I've no idea if anyone other than my few reviewers are reading this...but I'm posting because at least a few lovely people are waiting to see what happens and I can't disappoint even one reader by not continuing on. So for my lovely reviewers, especially Merlin71 (my most loyal reviewer) here's a bit more. I wish it could be a happier part, you guys deserve some sunshine and puppies for having lasted this long with this!
Growing Up Chase
By Rebel Yell
Part Nine (Age 15)
"Robert, come in here."
" Mum - I've loads of work."
"Robert, I told you to come in here." Victoria Morgan (she'd dropped the Chase when Robert's father divorced her) was standing at the door to her office, looking both angry and noticeably drunk. The first was only somewhat unusual, the second unfortunately far less so. He sighed, but nodded and stepped into the room he hated. His mother usually only called him in to scream at him, usually about his father. Sometimes about his own behavior. He could never decide which style of rant he hated more.
" Mum, honestly, I've loads of work. I've an exam in chemistry tomorrow."
"Did you think I wouldn't find out?"
" You rarely do." Rob muttered, wondering just what his mother had 'found out' this time. Some days, he was in trouble for legitimate misbehavior (the marijuana in his room last year, for instance, before he realized it was just another way to do what she did) and other days he'd be in trouble for something like being out after 8 pm (his curfew when he was ten) or for talking to a girl.
" Don't take that tone with me, Robert. I am still your mother."
" When it pleases you to remember it at least."
" At this point, you're already grounded until you turn sixteen - want to try for seventeen?"
" MUM! I won't be sixteen until next autumn!"
" And as long as you are still a minor under my care, you'll obey my rules."
"What rules? You've never been big on rules. Rules are my game." It was true. He regulated what he could of their shared lives, trying to force some semblance of normalcy and sobriety onto her days. He generally considered it a success if she drank just enough to keep her withdrawal symptoms at bay, sneaking what she needed when he wasn't at home. It wasn't really a bad day unless she was too drunk to put herself to bed.
" Who is it?"
" Who is what, Mum?"
"Who - a person is not a thing, Robert. Who is she? At least I hope it's a she. Since I didn't know you were doing this at all, I suppose I should not presume to know you as well as I thought I did."
" Doing what? There are several 'she' individuals in my daily life."
" Are there several who you use these with?" He barely managed to catch the item she threw at him - it wasn't a gentle toss. Glancing at the box, he groaned inwardly. Okay, he'd be in trouble for this even if he had normal parents.
"No, not several." He finally answered, not looking up at her. There were days when meeting her eyes was like some sort of challenge to her, and she just got angrier.
" So who is she?"
" Why do you care? You don't normally give a damn what the fuck I do, or who I do it with."
" Don't swear! I care about this! You could ruin your life Robert! You're fifteen! You aren't ready for…condoms."
" Would you prefer I not use the condoms? Because honestly latex isn't my favorite feeling so…if you want me to stop-"
" ROBERT DAVID CHASE! You are too young to be having sex! What if she gets pregnant? Condoms aren't perfect - it could still happen. You could get a disease, or something worse!" She was screaming, red in the face and looked ready to throw more items from her desk at him. She was drunk and angry and it was never a good combination. Robert should have apologized, said he understood, and offered to make dinner. It was what he usually did, and if it had been about anything else in his life, he probably would have. But Jody was his one indulgence, his release - she didn't expect him to take care of her. She took care of him.
" She's on the pill too, Mum. She won't get pregnant."
" How could you…after everything…and…church…it's a horrible sin, what you're doing, Robert. And you're…using some girl."
" I'm not! Why do you assume I'm using her?"
" You're male! That's what men do, Robert. They use women. I thought I had a few years left before you…turned into a man. Before my baby boy turned into one of them."
" I like her, a lot. I'm not using her. It was her idea to have sex. She wanted me!"
" Is she younger than you? She is, isn't she? Men always want younger women. I should call her parents!"
" Mum! She's not younger than me. And I'm not just like Dad, or other men! I just…she wanted me. It's not bad."
" You are! You are bad! You make me ashamed to be your mother. How much younger is she?"
" She's not younger! She's older than me. Please, Mum, don't be so angry. I had to grow up sometime - you knew I would. Please don't be so angry."
" How much older?"
" What?"
" How much older than you is she? You're such a beautiful boy, I worried so much about you. You don't understand how easy it is for someone like you to be manipulated, baby. Such a beautiful boy."
" Mum, I'm not beautiful. I'm not a girl."
"How much older?" She screamed again, and Rob recognized the signs that this was going to be a very bad day. Perhaps bad enough that he wouldn't go to school tomorrow. Sometimes he could convince Johanna to call him in sick. Times when Mum needed him, when she was having mood swings and crying and screaming and angry and sad all at once. The days when he had to call everyone on her schedule to cancel and both sides of the conversation danced around what everyone knew.
" Why? It's not like she's a teacher!"
" How old? Is she…oh god she's an adult, isn't she?"
" Mum, I know what I'm doing-"
" No you don't! You aren't old enough to know what you're doing, Robert!"
" I've been doing it long enough, I well should know. I lost my virginity last summer. You know, the summer you spent always in the bottom of a gin bottle!"
" Don't you dare put this on me, Robert! This is not my fault!"
" It's not anyone's fault! It's just me. I like it, it feels good. It makes me feel good. And unlike your way of dealing - mine doesn't hurt anyone! Not even myself!'
" If your father wanted you, I'd send you to live with him! He'd never…he'd know what to do to keep you from doing this to yourself."
" Sorry, Mum, he doesn't want me. So that leaves Aunt Meg -- but she lives in Perth and we both know you can't bear to have me that far away for more than a day at a time. Uncle Alex moved to England two years ago. You could send me to Aunt Cecily - but she hates me too, doesn't she? Maybe the state home or something!"
" Everyone hates you!" She screamed, and the fact that Robert had heard it before didn't make it any easier to hear coming from his mother. "I hate you! You ruined my life! I wish you didn't exist!"
"Mum." He finally managed to force his voice to work, but it sounded strangled, oddly muffled even to his own ears. "Please, Mum, you don't mean that. Please say you don't mean that.'
" I do mean it! I had a career, a real career! And my marriage, and…it all went away after you were born! Everything! You ruined everything!"
" You don't mean that. I know you don't mean that, Mum." He was trying not to cry, but he was losing the fight.
" You ruined my life, just like you're going to ruin this girl's life! That's what you do, you…ruin-er."
" I'm sorry, Mum. I'm sorry. I ruined everything, and I'm sorry." She was crying now, and so was he, and he stood up to leave. He needed to be anywhere but here. He wanted desperately to call Jody, just to talk to her, but he had to calm down first. She didn't really know about his mum, and he didn't want her to. Only Lizzie and Danny knew -- and he didn't tell even them quite everything. As he passed through the doorway, he whispered, "I love you, Mum."
There was no reply. He hadn't expected one.
