A/N: Hi, sorry this chapter took so long to post. It was actually ready by Wednesday but I had some technical difficulties. In other words I saved the chapter on my crummy old laptop, which decided not to start up again. No matter it's all fixed now. Thanks again to my reviewers, without you guys I would have given up this story long ago.

This chapter just has to be dedicated to Simon and Garfuncle as I must have listened to their CD about five times through whilst writing this chapter. Did you know that listening through headphones increases the number of bacteria in your ear by 700 times. I dread to think how many bacteria are currently in my ear after that.

Anyway I'm rambling now on with the story. But first things first; something in this chapter reminded me that July 31st has already gone past without me realising. That means Happy belated birthday Harry! (Yes, I am sad).

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, only in my dreams.

Previous Chapter:

Meanwhile a long distance away in a tiny, damp cave Remus John Lupin returned to consciences to find a wand pointed at his blooded and battered body.

"Lupin tells us where Potter is, or prepare to die."

Chapter 5

It was long gone midnight when Sirius Black finally returned home, his hair tangled and his robes ripped and covered in others blood. He closed the front door behind him wearily- it was going to be a long night. As the head auror dragged his feet through the pitch-black corridor and into the living room his canine ears began to pick up a faint sound- the sound of someone breathing. All of a sudden the broken man's heart filled with rushing hope and joy.

Perhaps the death eaters never managed to get Remus after all, the message could have implied another werewolf. Maybe he'd escaped from Flourish and Blots and come straight home. The whole time they had been looking for him around England, he was really at home for the entire time.

Flipping the light switch Sirius half sprinted into the living room and toward the noise. His heart couldn't help filling with disappointment when he saw not his friend Remus but his godson.

Harry James Potter lay fast asleep on the couch, his body curled up into a tight, almost defensive, ball. His cheeks ore several tear tracks indicating that the boy had just cried himself to sleep.

Ginny Weasley had left the house literally only an hour or so ago. She knew that she'd probably be in big trouble with her parents, who were probably having kittens, when she got home; but her boyfriend needed her so she would be there for him. Harry, well being Harry, had asked her several times to go home, but being as stubborn as the boy she'd refused point-blank.

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" Gin, I swear I'll be fine. You go home, okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

Despite the boy's best attempts to put on a brave face and a slight smile, his voice still wavered slightly and the red haired girl wasn't about to fall for his act. He was far from fine.

" Nice try Potter, but you can't get rid of me that easily. You're not fine and don't you dare try to tell me otherwise!"

Her voice was calm and comforting, but there was a certain firmness within it, which Harry didn't fail to spot. She meant exactly what she said.

" Now I'm going to make you some dinner because I wouldn't put it past you to starve yourself. Say right here, I'll be back in three minutes"

The words earned her a glare from Harry but Ginny didn't care. She knew she was being too firm and parental with him, but truth was she was scared. Knowing Harry for as long as she did, she knew he'd probably try to do something harmful, probably to himself, like going to look for Lupin for himself. That's why she didn't want to leave him alone, even if it was just to make dinner.

Five minutes later Ginny returned to the living room her arms caring two bowls of vegetable soup and some bread. To her enormous relief Harry was still sitting on the sofa exactly where she had left him.

"Here I made some soup. Drink up. I know I never quite inherited my mum's cooking genes but I think it's decent."

Harry just nodded his answer and took one of the bowls from Ginny's outstretched arms and allowed the hot liquid to warm up his hands. The Weasley sat down besides him on the couch and began eating her own dinner. The tension in the room then could have been cut with a knife.

However it didn't take to long to spot that barely two mouthfuls of soup had gone down her boyfriend's throat and he was stirring the rest about absentmindedly with is spoon.

"Harry," said Ginny finally, " You know that you can eat the soup. I have already stirred it myself you kn…"

"Ginny," Harry cut her off so suddenly that it was as if he hadn't even registered that she was speaking. There was something in his voice that she had never heard from him since they started dating in their Ginny's 4th year-formality.

"Ginny I," he let out a shaky breath as if unsure of how to continue, " Am I selfish? I mean I was so preoccupied with myself and what Snape was doing to me, when all that time Lupin was probably suffering far more. Does that make me selfish?"

'So that was it' thought Ginny; that was why Harry had been looking so guilty ever since she told him the news. To her it seemed like a bit of a stupid thing to get so worked up about; then again she wasn't the one who may have lost a parental figure- forever.

However his question also brought new questions to the redhead's mind. What's all this about Snape, and what had he been doing to her boyfriend? Her mouth knew better than to voice what was filling her mind though, especially since Harry was already feeling so guilty, the attention would only make it worse.

Instead she snuggled up closer to her boyfriend and whispered in his ear, "No, Harry. You're the least selfish person I know. Snape was obviously hurting you and you had every right to be upset. Anyway at the time you didn't know at the time that there was something wrong with Professor Lupin anyway. Don't always put yourself down Harry, I love you for who you are, you know that?"

At the sound of her words of comfort the boy-who-lived couldn't regain control over his emotions. Silent tears spilt from his cheeks where they lingered. Pulling Harry closer to her Ginny placed her head on top of his and closed her eyes. The couple stayed like that until Harry drifted off to an uneasy sleep out of exhaustion from crying.

Watching the movements of Harry's chest slowly even out, Ginny was sorely tempted to join him in sleeping on his couch. But thinking of her parents and Sirius she somehow managed to get up on to get off the couch and on to her feet. Despite every inch of her boy screaming against it the Weasley spun round and left Harry alone in the house turning the lights off (so that he could sleep) as she went.

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For the second time in one day Sirius found himself kneeling besides the sofa watching his godson sleep. The look on his face made it obvious that Harry knew all about his surrogate uncle. He guessed that one of the Weasley's must have told him, they would have found out everything from Arthur; and judging by the bowl of (now cold) vegetable soup on the coffee table it was probably the youngest one.

The more Sirius watched his Godson sleep, the more he realised that it couldn't have been Remus in the first place. Number one, the aurors and probably even the order would probably have checked the house anyway. And number two there was no way that Remus wouldn't come to find Sirius to tell him he was safe if something like this did happen. No, his worry for Moony was starting to make him delirious.

He wasn't thinking straight any more. That's why he was sent home whilst the rest of the squad where still looking for clues.

As you can probably guess, Sirius Black doesn't give in without a fight. That includes when somebody tells the head auror that he should go home and get some rest, and definitely when his best friend involved in the case.

It had been Harmison who had first found him after he collapsed in Flourish and Blots, in front of the message scrawled over the wall; 'The werewolf's blood shall be spilt and the Dark Lord will become invincible'.

Harmison- an innocent young man who did not deserve to have witnessed such a scene. He was only nineteen for pity's sake, the newest and youngest member of the auror squad. Red liquid covering the floor, messages written in blood, your boss out cold on the floor…it's not a sight anyone should see least of all at the age of nineteen. Sirius began to wonder whether he'd done the right thing, bringing Harmison on this mission in the first place, he'd be scarred for life. But then again such are the times we live in.

Anyway, by the time Sirius' world had come back into focus, Kingsley was also by Harmison's side. This meant that auror training had obviously finished, not that Sirius had registered that at the time. The tall, black man had helped to pull Sirius up to his feet and looked him up and down. Amongst the fear in Kingsley's eyes there was also poorly masked shock. It was the first time the younger had seen his boss loose control completely.

" You should go home Sirius," that was the first thing he said, "We can sort all this out without you. Go get some rest."

Although his words were warm and understanding, they ignited a flame of fury inside Sirius. His best friend was missing and they wanted him to 'get some rest'. He was the head auror and they wanted him to go home.

Sirius decided to explain his views in a very loud and verbal way. He could no longer remember exactly what he had said, or rather yelled; however in the back of his mind he knew that some of the things he'd said would embarrass him later, but at the time he was just to frantic and worried to care. However as other aurors began to enter the scene, all of Sirius' fighting went down the drain as Kingsley won the head auror over with one simple sentence.

" Fine don't go home for yourself, okay. But at least go home for Harry. The boy's probably worried sick. He's probably worried about not only where Remus has gone but also where you have gone too. You don't have to go home to him though, by all means stay here and leave him scared on his own."

With those two sentences the head auror knew that he was beaten; it was common knowledge that involving Harry in anything would always win him over. Sparing a scowl at Kingsley, and the now larger group of aurors by his side, he turned and apparate away with a pop.

Home- that's where he was now. Only it wasn't his home, it would never be without Remus. Just this morning seemed like a lifetime ago, where he'd woken Harry up by spilling paint over him and how the teenager had got revenge by petrifying Sirius. It all seemed so trivial now.

Reaching out an arm Sirius traced on of the tear tracks on his godson's cheek with his index finger. However he started to regret it almost immediately as the boy started to stir.

"Sirius," he whispered slightly groggily.

" Shhhh, it's me kiddo. I'm here now." He placed on night over Harry's and the other lightly ruffling his messed up hair.

Suddenly the boy yanked his hand away from his godfathers grip. He couldn't ever remember feeling as angry with the man in front of him before. Breathing heavily Harry sat up as the day's events came flooding back to him.

"Sirius," he half yelled, " You lied to me. You told me Remus had gone to Hogwarts for pity's sake. Why the hell couldn't you tell me the truth! Or about Snape for that matter too."

"Harry, look I…" began Sirius also rising from his place on the rug; but the teenager cut him of in mid sentence.

"NO I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT ANTHING. Why does everyone keep treating me like a little kid? I had as much right to know as any other stupid auror. Or did you think I wouldn't be able to handle the news. But I assure you finding out from someone else was far worse."

By this time Sirius ad also flared up. " Will you just stop thinking about yourself for one minute. How do you think I would feel writing a letter to my godson saying that my best friend was missing? But that doesn't mater does it, as long as you know the truth? The world doesn't revolve around you, you know Harry."

Just one look at his godson's face told Sirius that he had gone too far. All the fight had suddenly gone out of his body and he just stood there speechless.

" Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that. I'm just stressed. I'm sorry."

The boy-who-lived just shrugged and with a slightly forced, "It doesn't matter," he ran upstairs and to his room. Sirius heard the door slam shut behind him, and on the floor above a young boy cried himself to sleep for the second time in one day.

The animagus went over to the fridge and took out a bottle of firewhisky. Without bothering to get a glass, he just drank it straight from the bottle. He drank until the world span the right way again. He drank until Voldemort never existed. He drank until Lily and James were still alive. He drank until Remus was at his side.

In the early hours of July the 31st Sirius Black lay on his bed gazing up at the ceiling, apparently deep in thought. Five days had passed since Remus had first gone missing and there was still no sign of him; nor was anyone even close to recovering.

Sirius and Harry, however, had made up from their little argument that night. Both parties realised they had said some harsh and irrational things they did not mean, and were truly sorry; but without the aid of a time-turner there was no erasing their words, which still seemed to linger unwontedly. Therefore, although the two men were technically on speaking terms, the atmosphere still remained slightly tense and there seemed to be some kind of unspoken agreement to only talk about neutral issues (nothing emotional) in each other's presence.

However, today there was an additional weight on Sirius' mind. July the 31st meant Harry's birthday. Under normal circumstances the head auror would have been looking forward to his godson's birthday if anything; when else would he get the chance to spoil his charge rotten. But of course every other birthday Remus had been there. There to cook the chocolate chip pancakes in the morning; there restraining Sirius from jumping up and down in excitement whilst he waited for the boy to open his present; there to put the happy in happy birthday.

And to be quite frank, Sirius was confused. He didn't know what would be the right way to spend Harry's birthday. Part of him just wanted the boy to be happy, and have a celebration no matter what. But then the other part felt that it would be an insult to Moony's and the two of them should just have a quiet day at home.

Crossing his arms Sirius pondered the issue. What would Moony do in my situation? But after almost an hour of thinking he finally gave up. Grabbing the already wrapped present from under his bed, he strode over to Harry's room deciding to simply ask the boy what he wanted to do for his birthday.

But when Sirius got there, there was a surprise waiting for him. Rather than having to wake the birthday boy up, like he fully expected to do, he entered the room to find Harry sitting up on his bed, a book in his hands. For some reason the sight shocked Sirius; perhaps it was the fact that the boy looked so much like James who would never be caught dead with a book in his hand.

However Harry did read every so often (not too often mind you), it was one of the attributes he had got from Lily.

" Hey kid, what you reading?" asked Sirius. His godson responded by lifting the heavy book off his chest and held the front cover up to Sirius. He frowned as he read the title; '1001 potions and their uses'. It was no secret that Harry hated the subject, so why was he reading a book on it? Then suddenly it clicked.

The boy wasn't reading at all. He was actually doing the same thing as Sirius, thinking! The book was only a cover up story in case his godfather came in.

Suddenly Sirius felt a fresh wave of guilt. He had been so wrapped up with Remus, that he hadn't really been there for his godson.

Vowing to himself that he was never going to make that mistake again, Sirius lightly pulled the book out of his godson's hands and replaced it with a heavy blue and gold wrapped present. Smiling weakly, the now eighteen year old, opened the present.

It was a book, 'Becoming an animagus,' by James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

Grinning genuinely, for the first time in days, at the confused look on his godson's face Sirius said, "Happy Birthday Kiddo. Your dad, Remus and I wrote this book before he passed away," Though Sirius paused here he chose to ignore Harry's mutter of 'got murdered more like'.

" Anyway we just wrote it for a bit of fun, but recently Remus found it in a box in the attic. So he decided to brush it up, in other words get rid of all the bits written by the lying, cheating rat, and got it published. Voila, this is the first copy."

Harry cautiously flicked through the pages in his new book, before leaping of his position on the bed and throwing his arms around Sirius.

"Thanks, Siri."

They sat like that for a couple of minutes before Sirius held his godson at arms distance and looked into his eyes.

"Now Harry, what do you want to do for your birthday?"

Just as the head auror suspected the boy immediately looked down and began squirming uncomfortably. Gently placing his hand under the boys chin he raised his head so their eyes were once again in line.

" Remus would want you to have fun on your birthday no matter what you know. But if you don't feel up to anything big how about rather than calling over the whole Weasley clan we can just have Ron and your girlfriend, Ginny. And your other friend who's staying with them, Hermione. You four can have some cake ad go down to the park or something. I'm sure they'll understand if I talk to them. What do you say?"

Harry nodded fairly happily, considering the circumstances, so that was exactly how they spent the day.

At midday the birthday boy went down to the park, with Ron, Hermione and Ginny, where they had the most delicious picnic prepared to them by Mrs Weasley. Harry made a mental note to thank her at their next meeting.

Sirius didn't know what else the four young adults did at the park, but judging by their slightly frazzled look when they got home at fiveish a lot of talking and kissing was certainly involved.

There was then a small cake waiting for Harry when they got back. It was fairly small but beautifully decorated with pale blue icing and little snitches. It didn't taste half bad either. Sirius had ordered it from Diagon Alley of course; but even its beauty couldn't match the feel of the cakes Remus usually made every year.

Harry felt like a bit of a spoilt brat thinking about Remus and his cakes though especially when Sirius was trying so hard to please him, so he tried to push those thoughts to the back of his mind.

By the end of the day when Harry went to sleep he had a good few new presents in his room. There was of course the book from Sirius, but also a stunning gold cage for Hedwig from Hermione (the old one was beginning to fall apart), a box of sweets form Ron, and a homemade Griffindor rug for his room from Mrs Weasley. But by far the best was Ginny's present; a small leather photo album full of pictures of the two of them at Hogwarts.

As much a Harry hated to admit it he had actually enjoyed his day a bit. Just the thought of him being happy made him feel guilty. Guilty that Remus could be suffering whilst he has fun.

A/N: How was that? Yes I know the whole chapter was about Sirius and Harry but I just wanted to get their emotions across properly. Was it too over the top, I think it might have been? But don't worry the next chapter will be devoted to Remus and my dear friend Gemini Laxcrosse (remember her). It should be up by Tuesday latest!

Before I sign off I have one more thing to say. My story is completely planned out up to chapter 7, then again at chapter 10. That means I have a three chapter gap where I want to show a daily life feel and have some subplots (Harry proposing to Ginny for example). The problem is I don't know exactly what to write. If you have any ideas please tell me and I'll almost definitely include them in the story.

Ok, lat me rephrase that, I'm begging you for ideas. Pretty please with cherries and ice cream on top. I'm one lost shipper. Thank you ever so much.

Goodbye and please review,

LilacBookstar.