The door of the waiting room cracked open and Addison's head bobbed up. Her body was contorted, she was bent over, holding her head in the hands. Streams of mascara mixed with warm tears left crevices on her face, in search of something bigger to spill themselves into. She stared at the door, while Jake jumped out of his chair.

An image of a dishevelled Amelia appeared, unable to speak, with a frozen half-cry, half-smile on her face. Her body was limp, her face livid, and her rubber-legs barely taking note of the commands her tired brain gave them. Never the one for a joker face, she was always honest, for good or bad. With her last forces, she plunged forward and kneelled in front of Addison placing her genius, neuro-God hands on Addison's cheeks, cupping her face. Being each other's sister, a role they played all too often in the past. Getting closer, then distancing themselves one from the other, never constant. And never because of Addison, always Amelia. Her, never able to keep her emotions in check, always in need of a roller-coaster lifestyle, much like drugs offered her the ride of her lifetime.

"I got it all out…" chocking on her words "Addison, she's in ICU" And after getting this heavy weight off her chest, Amelia broke down in tears.

And all Addison could do, was mirror that, cup Amelia's face, kiss her forehead, and cradle her head in her neck, and mumble infinite "thank yous". Later on, looking back on those moments from a distance, Addison realized how much unfair pressure she put Amelia under, and regretted it. But Amelia could cry it all out now, in the comfort of Addison's familiar scent. She felt safe and loved once again, and back to being part of her family. The fear of operating on Ella, was actually all about her family: the people who held her closest and loved her most, when she was at her worst. Amelia wasn't afraid to lose just Ella, but she was afraid of losing that family: Addison, Jake, Charlotte, Sheldon. All of them. She was unsure they would still accept her, if she didn't manage to save Ella's life. She was afraid they would blame her for Ella's death. It all reminded her of Derek. Her amazing brother, and how much she missed him. Derek was a family man. Both for Addison, and for Meredith. He was constant and loving, something which Amelia never was. She relished in the "too much attention" she got from her family after her father died, but not the kind of attention she needed. Confused and frustrated, wanting something, and getting something back she thought wasn't what she wanted, and rejecting it, hurting people along the way. A vicious circle that in time, defined who see was: Hurricane Amelia. Ready to take its prisoners and casualty, in a revenge whose purpose she didn't know either: for something that would bring her father back from the death? For her family being broken apart forever? For not being acknowledged as an adult, but instead a perpetual little girl who got traumatized by seeing her father die? Nobody would ever really know for sure, because what Amelia was, was a baggage of issues collected in time. Stuff filled the baggage, melting into one another, bright and dark patches, leaving no one able to figure out what lay there originally. Hardly anyone dared to help her sort it out, with isolated exceptions such as Addison, Charlotte or Sheldon. Somehow distant enough but close enough, the perfect combination. These people weren't officially her family, which made her accept their love more easily, knowing that if something would go amiss, she could always bail.

But in those moments of ordeal followed by relief, Amelia, still sobbing slowly into Addison's neck, and now perched up on her lap with her arms tightly wrapped around Addion, realized how important her family was to her. How irreplaceable, and how much love stemmed from it. Love that meant everything to her. Why was she always rejecting it whenever the prospect of having a family of her own approached her? Because it was marvellous and she really needed it. Her entire life, she found herself unable to cope with the thought of losing her family again, so it became apparent early on, that she needed to avoid having a family altogether. Being miserable without a family, was something she'd willingly chosen her entire life. And she was comfortable with it. Until love approached again, and instigated in her the craving of love and closeness. And again, she'd end up concluding the same thing: rather than loving steadily for who knows how long, only to have it all ripped away, she'd rather be alone. It was only with Ryan that things were different, because the drugs clouded this deeply seated story she would always tell herself. Until Ryan died too, and reinforced the story even more.

This time was different though. It was all her on shoulders. There was no Derek anymore to save her L.A. family. An unconventional family, which appeared slowly into view, one she didn't choose: an amalgamation of people who genuinely loved her and whom she had spent sad, desperate, happy, funny moments with: Charlotte, Addison, Jake, Sheldon. This family she didn't choose to have, but they just unintentionally crept in on her without alerting her defence system. Until it dawned on her one day, that she was part of a family, and it was too late to untangle herself from it. She wasn't the little girl whose father died, to these people, she was a neuro-God now, and there were people she loved counting on her maturity and ability to not crack under pressure. She could have run, but she stayed and endured the fear and the prospect of not being able to save Ella, but also relished in the love that eventually poured in on her afterwards. Amelia was becoming ready to accept the idea of allowing herself to commit, to have a family, no matter how fragile this concept would be. To stick through thick and thin. It was not just a way to honor Derek's memory and redeem herself for the countless times she drove him mad, with her emotional instability and stubbornness. To somehow show him she was finally ready to grow up and own up. But it was something she felt she finally wanted: to love and to be loved, no matter how ephemeral it might be, it was worth it. And there was something else she had learned through everything that happened to her: she was strong enough to survive unthinkable levels of pain and despair.

During this entire time, none of them noticed James, standing eerily in the background. He'd joined Amelia as soon as he noticed her walk to the waiting room to give Addison and Jake the news.

Jake shifted joyfully to give him a hug and thank him too for saving Ella's life.

"It was all Amelia, really, she was amazing." He said, gazing at her cradled in Addison's arms, his thoughts far away, maybe at how their wedding would have been like.

He quietly slipped out of the room, and after a while so did Amelia. She directed her worn out body to the nearest on call room to sleep it off. When she opened the door, there was James yet again.

"Oh sorry, I didn't realize you were here."

"All the other rooms are taken. If you want to sleep, have the top bunk."

"Lucky me." She mumbled while climbing.

He knew she hated the top bunk. He knew everything about her. And he couldn't understand still why they weren't together anymore. After Amelia settled into the top bunk, he couldn't help himself anymore and burdened by the eventful day that was about to close, he blurted out:

"Amelia, why did you leave me?" Why did you leave our engagement? Our plans to make a family? What changed?"

"James . . . "Silence settled over the room, with only their heavy breaths audible. "Nothing changed. We were … perfect and I chose not to see it. I wanted it, a family with you, until the reality of it scared me to death. The domestic life, the predictability, but most of all, fully committing to somebody like that, with no way out. I wish I were wiser back then, and had done it all in a better way. James, never doubt my love for you. The truth is, you're amazing James, and I missed out on you, I was stupid and I couldn't see it."

James shifted in the bed, heavy with thoughts and regrets. "Amelia … we're not a thing anymore, but we nearly got married. And… you may not be my wife but I feel we owe each other at least respect." His words stabbed her, because he was right, and she had to live with it. She had to live with existing next to him, and being reminded of how horrible she was to him, and how amazing and loving of guy she missed out on. Running away from James, and breaking up their engagement in the most immature, despicable way possible. Running away from a man who was ready to commit his life and love to her. And here he was, wanting closure. She never really thought about why she ran away from James, or for that matter, made peace with what she did to him. But Amelia was slowly starting to realize that you really can't run away forever, and things you run away from, have a way of finding you out sooner or later.

It was a freezing day in Switzerland much like any other day in winter there. Owen packed for this trip properly, but he was still taken aback by just how cold it was. He was settling in nicely and was enjoying having this mind occupied by touristy sight-seeing and great food, all entertained by Cristina. When she picked him at the airport, it was like nothing ever happened between the two of them. Two peas in a pod. They were both beyond thrilled to see each other. Cristina, who was as ever buried in work - great, amazing, prize-winning work – took a vacation for the first time ever in her life to spend with Owen. In part because she realized him coming over to visit meant something was wrong, and Meredith confirmed it all. But in part because she missed him.

"God, I love the fresh air here. Clears the mind" Owen gleefully remarked while they went on an afternoon walk at the foot of the Swiss hills surrounding Zurich.

"I liked it too at first, then I got used to it!"

They both laughed out loud, being reminded of Cristina's ruthless sarcasm.

"You'be been grilling me about all kinds of things since you've been here Owen, but you haven't told me much about yourself"

He sighed heavily and knew she was entitled to ask. He pointed to a bench overlooking the frozen sunset which was upon them.

"Why don't we go sit over there?"

He rubbed his hands together as they both sat down gazing ahead of them. Cristina looked at him intently, with a tinge of worry. She was the one to initiate the breakup, but she never put Owen behind her. She often talked to Meredith about him, but never to him. She felt it was out of place to maintain close contact, after their friendly but painful breakup.

"After you left, I went to Iraq a couple of times. With April, I needed to deal with the pain somehow. She lost her baby, and she was just as desperate as I was."

She knew he was going to take their breakup hard, but to hear it from him in this way, made it all the more real. It wasn't easy on her either, but she was able to cope better.

"After I came back, I got into a relationship. It was nothing like what you and I had, it was different. And it was complicated from the start, we both are complicated."

Cristina knew who he was referring to, Meredith having dished all kinds of gossip in the last year.

"There were moments I thought our relationship doesn't stand a chance, moments I thought we might pull through. Times she drove me insane, times I looked at her while she was sleeping, and knew she was meant for me. Things had just gotten better, when . . . my PTSD relapsed." Owen was beating himself up, all over again, upon hearing himself tell all of this, making the pain surface and spill into his mind.

She put her left hand on his shoulder and her right cupped his cheek, turning his face to hers. Encouraged by the sorrow that mirrored his own in her eyes, Owen continued.

"I choked her, just like I did with you. All over again" He nodded, pulling away from her hands and nodding disapprovingly with his eyes fixed on the ground. "And if it hadn't been for Meredith who got home right in those moments . . . who knows Cristina"

His demons got the better of him again, but not of her. She took his head, pulled it towards her and rested it on her chest while stroking his cheek. The silence fell between them for a few moments. Owen would be later grateful for that, and the conversation that followed between them. Who would understand this better than his former wife, who had gone through the same ordeal with him, and despite it all, was just as accepting as she ever was. And Owen knew somewhere deep inside he was lucky enough, to know and love not just one, but two women who were able to forgive him and love him anyway. The realization just hadn't made it to the surface of this consciousness yet. What he did know, was Cristina and the familiar love they shared. And in that moment, all he could do, was give way to his impulses. He pushed himself away from her chest, turned around and kissed Cristina under the veil of a freezing Swiss twilight. Steam from their hot breaths, drifted towards the sky. It was long and lustful, full of memories to rekindle, and demons to slay. It was familiar and comfortable, it was family for both Owen and Cristina. They formed a family, way back when.