Warning: melodrama below.
"Hey."
Alec's eyes snapped open. He hadn't been kidding when he'd told Simon about Shadowhunters waking up easily when startled. It was still dark in the tent, but he could make out the fuzzy shape of someone crouching over him.
"I can't tell if you're awake or not."
Alec groaned internally. Great.
"Alec?"
"Be quiet before you wake everyone else up."
Jace chuckled under his breath. "I knew you were awake."
"And might I ask why you're waking me up at this ridiculous hour?"
"I checked Simon's watch."
Alec froze.
"It's 12:01."
"Don't do this to me, Jace. Let me sleep a little longer."
Jace laughed slyly. "No can do."
"Why not?"
"Justice never sleeps, my friend."
Alec, still groggy with sleep, blinked a little, processing what Jace had just said. He didn't have time to ask for clarification before Jace grabbed his hand and began pulling him out of the tent. In his half-asleep state, Alec stumbled across the tangled bodies, praying silently that no one would wake up - it was unfair, but he couldn't use Jace as a scapegoat. Once he was outside, the chill of the night air wrapped itself around him. It had stopped raining, but everything was so wet that Alec still felt damp.
"What did you say?"
"Huh?"
"Back there, in the tent. What did you say? I'm just checking I heard you right."
Jace grinned sheepishly. "Justice never sleeps."
"Listen, Batman, I don't know what you're planning, but if you're going to use the next twenty-four hours to get me to do your dirty work - "
"That's exactly what I'm going to do," Jace said, nodding to himself. Alec blinked, clearing his vision. He was dreaming. He was still asleep. Jace hadn't just dragged him out into the middle of the forest at a minute past midnight to use him as a vigilante pawn. It was all an illusion.
Alec yawned, and turned back to the tent.
"Where are you going?"
"Back to sleep," he said, beginning to clamber in. It's all just a dream, he told himself. But then he felt Jace's hands on his waist, yanking him backwards, away from the tent. That had felt real. There was no doubt about it. This dream - or rather, he thought, this nightmare - was, in fact, a reality.
"I don't think so," Jace muttered, zipping the tent shut. "You and me have business to attend to."
"You and I."
"What?"
"You said you and me. It's you and I."
"Be careful or I'll make you a target on my hit-list too."
"Can I ask exactly who is on your hit-list?" Alec ventured as they walked into the blackness of the forest at night. The moon hung high above them, the light bright but tantalisingly scarce through the canopy.
"It's best you don't know."
"If I'm going to be enacting 'justice' against someone, I want to know who it is before I have to do it. I need to brace myself for the repercussions that, may I remind you, I will have to deal with on your behalf."
"Fine." Jace turned to him, his expression sombre. "It's everyone."
"What?"
"Every single person in this group has wronged me in some way or another, and today, we are going to right those wrongs."
"Excuse me? What has Izzy done? What has Magnus done? In fact, what has Clary done? Has anyone actually 'wronged' you other than Simon? Has Simon even wronged you?"
"It's best you don't ask questions," Jace murmured, striding away. Alec sighed.
"What's wrong? Are you regretting losing a bet to me?"
"To be honest, I kind of thought that today would be me getting you food, or massaging your feet, or… I don't know, serenading you with the sweetest of nothings. I don't know, and frankly, I didn't care. But… this? Really? If you have so much pent-up angst and aggression inside of you that the only way you can express it is through becoming some sort of crime lord… we need to talk."
"Later, manservant," Jace ordered dismissively. "I'm not wasting my twenty four hours talking. But just for the record - I do not have issues. I just thought this would be the most fun way to utilise your servitude. Although," he said thoughtfully, "a foot massage would be nice."
Alec rolled his eyes. "Where are we going?"
"Somewhere we can discuss plans without being seen by the others. They can't know I'm in on this with you. It has to look like it was all your idea."
"If you weren't my parabatai, I'd kill you. Genuinely."
"And I love you too, Alec, but let's save these charming sentiments for later. Right now… we have work to do."
Isabelle woke up before sunrise, which surprised her. She usually wasn't much of a morning person. When she was little, she used to wake up as early as possible every day, and then she discovered the joy of sleeping in, and abused the luxury of late-morning starts whenever she could afford them. In fact, on her days off, she never woke up before nine o'clock, unless -
Her eyes were still adjusting to the dark, but she didn't need to see to know that the boys were gone. Of course they were. She sighed, going to sit up but remembering Simon asleep on her lap. Okay, so she wouldn't be able to go and find them. She just had to think logically - where would they be?
Judging from how quietly they had left, it had to have been voluntary. From her years of experience, she was almost certain that whatever had compelled them to leave had been Jace's idea. But why would Alec follow suit? Unless Jace was in a degree of danger, or he was contractually bound, there was no way Alec would be so stupid. Jace was most likely not in danger - not at this hour - so Alec must be under some sort of obligation to Jace.
Great.
She'd just have to remember to look out for anything suspicious when the day rolled around. Until then, however, she'd get as much sleep as she could.
Simon woke up to someone tousling his hair. Huh. That was unusual. He opened his eyes - the room was still mostly dark, with a sliver of light let in through the half-open tent flap. He didn't need much light to see that the person gently caressing his face was kneeling in the entrance to the tent. That was strange - he could still feel Izzy asleep underneath him. Someone other than his girlfriend was fondling his hair.
He could already tell that it was going to be a very strange day indeed.
"Are you awake, gorgeous?"
If it hadn't been for the deadpan delivery, Simon wouldn't have realised it was Alec talking to him. He blinked once more. Perhaps he was still asleep, and dreaming. Perhaps he had unknowingly ingested a large quantity of LSD and was now on a spectacularly absurd acid trip.
He continued to blink, waiting for his vision to clear and Alec's hunched shape to disappear. But it didn't.
"Wait, what?"
"Shh," Alec said, awkwardly resting a finger on Simon's lips. He couldn't help but notice that Alec was enjoying this even less than him, if that was possible. "Follow me."
Who was Simon to say no?
Once outside, Alec turned to him, his expression bored and reluctant. Simon put on his glasses, at which Alec stifled a grin. Good, Simon thought, there's still something normal in him.
"I've been thinking a lot lately, Simon."
"What's new?"
Alec continued as if he hadn't heard him. "I've been thinking about us."
"Alec. What's going on?"
"I've seen the way you look at me," he murmured, his eyes darting across Simon's face as if he was trying to send a message with his eyes alone. Simon couldn't help but think he looked like someone had taken him hostage and he was trying to communicate with a gun pointed at his head.
"Alec. Seriously. Are you okay?"
His expression softened into a half-hearted grin. The intensity that he had tried to convey with his eyes was gone. "I'm always okay when you're around, my love."
That was it.
"Jace is involved in this, isn't he?"
"Shh," Alec purred, stepping closer to Simon. He was so incredibly uncomfortable that he considered punching Alec and running as far as he could before he passed out. But that wouldn't end well. "Jace doesn't have to know."
"Alec. Tell me plainly. What is going on?"
"I know you have feelings for me, Simon."
"So Jace told you, did he?"
A flicker of doubt crossed Alec's face. "Uh… of course he did. But I was able to figure it out myself, too. Don't be afraid, my love. I feel it too."
Simon felt himself blushing, but not out of embarrassment - hell, he didn't even care that Jace had told Alec about what he had said a few nights ago. No, he was blushing because Alec was standing so close to him that he could feel the warmth of his breath through the chilly morning air.
"Alec. Please. You have Magnus. I have Izzy. Think about this. I don't know if you're… under the influence, or something, but if I can't appeal to your common sense then I want you to think of Magnus."
Alec hesitated. He widened his eyes, his hostage-like expression reclaiming his face. He didn't want to do this. That much was evident. But Simon was bewildered as to how he was supposed to help.
"Magnus," he simpered reluctantly, "doesn't have to know."
If the warning bells in Simon's head were any louder, they'd be audible from where Alec was standing. He was frozen, confused and worried, as Alec slowly leant down and planted a kiss on his forehead.
"What the fuck, Alec?"
"It will all be clear soon, my love. Don't say a word to the others. They don't need to know." Slowly, he backed away from Simon, an apologetic grimace on his face that was replaced in a second by a smarmy grin.
"Where are you going?"
"Would you like to come and see?" He asked with a wink. Simon shook his head, and climbed back into the tent as fast as he could. He wanted to curl up in a ball in Izzy's lap, but suddenly he felt strange around her. Did… did Alec like him? In that way? Surely not. Surely this was just a ruse.
If Simon had looked around the tent, he would have noticed Jace was missing. He could have pieced the puzzle together all by himself then and there. But he was so disturbed by his exchange with Alec that instead he huddled himself into a corner, drew his knees to his chest, and repressed the memory as deep down as he could.
"That was beautiful, Alec. You should consider a job in acting. Even I was convinced you were head-over-heels for Simon."
Alec sighed with relief. Jace hadn't seen his desperate attempts to communicate with Simon via gaze. Jace was still reeling with glee, happy at how confused Simon was, when Alec cleared his throat.
"Hey, Jace? You heard the whole conversation, right?"
"Yep."
"What did Simon mean when he said he thought you had told me about… him having feelings for me?"
Jace's jovial smile vanished. "Oh… nothing, don't worry. It's an inside joke."
Alec looked confused. Jace dismissed it and kept talking. "Do you think he'll tell anyone what happened?"
"Nah. He's too decent a guy to do that. He won't say anything to Magnus, because… well, you know why. He'd feel too awkward saying anything to Izzy, and I doubt he'd say anything to Clary either - because then he'd have to admit that there was something he told you that involved me and him and… are you sure you can't tell me what he said?"
"Like I said. Inside joke. Move on, my friend."
Alec bit his tongue, refraining from pointing out the hypocrisy in Jace, who was currently organising vigilante vengeance missions, telling him to 'move on'.
Magnus was cold. How unfortunate. Someone must have forgotten to close the tent flap, and the morning chill must have wandered in.
But wait - even if the tent was open, Alec was the one who should have been feeling the cold, not Magnus. Magnus was huddled up behind him.
Where was Alec?
Magnus woke up abruptly to see the tent almost empty. Clary was still curled up in a ball, asleep, and Izzy was yawning and stretching out her arms, having just woken up. Calm down, he told himself, trying to ebb the rising panic he felt. Alec's probably just too kind to wake you up when he woke up. He's probably just outside. Come on, Magnus, be rational.
Except there was a small part of him, a small, anxious part of him, that felt that something was wrong. He didn't know why - Alec was probably just outside. In fact, he was probably boiling water right now, so that Magnus could have his usual cup of warm water in the morning. Alec was just thoughtful like that.
If he was that thoughtful, he wouldn't have left you here to be cold. He would have lain next to you for warmth, like he has done for the past few days. He would have waited until you were awake to give you a kiss on the forehead and then gone to boil some water. Something's wrong.
Magnus shut his eyes. No. Nothing was wrong. He was just paranoid. He'd step outside, and Alec would be there, and he would embrace him, and they'd fit ever so perfectly together, and Magnus would thank whatever gods there were once more for the gift of Alec Lightwood.
But when Magnus emerged from the tent, the only person outside was Simon. Swallowing the rising panic, Magnus went to sit next to him. His eyes were wide and his face pale, staring off into the distance.
"Good morning, Simon," Magnus said, a little impatiently. Why hadn't Simon acknowledged his presence? He may be irritating, but Simon was never so brazenly rude.
"Simon?"
He put a hand in Simon's field of vision, trying to get his attention. He flinched, and flicked his gaze to Magnus' feet.
"Good morning," he mumbled, not lifting his gaze to look Magnus in the eye, or even in the face. Something was off.
"Do you know where Alec is?"
Simon winced again, and shook his head nervously. "No. Not at all. I haven't seen him yet this morning. He's probably using the bathroom or something. Not that there is a bathroom to use. I mean - you know. He's probably busy. I don't know. You should go look for him. I'm sure he'd like that. Because he likes you. A lot. Very much. Don't worry. In fact - "
"Are you alright, Simon? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"I'm fine," he blurted, and stood up quickly, still averting his eyes, and fumbled his way over to his and Jace's tent. "I have to… um… I'll be back."
Simon was naturally an anxious person, but this was just extreme. Something was wrong. Something regarding Alec. Magnus gulped.
"Simon? Can I ask you something?"
A small whimper emanated from the inside of the tent. Magnus took this as a cue to continue.
"Is Alec okay?"
A pause. A lethal pause, quickening Magnus' heartbeat and turning the little voice of doubt in his head into a wailing siren.
"Of course he is, Magnus. He's fine."
But Simon's half-ditch attempt at persuasion was lost on Magnus. That pause had been enough to let him know that Alec was not okay.
He gulped, trying to steady the thrumming heartbeat he could feel taking over his thoughts. Alec was not okay.
The next target was Clary. Once Simon was out of the way, Alec found Jace almost at a loss as to who to choose next.
"Not Izzy," he had reasoned. "She's too smart. She'll catch on and expose us."
"Expose you," Alec corrected, but Jace wasn't listening.
"It has to be Magnus."
"No. Not at all."
"You don't get to decide who your victims are, Alec."
Ignoring how violent that sounded, Alec shook his head fervidly. "Think, Jace. You don't want to be linked to the pranks? Go for your girlfriend. It's not as if her and I get along swimmingly, anyway. If I prank her, the blame will shift from you - and don't pretend Simon isn't suspicious of your involvement - to me. Isn't that what you want?"
"You'd throw yourself under the bus like that?"
"I have to. I made a deal."
Jace smiled. "You did indeed."
As he made his way to Clary's tent, he took some deep breaths to clear his mind. He didn't know how he was going to get around inflicting damage on Magnus or Izzy - he hoped that Clary would be sharp enough to call Jace out. But Jace had thought of that - the mission he had given Alec this time was distinctly un-Jace. It wasn't public humiliation or awkward declarations of emotion. It was far more chaotic neutral. It was an inconvenience. He hated to admit it, but it was the kind of prank Alec would pull. Which just made it that much less likely that Jace would get caught.
From across the clearing, Jace gave some sort of signal that Alec could only interpret to mean 'I'm ready'. Alec nodded back, refusing to indulge Jace by playing his stupid signalling game. Jace walked into the midst of the tents, greeting Magnus, who, Alec had just noticed, was looking rather pale.
"Is Alec okay?"
Those three words made Alec's heart drop. Had Magnus talked to Simon? Surely Simon hadn't told him anything… had he? Or perhaps that was the problem - perhaps Simon hadn't told him anything. Perhaps the ambiguity of Simon's worry had set Magnus off. By the Angel, Alec thought, this is too much.
Jace was dismissing Magnus' worries with sweeping hand gestures, which Alec took as a rather unsubtle hint to him to enter the tent. In all honesty, Jace probably hadn't needed to gesticulate so grandly to distract Magnus - he was already lost in thought.
When Alec entered the tent, he was loath to see that Jace's prediction had been right - Clary was indeed the only one still asleep in her tent. Simon was probably in his own tent - Alec blushed just thinking about how awkward Simon must have felt - and Izzy… hmm. He'd have to be cautious of her arriving.
With his nephilim stealth, he crept up to Clary's sleeping form, and slowly took out the marker Jace, rather ironically, had taken from Clary's art supplies earlier. He felt very immature drawing on her face, but although Jace wasn't watching, it would be obvious if he tried to get out of it. Ever so quietly, he uncapped the marker and raised it to her cheek. With a stream of bitter profanity rolling through his head, he drew on her exactly what Jace had described. It became clear after a few strokes of the marker that he wasn't an artist. In fact, he couldn't recall drawing anything other than runes in his life. He sighed with frustration, readjusting his grip on her face, furrowing his brow. How did drawing come so easily to her? Drawing was hard. Drawing realistically was even harder.
Jace coughed loudly outside the tent, another not-so-subtle cue that he had prepped Alec on - it meant 'get out as fast as you can'. And so Alec capped the marked, tucked it in his pocket, surveyed his work once more and then exited the tent, carefully checking beforehand that the coast was clear. Magnus was standing, back to Alec, glaring at Jace, who was shrugging sheepishly. Alec knew instantly that Jace had offended Magnus somehow, and as much as he wanted to slap Jace on Magnus' behalf, he had to get out of there. He scurried away into the nearby bushes, and Jace, still huffing with the indignity of whatever insult Magnus had thrown at him, stalked off too.
"Did you get it done?"
"More or less," Alec admitted. "I'm not an artist."
"That's okay. As long as it looks somewhat accurate."
Alec scrunched up his face. "It looks like someone drew on her. That's all I can give you at the moment."
Jace rolled his eyes. "Fine. But you're going to have to make up for this by giving me a massage."
"Really?"
"Yes. All of this stress is getting to me?"
"You? Stressed? You've done nothing but humiliate me by bossing me around all day."
"It's hard work, but it's worth it," he said with a grin.
"Do you seriously want a massage?"
"Of course," Jace replied, making his way to their newfound hideout. "But, like everything else, you can't tell anyone about it. I don't want people to know that I got a massage from you. It's kind of a strange request."
Alec sighed. Judging from the position of the sun, it wasn't even eight o'clock yet. He had a long day ahead of him.
Izzy narrowed her eyes. She had been watching the boys from a nearby tree. Whatever they had done to spook Simon she had missed, but once she had woken up and seen Simon's concerned look, she decided to investigate. Simon was no help, of course. He refused to tell her what had happened, which meant that whatever the boys had done had either embarrassed him or scared him. Knowing them, it was the former. So, she had chosen a vantage point and observed the tents, waiting for them to make their next move. When Jace and Alec had surreptitiously crept in, she watched carefully. When Alec snuck into the tent where Clary was sleeping, she frowned. And when he escaped with Jace, she sighed. She had followed them for a short while, just far back enough to hear them but not to be spotted.
But, like everything else, you can't tell anyone about it.
Hmm. Interesting. Isabelle made her way back to the camp, trying to plot their next move. If Simon and Clary had both been targeted, it was Magnus or her next. The boys are playing a dangerous game, she thought with a smirk, but they don't know who they're up against.
When Clary stumbled out of the tent, rubbing her eyes, she was met with a glare from Magnus - he seemed annoyed. But the glare softened into a look of confusion after a few seconds.
"What's on your face?"
"Huh?"
"Someone's drawn something on your face."
"Ugh. Really? What is it?"
Magnus cocked his head to the side. "I'm not sure. It… it may be an animal of some kind. Or a… a car, I suppose. Let's just say you shouldn't feel threatened by it - you're still the best artist here by a long shot."
Clary rolled her eyes. "Where's Simon?"
"He's been in his tent this whole time."
"Is he alone?"
"Uh huh."
"Is he okay?"
Magnus didn't need to respond - she could tell from his body language that that conversation had ended there. She tried again. "And Izzy?"
"Good morning!"
Clary whirled around to see Izzy emerge from the trees behind her. "Sorry, I was just… busy. Woah. What happened to your face?"
"I don't know. Can you tell what it is?"
"It might be… I'm not sure. A pregnant elephant?"
"It's too short," Magnus commented. "And it doesn't have a trunk."
"True. But those ears… at least, I think they're ears."
"It could be a method of transport, or something."
Izzy tilted her head. "I don't mean to be… indelicate, but could it be a dick?"
Magnus shook his head. "Nope. Not at all. Trust me."
"What is it then?" She tilted her head again, the other direction, and reached out to change the angle of Clary's face. "Wait. Hold on. I think…"
She let go of Clary, and went to Simon's tent. "Simon. Get out here. I need you to verify something for me."
Without making eye contact with Izzy, he clambered out of his tent. He took one look at Clary and winced. "Who did that to you?"
"If I knew, I'd be off kicking their ass."
"What is that thing?"
"That's what we're trying to figure out."
Isabelle turned to him. "Don't you think it looks a bit like a…"
He stepped forward, carefully examining the drawing. "Yeah. Yes, it does."
"A what?" Magnus asked, his patience running thin.
Almost in unison, the two of them said, "a bantha."
"What?"
"A bantha," Simon said, "is the Star-Wars equivalent of a cow. It originates from Tatooine, but it has been found - "
"Wait, someone drew a Star-Wars creature on my face?"
"Well, it seems like they tried to, yes."
"Who would do that?" Magnus asked. "You're the nerd here, Simon, and you were in your tent the whole time. I can verify that."
"I'm not the only nerd here," Simon said slowly, turning to Izzy. "Where were you? Just then?"
Despite knowing exactly who'd committed this crime against art, she held her tongue. She wasn't going to expose Alec without knowing why he was doing what he was doing first. She needed an alibi, and fast.
"I was… pissing," she said. "My apologies, but I'm sure you don't want details."
Magnus scrunched up his face.
"Come on, Magnus, it's just a bodily function. Grow up."
"Oh, it's not that that disgusts me. It's the fact that you, of all people, are a nerd."
"Shut up," she said jokingly.
Magnus frowned. "If it wasn't you, it was Jace or Alec - I didn't even know there were animals in Star-Wars, let alone panthers - you can't pin this one on me."
Simon decided not to correct him.
"It wouldn't have been Jace," Clary said. "I don't think he's ever seen Star-Wars in his life. And besides - he'd never draw on me. He knows I'll get him back."
"So the culprit is someone who has watched Star-Wars, though clearly not enough to know what a bantha really looks like, someone who can't draw, and someone who isn't afraid of Clary's wrath." Simon looked around with worry.
Magnus gulped. "It has to be Alec."
Simon blanched. Izzy looked down. Clary scowled. "But why would he draw something from Star-Wars? Was… was he trying to frame Simon? Simon… would Alec have any reason to be annoyed at you?"
Simon shook his head abruptly. "No. Not at all. I haven't seen Alec all day."
"Neither have I," Magnus added, his brow creasing with concern. "Have you, Isabelle?"
She swallowed. "No."
"Wait, no one's seen Alec? All day? Have you seen Jace?"
"I have," Magnus answered. "I asked him where Alec was, and he decided to attack me for caring about my boyfriend's whereabouts. Twat."
"Jace and Alec must be up to something," Simon mumbled.
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, Alec drew on your face, and he… I don't know. Jace and him are hiding somewhere. They're going to try to get Iz or Magnus next."
"Why not you?"
"They won't bother with me." Simon laughed nervously. Nobody bought it, but they moved on. They had plans to make of their own.
"Better?"
Jace nodded sleepily. "Good thing you're a better masseuse than artist."
"Speaking of, why exactly did you get me to draw one of the Star-Wars cows?"
"I thought I told you not to ask questions."
"I've already done it. There's no harm in telling me."
"Fine." Jace rolled onto his back. "I wanted to make sure they didn't suspect me at all, so I used something from Star-Wars."
"How did you even know there were cows in Star-Wars? Have you watched it?"
"Maybe," Jace said. "And just for the record, they're called banthas."
"God - another Star-Wars nerd? And another undercover one, at that? Soon, there'll be enough of you to form a fellowship."
"Wrong nerd movie, Alec. Now. Next target."
"Really? You're still going with this? Don't you think that they've cottoned on by now?"
"Maybe. But if they have, they've cottoned on to you. Not me. And because what I say goes today, we're still going ahead with this. If you get caught, you can't blame me."
"You know what? Fine. But if they figure out it's you behind all of this without my help, you're a goner. I'm sorry, but you're abusing your privileges here, and simultaneously being a colossal assnugget, so you can't blame me for not wanting to back you up."
Jace quirked an eyebrow. Alec regretted saying everything the moment after he said it.
"If that's how it is, Alec, then I suppose you've just sorted out your next target."
"Fine. Do whatever you want to me. I don't care. Honestly, I have nothing left to lose."
"Oh, Alec. Sweet, naïve Alec. I'm not going to make you the next target. I'm making Magnus the next target."
"You wouldn't."
"I would. And you know what? We're going to make this… this enactment of justice so monumental that it will take half a day to plan and another half to execute. And you're not going to get a single chance to let Magnus know that something is off. And while we're at it, as we're going all out, we're going to get Izzy as well."
"If you're doing this just to piss me off, you may as well just punch me in the face and be done with it. Less effort on your behalf."
Jace smiled. "Nah. This is too much fun."
"You're being a complete and utter shithead. You know that, right?"
"I know. But I only get one day with you as my manservant. I have to use it as best I can."
Although it had stopped raining since last night, the sky was a blinding grey that threatened to storm. It was less cold than before, but the warmth from a few days ago had disappeared. The camp was eerily quiet, with everyone stationed strategically around the tents. Magnus was inside his tent, and Izzy inside hers, as protected as possible. Clary was trying her best to casually lounge against the tree that was closest to Magnus' tent, and Simon was sitting outside Izzy's. From their positions, the two of them could see any movement around the tents. Simon was being unusually quiet, but Clary didn't have the heart to ask why. She knew that if he wanted to speak, he would. But he was just awkwardly quiet.
"Do you think Alec has taken Jace hostage or something?"
"Why would he do that?"
"I don't know… I don't understand why Jace wouldn't act out as well."
"Honestly, Si, don't worry about it. All that's happened so far is that Alec has drawn a crappy caricature on my face. He'll be back soon, and we'll spot it when he is. Maybe Jace is behind this. Who knows. But they both have to come back at some point, and when they do, we'll figure everything out."
"Clary… did you… provoke Alec in any way? Would there have been a reason why he drew on you?"
"Not at all." She frowned, looking at his uneasy expression. "Why?"
"No reason. Just… trying to figure things out."
"You have seen Alec today, haven't you?"
Simon widened his eyes and jerked his thumb at the tent. "Of course not."
She nodded in understanding, and the two of them met at a halfway point between the tents, where neither Magnus nor Izzy could hear them.
"I did see him. And he was super weird, and then he… kissed me."
Clary held the back of her hand to his forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I know, right? It's super messed up. But he did… not like, an actual kiss, but on the forehead. And he kept saying that he'd seen the way I looked at him, and that he felt the same. I don't know what was wrong with him, but he seemed really… anxious. Like he was trying to tell me something. But he couldn't. And then he kinda… left."
Clary cursed. "Jace is behind this. One hundred percent. There's no way Alec would ever show anyone but Magnus remotely as much affection as that. But why would Alec do that?"
"Exactly - I could have told Magnus. I could have told Izzy. I could have majorly screwed up things for him, especially if anyone believed that he had feelings for me. He's not that careless with this kind of stuff."
"Whatever his motives were, I think it's pretty clear we have Jace to blame for this."
"So what are we going to do? Can we have like… a super-badass plan to catch them - like… like an Ocean's Eleven style badass plan - and then we can do like a Scooby-Doo reveal of their evil scheme, and we'll get the last laugh, and Jace will be all like 'damn, we would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!' and we'll just kind of laugh and then get them back by - "
"Sure."
"Wait - really?"
"Why not? Jace and Alec, regardless of the circumstances, are trying to terrorise us. Why not bite back?"
Simon smiled the same kind of smile that Clary knew so very well - the kind of smile that meant he was getting up to mischief. He had smiled like that when they were seven years old, hiding in a cupboard, about to jump out and scare Jocelyn. He had smiled like that when he was eleven, handing Clary a cake that he had baked 'just for her', which turned out to 'accidentally' be salty rather than sweet. And now, he was smiling like a little kid again, because here was his chance to get back at Alec and Jace for whatever strange torment they had inflicted upon him this morning. Clary couldn't help but smile too.
It was night time by the time Jace and Alec crept back into the camp. Alec almost felt like tripping and falling, giving away their position, and letting this whole escapade be over. But he knew Jace would never forgive him for that, so he begrudgingly slunk around the tents. He was on edge after being away from Magnus and Izzy for so long - they were usually enough to balance out Jace's crazy impulses. And yet, he found himself obeying Jace's every word, much to his disdain. Oh well - it looked to be at least ten o'clock. Two hours of this torment left.
They had mapped out the plan in excruciating detail, which is what had taken them so long - well, that and countless petty errands such as massages, fetching fresh water, and serenading Jace with 'the sweetest of nothings' (Alec wished he had held his tongue). Alec was concerned that in the hours they had spent away from the camp, worry would have arisen - there was no way the blame for anything was pinned on anyone but Jace and him. Knowing Izzy, she would have devised a trap to catch them in the act, which was precisely why Jace had followed him here to distract her. However, as they circled the tents, the light cast by the campfire showed nobody to be outside of their tents.
Before Jace could get close enough to whisper to Alec, Clary stepped out of Jace and Simon's tent.
"Jace! You're back!"
Alec slipped into the shadows. She hadn't seen him.
"Clary!"
"Where have you been?" She made puppy-dog eyes at him, pouting a little. He shrugged nonchalantly, and she draped her arms around him. "Alright then. Don't tell me. But I haven't seen you all day. We have some catching up to do."
With a wink, she pulled him towards his tent. Jace hesitated, and she froze, her wide eyes imploring. "Don't you want to…"
"Oh - of course I do. Of course. Um. Ha. But… first, could I just… talk to Iz?"
"Why?"
"I just…"
"I'm sure it can wait."
And with a giggle, she pulled him into the tent. Alec sighed. Now that Jace was well and truly incapacitated for the night, he'd have to carry out the mission on his own. And Isabelle could be anywhere.
He spotted Magnus' tent and began to make his way over. Before he entered, however, the flickering firelight showed the silhouette of two figures inside the tent. Alec could only just hear the voices, but he recognised one of them as Magnus, and one of them as -
SHIT.
Simon.
He crouched beside the tent, listening carefully to what they were saying.
"I'm sorry to break it to you in this way, Magnus… I… I don't know what it means either."
"I just don't know how Alexander… my Alexander… could do such a thing. I thought I meant something to him."
Alec wanted to throw up, to faint, to start crying. He wanted to implode, and take out the world with him. He was so stupid, so fucking stupid, for ever agreeing to do anything for Jace ever. Magnus thought…
No. Shit. God.
"It's alright, Magnus. Don't cry."
SHIT.
"I just… we were supposed to move in together. I thought he… I thought he loved me."
I DO, he screamed to himself, I DO I DO I DO.
"Magnus… there's something else you should know."
Silence.
"I think I love him back."
Alec froze. Fuck.
"Simon…"
"Please don't hate me. I… I've felt this way for a while now, and it's been awful - I can barely look Izzy in the eye anymore. I just… I love Alec. There. I said it. I hope you don't hate me."
Alec did. Alec hated Simon with the intensity of all nine circles of Hell. He hated Jace. He hated his parabatai for ruining his life. He hated the world, and the world hated him.
If Alec had not been so distraught at the news, he would have seen Isabelle watching him from a metre away, hidden in darkness. He would have seen her sneak back into her tent. He would have known something was amiss. But he couldn't think of anything, anyone, besides the people in that tent.
Inside the tent, Magnus was frowning. But not because he had just lost the love of his infinite life to Simon Lewis, but because he knew for a fact that Alec had heard that. It hurt him, to hurt Alec. But both Jace and Alec were playing with fire, and Izzy and Clary were determined to let them get a little burnt.
Simon silently reached out and squeezed his hand, as if to say 'don't worry - it'll be over soon'. Magnus took Simon's hand and looked at his watch. 10:47. How much longer could the night drag on?
Jace and Clary, however, didn't care about the time. In fact, they were unaware time was passing. Clary was kissing Jace with so much intent, so much hunger, that Jace almost thought something was wrong.
Almost.
But he kissed her back, because he had missed her being her, had missed her fiery, passionate self. He had missed looking at her and seeing his Clary, the Clary that had fought for him, over and over again. The Clary that he fought for. And so they kissed, aimlessly and yet purposefully, carefully and yet recklessly, as time ticked by for everyone but them.
Jace forgot about the mission - in fact, he forgot that anything outside of their tent existed.
Isabelle sat, waiting. Jace was immobilised for the time being, and Alec had received the first blow of her master plan. She admitted that it was cruel, but Simon had wanted reparations for the embarrassment Alec had caused him. Frankly, she didn't know why Simon was so disturbed at the prospect of Alec liking him. When he had told the group, he seemed almost afraid that it would insult her. Magnus had laughed it off ('no offence, Salmon, but why would he choose you over me?'), which seemed to ease the tension, and Izzy couldn't help but smile too. Of course, she'd choose Simon over Magnus any time, but the idea of her brother having the same taste in guys as her made her laugh.
At the end of the day, however, if Simon wanted to get Alec back, he had every right to. It was all harmless, right? Alec wouldn't take it seriously, would he?
She was kidding herself. Of course he would. He'd taken every joke she'd ever told him seriously. That was just the kind of guy he was. But he and Jace needed to be taught a lesson, didn't they?
Alec sat outside that tent for at least an hour. He didn't feel like confronting anyone anymore. He didn't feel like moving. Ever. His new plan was to curl up in a ball and die. Jace wouldn't mind that he'd abandoned the plan, would he? Judging from the shaking of the tent he was currently sharing with Clary, he'd abandoned the plan as well.
That was okay, though. At least he wouldn't have to hurt Magnus. At least - he wouldn't have to hurt Magnus any more than he already had.
He rubbed his eyes as if they were irritating him - nobody was watching, but he didn't even want to admit to himself that he was crying.
Simon and Magnus were still talking, but quieter. Alec couldn't hear what they were saying, but honestly, he didn't care. Why should he? He'd only get hurt more.
"Should I go now?"
"If you want to."
"How should I do it? Should I storm out angrily, as if we've had a fight? Or should I saunter out casually, as if - "
"What if I slap you, and you leave with your head in your hands, running away in fear?"
"Oh. Okay."
"Come on. We have to give Alec something."
"He messed with me. Can't I mess with him back?"
"Let's go with the slapping option."
"Wait - "
"Holy shit!"
Alec scrambled into the shadows. The slap had been loud enough to shake him from his thoughts. Simon stumbled out of the tent, a betrayed expression on his face. There was a red mark on his face where Magnus had slapped him.
Huh.
Maybe all hope was not lost.
Jace snapped his eyes open. Simon's startled yelp brought him back to reality.
"Clary - "
"Just a little longer," she whispered into his neck.
"I have to go," he said, reaching for his clothes. She frowned innocently.
"Not yet."
"I'm sorry. I have to."
Her playful longing vanished, replaced by a smirk. "I can't let you do that."
"Why not?"
"Because," she said, sitting up. "We're onto you."
He jolted upright, only to find his hand tied to a pole on the inside of the tent with a length of rope. He cursed Luke's foresight in making them pack rope.
"How…"
She lifted her wrist to him to reveal a stealth rune. "You're not the only one here with a plan, Jace."
Oh shit.
Alec.
With Simon gone, Alec took a deep breath, and went to the back of Magnus' tent. The plan was simple - spook him. After all of the deliberation, Jace didn't have the heart to make it anything more monumental than a good old-fashioned jump-scare. Jace had given him a large leaf to bat the tent with, and told him some eerie noises to make. This had all seemed a lot more appropriate before, when Magnus would have been sitting alone in the dark, thinking or something, and Alec would have given him a little fright. Now? It just seemed petty.
In fact… he wasn't going to do it. No. This was ridiculous. Jace wouldn't care - he could see Jace's tent shaking again, more frantically than last time. Alec scowled. He had kept us his end of the deal, and Jace was in another world.
Jace was trying desperately to free himself from the rope. He tugged at it, shaking the frame of the tent. He didn't want to yell, in case Izzy heard and went looking for Alec. She'd be pissed at him. Of course she would. He'd been gone all day, and he'd hit on her boyfriend and scribbled all over Clary. And Clary wouldn't be working alone - tying him up wasn't going to achieve much if there weren't others working with her. Alec was screwed.
Simon opened Isabelle's tent and gave her a thumbs-up. She nodded in return, and he helped her out of the tent. She couldn't see her brother, but Simon silently indicated that he was behind Magnus' tent. Was he hiding, or was he waiting to strike? Who knew.
Simon held up his watch for her to see. 11:52. Clary had estimated that Jace would be able to escape in five minutes max, but Izzy had thought it would be closer to three. They had to act quickly.
With all of her nephilim stealth, she rounded the tent until she was opposite Simon, and Alec was in between them. Slowly, they approached Alec, who was staring blankly at the tent.
"Hey."
Isabelle paused. "You knew I was here?"
"Not you," he admitted. "But Simon breathes really loudly."
"Damn it," Simon muttered under his breath. Isabelle smiled gently.
"Okay. You got us." Ignoring Simon's inquisitive frown, she sat down next to her brother. "What's wrong?"
Alec shot Simon a sidelong glare. "Ask this calumnious Casanova."
"Ouch," Simon scoffed sarcastically. "That hurt."
"Alec," Izzy said softly. "Why are you doing… this?"
He didn't say anything.
"Jace is making you do this, isn't he?"
Still nothing.
She sighed impatiently. "You lost a bet. Of course you did. Have you learnt anything from the past ten years of your life?"
"I honestly thought I was going to win," he mumbled.
"Of course you did. And look where you are now."
"I don't… I don't understand," Simon said, sitting down so the three of them were awkwardly lingering at the back of Magnus' tent. "If you lost a bet to Jace, why are you doing all of this weird shit? Why not just do stuff for him?"
"Oh, I had to do stuff for him too. Pro tip: never sarcastically promise to serenade Jace if you're not prepared to do so."
Izzy rolled her eyes. "Bloody Jace. Trust him to make things difficult."
"Well, now that you've figured this out on your own and I'm technically allowed to talk things over with you guys… Simon. What the fuck."
Simon grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."
"Why the hell would you tell Magnus? I thought you'd be decent enough to keep it quiet, at least for twenty-four hours. But no, you had to go and… mess everything up for me just because I pretended to think you liked me."
"Wait… you were pretending?"
Both Izzy and Alec stared at him expectantly. "Of course I was pretending. You're dating my sister."
"So Jace didn't…"
"Jace didn't what?"
Simon groaned. "Of course he didn't. Of course he'd let me make a fool of myself. Shit. Okay. You know what? Never mind then. I take back telling Magnus. I was only trying to make Jace feel bad about telling you something that I thought was confidential. All good."
"All good? All good? Simon, you told Magnus freaking Bane that I - that I - "
He stood up, stumbling to the entrance to his and Magnus' tent. Izzy turned to him. "Did… did we tell him Magnus was in on this?"
Simon blinked.
"I don't believe we did."
"Get off me," Jace whispered, still afraid of alerting Isabelle to Alec's mission. Clary was pinning him to the tent floor. She was tiny, but she had learnt from him how to take down a foe bigger than her. Curse my superior training skills, he thought to himself.
"No. You're staying here."
"Why, though? Why would you do this to me?"
"Because you and Alec are up to something, and we're getting you back."
"Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but making out with me and then tying me to a tent isn't exactly revenge. In fact, some would call it a good time."
She frowned. "Yeah, but Alec's the one who's been doing all of the pranks, right? You're just his sidekick. He's the one Isabelle wants to get back at."
Oh shit. Isabelle was already involved, and from all of Jace's childhood years, he knew she was ruthless when it came to getting people back. There was no hope for Alec.
For Alec.
His parabatai.
Great. Now he had to do something.
Magnus was already outside the tent before Alec got there.
"Alec, I - "
"I'm sorry. I don't love him. Of course I don't. Look at him."
From where he had left them, Simon coughed.
"Magnus, I - fuck. Okay. Sorry. I just… I just want you to know that I do love you. I didn't mean what I said… Jace made me. And I can say that now, because Iz already figured it out. I was an idiot and I made a bet with Jace and I lost it and I've had to do some really weird shit, Magnus, but I also had to flirt with Simon and trust me I'm as disgusted at that as you have every right to be."
"Alec - "
"And I know it's not fair that I - "
"I knew."
"What?"
"I knew it wasn't true. Please. As if you'd have a thing for Simon - "
Simon yelped. "Hey!"
" - because he's your sister's boyfriend," Magnus said in a warning tone. Simon piped down. "Alec, don't apologise. Jace is just messing with you. We were just messing with you."
"But… why?"
Magnus shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, I was against it from the start."
"So what… your plan was to make me feel like shit? Congratulations. Sister, boyfriend, and… Simon of the year awards all round."
"We had planned more. Namely, to ambush you and draw on you. But that seemed like taking it a bit too far."
"No shit."
There was a crashing sound, a curse from Clary, and Jace tumbled out of the tent, his arm still inside of it.
"Alec! Wait!"
He ran towards them, dragging the tent behind him.
Simon's eyes widened. "Is Clary still in there?"
"Yes," came her muffled reply.
"Wait… have you told them?"
"Iz figured it out," Alec said.
"When?"
"This morning," she said smugly. Jace rolled his eyes.
"And we've been hearing all about how you've messed with Alec," Magnus seethed. Jace gulped.
"Come on, Alec. It wasn't that bad. It was just a few things here and there… oh." Jace paused. There was a familiar glimmer in his eye. A glimmer that Alec knew too well. A glimmer that meant 'I'm still getting the last laugh'. "And a song. A lovely little ditty that you sang for me. Why don't you sing it for us now?"
Alec sneered. "No."
"Well technically, you're still obligated to. Come on. Sing us a song."
Alec looked down at Simon's watch. A smug grin took over his face. He laughed dryly. "Well, technically, it's 12:00. And do you know what that means?" The fire flickered, casting dramatic shadows on his face. "I am not your bitch."
Jace's complacent expression vanished. Clary stumbled out of the tent, muttering angrily to herself, and untied the knot that tied Jace to the tent. Alec started towards him, and Jace, to his credit, didn't even flinch.
"You have every right to punch me in the face," Jace admitted. Alec stopped in front of him, his face expressionless.
"I know."
Jace waited.
Alec leant in and embraced him, laughing to himself. "You asshole."
Jace smiled, patting his parabatai on the back. "Sorry."
"Nah - you'll be the sorry one soon."
"And why is that?"
"No one is ever going to make a bet with you again. Ever."
