Mrs. Dr. Possible's Sensitivity Training: Session One

"S-so, what you're saying is that in the long run, it will be beneficial for Kim to date boys."

"Precisely."

"However, if I was to continuously shun her dates, and threaten gun violence against the boys she's taken a liking to, there's an outside chance of her becoming rebellious and resentful of me, even though I'm only trying to look for her and know what's best for her."

"Sometimes she has to find that out for herself, Jim."

"But teenage boys these days are..."

"You were a teenage boy too once, Jim."

"Your point being?"

"You had strange feelings and your hormones started getting the better of you too. I'm sure you did."

"That's not how I remember it. I was a straight-arrow all the way through."

"Oh?" The Possible matriarch questioned. "I remember a couple of lab partners who decided to begin dating, and a father of a certain lab partner who held said lab partner at gunpoint..."

"It was a learning experience for me! What's wrong with that?" Mr. Possible asked, still clutching his trusty 12-gauge.

Anne shook her head. Sometimes her husband was so clueless, even at an adult age.


Tales of The Awkward: Date vs. Destiny: The Final Stanza I

(Ah, Can't you feel the finality of it all?)


6:52:12

So, where were they going?

It seemed as though they were ambling about the Middleton-Upperton border for twenty minutes. Kim was a tad peeved that the evening was being wasted away on just walking around. One saving grace was the fact that she took a few moments to look Ron over. He cleaned up pretty nice, upon further review. She wondered why he didn't dress this well often. It may not be his cup of tea, but she wouldn't mind seeing him in those threads more often.

She momentarily stopped when she realized that she was gawking at the boy.

Checking Ron out? Who could've ever imagined this? Well, considering he was kind of looking in her general direction in detention a couple of weeks ago, it was only fair that she do the same. Turnabout was fair play, and such. Speaking of turning... it was darn-near 7PM, and they couldn't even find a place to eat yet. Time was a-wasting and time was nothing to waste.

She grabbed Ron's hand and started toward their destination.

"Wait, KP. Where are we going?"

"You'll see," she simply answered.

Well, at least something was happening. Ron was willing to go along with it, even if the answer was vague. Just along as the place wasn't overly expensive... he did only have 60 bucks on him.

More allowance or a job... definitely a necessity going forward.


Mrs. Dr. Possible's Sensitivity Training: Session Two

"I'm still not understanding your hostility, Jim," the brain surgeon-turned-pinch-hitting shrink told her fanatically protective husband as they continued to converse about the ins and outs of threatening teenage boys and it's harmful long-lasting effects on their daughter. The rocket scientist sat on a reclining chair-turned-Psychiatrist's as he digested his wife's questioning of his self-righteous motives.

"It's not hostility," the ever-defiant patriarch corrected. "It's concern. I'm not understood why you're not as concerned about boys as well."

Concern? He keeps using that word...

"I'm not concerned because I know that boys and girls grow up eventually."

Hm, she was right about that. Darn his wife and her rationale.

"I mean, you do want grandchildren, don't you, James?"

"Sure, I'd love grandchildren, but isn't it a little early to be thinking about Jim & Tim?"

Another piece of paper was torn from the notebook and thrown in a nearby wastebasket. There was going to be a lot more sessions before a breakthrough took place.


7:14:12

Don't just show up at an upscale restaurant. Arrive.

So, when Ron & Kim stepped foot in Sharpay's, Ron couldn't help but feel a bit threatened by the place. Dim lights, chefs with large white hats, and not even the faintest smell of Tex-Mex.

Boy, this was no Bueno Nacho. Nope, not at all.

You knew a restaurant was more than three stars when they didn't have to advertise it on television. The atmosphere was of something classy, a place where well-off folks would eat at while talking about everything and nothing in particular, and worse yet... a place where 60 bucks would just get your foot in the door.

"Ah, Kim Possible, right this way, my dear... how could I possibly not thank the savior of my restaurant from becoming a Burger King?" The owner gushed.

"It's no big," Kim countered. "That King guy soooo had it coming."

Ron surmised that he probably wasn't in on that mission... or anywhere in the vicinity.

"Right this way my dear, and everything is on the house, come along now."

Everything was on the house? Sweet! Ron was relieved to know that what little monies he had left are safe. Yes, the young man was kind of petty like that.

As they were led to their table, the sidekick took a peek at the patrons of this more than swanky eatery. People in suits. Adults who appear to be pretty darn well-off, and ultimately, people you wouldn't find at a local Bueno Nacho. Silence fell upon both of them when they got to their table.

Silence. People hate silence. And heck, if there was silence during a date, you were better off scooping six feet of the earth on the entire thing. But, to Ron, what exactly was there to talk about? He and Kim had known each other since the days of WMAC Masters... where that guy won the Dragon Star whatchamahouzlt. It wasn't like they were complete strangers eager to know every little detail about the other, because they knew already. If there was any mighty block that kept friendships from getting to the next level between a guy and his lady, it had to be too much familiarity. With that in mind, Ron decided to take charge and break the ice, the only way he knew how; Fault-finding.

"You know, if this..." he swallowed a heaping amount of saliva. "...date... isn't the way you envisioned it, I hope you concede that this is no fault of my own."

Where did that come from?

"What do you mean, Ron? Are you being paranoid again?"

"No, seriously, Kim. You know how this whole thing with you and me started? When I noticed you were a girl..."

"So you're saying you just noticed I was a girl a year and a half ago?

"You know what I mean. You've got you're..." He gestured to his midsection, signifying his friend's developed-(and still developing) figure. "And your... shampoo commercial hair, how am I not supposed to...?"

Once annoyed with Ron's tangents, Kim now found it amusing, usually because his rants weren't about anything relevant, but this had her interest piqued. "You're saying this is my fault?"

"How was I supposed to know you would grow up and out like this?"

"Like what?" She asked with her hands on hips. She was already demonstrating her growing up just by her pose at that very moment.

Ron sighed and pulled the chair from the table and offered it to Kim, who sat down. He sat down a moment later. Boy, Ron didn't want to describe what he saw in Kim, but there she was, expecting him to explain himself. Well, here goes nothing and everything at the same time...

"Have you looked in a mirror lately, Kim? You've got this flawless skin, bon-diggity eyes, and you're pretty enough to be in most maga..."

(Hm, it appears as though Ron had blown his own spot. In effect, he just said what was on his mind for the last twenty chapters or so.)

While Ron didn't lose his religion, he felt he said too much.

"What does that have to do with..."

It may have taken some time, but then the light-switch just came on...

"...you think I'm pretty, Ron?"

Not comfortable enough with verbally answering her question, he looked away from her and nodded.

Instead of a freaked-out face staring back at him, he found a smiling face gracing his eyes. He still felt that he needed to further explain how he felt. Hopefully, he could do it without having her look at him funny.

"I mean, it's just that I've never saw you that way before. And, you're still you; the nice person that I've always known, you know? You're an amazing girl, Kim. And, I guess I finally realized that."

Ron was surprised to see his date blushing... it was as if she didn't know how special she was, or at least to him.

Outside of her parents, Kim had never heard someone say something so sweet to her. It was no surprise to her that Ron would say something like that though. Recently he usually knew what to say to her to make her feel... rather tingly all over. She could tell that he meant everything he said, just like all the other times he would say comforting things to her in the past.

"What about you, Ron?"

"What about me? This is not on me. No, no, no..."

"You always say the right things to me, how am I supposed to not notice that? Whenever I'm feeling down in the dumps, and then you come along and I feel better. You've grown up too, Ron; Just in a different way." She smiled. "I think this whole awkward thing is your own fault."

Oh, sure... blame the hapless guy! Women!

Perhaps it was the fact the redhead's eyes were glued upon him that was making Ron uncomfortable. It's not as if the never sat in a restaurant before, but this was such a swanky place, with a candlelight in the middle of the table, and darn it, he wished Kim wouldn't stare at him like that. He tentatively sipped on a glass of water to cool his nerves.

"Besides, I'm sure you're growing out in other places too," she smirked.

It was at that point where the glass tumbled from Ron's unsteady hand and dropped into his lap. W-where did that come from? Was that more of this innuendo business?

"I-I..." the sidekick stumbled.

Kim gave him what looked like a teasing glance. All this flirting business was going to take a bunch of getting used to... and young Ron wasn't handling it very well at all.

"Uh, I've got to go to the bathroom. I'll be..." he trailed off as he got up from his seat. In his awkward haste, he tripped over the feet of the chair, crashed into an ongoing waiter and found himself on the finely carpeted floor, with some kind of entrée all over his shirt.

Smooth, Ron. Smooth.


Destiny (Or, in this case, abject clumsiness) 2, Date 0.

There is still hope for the date... well, miracles do happen. But, how often does it happen?


"Ron!" The redhead quickly got out of her seat to check on the fallen blond.

Hm, here was Ron thinking that he could manage to stick it out, and go forward in this endeavor. Yet, here he was, soaking wet from the waist down, and something that resembled escargot and tomato paste on his once-spiffy shirt. He didn't bother to respond to his date, got back up and trudged along to the washroom, despite the query from Kim.

Once inside, he did his best to clean off the residue off of his threads. As he took paper towels and scrubbed his clothes down, he looked in his reflection in the mirror.

'I can do this. I can do this.' He thought repeatedly.

He hung his head.

"I can't do this..."

"Like hell you can't!"

Wait, what? Did someone just say something?

Ron scanned from right to the left, and saw a man stood who looked to be in his early 20s with long brown hair and a somewhat angry expression on his face. Ron could've sworn that he was all alone in this bathroom... he figured that he must've been on the commode before he came in, but he that was an assumption for later. Right now, he just wanted to know why this strange guy was talking to him in such a way.

"So, you're just going to give up that easily, Ron Stoppable?" He asked.

"Hold up. You know who I am? Who are you?"

"So not important right now," the man avoided Ron's question. "What's important is that you not give up and you go back out there."

"W-why? You didn't even see what happened out there. It's not even 8 o'clock yet and I totally embarrassed myself out there," the sidekick shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

"It doesn't matter how many times you embarrass yourself, Ron. You gotta take the plunge, man."

"Why do you care so much, strange guy I've never met before?"

"I care because I don't want you to make the same mistake I did," the brown-haired man ordered.

"What mistake?"

"Well, a few years back in college, I too, had the caught the eye of a redhead, and let me tell you, young Ronald, she had it all. Smart, cute, funny... and I... well, gave up before anything happened."

Ron was riveted at the story, yet still confused.

"But what does that have to do with..."

"Uh, hello? Focus, Ron. Incredible redhead waiting outside for you and you're in a bathroom looking in a mirror!" He said, clearly exasperated with the young man. "If she didn't turn away from you from all of other embarrassing things you've done to yourself for the last decade or so, what makes you think she's going to turn away now?"

"Hey, you're right," Ron realized. But, how did this dude know that he's embarrassed himself multiple times throughout the years? Was this guy a stalker, or just a knowledgeable existential visiting his universe for the moment?

"Kim likes you. You like Kim. It's Cory and Topanga all over again, so just roll with it, dude!"

"Wait, how do you know...? And who are Cory and Top-"

"Oh, crap... said too much, gotta go!" The mysterious young man hastily said as he made an attempt to leave the lavatory.

"Wait, you never told me who you were," Ron exclaimed.

"You really want to know who I am, do you?"

Ron nodded.

"I-I am Batman..." in his haste to exit, he smashed his face into the bathroom door. "Uh... Batman of the Future," he said before running out of the bathroom.

Batman of the Future? Now that's just way out of left field, wasn't it? Still, what the strange man said to him did leave him determined to go back out there are pull it together. He gathered the bundle of nerves that he hung from the wastebasket moments ago and ambled his way back to the dining area. He found a concerned Kim sitting at their table. He wondered how he was going to explain his clumsiness. Well, more embarrassing clumsiness than usual, in this case.

"You took a nasty spill there, you OK?"

"Other than my pride, I'm fine."

"Guess this whole thing has you distracted, huh?"

Ron chuckled in spite of himself. "More so than usual, you mean? Definitely."

"If you're uncomfortable with this, we could just..."

"No way, K.P. I plan on seeing this until the end, even if I have to have to be covered head to toe in tapioca," he affirmed. No one would ever want to be covered in tapioca… then again, Kim covered in tapioca? Now that's… extremely perverted. He had to work on getting his mind away from the gutter… when he was in public. Just think, he could have all the lecherous thoughts about Kim at the end of the night.

He mind wandered a couple of hours ahead of himself. What would happen at the end of the night? A kiss? The cheek? The lips? The dreaded forehead? Maybe a flirtatious handshake wasn't out of the question either…

It had been nearly ten minutes before the waiter bought them dinner. Kim & Ron sat quietly, eating their respective meals. Neither one had much to say. They guessed that it was nice and such.

"What do you think, Ron?"

Well, between the fact his mystique is media hype and the fact that he runs better than the throws, I think Tebow is gonna suck in… oh, she was talking about the food?

"It's all right, I guess."

"Better than Bueno Nacho?"

"Debatable," Ron countered. "I don't know, I think I could do a bit better than this, though."

Ron Stoppable: Sidekick; Slacker; The next Gordon Ramsay… you donkey.

"So you're saying you'll cook for me sometime?" She asked, fluttering eyelashes all the way.

Whoa, I never said that and… is she batting her eyes at me?

"Sure, anytime." He hoped to providence that Kim didn't hear his voice break while he said that. Speaking of breaking, anytime literally meant any time… that could mean a whole host of possibilities.


Any… time? By Ron Stoppable

"Glad you came, K.P. You're in for something special tonight," Ron said as he gestured his best friend into the Stoppable home—and just for tonight, Chez Ronald.

"You know I wouldn't miss it for the world… plus, I got you this," she held up a red apron that read, "Kiss the Cook" on the front of it. Well, wasn't she getting ahead of herself?

"Kiss the Cook?" Ron asked, his eyebrow rose in question.

"Um-hmmm, I plan on doing plenty of that," she said, adding a kiss on his cheek for emphasis.

Things had progressed so much further since their first date that Ron could barely comprehend it all. Even less so now that his less-of-a-best-friend more-of-a-girlfriend, Kim, had become more and more forward in expressing herself to the young man. It was something he was ready for, but not quite prepared for. He figured that he would finally get used to the redhead's at times sultry advances, and… hm, he had something on the stove didn't he?

Kim was going to love this; he was cooking her favorite tonight. Just a few more minutes and the secret ingredient… no, not an aphrodisiac, and she would be putty in his hands. Just as he took a wooden spoon to stir the contents of the pot, the object of his budding affections came sauntering in the kitchen.

"Ah, ah, ah, K.P.," Ron turned to the side to scold her playfully . "No peeking while the master is at work."

"I can't help it, Ron. It smells so good…" Kim admitted, taking in the various scents of the kitchen.

"Just a couple of more minutes, and your taste buds won't…"

"I wasn't talking about the food, Ronnie."

When did she get so close? Perhaps it wasn't a good idea for him to not focus on Kim as he thought as a pair of arms wrapped around him. Funny, he remembered putting on a small amount of cologne tonight.

"Kim! Not so close…! The pot's scalding hot." He felt the apparition of her lips grow dangerously close to his ear.

"The pot's not the only one,"

Ron gulped. This was a bit much… and… and… she was starting to nuzzle his neck. Was him cooking that much of a turn-on for her? Or was this the result of months of tension boiling over? Or… or…

"Ron-nnnnn," she teased, now applying kisses underneath the tie of his apron. He had to focus on dinner… dinner… oh, my, her hands were so close to his roll of quarters right now that he could barely contain himself… maybe dinner could wait a while. Kim teasingly calling his name was more than enough to him to get full upon.

"Ronnn…"


"Ron?"

"Ah, you can't K.P.! That's my spot…!"

"Ron!"

Oh, wait this wasn't his kitchen! This was that fancy restaurant and… Kim was staring expectantly at him. Ooh, he was having delusional daydreams again, wasn't he?


End of Part 1

Chrome Notes: So, I looked at my documents one day and I saw old Tales of the Awkward, Chapter 23 staring at me almost in an accusatory fashion earlier tonight. It said, "You chrome-y bastard! How dare you keep me on the shelf for the last three goddamn years?" I had very little to say in defense of myself. I could only sheepishly say to it that I wasn't quite settled with the way this momentous final chapter was going to be set up, and the rest of the cannon fodder that I would say when I make BS excuses. (Life, lack of interest in writing, work, college, et-al) Fact is, I still don't have a concrete plot lined up for the end of this and this early chapter is an offering to all the readers who have waited patiently for ol' S-Chrome to get off his arse and finish the damn thing.

So henceforth, my humble apologies for my tardiness and hopefully within (Please don't hold S-Chrome to this) a couple of weeks, and not before the six year anniversary, Tales of the Awkward will be finished... I hope, I pray.

S-Chrome