didn't make viewers lost respect for him.
Guess again, big boy...
And, furthermore... just because the New York Rangers got Chris Drury and Scott Gomez doesn't mean that they won't be making another second-round exit—again.
No wait... that was true.
'Where are you, Ron?' A hunt just wasn't a hunt if there was no prey... unless one was to be a cannibal, of course.
The day was nearly over, and Tara had yet to see her messy-haired ray of sunshine. In the allotted time between classes, she searched left and right, high and low, up and down,, and she came away with a big blank. The blue-eyed girl was driven enough to venture into the boys' locker room to locate her Ron and still turned up with nothing.
Hold up… she was gonna try the boys' locker room? Now, that's love, ladies and gentlemen... or is it fixation of the highest magnitude?
Whichever it happened to be, Tara just felt like running to the nearest patio and yelling "Ron-eo, Ron-eo, wherefore art thou Ron-eo?"
Of all things, Tara wanted to prove Bonnie wrong. She appeared to back off of her hard line against Ron earlier in the day. But her on-again, off-again friend did that to her a lot when she was serious about something… like when they were youngsters and she believed that wind was caused by trees sneezing.
Preposterous, ain't it?
In addition, she wanted to show the much jaded brunette that 'schoolgirl daydreams' could be accomplished for she liked Ron as much as Michelle Wie liked being a bust. Now that it was out in the open, and she had the actual nerve to do it, the blonde cheerleader would stop at nothing to…
Something out of the corner of her eye… Ron! There he was down the hall! She cursed at herself for not paying enough attention. Then again, how many daydreaming girls pay attention to anything around them?
Nevertheless, she followed the boy to… wherever he was going, then, backed up a few steps. It appeared that a red-haired she-devil was also in the hall.
Crud!
Kim Possible was in plain sight, and Ron Stoppable was headed for a one-way collision course, Linkin Park notwithstanding.
There he was, and there she was… now was the time. But first, he placed the fingertip of his index finger to his neck to check his pulse. Yep, it was pounding more than what major-league teams do to Devil Ray 'pitching.' Still, he ignored the butterflies that were fluttering in his… well, duodenum, he trudged onward.
"Hey, stranger," His best friend's voice greeted him. "I haven't seen you all day, Ron." She said, brightly smiling at him.
'Oh crap, I didn't speak up first… rethink strategy. Double Crap, she was coming this way. Triple Crap, I can feel her coming toward me… knuckle up, Ron. Knuckle Up!'
At this point, the sidekick's brain was like a NASCAR race. For one thing, it was in overdrive at a frenzied pace, and secondly, it wasn't a sport whatsoever. Unable to come up with his next move, he winged it… like many talented actors of the last generation.
"What's new? Heck, what's old?" He said quietly as he turned away from her.
Intuition told Kim that something wasn't quite right with her boy. She sauntered over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ron, you're shaking. What's wrong?"
'OK, what the heck was this all about?' Tara thought. After Friday, Kim shouldn't have had any business even touching Ron. Dang it, if that Kim got any closer to her man, she would have to take it back to the ghetto on her… whatever ghetto that was.
The redhead had an idea of what was wrong… and it probably had something to do with that blasted bimbo of a blonde girl. Sure, Kim was all kind of… concerned with the entire Ron-Tara affair, she couldn't allow herself fall into the trap of jeal that she did a few days back.
Ron glanced at the soft hand on his shoulder. Darn that Kim, what with her soothing and calm nature, and the fact that she looked ridiculously good. He would've been OK if his red-haired chum was how she was on Friday. She must've actually learned from that entire fiasco… something he didn't do very often. But, for all the championships that the city of Philadelphia didn't have, he had to get this off his chest!
"Eh… I wanted to speak to you about something… it's been on my mind for a while a-and I figured that…"
The expression on the girl's face turned from concerned to… ecstatic?
Was this it? Could it be? The teen heroine became hilariously ecstatic and giddy, as mentioned one line ago, and rather alarmed at the same time. Meanwhile, Ron noticed that he was rambling and decided to get right to brass tacks.
"…and, um… it's about the… incident Friday night."
Anyone know that sound an alarm makes when an entire building is about to blow? Well, that's what Kim looked like right now.
Sound them klaxons, baby!
"O…K," Kim replied, an eye narrowed toward him.
"Yeeeeaaah," the blond boy anxiously replied. He nervously shuffled his foot. "Well, after Tara and I left the park, I walked with her the rest of the way to her house. You should see the neighborhood over there…"
"Ron?"
"The trees are tall, and the street lamps are really bright, and…"
"Ron…" Kim attempted to intercede with a firmer voice, but he unwittingly continued.
"…and there's like two cars in every garage, and one dog in every garage. Plus…"
"RON!" Kim burst out. "She lives four blocks away from me! Now spit it out!"
Yes, it was finally happening! It was really happening! Tara could barely hold her excitement. Ron was finally going to tell Kim off. Light the fireworks! The she-devil was finally going to be out of the picture.
Like a known perpetrator under fifteen hours of hot lamps, Ron cracked.
"Before Tara & I ended our date… we, er… we did… that…thing,"
His nervousness and all of the stuttering… Kim put it all together.
"Oh… my…"
The girl yelled the word WHAT loud enough to put both Lil' Jon and Stone Cold Steve Austin to shame. In all of her rage, she grabbed hold of the lapels on Ron's shirt as slammed him into the nearest locker.
So much for jeal getting the best of her…
"You WHAT?!" She queried ferociously, the force of a thousand explosives in her voice, and a thousand pounds of kryptonite in her eyes.
Seeing the fire… literally, that was in her eyes, Ron backed up a minute. He didn't know that she was going to be this upset.
"I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I didn't mean to… whoa… I didn't mean "it" it," he stammered.
The girl was relieved, but only temporary.
"…But we did sorta have a goodnight kiss,"
3… 2… 1… and they're off!
"Oh," she simply uttered before turning away from him. Still, to Ron, the warning flag waved as if a hurricane was approaching. If memory served him correctly, that was the same thing she said more than a week ago when he told her of Tara and their upcoming date.
If Tara's cover wasn't blown sky high, she would've totally jumped for joy and high-five anyone close to her. Now all that Ron needed to do was tell that red-haired witch that the only girl in his eyes was that pretty blonde with blue eyes, and Ron Stoppable would be signed, sealed, delivered, and all hers!
Say, wasn't that a Stevie Wonder song?
Memory did serve Ron correctly, as fresh in his mind was the fiasco one night after he told her. He sidled over to her, uneasy as ever.
"Kim, are you mad?"
A-and… that's when the ceiling fell in, along with kitchen sink, the bathtub, the walk-in closet, and the family dog.
"YES!" Kim barked at him. Her eyes, usually soft were now intense with what the experts call 'nasty rage.' Ron quickly darted back as she turned to face him. As he stepped back, though, the… rather irate Kim advanced gravely toward him.
'OK... I, officially, am fearing for my life,' he thought.
"You…" Kim growled. "…went out on a date with this girl, tell me about it one day before, ask me if I'm OK with it…Then at the end of the date, YOU walk away with her… kiss her, and actually ask me if I'm mad?"
The confused expression on the boy's face seemed to fuel the flame even more.
"I mean… do you REALLY have to rub it in my face?"
"R-r-rub what in your face?" He queried, stammering throughout.
"Grrr…" All Kim now needed was to find the right mixture of magma, lava and ash and she easily could be a first-rate volcanic eruption all by herself. Her face, already red with anger, was wrought with disgust.
"Ron Stoppable, you are the most clueless boy alive," she chastised. "You and Tara, great," she continued, rolling her eyes in derision. "But don't rub it in the face of someone who…"
'That's right, Kim Consolable,' Tara smiled with approval as she continued to eavesdrop. 'Ron and Tara… gosh, that sounds so good.'
"Whoa, Whoa… time out. Me and Tara?" He asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Forget about the jeal getting the best of her. At this juncture, jealousy had Kim Possible by the throat.
"You two go out on a date. You two kiss. What's next, eh, Ron and Tara going to picking out curtains?"
'Boy, I hope so,' Tara thought.
"Hey, wait a minute…" Ron attempted, but was drowned out from the redhead's tangent.
"In fact, why are you even telling me this, huh? It's not like I even care or want to know about…"
"You're NOT letting me finish!" Ron thundered, much to the surprise of both Kim and Tara. Now, Ron was one ticked teenager. Old memories of past arguments between himself and Kim rushed back to him.
"You ask me why I would tell you this. Well, you seemed to have had no problem talking to me about that golden god, Josh," Ron spat, looking directly at Kim and just as intense. "Kim dreaming of Josh, time and time again. Thinking of Josh, dreaming of thinking of Josh… all about Josh! Heck, last semester it was just about the only thing I ever heard from you other than the bad guys! You think that never got old? I never got upset, or asked you why you would tell me this, Kim... but you have a right to?"
Kim was taken aback… while she grudgingly accepted the fact that he was right to a degree, she could get over his tone. He was bitter. Heck, he almost appeared to be... jealous of Josh. But… why didn't he tell her?
"And forget about that Vince Vinson guy, who asked you out on the Fourth of July a few months back. I smiled and nodded… of course it wasn't OK with it, but I put on a smile for you. So, what the hell are you so upset about, huh? Or… am I too clueless to recognize that too?"
It seemed as though all parties were surprised at the outburst, much less all of the oncoming students who were brave enough to venture through the loud noises. Outburst or not, both Kim and Ron still appeared to be upset at one another.
Ron wanted to continue, but his outright anger toward his world-saving friend… Phew! It was enough to make a pitcher slug his catcher, Zambrano style.
"Well, the floor is yours," a marginally calmer Kim said with a sigh. She ushered for him to continue.
"While I… kissed Tara, I kind of knew that it was …"
'Love at first kiss… love at first kiss… love at first kiss…' Tara mentally urged with her fingers cross.
"…kind of a mistake," he admitted, much to both cheerleader's collective surprise.
'A mistake?' The blonde gasped.
"I knew that it was," Ron continued. "Because there was only person I was thinking about the whole time."
"Oh, who, Bonnie?" The redhead cynically asked.
Oh… this girl was getting on his last… Gee, who was clueless, now? Instead of raising his voice again at the girl's crack, he chuckled derisively. This entire thing was going nowhere. He turned away from her, completely frustrated and resigned with the situation.
"Are you going to tell me or what?" He heard Kim ask from behind.
He shook his head… Clueless must've a traveling bug in these parts or something. Ron turned around and stepped directly into Kim's face.
"It was you," he simply answered.
Well… that certainly changed everything.
"Me?" She asked softly.
"Yes, you," he replied firmly. The girl's eyes widened, as if she heard it for the first time. "Yeah, my best friend, who was stalking me throughout the night, doing who-knows-what, was the first thing on my mind while I'm engaged in my first kiss with a beautiful girl…" He said, his eyes momentarily darting away from her. "…because I, of all people, felt guilty for leaving you there without you explaining. Strange, isn't it?"
Tara was unpleasantly unsettled with the boy's admission, although he did say that she was beautiful. 'How sweet,' she gushed.
For the first time that this discussion had begun, Kim was speechless.
"So…" Ron didn't have much to say as he was really beginning to lose his nerve. Worse yet, the redhead still couldn't find much to say. His voice got lower and lower as he tried to explain himself further. "…I guess I've been crushing on chocolate cake a little bit more than I've let on… and maybe that's my fault, too… so…"
He stopped talking right there, as he felt that he was completely embarrassing himself. Boy, he would really like to have Barkin catch them in the hall right about now, for if nothing, then at least to break the silence.
Kim glanced at Ron. His eyes were now dead-set on the floor. He looked as if he lost his best friend, and maybe he did.
Wait, no he didn't!
'You can do this. He poured out his heart to you...' her subconscious yelled.
While Kim couldn't say much of anything, she could still move. She crept behind him, found the boy's hand, and took hold of it. It was enough for to make the blond turn his head.
"K-K.P.?"
"Chocolate cake is too sweet for me to be mad at…" Kim whispered with a tender smile on her now calm face. He didn't care if it was Kim admitting the same thing, or her forgiving him, but he didn't care. He embraced the redhead tightly, relieved at least that they weren't fighting anymore. Kim returned the hug, closing her eyes and relishing his arms around her for what it was worth.
Darn it! They were too quiet. What were they doing? Did Kim finally give up?
Taking a chance, Tara emerged from her hiding spot and took a couple of steps from the corner.
Her breath caught in her throat as she laid eyes on them. It couldn't be!
"No…" The blonde gasped hoarsely. Kim and Ron were in the middle of the hall, embracing one another. There was no denying it. The blond was Ron, and the redhead was Kim. She darted back behind the corner of the corridor and took off toward the nearest stairwell, tears running down her face instantly.
When she got to the stairwell, she just stopped. She wanted to cry, but what the heck was that going to solve? The blonde cheerleader trembled sharply as her bitter tears continued to dew her cheeks.
She thought that there was nothing getting between her and Ron, but she was wrong, just like she was wrong about a whole lot of things, especially the trees sneezing thing, and that's what probably what hurt the most of all.
It almost seemed like an entire period had gone by before Kim and Ron broke their hug.
But it was definitely a better way to pass the time than sit in class. Both could attest to that.
"So… what do we do now?" Ron asked.
Eh… that was an answer that Kim wasn't exactly prepared for. But, someone else did…
"I'll tell you what you'll do now; take a long stroll to Room 324!" The voice of the one and only Mr. Barkin commanded. "Honestly, Stoppable, on the first day?"
Well, he asked for it.
Ron tried to speak up, but the dean of discipline grabbed both their hands and led them away.
"Come on, lovebirds. You'll still be together… in detention," the military vet said.
Kim & Ron exchanged glances at they were led to detention, the same thought probably on their minds.
'Lovebirds?'
Minutes after the bell that concluded the first day of school rang, Tara returned to the stairwell that she retreated to earlier, alone with her thoughts and nothing else.
She tried to be a nice girl.
She played the good girl… that didn't work. She was never the type to be jealous, like Kim. She wanted to convince through her actions that she could be a better match than Kim could ever be. But that boat sank before it left the blasted dock.
She tried to play by the rules.
She didn't tell anyone of the incident that Friday night under the belief that Kim punished herself enough. Apparently, that was out of the window. That stupid Kim obviously didn't know what kind of wrong she committed, and still Ron forgave her with open arms…
What about Tara; that silly blonde that had a huge crush on him? Heck, they were probably laughing at her misfortune. What really gave her the idea that Ron was going to choose her over Kim?
Tears of bitterness continued to pour down the cheerleader's face. There was only one solution.
Well, enough was enough! And it was time for a change!
She ran out of the stairwell to the first floor. She didn't care much for where she was going or what she was going to do when she got there. The blonde moved quickly along the floor until she bumped into a familiar face… and fell over.
"Geez, Tar… watch where you're going much?" Bonnie chided, dusting herself off. She took a moment to look the girl over. "Man, what happened to you?"
That's when the dam broke.
"Oh, Bonnie!" Tara collapsed into the brunette's arms and began to openly sob. "R-Ron… and… Kim… they…" she struggled to speak up. "After all that happened on Friday, he actually still…" the girl couldn't take it anymore and began to weep all over again. "You were right, Bon… you're always right…"
All that happened on Friday? Ron and Kim?
"Am I?" Bonnie asked with a grin as evil as Sidious himself.
"Yeah…" Tara muttered through gasping sobs.
"Now, now…" Bonnie consoled patting the girl's back soothingly. "Calm down, T. Come with me…" She rested the pathetic girl's head on her shoulder. "We'll talk about this… tell me everything that happened."
"O-OK," the blonde sniffled.
"…and I do mean, everything," Bonnie said as she guided her fellow cheerleader out of the building.
End of Chapter 14
A few things bought this chapter together quicker than I thought.
A. The song "We Need A Resolution" from the late Aaliyah (and to a lesser extent, Timbaland) gave me pretty good ammunition for most of the chapter… as well as the late Owen Hart… which is where the time for a change came from.
Owen Hart + The Nation is undoubtedly greatness.
Ahem…
Questions? Comments? Feel sorry for Tara as much as I do? Do you feel that enough is enough, and it's a time for a change? Review!
S-Chrome
